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Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 6:40 am

One of the hazards of Chat is the risk that one day you'll get mixed up... and this happened today.

Two of my chat contacts are "S3ly Love" (claims to be stredded in Brazil with her trunkbox) and "4nita Sexy" (romance scammer, with a trunkbox in the background).

This afternoon, I sent off a less that impressed message to Sely's contact 4nton Frey, who'd sent me a crappy invoice. Then up pops Anita...

----- Our chat on Wed, 26/1/11 3:32 PM -----
AS (2:02 PM): hello
AS (2:02 PM): how are u doing today?
Mal (2:02 PM): Oh hi.
Mal (2:02 PM): Not so well.
AS (2:02 PM): why?
AS (2:02 PM): ur leg right?
Mal (2:03 PM): The doctor called me in today on a public holiday - he was worried about secondary infection with MRSA.
AS (2:04 PM): really?
AS (2:04 PM): oh sorry
AS (2:05 PM): how wich i can be with u to take care of you now?
Mal (2:06 PM): He also needed a urine sample to check how my kidneys are coping with heavy and regular painkillers.
AS (2:07 PM): oh sorry
AS (2:08 PM): go and get marriage
AS (2:08 PM): plz
Mal (2:08 PM): Not sure if I see the link there...
AS (2:09 PM): if even you can,t get marriage to me try and get marriage to some one else okay please i beg you with name of god.........
Mal (2:11 PM): Whoah there, hold on! What's with you? Don't get your nickers in a knot, as they say over here.
AS (2:12 PM): what do you mean?
Mal (2:12 PM): You sounded a bit... over-anxious.
AS (2:13 PM): go and get marriage
AS (2:13 PM): plz plz plz
Mal (2:13 PM): To who?
AS (2:14 PM): you
Mal (2:15 PM): Marry myself? Too-wubba-hoo?
AS (2:16 PM): u mean you will marriage ur self?
Mal (2:17 PM): No I don't!
AS (2:19 PM): when are you going to get marriage?
Mal (2:20 PM): When the right woan comes along...?
Mal (2:20 PM): woman?
AS (2:20 PM): u are old go and get marriage
Mal (2:20 PM): I know that.
AS (2:22 PM): then what is the problem with you now for not getting narriage?
Mal (2:25 PM): Until five years ago I was in no position to. After that, I haven't met the one I want to settle down with. There were some girls it was OK to, well, spend time with, but no to settle down with, like I said.
AS (2:28 PM): i just that the reason why you don,t want get marriage
AS (2:28 PM): ?
Mal (2:28 PM): What?
AS (2:29 PM): just like that
Mal (2:30 PM): I don't get it.
AS (2:30 PM): go and marriage
Mal (2:30 PM): Is that an ORDER?
AS (2:31 PM): no how can you say that?
Mal (2:31 PM): Sounds like it to me!
AS (2:32 PM): no
AS (2:32 PM): but just try plz
Mal (2:32 PM): Not until I'm healthy.
AS (2:33 PM): okay if that is what you want no problem
Mal (2:37 PM): Fine. We have consensus at last.
AS (2:37 PM): haahahha
Mal (2:37 PM): Don't we?
AS (2:38 PM): yes
Mal (2:38 PM): Well then?
AS (2:39 PM): so what next?
Mal (2:40 PM): Well, I suppose I could be a little less aloof towards the local girls...
AS (2:41 PM): why?
Mal (2:41 PM): Then maybe I'd get to know them better; maybe one of them is Ms Right.
AS (2:42 PM): ok
[This is where my attention wandered…]
Mal (2:45 PM): Well, as I wrote you before, that Frey guy is a few rounds short of a full clip.
AS (2:45 PM): i see
Mal (2:46 PM): He sent me an effectively blank invoice.
AS (2:47 PM): who are u talking about?
[Shit! Wrong Lad! Quick, evasive!]
Mal (2:47 PM): Never mind. Someone bugging me a lot. I thought I mentioned him before.
AS (2:48 PM): plz tell me who is that?
Mal (2:49 PM): Guy who claimed I owed him over a tour mixup. You sure I didn't tell you before?
AS (2:50 PM): know
AS (2:50 PM): at where?
