Star Wars Safari--Day 13. Sick, tired, broke.

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Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 10:21 pm

He's playin hard case. I decided to reply as follows:

Quote:

Williams,

I don't know what you're talking about.
Read the following very carefully:
a) NO POLICE! That is final. There is absolutely no reason for any authority to be involved. Our information indicates that the money are still in Lagos, where the thief hid them. We are very close to have hacked the GPS-transmitter he hid with the money. When we've hacked it succesfully, we will forward the coordinates and a map to you, and after that it's merely a matter of you going there, getting the money, taking 15,000 for yourself and pay the rest into a bank account I will give you.
b) I attached a scan of the Western Union receipt in my last mail. Download it and open it in a picture viewer.

Let me know that you understand the above. Get back to em ASAP.

Jabba

I attached a 20 MB .dll file masked as jpg.

But the jackass still doesn't bite:

Quote:

Hello Mr. Jabba,

Please hod do you want me to go to Lagos without any proof of what you are sending me for, now you did not send to me any of the proof of the transfered receipt or western union slips which i can have to meet this thiefs and arrange to collect this money back from them or do you think you are just dealing with an undergraduate .

Please dont fool me around if you are sure of what you are saying kindly let me have all the transfer reciept proofs before i can decide to move down to Lagos for the collection of your money else we can forget about this transaction because i am not all that interested on your 15.000.00 US Dollars thanks.

best regards.
Prince Williams.

Hm, maybe it's time to send him a blurred WU receipt from Deuzer's deck of frustration. Twisted Evil

Posted: Thu Dec 23, 2010 8:39 pm

UPDATE!

After repeated attempts to get us to finance his trip, Bravo makes a nice call to our Lad and tells him we aren't travel agents, and that if he cant figure out how to go get this money on his own he is out of the deal. Bravo gave him a 24 hour deadline.

Then I got this email from him (seems he doesn't like Bravo very much)

Quote:

DEAR BRO. H4NS

I SPOKE WITH YOUR FRIEND, HE SEEM TO BE A DICTATOR WHO DICTATES THE LIVES OF PEOPLE, AND HOW THEY SHOULD GO. HE DOESN'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND THAT I AM NOT IN MY COUNTRY(NIGERIA) . HE SAID HE GAVE ME 24HRS TO GET TO NIGERIA OR THE JOB WILL BE GIVING TO SOMEONE ELSE. I DON'T THINK I CAN GO TO SUCH JOURNEY, BECAUSE HE MADE IT SO CLEAR THAT IF THEY KNEW THAT HE WAS TO MONEY TO AFRICA, THEY SEE HIM LIKE A STUPID PERSON.

I AM A MAN OF GOD WHO IS WILLING TO DO THE WORK OF GOD AND NOT TO GO LOOKING FOR MONEY THAT DOES NOT BELONG TO ME. THE REASON WHY I INVOLVED MYSELF WAS BECAUSE MY SON IN THE LORD TOLD ME ABOUT IT AND I AM FAMILY WITH THE NORTHERN STATES IN NIGERIA BECAUSE THAT WAS WHERE I GREW UP. SO I DECIDED THAT I WILL MAKE UP MY TIME TO GO. IF YOU GUYS CANNOT GET MONEY FOR MY FLIGHT TICKET, THEN FORGET ABOUT ME AND LOOK FOR SOMEONE ELSE.

BEST REGARDS,
P4STOR CL3TUS.

Still hoping that he is our lad for the journey I email him back:

H4ns to P4stor:

Quote:

I just talked to Luke, and I think you are misunderstanding him.

He told me that he said you have 24 hours to come up with a way to make the journey. Not 24 hours to get to Nigeria.

We cant delay on this, and we can't be moving money around right now.

I can't think of any other time in your life you are going to have the opportunity to get such an easy payoff. And it isn't small change either.

Looks like we are going to have to find another business partner if you can't figure out how to get there.

H4ns

Then I got this reply, subject: I DONT COMPROMISE MY FAITH

Quote:

DEAR BRO HANS.

ITS OKAY BY ME, I SPOKE WITH KELVIN ABOUT THE SITUATION AT HAND. YOU GUYS CAN FIND SOMEONE ELSE WHO WILL GO FOR THE MONEY. I DON'T THINK YOU ARE WILLING TO ASSIST WITH THE SITUATION AT HAND. ALMOST EVERY ONE CAN AGREE TO DO THE BUSINESS FOR YOU BECAUSE IT INVOLVES LOT OF MONEY, BUT SINCERE PEOPLE WILL THINK TWICE.

