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Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 12:03 am

Working on a potential lad for a safari when I had an idea. How about a Star Wars safari...?

Basically, I work for a construction company that does some work in Africa, but I am also a member of a shadowy group called R.A. (Rebel Alliance) and we have stolen some money that belonged to Jaba Thehut. My friends, various Star Wars characters, are in on the theft, and we have buried the money somewhere, which is when lad comes in to go and retrieve it.

I'll probably need a couple of folks in on this. Any takers? You'll need to be able to make phone calls.

p.s. Early planning stages here, but trying to get my ducks in a line.

insults and more · Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 12:07 am

I'm in, if I can be Chewie.

I've long wanted to bait using nothing but grunts, chirps, roars, and occasional belches.

Man, those phone calls would be hilarious.

Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 12:14 am

You got it.

Leonsumbitches=Chewie.

Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 12:57 am

Can I be Jabba?

I can make phone calls. And I can sound like Jabba (MorphVox).

Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 1:15 am

Got it.

The Dane=Jabba
Leon=Chewie

By the way, I'm Hans Olow--so, too bad!

insults and more · Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 1:33 am

Give the word, and I'll start buying Rogaine wholesale. By the time the bait starts I can be as hairy as a sysadmin.

TheDane: it just occurred to me that this horrific candy advertisement, filtered through a Jabba morph, would probably make a lad piss himself.

Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 9:39 am

^^^ See fah luto eetheen, ee yaba ma dukey massa. Eeth wong che coh pa na-geen, nah meeto toe bunky dunko. Lo choda!

insults and more · Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 10:22 am

^^^^ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GsMx6oZ1Kxc

Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 11:12 am

That sounds hilarious! Perhaps they will run into some tusken raiders on their way to the cantina in Addis Abbaba.

Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 3:18 pm

This reminds me of a de-ed script I wrote a while back. I was worried it would not be globally understood as BS so I decided not to use it.

Quote:

Subject: Help the carbon is near!

Hello my name is Hans Olo. I know this email may come to you as a surprise but I desperately need your help. I am being held captive by a gangster named Yaba D' Hute in the desert. I was able to get this message out with the help of me are2di2 computer but I fear they will catch me soon and give my are2di2 to the jawuz soon. I am a smuggler and owe a lot of money to Yaba. He is unaware that I have the money safely hidden away in a place called Lderon It is hard to find but if you help me I can tell you exactly how to get there. I have over 60 million credits stashed away and I will offer you 40% and an are2di2 unit of your own if you help me. Theses are very valuable as I'm sure you can guess.

What I need you to do first is contact my partner Luke Skiwalker. He will tell you how to get to Lderon. We will need to draw up an agreement with the Republic in order for you to be able to leave Lderon with the money. Once you send me the information below I can have my partner work on the paper work. He is hiding out now in the swamp at the moment but can get the paper drawn up on his dagoba system.
1) Full Name
2) Address
3) Phone Number
4) Copy of your ID
Please I beg you to help me with my situation. I can feel my force drainig away from me even as I write this. As you can imagine with this much money at stake it is very important you do not tell anyone about this. Specially the Imperials they are all around us and can use special mind tricks.
Your Friend
Hans Olo

insults and more · Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 6:40 pm

^^^^ I think that the only globally BS script guaranteed to be impossible for at least someone to fall for, is a swift kick to the nuts while bellowing "I AM STEALING FROM YOU."

Unfortunately.

Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 7:09 pm

Nice Bravo. Might have to 'borrow' some of that when I talk to the lad on the phone.

Speaking of The Lad: My potential safari lad crapped out. I'll come up with a new one soon enough. No shortage of lads, unfortunately.

Posted: Wed Dec 15, 2010 2:48 pm

Got a few very strong potential candidates. Sent out about 100 emails with the old 'look, I know this is a scam but thats ok, I need someone like you to do a job' and got a lot of responses.

