Clean money, a Lost Plot, and now - the Real Thing

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Posted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 11:26 pm

This hit my catcher on Friday:

Quote:

I am Peace 4kpobor from Cote-d Ivoire but presently in Ghana for just two months now, with my two silver box of consignment which i need you to receive my total funds valued to the amount of $10,000,000.00 USD each.
Sir, This boxes has been successfully opened secretly in the hotel room with my keys in the hotel room where am lodging in, I took a $100 note to purchase goods but was rejected because the currency has stain at the front side and a security stamp at the reversed side of my notes and was advise to go straight to the African Union Chemical and Engineering Firm (AUCEF) for inquiries because they are the only registered and well known firm here in Ghana and they are Government Approved, I took the note to their office showed it to the director there but he replied saying we need to clean out the stain and stamp to enable the funds useful but the chemicals in which they are going to us for the treatment
of my funds needs to be ordered from the Chemical Department of World Bank within the next 24 working hours which is above my veto power so i decided to contact you so you could discuss and make every arrangement with the company to make sure they make thefunds clean so i can open an account in your name and have my funds transferred into your account and after you receive you send me an invitation letter to come over so i can continue my education and also be happy again while you invest my funds into a profitable business.

Next day, there was this (emphasis added - you'll see why later):

Quote:

As per why i chooses to contact you sir, I saw your email address and name at the Bujumbura Camp notice board here in Ghana among the God fearing,Generous,Honest foreigners that has been wanting to help African Children out of there distress and suffering and i decided to try and express my feelings and also let you know the hard situation am into now for an assistant so you can help me receive my funds as soon as we can be able to get the currency cleaned and useful at the AFRICAN UNION CHEMICALS AND ENGINEERING FIRM that told me my funds can only be made clean at the purchase of the SODIUM GLUTAMATE which i do not know the amount for unless i show some seriousness about paying for the glutamate so they can let me know the amount, I opened the boxes at the hotel which i lodged in only to find out the the note was secured with a security stain around the head of MR. FRANKLIN and also a security stamp on the reversed side of the notes which is why the money was rejected while i tried to change some dollars into cedes for my own use so this is why i have contacted you to please kindly help me talk t0 the engineering company or help me pay for the glutamate they need so i can have access to clean and spendable money and then we arrange on how i can send you funds via western union, money gram or even bank to bank and then you also send back in return an invitation letter so i can come over to continue my education while you invest my total funds into a profitable business and then you speak to your barrister over there in your country to arrange a guardianship certificate for us so my funds can be legally connected to you as my guardian.
Sir, please find a place in your heart to help me and please see me as your biological son while i promise to make you proud.

I thought that Sodium Glutamate was a flavour enhancer, but now it has other uses...

This morning, I get a chat request. I accept, and then...

