How much for the little girl? (NSFW)

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Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 10:18 am

Lachesis wrote:

Quote:

Am thinking of trying for a safari. Lad is using Gmail, but claims to be in Burkina faso. I am looking for a believable country for my client to be from. 92 year old Albert, a leftover from colonialism, who still believes his country is a British colony. Suggestions???

Are you sure its too late to rename him Silvio Berlusconi?

...Ouch. Just.... OUCH Very Happy

Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 10:22 pm

Silvio Berlusconi... he he he Shocked

I get this back from Isaac:

Quote:

Chris I await your response from your client.

Dr.Isack Amoah

Chris sends this and hints that Albert may be a serial killer:

Quote:

Issac,

I have gone through my databaseasnd have found a client for you. Now let me stress this is no ordinary client. Albert Fish is relatively local to you, living currently in Kenya, though I may be able to get him to meet you half way since this is your first assignment. Albert is my biggest repeat client, so no matter how dotty he may seem you are to treat him with the utmost respect.

Most of my clients will get back to me every few years, usually once the stock becomes 18 and above. Good clients will get back to me every year, usually after they have worn the stock down. Albert gets back to me every few WEEKS, and recently he has tired of, how shall I put it? The white meat. I have emailed him th photos of Susan and he is very excited at the prospect of owning her.

Now think about this VERY carefully. From memory susan is related to a friend of yours, and if that is so you'll need to think carefully. On the one hand you will receive a lot of cash for her. On the other, you and your friend will nevber see this girl again, and I suspect her lifespan will be measured in days, not years. I don't know what Albert does with his stock, but he certainly goes through them very quickly. And for the record I do not want to know where he dumps the bodies, he goes through a lot of them.

Have a think about this, and get back to me. If you agree, then I will let him know and he will email you back with delivery details.

Good luck Isaac,

Chris

I wonder which Country will be "halfway"??? Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 10:27 pm

Halfway between Kenya and Burkina faso, right?

i'd say Chad or Central African Republic

Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 10:31 pm

Is Chad still a war torn hell? Maybe that's the go...

Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 10:43 pm

The ditz gets this back. So far, laddo hasn't twigged that her emails and chris's are only a few minutes apart:

Quote:

Sehr geehrte Kathrin,

Wie pro meine Worte, ich habe Entwurf des Briefes an die Bank und auch die rechtlichen Dokumente beigefügt. Sie befinden sich jetzt beraten und lesen Sie die erforderlichen Teil des Briefes gefüllt und senden es an die Banken E-Mail Adresse zur Verfügung gestellt. Füllen Sie es aus, scannen Sie es aus, unterschreiben Sie es und schicken Sie es zurück an die Bank mit der Urkunde.

Ich schätze auch Ihre Bemühungen zu helfen, die Tochter des Mrs.Rita Karim, aber ich werde den Hinweis, dass Sie sowohl die Gold-und der Fonds, weil sie alle gehört Susan Karim, der Tochter und ihr Anspruch muss auch mit ihm zu investieren, um die ordnungsgemäße nehmen gut Betreuung der Tochter. Bitte versuchen Sie es und füllen diese Informationen in das Anmeldeformular aus und senden es an die Bank über ihre E-Mail-Adresse [email protected]
Denken Sie daran, mich auf alles, was auf geht zwischen Ihnen und der Bank zu aktualisieren.

Noch einmal vielen Dank für Ihre Mitarbeit und Ehrlichkeit.

Dr.Isack Amoah

Comes out of Google translate as:

Quote:

Dear Kathy,

As per my words, I have enclosed draft of the letter to the bank and the legal documents. You are now advised to read the necessary part of the letter filled and send it to the bases e-mail address provided. Fill it out, scan it out, sign it and send it back to the bank with the instrument.

I appreciate your efforts to help the daughter of Mrs.Rita , but I will advice that you both the gold and the funds, because they all Susan, the daughter and her claim must be heard to invest with him To take proper care of the good daughter. Please try and fill this information in the registration form and send it to the bank via their e-mail address [email protected]

Remember to update me on everything that goes on between you and the bank.