Mal (2:51 PM): In one of our chats. He wants $8700 for stuff he claims I promised to supply as part of a tour deal. He's talking out of his ass.
AS (2:52 PM): and how is that?
Mal (2:53 PM): Because he's bullshitting. I made no such promises.
AS (2:53 PM): from where?
AS (2:54 PM): where is that person from?
Mal (2:54 PM): Canada.
AS (2:55 PM): okay
AS (2:55 PM): i told is from ghana
AS (2:55 PM): so what do want to do now?
Mal (2:57 PM): Sorry, what?
AS (2:57 PM): this is bussiness
Mal (2:58 PM): So is that asshole suing me!
AS (2:59 PM): then after you pay that money what are you to get in retoun?
Mal (2:59 PM): I'm not paying because I don't owe Frey a gorram cent.
AS (3:00 PM): really?
AS (3:01 PM): but is business?
Mal (3:01 PM): Really!
AS (3:02 PM): canada
AS (3:02 PM): do you know any body in cannada?
Mal (3:02 PM): No.
Mal (3:03 PM): He was arranging a tour with me that never came off and he claims that I owe him for stuff purchased for the tour but never used/
AS (3:04 PM): just like that?
Mal (3:05 PM): Yeah.
AS (3:05 PM): about from you job you are doing ?
AS (3:05 PM): do you have any other in any where else?
Mal (3:05 PM): I'm a survival instructor and tour guide.
AS (3:07 PM): i know. but do you have any other business in any where else?
Mal (3:07 PM): No.
AS (3:07 PM): not even ghana?
AS (3:08 PM): not even nigeria?
AS (3:08 PM): what about cannada?
Mal (3:10 PM): Of course not.
[I think it worked…]
AS (3:10 PM): what about brazia?
[Or did it?]
Mal (3:11 PM): What?
AS (3:12 PM): i said about brazie?
AS (3:13 PM): i just want to know big people like you have business in every where in the world
[It did – phew!]
Mal (3:13 PM): Big people?
Mal (3:13 PM): Say what?
AS (3:14 PM): don,t know you are big man?
Mal (3:15 PM): I'm a retired US Marine. Please don't talk me up.
AS (3:15 PM): okay
AS (3:16 PM): because we have so mary refugees here in ghana
Mal (3:16 PM): Yeah? Why?
AS (3:18 PM): that are looking for foreign beneficiary that will help them claim there money from deffient places
Mal (3:18 PM): Why are there so many refugees in Ghana?
AS (3:19 PM): am in ghana
Mal (3:20 PM): That's not what I asked.
AS (3:20 PM): but am not a refugee
Mal (3:21 PM): I didn't say you were! You said there were lots of refugees in Ghana and I wondered why.
AS (3:22 PM): yes so you don,t know?
Mal (3:22 PM): No. Why else would I ask?
AS (3:23 PM): ok
AS (3:23 PM): have you help me one here in ghana before?
Mal (3:24 PM): No.
AS (3:24 PM): you should try and help
Mal (3:25 PM): There are refugees and needy everywhere. Just look at Haiti, for one.
AS (3:26 PM): what do you mean?
Mal (3:27 PM): Why help the refugees in Ghana particularly? Where are they from?
AS (3:28 PM): there are from deffeant deffeant places
Mal (3:28 PM): Such as?
AS (3:29 PM): such as what?
Mal (3:29 PM): You said they were from different places. What places do you mean?
AS (3:31 PM): plz i have to go now
AS (3:31 PM): tale to you any time again plz
AS (3:31 PM): take care of ur self

OK - that could have ended up badly. Now all that I have to worry about is what 4nita is planning. 'She' seems to have forgotten about her late dad's million bucks for now...

Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 9:57 am

I did that once to. I mentioned a Mr Ken from another bait. Lhe ald caught on and wondered why the fuck Mr Ken was. I i felt the need to introduce Mr Ken Gomer to my lad.
As he was the one bugging me about it and not letting it go one can say it was really his fault than Mr Gomer chopped his dolla.

Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 7:02 pm

Whew..quick saves...thinking fast...nice work.