----- Our chat on Sun, 13/2/11 8:47 AM -----
Peace (8:10 AM): wus up
Peace (8:10 AM): from where
Mal (8:10 AM): Sorry?
Peace (8:10 AM): m/f
Mal (8:10 AM): You asked me to chat.
Mal (8:11 AM): Are you there?
Peace (8:12 AM): yes
Peace (8:13 AM): sorry a little bit busy
Mal (8:13 AM): How are you busy?
Mal (8:16 AM): Hello?
Mal (8:25 AM): Unless you're able to chat, don't ask/
Peace (8:30 AM): sorry
Peace (8:30 AM): r u thee
Mal (8:31 AM): I'm here.
Mal (8:33 AM): So, talk to me.
Peace (8:34 AM): plz i want to tell u something
Peace (8:34 AM): ok
Mal (8:35 AM): Sure.
Peace (8:35 AM): yea
Mal (8:36 AM): Is that all you want to tell me?
Peace (8:41 AM): my late father dr 0P0MP0NI has amout of 12million sa dalla in I,C,B BANK so he told me that there is a barister behiend it so after the ded of my late father i call the barister n ask him n he said that it is true so i told him that i want to change the nam into my hosbans name n for now i dont have hosban in hana here ok so i want to tell u if u can marry me
Mal (8:42 AM): Say again?????
Peace (8:45 AM): i said my late fathere have 12million us dalla in I C B BANK but for now that he is dead i want to change his name into my hosbans name
Mal (8:45 AM): But you're a man!!!!!!
Peace (8:46 AM): and for GHANA here to am not haven any man here
Mal (8:46 AM): Gay rights are all well and good, but I'm not that way.
Mal (8:47 AM): I'd like to help you get your money cleaned, but I have my limits.
Mal (8:50 AM): Are you still there?
Peace (8:50 AM): so r u going to help me
Peace (8:50 AM): try ur best for me plz
Mal (8:50 AM): Not if marriage is part of the deal.
Peace (8:50 AM): have u marry
Mal (8:51 AM): No. But that's not the point.
Peace (8:51 AM): yes u can help me bcz the money will transfere into ur name ok\
Mal (8:52 AM): But first it has to be cleaned, right?
Peace (8:52 AM): yes
Mal (8:53 AM): Fine. I understand why you want to leave Ghana. You have no rights there.
Peace (8:54 AM): try ur best for me so that i will travel to ur place to live life with u ok
Mal (8:54 AM): I don't know about that.
Mal (8:55 AM): You can make your own life with your own kind.
Mal (8:55 AM): I'm not ready to be your father and I am DEFINITELY not going to be your husband!
Peace (8:57 AM): plz try n recieve this money for me ok bcz i dont want anybody in GHANA here to recieve it ok
Peace (8:57 AM): plz
Mal (8:58 AM): Are you at your hotel, or at the camp you mentioned?
Peace (8:59 AM): for now am in the hotel bora bora
Peace (9:00 AM): with the money
Mal (9:02 AM): You said it was in the bank before, which is odd, because I thought no bank would accept it.
Peace (9:05 AM): so r u gping to help me
Mal (9:07 AM): You're not listening to me, are you?
Peace (9:07 AM): yea
Peace (9:08 AM): plz talk to me bcz i need ur help ugency
Mal (9:08 AM): I am talking but you're not listening too well.
Peace (9:08 AM): ok sorry wht
Mal (9:09 AM): OK.
Peace (9:11 AM): plz ur name
Peace (9:11 AM): r u there with me plz
Mal (9:11 AM): Sorry, I thought you were busy.
Mal (9:12 AM): My name is Mal Reynolds. You said you saw my name at Bujumbura camp ( Laughing

)
[The LOL emoticon was in my original post]
Peace (9:13 AM): yes s
Mal (9:14 AM): You wrote me and asked my help.
Peace (9:14 AM): yes
Peace (9:15 AM): n i hope u r goim to help me
Mal (9:15 AM): You then asked me to think of you as my biological son.
Peace (9:15 AM): ok
Peace (9:15 AM): thank u for ur wold
Mal (9:15 AM): So the marriage thing came as a bit of a shock. I thought gay men were pretty much illegal over there.
Mal (9:16 AM): You took a chance mentioning that. A lot of Western men would have cut you off right there.
Peace (9:16 AM): but am not such people
Peace (9:17 AM): plz
Peace (9:17 AM): help me
Mal (9:17 AM): I don't get it.
Mal (9:17 AM): You're a man who proposed to another man. That's gay, dude.
Peace (9:18 AM): oh no not lithat
Mal (9:18 AM): Sorry, what?
Peace (9:19 AM): sorry i said is not like that
Mal (9:19 AM): No, you asked me to be your husband, and there's only one way to read that.
Peace (9:20 AM): sorry i really need ur help but ihave made a mistake for give me plz
Mal (9:21 AM): Did you think that I'm gay? Why the Sam Frick would you have thought that?
Peace (9:24 AM): i am very very sorry to talk to u like that ok for give me
Mal (9:25 AM): This has turned into a real Charlie Foxtrot.
Peace (9:25 AM): sorry
Peace (9:26 AM): it will never will happen again
Mal (9:26 AM): I hope so.
Peace (9:26 AM): yes
Peace (9:26 AM): so dad u r going to help me
Mal (9:27 AM): How old are you?
Peace (9:28 AM): am 25yer
Peace (9:28 AM): dad try ur best for me ok
Mal (9:29 AM): At that age I'd hardly be looking for a dad. Hell, when I was 25, I was in Somalia with the peacekeepers.
Peace (9:30 AM): ok
Peace (9:30 AM): for here is not like that
Mal (9:30 AM): Like what?
Peace (9:31 AM): bcz of the war
Mal (9:31 AM): War holds no terrors for me. I was in both Gulf Wars.
Peace (9:33 AM): ok
Peace (9:33 AM): but daddy try n do ur best for me ok
Peace (9:33 AM): bcz in u itrust
Mal (9:34 AM): Don't call me daddy. Men of 25 don't call their fathers Daddy. I call my dad Sir.
Peace (9:36 AM): sar try n help me ok
Mal (9:37 AM): Wait one.
Mal (9:37 AM): I'm just reviewing your messages.
Peace (9:37 AM): sar i have trust in u that u will help me
Peace (9:38 AM): so u r not going to help me sir
Mal (9:41 AM): Listen! I am reading what you wrote me before, working out what you asked to be done. Don't be such a gorram nancy-boy!
Peace (9:41 AM): sir plz if ur son wronge u i think u can for give him
Mal (9:41 AM): Just shut up and wait!
Peace (9:42 AM): ok sir
Peace (9:43 AM): sir i belive thatu r going to help me
Peace (9:43 AM): talk to me sie
Mal (9:44 AM): I've read your emails and I think that you want this done.
Mal (9:45 AM): [1] Get the money cleaned, using this sodium glutamate or whatever.
Mal (9:45 AM): [2] Get the money to me somehow.
Mal (9:45 AM): [3] Get out of Ghana.
Peace (9:46 AM): so u r not going to help me
Mal (9:46 AM): What the Sam Frick is your gorram problem???????
Mal (9:47 AM): Holy shit on a shingle - I set out the steps you're suggesting and you start blubbing!
Mal (9:47 AM): You ain't no son of mine.
Peace (9:47 AM): no ]
Mal (9:48 AM): Not when you're being such a nancy-boy.
Peace (9:48 AM): i can belive
Mal (9:48 AM): What?