I'll keep you posted. Looking good, though!

Master Baiter Joined: 12 Nov 2010 Posts: 172

please may I join this?

I'm General Maximilian Veers

Posted: Wed Dec 15, 2010 6:47 pm

@dadaist: Sure! I'll let you know when I firm something up with one of the potential lads.

Posted: Wed Dec 15, 2010 7:09 pm

Nowhere Man wrote:

Sent out about 100 emails with the old 'look, I know this is a scam but thats ok, I need someone like you to do a job' and got a lot of responses.

Coincidently, I have a similar ASEM out right now, offering the lads to be hired to help me on a special mission. And I haven't got as far as to telling them what the mission is acutally about yet, so I can just suck them into this thing instead. Smile

I'll just play the Jabba part and tries to hire the lads as bounty hunters. Wink

Whaddya think?

Posted: Wed Dec 15, 2010 7:47 pm

@ The Dane: Whatever works.

I have a few potential lads calling me this afternoon to talk about the deal.

I've been telling them that I was working on a project building a runway in Ghana (that would account for the GPS unit later) and found a lot of money in the warehouse where we stored our equipment. I buried the money with the GPS unit thinking I could come back for it later when things cooled off, but the company moved us suddenly and I wasn't able to retrieve it.

Now I have to get it before the battery dies (which will happen about the time lad is w/in the vicinity of the so called box).

I figured Jabba could be the one who lost his money and is out to get lad and associates.

At least, that is what I am thinking currently. Things change, you know.

Posted: Wed Dec 15, 2010 7:58 pm

Nowhere Man wrote:

I figured Jabba could be the one who lost his money and is out to get lad and associates.

My thoughts exactly. I'll see if I can get a lad or two to go Boba Fett on them. Very Happy

Posted: Wed Dec 15, 2010 8:03 pm

Dont forget about Guido. He could be the mafia connection here.

Maybe far enough into the bait that lad is hooked, my email box gets hacked, and Jabba finds out lad info, and the race is on to see who gets to the money first. Jabba could even try to hire lad out from under me and we could see just how cutthroat lad will be.

A couple of the potentials use gmail, so I thought about setting up new boxes for them to use so that we can trace IP's. I'll come up with some excuse to get them to bite.

Posted: Wed Dec 15, 2010 8:14 pm

Here's what I'm gonna tell them:
My accountant, Dan Tooine, began to correspond with the lad(s) through email, and altimately was scammed out of 78,000 dollars of my money. I had my assistant, Dedd Starr, take care of Dan Tooine, but I still need to recover the money. There will be a generous bounty for recovering it, and a bonus for various ridiculous things we'll make up as we go along. If they're in, I will tell them to stand by for further instructions. I can drag this phase of the bait to last at least a month, if it's the right lad. If not, he'll drop me, but would have done so eventually anyway, methinks.

I have 3-4 potential lads already. Stay tuned for updates. Wink

Posted: Wed Dec 15, 2010 8:54 pm

I like it.

We could potentially have a couple of lads trying to get to the buried money first.

If the lad is hostile (like that last dick we tried to safari) lets find another less hostile, less smart, lad.

One of them is supposed to call me in about an hour.

** SUSPENDED ** Joined: 01 Nov 2010 Posts: 1161

@ NowhereMan and theDane, coudl you PM me your ASEM scripts?

Trying to get into ASEM baiting but coming up pretty uninspired with ASEM content, or how to make it convincing. Sad

Posted: Wed Dec 15, 2010 9:08 pm

^^^ PM sent.

Posted: Wed Dec 15, 2010 9:17 pm

me too. PM sent.

Master Baiter Joined: 12 Nov 2010 Posts: 172

Nowhere Man wrote:

Dont forget about Guido. He could be the mafia connection here.

That is a beautiful Star Wars / criminal pun.

When Greedo offers to take the money from Han in return for his life - is that an attempt at a dollar chop?

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