Why men are generally much happier than women

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Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 3:52 pm

I lifted this from another forum, but thought it was great!! Very Happy

Quote:

WHY MEN ARE SELDOM DEPRESSED:
Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures . Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.

Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 6:40 pm

Here ya go buddy...

Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 6:56 pm

Quote:

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase

An airline check-in lady in New Zealand asked me, in a very accusing tone, why my rucksac weighed only half as much as those of my two female travelling companions.

'Thats easy' I said 'I have one pair of shoes, and I'm wearing them!'

True story.

Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 6:57 pm

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New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

They don't?

Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 7:08 pm

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such simple creatures

Says it all for me. Crying or Very sad

Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 7:13 pm

It's all true!

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You can play with toys all your life.

Yes, and we all know which 'toy' you prefer... Wink

Having said that, I could spend all day playing with my breasts, so fair do's. Laughing

Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 7:19 pm

I don't get that channel.... Sad

Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 8:43 pm

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You can never be pregnant.

Just as well, cos the human race would die out if men were the ones who gave birth Very Happy

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One mood all the time.

Yeah, right ...one special flexible type mood Cool

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You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

Seriously? It takes men that long?

Great find, Bart. Smile

Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 9:46 pm

i don't want to get into the typical man-woman pointless discussion, but some of the answers just made me mad

Quote:

Just as well, cos the human race would die out if men were the ones who gave birth

that's perhaps one of the worst points you could make in an argument, it's complete bullshit, first of all, one of the reasons women are women it's because they give birth, so stating how it would be the other way round is a good example of ass-backward logic

second, during birth women produce a shitload of endorphines which keeps them from passing out, evolution has selected those who could stay sharp during child birth to keep pushing, so women bragging on about how much they resist the pain would be as if we laughed at dogs for not having opposible thumbs

forgive me if I am beeing to hard

Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 10:19 pm

Well the whole point about all of this is humor (humour) And I think the replys are humor (humour) based. Though I do see your point Lizard King!!

Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 11:24 pm

I have so much ammo I could wipe out Jim Morrison's points, but pointing them out is utterly useless. Laughing

Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 11:34 pm

Mr Tambourine Man wrote:

Quote:

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

They don't?

That was news to me too. Thanks for the valuable information, Bart.

Roycropper wrote:

An airline check-in lady in New Zealand asked me, in a very accusing tone, why my rucksac weighed only half as much as those of my two female travelling companions..

Well, they usually aren't too happy to see me with my backbag and four luggages. Confused

I think I need a man...

Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 1:59 am

bohigal wrote:

Quote:

such simple creatures

Says it all for me. Crying or Very sad

I'd like to ditto this. When my wife ask me how I feel I tell her there is three answers and it is easy to figure out which one is correct by the proccess of elimination.

1) Hungry- How long has it been since I ate?
2) Tired- Is it close to bed time?
3) Horney- I am married with two young kids so this is the default answer.

insults and more · Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 3:25 am

Counterexample: women can still look good in men's clothes. Men look like this in women's clothes:

Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 3:37 am

Sometimes they look like this...

Anybody want to use this photo in a bait?!?

Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 5:55 am

Quote:

Quote:
You can never be pregnant.

Just as well, cos the human race would die out if men were the ones who gave birth

Yeah, yeah childbirth hurts! Not as much as a kick in the nuts. Women go back for more childbirth; have you ever heard a man say he hasn't had enough kicks to the wedding tackle?

Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 6:06 am

But then there is my fav screen image of all time

and I must admit, some men do the side no favours either

Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 8:10 am

Suitcase?Depending on what I am doing,large trash bags have on occasion functioned as suitable luggage.

@Badger-don't think that vest would help him with this

Woman with a Barrett .50-now theres my kind of lady!

Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 10:56 am

GordonBennett wrote:

Quote:

Quote:
You can never be pregnant.

Just as well, cos the human race would die out if men were the ones who gave birth

Yeah, yeah childbirth hurts! I agree! Not as much as a kick in the nuts. Not having nuts, I wouldn't know which is more painful, nor how long the pain associated with a kick in the nuts lasts for Wink

Women go back for more childbirth; Yes, we do ,willingly, we can handle pain Razz

have you ever heard a man say he hasn't had enough kicks to the wedding tackle? No, I don't think I have, although I could imagine a male masochist maybe saying that Laughing

@ Jim Morrison, I was jesting Smile

If men were women, I'm sure they'd cope with childbirth just like we do Wink

Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 4:09 pm

Well it was funny but not always true

Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 8:00 pm

Quote:

Quote:
You can never be pregnant.

Just as well, cos the human race would die out if men were the ones who gave birth

Could be. In the '70s country singer Loretta Lynn released her song "The Pill." She told an interviewer that if men could have children "they wouldn't have but one."