So I wrote back:

Quote:

When you're ready to start discussing your future, reply to this, and don't be a girly-man.

I don't know if he'll be back... I hope so.

Posted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 11:31 pm

Thanks for making me spray red wine all over my laptop. Laughing

Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 4:10 am

Thanks for a big laugh, Yastreb! Laughing

Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 11:06 am

Cool. I got my Cammie fix for the weekend. Now i need to wipe up coffee again. lol Laughing

Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 11:11 am

Actually that was Mal, not Cammy. But I'm glad you enjoyed the show.

Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 5:37 pm

They may not be identical twins biologically speaking, but they were bourn of the same mind.

Thanks Yastreb for the regular laughs. Very Happy

Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 8:06 pm

He came back, and things entered a new phase after some back-and forth...

Peace (10:50 PM): Frankly speaking i do not think i can contact ny other person because broadcasting my funds might lead to stting me up where i am with my boxes so this is why i need just you sir since you have heard about it already
Mal (10:51 PM): You were telling me about the engineers.
Peace (10:54 PM): Oh sir how i wish you can just consider me and then take me as your biological son so i can have a better life again
Peace (10:54 PM): Please help me sir help me
Mal (10:54 PM): Tell me about the engineers!
Peace (10:56 PM): Sir, i met with the Director in Charge of the Engineering company because i was advised by the receptionist of the hotel not to meet any road side engineer but registerred and a bigger firm where if anything happens wrong they can been arrested
Peace (10:56 PM): I met with Engineer Peter Koffi the Director of the African Union Chemicals and Engineering Firm
Mal (10:57 PM): Go on.
Peace (10:57 PM): I showed him just a sample of a $100 note but didn't let him know where i was until he sid this is no problem but a security stains that can be removed with what he called SODIUM GLUTAMATE
Peace (10:59 PM): But he never told me the price he insisted he must speak to a matured man because their Chemicals department will not sell such chemical for a young man like me unless i hard guardian nor even someone to call father no mater how far the person stays and because i do not want to be betrayed nor even get set up i decided never to ask for anybody's help here in Ghana because am afaraid
Peace (11:00 PM): I just want to do this secretly with you and until you receive the total funds no one will ever hear about it but my hope is that you should send me invitation letter or come to Ghana to take me over after we clean the funds
Mal (11:01 PM): What else did he say?
Peace (11:02 PM): Hello sir
Peace (11:02 PM): are you getting it???
Mal (11:03 PM): Yeah, but what else did the engineer say?
Peace (11:04 PM): Hello sir
Mal (11:05 PM): What else did the engineer say?
Peace (11:06 PM): He didn't say anything more he just said if the Chemical can be bought then my funds will be clean and spendable in 5Hours
Peace (11:06 PM): But the Issue is whom to contact and discuss to him man to man
Peace (11:07 PM): and then we know the price for the Chemical
Mal (11:07 PM): Did he say where he was going to get the Sodium Glutamate?
Peace (11:08 PM): What he said was that their Chemicals are direct from the Chemical Department of World Bank in Switzerland and that they already have a lot of product but the one needed for my cleansing he told me about
Peace (11:10 PM): was the Sodium Glutamate Sir
Peace (11:10 PM): So now i just want to get permission from you and guarantee you will help me before i can review or take the boxes to the Company
Mal (11:12 PM): You can get sodium glutamate from any Chinese Restaurant.
Peace (11:13 PM): Hello sir is there anything left you wan to confirm from me???
Mal (11:13 PM): What?
Peace (11:14 PM): I mean do you still have any more question for me???
Mal (11:15 PM): Do you understand what I'm telling you?
Peace (11:15 PM): Sir what i want you to help me do is confirm from the Engineer what it will take for the currency to be cleaned