BE CAREFUL AND MAY GOD BE WITH YOU GUYS.

BEST WISHES,
P4STOR CL3TUS.

Well, with tears in our eyes we rode off into the sunset looking for another lad.

BUT WAIT! Almost immediately I start getting phone calls from him--which I ignore.

Then today, phone calls again, he leaves a message telling me to call him urgently. I don't.

Then this email comes in:

P4stor to H4ns:

Quote:

DEAR BRO H4NS.

COMPLEMENT OF THE SEASON. I WANT TO KEEP YOU INFORM THAT I SPOKE TO A FRIEND WHO AGREE'S TO ASSIST ME WITH THE TRANSPORTATION DOWN TO NIGERIA. BUT I TRIED CALLING YOUR LINE, NO RESPONSE. PLEASE, TELL ME IF YOU HAVE ALREADY GOTTEN SOMEONE ELSE.

BEST WISHES,
P4STOR CL3TUS.

Get ready for a Star Wars adventure!

Posted: Thu Dec 23, 2010 10:40 pm

Yay!! Pastor found the balls I said he did not have.. I guess a little rest made him realize $50k is worth borrowing money for.After all he will soon be rich and can easily pay back the money. Twisted Evil

Posted: Fri Dec 24, 2010 12:14 am

Yeah, I'm going to call him in an hour or so. I'll post it up here when I'm thru.

Posted: Fri Dec 24, 2010 12:38 am

He has been calling me all day but Luke is busy playing poker with Yoda and Boba Fett.

Posted: Fri Dec 24, 2010 1:03 am

Frustration he must be feeling, yes...

Posted: Fri Dec 24, 2010 1:11 am

'Do or do not,' we told him, 'there is no try.'

Posted: Fri Dec 24, 2010 1:17 am

One thought: How the hell do you play poker with someone who is versed in the force? Dark or Lightside? Having a 'poker' face would be rather moot no?

Bluffing would be impossible.

Posted: Fri Dec 24, 2010 1:23 am

Oh, and hey, here's another thought: Next time, lets invite Nowhere Man to come play poker. Mkay.

Or at least, to drink up some beer while y'all (as Bravo would say) lose your money to each other.

Posted: Fri Dec 24, 2010 1:56 am

You would think Luke and Yoda would have an advantage with the whole force thing but Boba has a hell of a poker face.

You got it next time everyone is invited to Mos Eisely for poker night.

Posted: Fri Dec 24, 2010 2:00 am

Yea but if Boba Fett is trying to bluff or has a good hand, Yoda and Luke can simply sense his feelings and play accordingly to what Boba feels.

Posted: Fri Dec 24, 2010 2:25 am

Just got off the phone with a sleepy Pastor.

http://www.4shared.com/audio/v5E8oJ3S/questions.html

Damn! MF'r was grilling me about geograpy, and I didn't have my map pulled up. I hope I didn't fuck up too bad. I told him that I couldn't remember, but I'd send him an email.

I think I told him some wrong details about distances, but I'll cover it in the email. Shit!

Looks like he is going by road. I strongly suggest that when anyone talks with him they have a map available.

** SUSPENDED ** Joined: 01 Nov 2010 Posts: 1161

bravo95 wrote:

He has been calling me all day but Luke is busy playing poker with Yoda and Boba Fett.

Let me see your identification.

Posted: Fri Dec 24, 2010 6:23 am

Just got another call from our lad the Pastor. He is very nervous that we might have given our map out to other interested parties.

I told him we haven't...but sometimes my memory isn't so good. Maybe we did? Maybe this could bring Jabba into play?

Then I checked my email and this came in:

Pastor to Hans:

Quote:

DEAR BRO. H4NS.

PLEASE, TELL ME IF YOU HAVE GIVING THOSE GUYS THE GPS CODE. AND IF YOU HAVE DONE IT, NO NEED OF WAISTING MY TIME. BECAUSE THEY MUST HAVE STARTED THE TRIP IF THEY HAVE THE MAP WITH THEM. BUT IF YOU HAVE NOT YET GIVING IT OUT TO ANYONE, THEN I KNOW I CAN STILL EMBARK ON THE JOURNEY.

MORE SO, I WILL BE WAITING FOR THE MAP AND A PROPER DESCRIPTION OF THE PLACE AS YOU SAID. YOU KNOW JOS HAVE MANY ROOTS LEADING TO BAUCHI. TRY AS MUCH AS YOU CAN TO STATE THE NAMES OF THE ROOT TO THE PLACE.

WAITING YOUR URGENT REPLY.

