"I AM NEITHER YOUR HUSBAND NOR YOUR DRIVER"

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Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 8:06 pm

Cammy told a lawyer Lad that her bank manager had told her that "Anti-Money Laundry Certificates" didn't exist. After a couple of exchanges, this epic diatribe turned up (emphasis added):

Quote:

DEAR CLIENT MS. WHITE,

GOOD MORNING. I DON`T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND ME. OUR OLD ADAGE IN BURKINA FASO STATES THAT "TRUTH IS BITTER, BUT TRUTH ALWAYS WIN". EVEN THOUGH YOU HATE TRUTH BUT I WILL CONTINUE TO SAY THE TRUTH TO YOU. A GOOD CHRISTIAN RESPECTS HIS OR HER PROMISES. A GOOD CHRISTIAN DOES NOT BETRAY HER WORDS. A GOOD CHRISTIAN SAY "YES" AND IT IS HONESTLY 'YES'. I DO NOT CARE IF YOU LOVE THE TRUTH OR ADOPT HONESTY AS THE ONLY WAY AND SOLUTION TO ALL LIFE PROBLEMS. FOR SEVERAL WEEKS, YOU THINK THAT I AM YOUR HOUSE HELP OR DOMESTIC SERVANT WHOM YOU CAN SEND ON EVERY ERRANDS. I FEEL PITY TO MR.MUSA WHO WILL LOOSE EVERYTHING BECAUSE THE BANK HAVE THEIR OWN RULES TO HANDLE INHERITANCE MATTERS. IN YOUR PREVIOUS LETTER, YOU HAVE ADVISED ME TO WAIT FOR THE PAYMENT BUT YOU FAILED. YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU TRANSFERRED MONEY TO THE GIVEN BANK ACCOUNT BUT I CHECKED AND THERE WAS NO MONEY SEND BY YOU.

I CONTINUE DEFENDING THE TRANSACTION WHICH YOU KNOW THAT YOU DID NOT RESPECT ITS REGULATIONS. YOU ALWAYS WANT TO PUSH PEOPLE AROUND AND SEND THEM ON YOUR ERRANDS.. IF YOU WANT, YOU CAN COMPLY TO THE REGULATIONS BUT IF YOU FEEL THAT YOU ARE GOD AND CAN DO EVERYTHING YOU WANT WITHOUT RESPECTING THE LAWS OF BURKINA FASO, THEN I WISH YOU GOOD LUCK. I TOLD YOU THAT YOUR BANK MANAGER IS NOT A LAWYER AND HAVE NO IDEA OF THE DOCUMENTS BUT YOU REFUSED TO OBEY MY ADVICE. I HAVE BEEN GOING TO THE COURT AND BANK WITH MY TRANSPORT FEE AND I NEVER ASK YOU FOR MY CONSULTATION FEE BUT YOU ARE THERE ASKING ME QUESTIONS.

WHEN SOMEONE DOES NOT RESPECT HIS / HER WORDS AND PROMISES, WE CALL SUCH PERSON A LIAR. WE CALL THAT A BETRAYAL OF TRUST. YOU HAD CONTINUED TO PUSH ME ALL ROUND AND MAKING A LIER BEFORE THE BANK DIRECTORS BECAUSE I PROMISED TO TENDER THE DOCUMENTS THIS WEEK ON YOUR BEHALF. YOU HAD CONTINUED TO BETRAY MR. MUSA AND YOU MADE HIM TO BELEIVE YOU BUT YOU NEVER PAY THE FEES INSTEAD EXCUSE OF YOUR BANK MANAGER ASK YOU NOT TO PAY.

I HAD DEDICATED MY TIME AND ENERGY TO HELP YOU REALIZE THE INHERITANCE PROJECT, BUT YOU FALLS SHORT OF THE LOCAL REGULATION AND CONDITIONS; THEREFORE YOU CANNOT EXPECT ME TO PERFORM MAGIC BECAUSE I AM NOT A MAGICIAN. YOU MUST NOT FORGET THAT THE BANK HAS A RIGHT TO REQUEST ANY OFFICIALLY REGISTERED DOCUMENTS WHICH SHOULD SHOW EVIDENCE THAT YOU ARE A COUSIN TO THE DECEASED MAN. THE DEATH CERTIFICATE AND THE AFFIDAVIT OF CLAIM ARE VERY IMPORTANT.

I HAVE TOLD YOU AND I AM TELLING YOU AGAIN THAT YOU HAVE NOT BEEN DEPENDABLE, RELIABLE AND HONEST TO THIS CHAMBER IN THIS TRANSACTION, BUT I CANNOT DISTURBED AGAIN. I AM NEITHER YOUR HUSBAND NOR YOUR DRIVER, SO YOU SHOULD NOT BE TELLING ME WHAT TO DO, HOW TO DO IT AND MANIPULATE ME TO BREAK THE LAWS OF MY OWN COUNTRY. YOU MAY CONTINUE TO BREAK YOUR LAWS AND LIVE DISHONEST LIFE BUT IT IS NO LONGER MY PROBLEM....IN AS MUCH AS YOU DO NOT SEND ME ON ERRANDS LIKE YOUR DOMESTIC HELPER.

IF YOU LIKE, SEND THE FEE AS I DIRECTED YOU OR FORGET IT.

He doesn't give Cammy much room to move...

Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 8:10 pm

If Cammy proposed marriage, would that make everything all right? Poor guy.

Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 9:29 pm

It sounds like his heart was set on that cash coming in on time.

Maybe he owes somebody.

Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 11:05 pm

Personally I would respond that someone wanting to be married so badly is only out for my huge fortune. I like to save html pages of a real online bank account, edit the html to change the account numbers, and make balance in the multimillions. like this

This changes a lads mind REAL quick.

Otherwise, agree to send the money for real. And to make sure it goes through, ask for the account information so you can go through your bank, which you trust. Then send it to alan, hope it closes, and see how long you can go.
I usually try to get the account information first, send to alan, then dabble with WU and MG. It's funny when later on you try Wire Transfer again and they say they can't.

insults and more · Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 11:19 pm

^^^ Opera lets you edit pages in real time right out of the box, with an edit button available when viewing source. Firefox has plugins allowing this as well.

I'm thinking about using this modality to show a lad his fake bank has been hacked, or to make up news articles. The problem is that they may catch on and use it themselves.

ETA: consider what a lad could recycle that screenshot for.

Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 11:22 pm

you can write messages on that picture like
"FOR YOU BARRISTER JOHN" covering most of the site. Wink

insults and more · Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 11:30 pm

^^^ I would be hesitant to give a lad even the idea that I know how to use an image manipulation program.

Better would be to edit a WU/MG or bank money transfer page to appear as if one has sent the money to a specific lad. I'm sure a lad could still try reusing it, but it would definitely be less susceptible.

Posted: Thu Feb 17, 2011 2:51 am

Cammy always brings out the best in the lads. Fabulous Very Happy

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