Thanks again for your cooperation and honesty.

Dr.Isack

The Ditz doesn't get a word of it:

Quote:

Lieber Isaak,

Ich verstehe nicht was du meinst. Was ist ein Scan? Welche Bank redest du? wie gesagt, ich bin reich genug, brauche ich nicht zu viel mit Ihrer Bank, ich will nur Susan helfen.

Aber wenn es bedeutet, habe ich alles zu tun, diese dann werde ich fürchte, ich kann dir nicht helfen bin, da ich nicht sehr technisch orientiert bin und nicht weiß, was du redest.

Kathrin

Originally typed as:

Quote:

Dear Isaac,

I do not understand what you mean. What is a scan? Which bank are you talking about? as I said, I am wealthy enough, I do not need to deal with your bank, I just want to help Susan.

But if it means I have to do all this then I am afraid I cannot help you, since I am not very technically orientated and do not know what you are talking about.

Kathrin

Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 10:50 pm

Your thinking of Darfur (Sudan) Which is the next closest country to Kenya, so its a bit more of a trek, but god sending a lad there would be hillarious.

Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 12:01 am

I thought Chad was at war with Libya (or is that over now)??? Anyhoo, I just want this lad to suffer, but make him think he's not

419Eater is my life Joined: 01 Oct 2008 Posts: 349

Is there a chance he would be bringing a child on his Safari to make delivery?

Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 12:47 am

Albert's not paying a damn cent if he isn't Wink

But since I suspect there is NO child, I seriously have my doubts

Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 12:37 pm

Seems my message about Susan got to him. Nothing sent to Chris, but the Ditz gets this back. Under the Subject heading of "Bitte sorgfältig lesen und verstehen den Inhalt" or "Please carefully read and understand the contents":

Quote:

Sehr geehrte Kathrin,

Ihre Mail-Inhalte gut verstanden, aber was ich versuche zu sagen ist, dass Mrs.Rita hat instrusted mich Ihnen sagen, dass, ja Sie sind wohlhabend, aber sie braucht Sie zu diesem Fonds und Gold für die sichere Aufbewahrung ihrer Tochter zu erhalten, so dass, wenn sie wächst sie verwenden können, dass Geld und Gold und bis Beginn ihres persönlichen Geschäft.

Sie ist ersuchenden diese von Ihnen nur helfen, ihre Tochter zu dem Fonds erhalten, weil ihre Tochter ist sehr jung, um solche Menge an Geld und Gold zu steuern. Bitte im Namen des allmächtigen Gottes, ich verehre, ich entschuldige mich, dass Sie diesen Vorschlag annehmen und erhalten den Fonds, so dass Susan reisen können und kommen, um mit Ihnen zu bleiben.

Bitte wegen der, dass ich bereit ein Bewerbungsschreiben für Sie zur Bank für die sofortige Übertragung von diesen Fonds in Ihr Konto zu senden. Wir bitten Sie füllen die Informationen und schicken Sie an die Bank mit der Bank-E-Mail [email protected]

Aktualisieren Sie einfach uns in jedem Gespräch, das geht wird zwischen Ihnen und der Bank.

Vielen Dank für Ihre vorausschauende und Akzeptanz des Vorschlags von Frau Rita

Dr.Isack und Mrs.Rita

Which popped into Google Translate came out as:

Quote:

Dear Kathy,

Your mail content well understood, but what I'm trying to say is that Mrs.Rita instrusted me has to say to you that, yes you are wealthy, but she needs you to the fund and gold for the safe custody of their daughter to receive, so that when they grow they can use that money and gold and to start their own business.

She is requesting this help from you only get her daughter to the fund, because their daughter is very young to manage such an amount of money and gold. Please in the name of Almighty God I worship, I apologize that you will accept this proposal andreceive the fund , so that Susan can travel and come to stay with you .