PASTOR CL3TUS.

He wants to leave on Christmas day, but given the time change I am trying to convince him to leave the day after Christmas. I figure we might all be busy with family, etc.

Funny, he is chomping at the bit to go, and here I am trying to convince him to wait. Just the other day he was telling us to find someone else.

Ah, lads.

Posted: Fri Dec 24, 2010 9:09 am

Excellent news.
Speaking of maps and geography, is the pastor being sent to Bauchi via Jos, of religious massacre fame?

Posted: Fri Dec 24, 2010 3:46 pm

Here is where we are sending our lad. He is going by road and leaving tomorrow.

I sent him this email last night:

H4ns to P4stor:

Quote:

Ok, now that my family has gone to bed I can email you. Mind you, the time difference between us is 7 hours. It will be 8 hours once you get to Nigeria.

For this reason I think you should leave on the 26th of December. I am in just as much a hurry as you to get this money, but if you leave on Christmas (your time) it will still only be Christmas Eve (my time). That means once you get to Nigeria I will be around family all day and not as free as I would like to direct you.

How long will your journey take?

Once we got off the phone, I took out my notes from my trip to Africa, and also pulled up the GPS map. It seems that I was mistaken. We were much closer to Bauchi than I thought, but still, from Jos to Bauchi is only around 100km, so it is not even close to a days journey.

I remember that we left Jos, after seeing the rock formation, and headed down the A-3 roadway. We turned onto the Tafawe-Balewa roadway. You get onto this from the A-3 via a roundabout.

Then you go down maybe 500-1000 m. There is another roundabout. This is where I took the money. I jotted down notes so that I would be sure to know exactly where. The runway is close. If it's daytime, you might even be able to see it.

You will see a sign for the Sh3hu Az4re Park. The money is at the roundabout just past there. You will want to pull over just as you approach the roundabout. I remember there were two trees (which will be on your right), one much larger than the other, about 3 meters apart, and a fence just past that. I put the money in the ground between the two trees and marked it with the stones.

From the roundabout, you can go to the right, where there is a sort of tree lined street. You can park there as well if it is daytime.

I'm telling you, with these instructions, and the GPS map this thing should be very very simple.

I'd like to be in constant communication with you on your travels. If you stop at an internet cafe between Ghana and Nigeria I want you to email me. If you call and I can't answer, I want you to email me. If I am around family I can answer an email much easier than a call. But don't worry, I will always call you back promptly.

Any questions?

Thank god for Google earth.

Pastor called me a bit ago to ask if he should bring a shovel. Of course! your going to be digging holes in the ground.

Posted: Sat Dec 25, 2010 10:23 am

It would be lovely if he were busy digging on the 28th.

Quote:

Today, the date of Holy Innocents' Day, also called Childermas or Children's Mass, varies. ...In Spain and Hispanic America, December 28 is a day for pranks, equivalent to April Fool's Day in many countries. Pranks are known as inocentadas and their victims are called inocentes, or alternatively, the pranksters are the "inocentes" and the victims should not be angry at them, since they could not have committed any sin. Various Catholic countries had a tradition (no longer widely observed) of role reversal between children and their adult educators, including boy bishops, perhaps a Christianized version of the Roman annual feast of the Saturnalia (when even slaves played 'masters' for a day). In some cultures it is said to be an unlucky day, when no new project should be started. ...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Massacre_of_the_Innocents

Posted: Sun Dec 26, 2010 5:04 am

Ok. Pastor is supposed to be leaving tomorrow. He called me this morning at 5 a.m. but I ignored it.

I emailed him asking to know of his plans, but he hasn't answered yet.

Fingers crossed.

As soon as I have confirmation that he has left we'll bring on the lad pain.

Posted: Sun Dec 26, 2010 7:23 am

So when they are digging, can you call the local cops and say that there are few 419 scammers that are looking for money at the particular location.
If the cops is a good guy they will arrest the group, or if it is a bad cop he will demand money from the group.

Any way there is chance to get these scammers arrested for their crimes that they do.

Posted: Sun Dec 26, 2010 8:42 am

Happy second day of Christmas, all!
I'm listening to the phone call and I'm most impressed by how you fielded the questioning, NWM.

edited to add:
http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=195906

Posted: Mon Dec 27, 2010 2:10 am

actionman wrote:

Any way there is chance to get these scammers arrested for their crimes that they do.

There may be a very good chance if that fence surrounds a government installation. Smile

Posted: Mon Dec 27, 2010 12:19 pm

@ actionman: I thought the same thing after I received this email...