I was chatting with SlapHappy at the same time, and had a sudden idea for an alternate cleaning solution...

Mal (11:16 PM): Coca-cola.
Peace (11:16 PM): I truly need your help sir because if my days in the hotel expires i can't carry along my boxes all over Ghana it's dangerous
Mal (11:16 PM): I'm serious. Coca-cola.
Peace (11:17 PM): what is Coca-Cola???
Mal (11:17 PM): Oh come on!
Peace (11:17 PM): I do not understand please?
Mal (11:17 PM): Everyone knows Coca Cola!
Peace (11:18 PM): Sir, i do not know what you mean by Coca-Cola
Peace (11:18 PM): But please let me know if you will help me or not
Peace (11:19 PM): because my case is very critical and i guess you will help your own son if he is in this situation
Mal (11:19 PM): You are frakking kidding me!
Mal (11:19 PM): Coke is EVERYWHERE!
Peace (11:19 PM): How am i kidding you
Mal (11:20 PM): You are seriously telling me that you've never heard of Coca Cola???????
Peace (11:20 PM): Yes but don't know what you mean by Coca-Cola because it's not concerning what we were discussing
Mal (11:21 PM): Yes it is very relevant. It's a great cleaning agent.
Peace (11:21 PM): So you mean Coca-Cola will clean the funds????
Mal (11:21 PM): LEOs use it to clean off bloodstains. In the Corps we used it for bloodstains, chemical spillages, and powder burns.
Peace (11:22 PM): This is a security stain in currency sir
Mal (11:22 PM): Hell, in Iraq we used Coke to clean off a stash of US dollars we seized from a terrorist cache.
Peace (11:22 PM): Anyways i can't argue while i haven't tried it
Mal (11:22 PM): Those stains are no big deal if you know how.
Peace (11:23 PM): I will try using it but i know this is not the solution because if it is then i have no more problem to worry about
Peace (11:24 PM): So there is no need of you contacting the engineer anymore
Mal (11:24 PM): What the Sam Frick did you just say>
Peace (11:24 PM): If that be the case i will try Coca-COLA
Mal (11:25 PM): You do that. I guarantee success. And not Pepsi or Diet Coke or Coke Zero. The real stuff.
Peace (11:25 PM): Okay thanks for the ideal
Peace (11:25 PM): and i will be very happy if Coca-Cola can remove the security Ink stains
Mal (11:26 PM): You'll breeze through. Maybe a couple ot two-liter bottles per case?
Peace (11:27 PM): No i will try just one bottle of Coca-Cola on a $100 note because i do not want to spoil or destroy my funds myself otherwise i will suffer
Mal (11:28 PM): It'll work, trust me. Not too much; dab it on with a sponge and rub briskly.
Peace (11:28 PM): Thank you very much sir God bless you for this wonderful Ideal
Peace (11:28 PM): I will try it today without wasting time
Mal (11:29 PM): Shiny. I'll be along later; it's time I was asleep. By this time tomorrow your cash will be as new, if a little bit sticky.
Peace (11:30 PM): Sir, if it works i will immediately as you to give me names or even your banking details so i can gt funds transferred to you
Mal (11:30 PM): No if here. When!
Peace (11:31 PM): I mean it and i will do it
Mal (11:31 PM): Fine. Gotta go now.
Peace (11:31 PM): If this works authomatically you becomes my beneficiary but first i must know if you can receive the funds into your account

And this morning:

Quote:

THANKS FOR THE WONDERFUL AND A BRILLIANT IDEAL AND TOMORROW I GUESS I WILL BE HAPPIER AFTER USING THE COCA-COLA.
THANKS.

insults and more · Posted: Mon Feb 14, 2011 5:40 am

Quote:

Peace (11:23 PM): I will try using it but i know this is not the solution because if it is then i have no more problem to worry about

This may be the entire basis of lad psychology.