Please because of that I am willing to send a letter to you to the bank for immediate transfer of this fund into your account. We ask you to fill in the information and send to the bank with the bank's e-mail [email protected]

Just update us in every conversation that goes between you and the bank.

Thank you for your foresight and acceptance of the proposal by Mrs Rita

Dr.Isack and Mrs.Rita

Will edit in a reply momentrily. And the reply goes like this:

Quote:

Lieber Isaak,

Ich bin ernst, wenn ich sage, ich brauche dein Geld. Wenn ich zu Susan erheben wäre, würde ich sie als meine eigene Tochter zu erhöhen, da ich nie Kinder gehabt haben, und es ist eines der wenigen bedauert ich im Leben habe.

Ich wollte ihr in ihr Geschäft, wenn sie fertig ist, würde ich sie Kurse zu finanzieren, was sie nehmen, um sie glücklich machen würde. Sie sehen also, Isaac, brauche ich nicht dieses Geld redest du zu halten. Lassen Sie mich wissen, wie ich sie ergreifen, wenn.

Kathrin

Typed into Google translate as:

Quote:

Dear Isaac,

I am serious when I say I do not need your money. If I was to raise Susan, I would raise her as my own daughter since I have never had children and it is one of the few regrets I have in life.

I would set her up in her business when she is ready, I would fund her courses, anything it would take to make her happy. So you see Isaac, I do not need this money you keep talking about. Let me know how I can adopt her and when.

Kathrin

Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 3:09 pm

You can ask whether their country is a signatory to the Hague Convention on International Adoption (some are, some aren't) and require an interview between her and a social worker to find out what Susan herself feels about adoption.

Posted: Thu Feb 17, 2011 11:24 pm

@ Ezio... Ooooh, nice one! I'll work that in somehow

In the meantime Isaac has agreed. seems I'm going have to work harder to push this lad's gross out buttons:

Quote:

Dear Chris,

Accepted and lets proceed.

Game on, MOLES! My reply: Twisted Evil

Quote:

Isaac,

Mate! I knew you wer cold, but that's icicles! Fantastic, I will email our client immediately and he will get in touch shortly (sooner rather than later I suspect, it's been two MONTHS since his last purchase)

Chris

Posted: Fri Feb 18, 2011 12:02 am

The Ditz gets this back. Intriguingly, I also get a pic of susan with what is presumed to be Mum. Chris never got that happysnap:

Quote:

Sehr geehrte Kathrin,
Vielen Dank für Ihre Mail und bin wirklich leid, was dir passieren, vielleicht auch der allmächtige Gott liegt diese mit Ihnen geschehen, so dass Susan können Ihre Tochter sein. Unterdessen ich möchte Sie auf den Application Letter herunterzuladen, füllen Sie die erforderlichen Stellen und an die Bank mit den beiden Zertifikat.
Wenn die Bank genehmigen das Anmeldeformular, werden sie dem Fonds auf Sie übertragen und dann werde ich bei der Vorbereitung der Dokumente Annahme von Susan hier in Ihrem Namen, so dass, wenn alles abgeschlossen ist können Sie jetzt hier reisen, um mein Land für sie.
Ich habe ein Bild von ihr, und das Bewerbungsschreiben sowie die beiden Bescheinigung beigefügt. Dies ist die Bank E-Mail Adresse [email protected]
Bitte kontaktieren Sie mich sofort senden Sie die Bewerbung an die Bank, so dass ich anfangen mit diesen zu Susan und ihrer Mutter zu besprechen.
Dank
Dr.Isack

Which came out of Google translate as:

Quote:

Dear Kathy,
Thank you for your mail and am truly sorry for what happen to you, maybe God Almighty this is done with you so that Susan can be your daughter. Meanwhile, I would like to download the Application Letter, fill in the required places and to the bank with the two certificate.
If approved, the bank application form, they will transfer the fund to you and then I will prepare the documents adopted by Susan here in your name so that when everything is complete, you can now here to stay for my country for them.
I have enclosed a picture of her, and a cover letter and the two endorsements. This is the bank email address [email protected]
Please contact me immediately you send the application to the bank, so I start with this to Susan and her mother talk about.
Thanks
Dr.Isack

Will edit in a reply when I think of one. My reply:

Quote:

Lieber Isaak,

Warum Sie die Fahrt über dieses Geld? Mein Geschäft gemacht viermal so allein im letzten Jahr! Ich habe gesagt, dass ich unabhängig bin reich, ich habe also keine Notwendigkeit, diese Bank zu kontaktieren. Und wenn Sie es erwähnen wieder, werde ich dir nicht helfen.