Quote:

ALL IS WELL, JUST THAT I NEVER KNEW MY HEAD PASTOR WAS TRAVELLING OUT OF THE COUNTRY FOR A PROGRAM IN ONE OF THE AFRICAN COUNTRIES. HE TOLD ME ABOUT THE TRIP BEFORE, BUT I NEVER KNEW IT WILL BE SO SUDDEN. THIS WAS WHAT WE WHERE DELIBERATING TODAY AFTER THE SERVICE. SO IT MAKES ME NOT TO PREPARE MYSELF TODAY FOR THE JOURNEY.

NEVERTHELESS, I WILL LIKE TO ASK YOU ONE MORE QUESTION. BECAUSE I KNOW GPS ARE USED FOR SOME SORT OF DEVICES, BUT WHAT IF SOMEONE LIKE THE POLICE HAPPENS TO MEET ME WHY DIGGING THE HOLE , AND ASK WHAT I AM DOING THERE, WHAT WILL I ANSWER THE COP? BECAUSE I KNOW MY COUNTRY VERY WELL. EVERYONE LOOKS SUSPICIOUS. BESIDES, THERE IS CRISIS GOING ON IN PLATEAU STATE, (JOS) MAIN TOWN. IF YOU ARE CURRENT WITH THE WORLD NEWS, YOU WILL HEAR FOR YOUR SELF.

PLEASE, WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO FOR ME BEFORE I LIVE, IS TO GIVE DETAIL ORIGIN OF THE FUND SO THAT I CAN KNOW WHAT TO SAY IF I AM BEING CONFRONTED. OR ADVICE ME ON WHAT TO SAY. AND IF IN THE COURSE OF THE CONFRONTATION I CALL YOU, WILL YOU ANSWER AND SPEAK WITH THEM?

BEST WISHES,
P4STOR CL3TUS.

I called yesterday and they said they were getting ready to go. I think today is the day they will start out. If not, I'm going to call and raise some hell.

@psychicbait: Thanks for the link. Pastor has to head right thru Jos.

Posted: Mon Dec 27, 2010 1:06 pm

Geez do we have to do all the thinking for this lad? You just tell the cop your digging for worms to go fishing.

Posted: Mon Dec 27, 2010 3:22 pm

Yeah, this guy is one of a kind, I'll tell you. I've never dealt with someone like this. Quite the challenge.

I replied to his last email:

Quote:

I don't think you are going to meet a cop where the money is.

If you do meet a cop, tell him that you were hired to retrieve some property that was stolen from an American businessman, and then call me. I will explain it to them.

So when do you expect to leave?

Then I get this:

Pastor to H4ns:

Quote:

FOR ME I WOULD HAVE GONE SINCE YESTERDAY, BUT THE FRIEND THAT WANTS TO ASSIST ME WITH MONEY ASK ME TO WAIT TILL TODAY. SO ANYTIME THE MONEY ENTERS MY HAND, I WILL NOT HESITATE TO LEAVE IMMEDIATELY. SO PROBABLY, I CAN TAKE OFF TODAY AT ANYTIME.

YOU STILL DID NOT ANSWER WHAT I ASK YOU. IF I TELL THEM I CAME TO RECOVER A PROPERTY THAT WAS STOLEN FROM AN AMERICAN BUSINESS MAN, IT WILL CALL FOR MORE QUESTIONS. ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS TO TELL ME THE ORIGIN OF THE FUNDS? AND I CAN KNOW HOW TO PLACE MY WORDS. BECAUSE EVEN THE TAXI DRIVER THAT WILL CONVEY ME THERE WILL LIKE TO KNOW WHAT I CAME THERE FOR. IF I TOOK A CAR OF MY OWN THERE, THAT WILL BE A DIFFERENT BALL GAME. SO PLEASE, UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM SAYING.

BEST WISHES,
P4STOR CL3TUS.

I love that he'll be digging up the ground while a taxi driver sits there starring at him, like, 'what the fuck is this guy doing?'

I respond:

Quote:

You can tell them that it was money that I was taking to a Humanitarian Organization while I was in Nigeria--funds that were donated from a group of American churches. It was stolen from me, but I found out later that there was a GPS unit in the briefcase. Now I have hired you to go and recover it for me.

Or, you can tell them that you were hired by the GPS company to retrieve some of their GPS transmitters that need to be serviced. That way, the question of money never even comes up.

Lad needs to start thinking for himself. Can't he see my friends and I are busy planning a fun safari for him!?

Posted: Mon Dec 27, 2010 11:26 pm

Excellent Bait! Looking forward to following this Safari as it develops.

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