419Eater is my life Joined: 29 Sep 2010 Posts: 407

leonsumbitches wrote:

This may be the entire basis of lad <strike>psychology</strike> stupidity

Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 8:46 pm

Did you just talk with another guy during the second chat session? Felt like it

Hilarious. Very Happy

Interesting script.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 19 Oct 2010 Posts: 77

awesome chats - thanks for the lawls! Laughing

Posted: Thu Feb 17, 2011 10:08 am

Things Didn't Go Right:

Quote:

You would have told you you never want to help me nor even have the mind of helping because i have damaged $300 out of my funds now because of your fake advise and lying to me in stead of telling me a simple ''YES'' or ''NO'' i can't help you.
Please forget about all this because i have seen you never wanted to help me otherwise where on eat can Coca-Cola clean currency?

Mal wasn't going to wear that:

Quote:

It's not my fault if you used some cheap generic brand instead of the Real Thing. I told you, but no, you wouldn't listen.

That didn't go down well!

Quote:

STOP WHAT YOU ARE SAYING AND HAVE IT KNOWN TODAY THAT COCA-COLA IS COCA-COLA AND THERE IS NOTHING LIKE FAKE IN IT BECAUSE COCA-COLA HAS NO OTHER COMPANY IMITATING THEN UNLESS YOU HAVE SOME IN YOUR COUNTRY BUT HERE IN AFRICA WE HAVE NO FAKE COCA-COLA SO FORGET ABOUT THIS STORY AND FLASH BACK IF APART FROM THE BLOOD STAINS YOU TOLD ME ABOUT YOU HAVE EVER USED COCA-COLA FOR STAIN MONEY AND HOW DID YOU COME ACROSS STAIN MONEY BECAUSE ANY MONEY WITH SECURITY STAMP MUST BE OVER A MILLION DOLLARS FOR HIGH SECURITY PURPOSE BECAUSE HAT IS A HUGE AMOUNT OF MONEY OKAY, SO IF YOU ARE HELPING ME LET ME KNOW OR FORGET ABOUT IT BECAUSE I HAVE MY STAIN MONEY AND YOU HAVE YOUR $750 BECAUSE I CAN NOT KEEP FOLLOWING WORDS THAT ARE NOT TRUTH TO SPOIL MY FUTURE O IF YOU HELPING ME LET ME KNOW BUT IF NOT WE BETTER STOP SENDING EACH OTHER MAILS BECAUSE IT WONT DO ANY GOOD AND WILL BE WASTE OF TIME.
HAVE A GOOD DAY SIR.

I don't think this will soothe his mood:

Quote:

Buddy, I told you where I came across stained money - in Iraq during Operation Iraqi Freedom; you wouldn't believe how much cash Saddam stockpiled. A lot of it was stained with dye or blood or rust, and Coca-Cola was the preferred cleaning agent. I ain't jiving you, kiddo.

Posted: Thu Feb 17, 2011 10:58 am

Tell him to use rubbing alcohol next time, it's more expensive.

Posted: Thu Feb 17, 2011 11:38 am

Quote:

i have damaged $300 out of my funds now

Quote:

where on eat can Coca-Cola clean currency?

He guessed it himself - at Eater! Very Happy

Quote:

HERE IN AFRICA WE HAVE NO FAKE COCA-COLA

'Tis true. Nothing in Africa is fake.

Fantastic job, Yas! Very Happy

insults and more · Posted: Thu Feb 17, 2011 11:58 am

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_money_scam#Chemicals_used

Apparently kool-aid would work as well.

Posted: Thu Feb 17, 2011 4:39 pm

Cam & Mal, adding real pain to lad chats since 2006!!
Always great reads!

Posted: Fri Feb 18, 2011 10:25 pm

Well, he does seem to have calmed down:

Quote:

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THE ADVISE BUT I CAN NOT DO IT ANYMORE SINCE I BELIEVE YOUR STAIN WAS VERY DEFRENT FROM MINE BECAUSE YOU DID IT AND SUCCEED BUT I DID MINE AND LOST $300 DOLLAR AND WHAT THEY NEED FOR MY CLEANING IS LEFT LITTLE TO BE COMPLETED BECAUSE ALL THEY SAID WAS IF WE CAN EVEN GET $550 THE WILL HAVE THE TOTAL FUNDS CLEANED.