Bitte schaut Susan so süß, ich liebe sie zu adoptieren.

Kathrin

Originally typed as:

Quote:

Dear Isaac,

Why do you keep going on about this money? My business made four times that last year alone! I have said before that I am independently wealthy, so I have no need to contact this bank. And if you mention it again, I will not help you.

Please, Susan looks so sweet, I would love to adopt her.

Kathrin

Posted: Fri Feb 18, 2011 6:53 pm

The Ditz gets this back:

Quote:

Dear Kathrin,

Thanks for your mail and i have discuss this with the girl's mother Mrs. Rita , who has accepted your offer because she does not want her only daughter to suffer one day in her life. She is only trusting you for your words and please try and fulfil them as well.

Upon conclussion, this is an international adoption and can not be done by me because i does not owned the girl, the mother does, and the present situation of the Mother will not allow her to visit the Supreme High Court of Justice to get things done and therefore i will advice that you contact a lawyer here in Burkina Faso to help you prepare this adoption documents here so that when they are complete you can then come down here for her if possible with you.

I have look through the net and through the government directory and notice that the best Lawyer so far in Burkina Faso here that everybody believes him is Hon.Mike Mokhari who is the owner of Mike Mokhari Chambers and the Vice President of the Burkina Faso Chambers Of Lawyers Union (BFCOLU). The website is www.bfcolu.com and the private email address of the lawyer is [email protected] I will advice that you contact him with the address provided and the certificate of Susan attached as well as the international Passport of her Mother to explain the present situation. Upon doing this I believe that the Lawyer will come after Mrs.Rita at the Yagadou General Hospital Burkina Faso for more inquire for which we will explain more further to his understanding.

Rita and I have also spoken to the Girl about you and she has accepted but we still require your picture to show her.

Kindly open the attached documents and do as said to help us complete this within Next Week because the Mother does not want her daughter to witness her death.

The Address:

Mrs.Rita
Yagadou General Hospital
Ward # 17 Room # 3
Ouagadougou
Burkina Faso

Thanks and await your response.

Dr.Isack .

I left the links in. what do you guys think? Is the site for real? I have no doubts that the lawyer will be our lad, but it IS a nicely designed site

here · Posted: Sat Feb 19, 2011 10:01 am

my call is the website is a scam - above average effort I agree

the profile your lawyer "HON. MIKE MOKHARI" doesn't add up, the guy picture looks far too old for someone who graduated in 1995

the text is also all over the place (check the last paragraph)

Posted: Sat Feb 19, 2011 1:15 pm

I'd go with scam too. The whois for the domain suggests the site only went up 6 days before you received the link and it expires exactly 12 months later.

I think it's fake, a good fake, but fake non the less.

Posted: Mon Feb 21, 2011 10:46 pm

In that case, how do I report it? I've always wanted to have a website kill icon in my siggy Wink

In the meantime, the Ditz gets this back:

Quote:

Dear Kathrin,

How are you today and your family. I have not heard from you for the past days now and i want to know if you have send a message to the Lawyer and what is his response to that.

Thanks and await your urgent response.

Dr.Isack

I think a slap will be in order, since she's said she has no intention of dealing with lawyers. In fact I think I'll slap them for not answering the email I never sent!

Plus Albert and Chris get a response from Albert;

Quote:

Mr.Albert and Chris,

I taught this has already been discuss (virgin) and listen Albert i
does my thing according to the way it will benefit both you and I so
please before drawing your roles and procedures make sure it benefit
both.

