Addons for elderly eaters

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insults and more · Posted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 8:56 pm

I stumbled across this accessibility addon for Firefox called Lowbrowse. It includes a magnification frame at the top of the window, easy image enhancement, and text restyling. Some of the *cough* older people here may find it very handy. You can find it in the Firefox gallery here. I don't know if it works on versions past 3.6, though.

Also, the Readability extension in Chrome and Firefox may be handy as well.

Baiting Guru Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 12237

I hate everything about you, but the extension is cool.

insults and more · Posted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 9:22 pm

^^^ I'd be worried if you didn't, you glorious bastard.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 10 Mar 2011 Posts: 10

leon...Are you tring to say something ???? Dancing Banana

2Panther

Posted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 9:40 pm

Sheesh, I was just at the optometrist's on Thursday getting a new prescription...which is around here someone, if I could see to find it!

Posted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 9:41 pm

leon is going the right way to NOT get an invitation to any of my future birthday parties.

Cool app though Very Happy

insults and more · Posted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 9:46 pm

Hey, I'm a firm believer in H.L. Mencken's statement: “The best years are the forties; after fifty a man begins to deteriorate, but in the forties he is at the maximum of his villainy.”

And I'm not even 30 yet. Rest assured, when I am as old as you, I will look back and realize that everyone under 40 is a moron and everyone over my advanced age is a fool.

Posted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 10:29 pm

Oi! I'm seriously considering crossing you off my Christmas card list.
I'm 64 and my eyesight hasn't deteriorated at all, possibly due to my being short-sighted. I got a new pair of glasses last year, and was surprised to be told that my last eye test was ten years earlier. Virtually identical prescription. Smile

Posted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 10:43 pm

How many dioptres do you have now mr. tambourine man?

btw, don't worry about taking you time to answer, I am not sleepy and there aint no place I'm going to Wink

Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 12:01 am

I just wish I could read the screen in order to know what you are all talking about... Confused

Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 12:49 am

@leon You *day* is coming and wherever you go, they will take a look at you and say "Bless your heart; you are eligible for the elderly discount." Laughing

Some of us like "senior" better. Crying or Very sad

Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 1:03 am

Whaaat? I couldn't hear. Watching the front door because pizza comes from there.

Baiting Guru Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 12237

^

Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 12:57 pm

Thanks, but I got new lenses the other week.

Literally new lenses. As in... biological ones: Out. Synthetic ones: In. Never realized how bad my old eyes had become.

Baiting Guru Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 12237

^OF, where have you been? Good to see you're still alive.

Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 1:17 pm

Here and there.

Mainly there.

Baiting Guru Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 12237

^Good to see you friend.

Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 4:50 pm

@ Mr Tambourine Man:
At our age we can get away with a lot of things by appearing to be senile, but of course appearances aren't always deceptive. Confused

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 10 Mar 2011 Posts: 10

A Raining and stormy Sunday Morning during Church Services;

Toward the end of the Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?"
80% held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one man, an avid golfer named Walter Barnes, who attended church only when the weather was bad.

"Mr. Barnes, it's obviously not a good morning for golf. It's good to see you here today. Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any," he replied gruffly.

"Mr. Barnes, that is very unusual. How old are you?"

"Ninety-eight," he replied. The congregation stood up and clapped their hands.

"Oh, Mr. Barnes, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?"

The old golfer tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit, turned around, faced the congregation, and said simply, "I outlived all the sons of bitches."

2Panther

Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 7:52 pm

Hi, we have plenty more jokes over here http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=134462 if you are interested.

Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 7:57 pm

A grizzled old-timer is taking his morning walk when the town undertaker pulls alongside on the way to a funeral and rolls down the window of his hearse:

"How you doin', old-timer?"

"Never felt better!"

"I'll get you yet, old-timer!"

The old timer smiled and replied:
"That's what your father said!"

Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 8:22 pm

Now we finally know who the really "old" baiters are... Wink

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 10 Mar 2011 Posts: 10

The things kids say....

I was eating lunch today with my 10 year old grandson when his mom asked him, "What is tomorrow?"

He said "It's President's Day."

She asked "What does that mean?" .... I was waiting for something profound.

He said, "President's Day is when Obama steps out of the White House, and if he sees his shadow, we have 2 more years of unemployment."

I almost snorted my pepsi.

2Panther...sorry no link

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 10 Mar 2011 Posts: 10

As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Tennessee back country.

As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions.

I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.

I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man.

And as I played 'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.

As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."

Apparently I'm still lost.........

2Panther...sorry no link again

Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 3:12 am

I here that a second shed is also a must when you're getting on in years.

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