SO PLEASE FORGET IF YOU CAN'T HELP ME OK BECAUSE IF YOU COME ACROSS STAIN MONEY DEFINITELY NOT LIKE MINE SO I CAN WASTE MY DOLLARS FOR EXPENSIVE JOKES PLEASE FORGET ME DO NOT HELP ME ANYMORE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO AM OK AND FINE BECAUSE I BELIEVE THERE IS NOTHING GOD CAN'T DO..

If there's nothing God can't do, what am I doing for him then?

Quote:

Based on the image that you sent me, the stain looked like nothing much. That's why Coke seemed an obvious solution.
I should have asked this before, but who stained the money?

Still on track, I hope...

Posted: Fri Feb 18, 2011 10:56 pm

Yastreb wrote:

YOU DID IT AND SUCCEED BUT I DID MINE AND LOST $300 DOLLAR

I hope he's not lying. Laughing

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sat Feb 19, 2011 12:38 am

Well, if Coca-Cola ruined his bills, then they must have been forgeries! Coke never ruins genuine currency. Someone must have slipped him counterfeits!

Surely, he is smart enough to know that after the Coke-cleaning, rinsing in cool mountain water will remove the stickiness, too? Smile

Posted: Sat Feb 19, 2011 1:51 am

morning all. well if the cola ruined his $300 do you think he has a case for suing the coca cola company for damages? Laughing

Posted: Sat Feb 19, 2011 11:08 am

SlapHappy wrote:

rinsing in cool mountain water will remove the stickiness

You got that wrong. Cool Mountain Dew, on the other hand....

Posted: Sun Feb 20, 2011 8:04 pm

Just this morning...

Quote:

I GUESS YOU DIDN'T LOOK AT THE NOTE WELL BECAUSE THERE IS A INK STAMP AT THE REVERSED SIDE OF THE NOTE BEFORE ONLY GOD KNOWS WHAT OTHER STAIN IS ATTACHED IN FRONT OF THE NOTES TOO BUT THIS STAINS WAS DESCRIBED AS A SECURITY STAIN THAT CAN BE REMOVED WITH ONLY CHEMICALS FROM THE WORD BANK WHICH THEY HAVE IN STORE FOR SALES AND ALSO HE MADE ME BELIEVE ON THE DAY OF PACKAGING THE FUNDS WAS PROTECTED AGAINST STEALING SINCE MY FATHER HAS ENOUGH THAN WHAT HE TAKES TO GET HIS FUNDS CLEANED ANYTIME HE FEELS LIKE PLANNING FOR THEM UNTIL HIS SUDDEN DEATH BEFORE BEFORE I GOT ACCESS FOR THE BOXES BECAUSE MY FAHER'S BROTHERS WANTED TO TAKE MY LIFE BECAUSE OF MY OWN RIGHT SO THIS IS WHY I MADE WAY TO GHANA UNTIL I NOTICED THE WHOLE CURRENCY WAS PROTECTED SO THIS IS TRUE AND NEVER LIE BECAUSE IF THE STAINS ARE THAT EASY THE COCA-COLA WOULDN'T HAVE DAMAGED MY $300 AND IF NOT FOR THE URGENT HELP I NEED I WOULDN'T HAVE TRIED IT BECAUSE ON MONDAY MY HOTEL BILLS EXPIRES AND I HAVE NO MONEY TO PAY UNLESS I LIE TO HOPE IF YOU WILL HELP ME PAY THE ENGINEERS SO WE HAVE THIS FUNDS CLEANED OTHER WISE I WILL RUNAWAY FROM THE HOTEL TO A TYPICAL VILLAGE IN OTHER NOT TO BE DISGRACED BY THE HOTEL AUTHORITY AND ALSO HAVE MY BOXES SEIZED.

Just for reference, here's the image he sent:

Mal had an idea:

Quote:

All that I can see wrong with that note is on the one side - stain and stamp alike.
I have a suggestion; why not offer the engineers a percentage of the notes cleaned? Even one percent of twenty million in hundreds should get them working hard.

When this Lad loses it the Cap Lock comes off now:

Quote:

I am not as stupid as what you are trying to say but at the same time the company has rules that govern them so i wouldn't have the right to even speak that again, because the company does not belong to a one body, and even if i have the thought about it before and even more % than you think and they kicked me off so if you have any trusted person here, that can accept that why wont i work with them because the truth is that i can not work against myself because all i need is for my money to be cleaned so i can be happy again so if you hate that man choose for me.

So Mal threw back:

Quote:

I don't think that you're stupid but those engineers certainly are. Still, that's not for me to wonder at.
Since I don't know anyone in that part of the world I can't recommend anyone to you.

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