Isack

Albert responds. Seems we will meet in Cameroon:

Quote:

Isaac,

I have contacts in Cameroon who will help me take delivery of the stock.
When do you plan to meet me there with the girl? if this works out, I
will pay handsomely for specialist stock. what's the youngest you've
got?

Albert

I have SERIOUS doubts he'll travel, but it'd be nice (for me!) Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 3:15 am

In the meantime, the Ditz slaps the lad for not answering the email she never sent:

Quote:

Isaac,

Ich habe Ihnen gesagt, dass ich kein Englisch sprechen, aber Sie darauf bestehen, mit Englisch, mir zu schreiben. Dann habe ich zu meiner Nichte, um es übersetzen zu bekommen und sie ist nicht glücklich darüber. Bitte sehen Sie von mir schriftlich in Englisch, wenn Sie mich kontaktieren, tun Sie dies bitte in Deutsch, damit ich verstehe, was Sie sagen wollen.

Sie ist auch vorsichtig von euch, und glaubt, daß man eine Art von Betrügern. Sie würden nicht zu mir, würdest du lügen?

Ich muss Ihr Anwalt jetzt zweimal geschrieben, aber noch nichts wieder überhaupt gehört. Ich habe diese nach Ihren Wünschen, und nicht meine. Ihr Anwalt scheint nicht zu wollen, um mit mir zu tun, und so werde ich die Gunst und nicht mehr mit ihm entweder zurück.

Ich habe eine ganz gute Familie Rechtsanwalt namens Werner Klemperer, dessen Firma wurde mit dem Anwalt der Familie seit Generationen.

Ich werde mit ihm umzugehen, wie Ihr Anwalt muss gefeuert werden.

Kathrin

Originally typed as:

Quote:

Isaac,

I have told you that I do not speak English, yet you insist on using English to write to me. I then have to get my niece to translate it and she is not happy about it. Please refrain from writing to me in english, if you wish to contact me, please do it in German so that I may understand what you say.

She is also wary of you, and thinks you are some kind of fraudsters. You would not lie to me would you?

I have written to your lawyer twice now, but have not heard anything back at all. I did this as per your wishes, and not mine. Your lawyer does not seem to want to deal with me, and so I will return the favour and no longer deal with him either.

I have a perfectly good family lawyer by the name of Werner Klemperer, whose firm has been the family lawyer for generations.

I will deal with him, as your lawyer needs to be fired.

Kathrin

People who know know I have soft spot for werner, best known as Colonel klink from Hogan's Heroes. Kaaaaaathriiiinnnnn! Wink

Posted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 3:21 am

This is great! I especially liked the inclusion of Klink.

Posted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 3:40 am

Thank you Gimli, I've always said you can never have enough klink! and I once saw a comedian do the following sketch:

Quote:

Comic stands there, a man dressed as klink walks into the room, and says "Hooooogaaann"!

second man walks in does the same thing with slightly less enthusiasm

Then a third guy comes in and does a completely half hearted attempt at the same thing, to which to the comic responds: "You are the weakest KLINK, goodbye!"

Ahh, Brian Munich and friends Smile

Posted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 12:47 am

I heavn't heard from lad in three days, I suspect he's baulked at the distances involved. I send a fishing email, disguised as a slap:

Quote:

Chris,

I thought you said this guy was a professional? I have heard nothing
from him. Maybe we should just go back to our usual transporter, though
I must admit I DO like the pictures your new man sent us. If I don't
hear anything soon, please drop him and we'll go back to our usual
arrangement

Albert

Bait may be over. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted (though these could be famous last words) Wink

Posted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 10:59 am

The Website is fake. Burkina Faso was a French colony.
The official website of the Ordre d'Avocats du Burkina is www.barreau.bf although it's currently not functioning. I got it off the legal website JuriBurkina, which also has some other interesting links.
Even if the bait goes down, you might as well take a site down with it.

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