Tanstaafl turns Henry from a loan lad into a hitlad

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insults and more · Posted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 7:59 am

Henry Morgan enters the Tanstaafl net. This is EXTREMELY confusing. We turned a loan lad into a hitlad without really meaning to. Fasten your seatbelts.

Mods: Tanstaafl is extremely confused and rather demented. We apologize profusely for his attempt to destabilize Indo-China via the distribution of methamphetamines. If it's any consolation, he probably thinks he was in 'Nam because he watched Forrest Gump and Deerhunter.

His initial email (december 7th):

Quote:

from Henry Morgan <[email protected]>

Greetings to You,

Getting a legitimate loan have always been a huge problem To clients
who have financial needs. The issue of credit and collateral are loan
from something that clients are always worried about when seeking a
alegitimate lender. But Mr.HENRY MORGAN LOAN FIRM. has made that
difference inthe lending
industry. 1.5% rate . We havebeen given the privilege to meet your
financial needs. The issue of creditshouldn't stop you from getting
the loan that you
need.

Our Services Include the Following:-

*Investors Loans
*Debt Consolidation
*Second Mortgage
*Business Loans
*Personal Loans
*International Loans

LOAN APPLICATION FORM PERSONAL INFORMATION

First Name:
Last Name:
Contact Address: .
City/Zip Code:
State :
Country
Gender:
Date of birth (yyyy-mm-dd):
Telephone:
Marital Status :
Occupation:
Next of Kin:

LOAN INFORMATION

Amount Needed as Loan :
Purpose of Loan:
Loan Duration :
Monthly Income :
Have you applied for loan before (yes or no)

Best Regards,

Mr.HENRY MORGAN

Tanstaafl:

Quote:

Thank you for your email.
You might be just what I am looking for.

Henry:

Quote:

i want you to know that you are to fill the form given to you before
so that we can proceed okay

Tanstaafl:

Quote:

Yep, sure, that should not be a problem.

Looking forwards to hearing from you.
Regards,
Sven.

Henry:

Quote:

Greetings to you..
i want you to know that we are still waiting for your urgent mail so
that we can proceed okay

AWAITING YOUR URGEWNT RESPONSE OKAY

Tanstaafl (obviously off his meds):

Quote:

Here is my response

Play the fucking track!
Play that fucking track!!
Oh there it is
Limp Bizkit, DMX, Redman, Method Man
That's right y'all
We just keep on rollin baby
Are you ready...
Are you ready...
Are you ready!!!

Move in now move out!
Hands up, now hands down!
Back up! Back up!
Tell me what you gonna do now!
Breathe in, now breathe out!
Hands up, now hands down!
Back up! Back up!
Tell me what you gonna do now! [C'mon!]
Keep rollin, rollin, rollin, rollin [Uh!]
Keep rollin, rollin, rollin, rollin [What!]
Keep rollin, rollin, rollin, rollin [Uh!]
Keep rollin, rollin, rollin, rollin

FUCK YES IM READY

Henry:

Quote:

Greetings to You,

Getting a legitimate loan have always been a huge problem To clients
who have financial needs. The issue of credit and collateral are loan
from something that clients are always worried about when seeking a
alegitimate lender. But Mr.HENRY MORGAN LOAN FIRM. has made that
difference inthe lending
industry. 1.5% rate . We havebeen given the privilege to meet your
financial needs. The issue of creditshouldn't stop you from getting
the loan that you
need.

Our Services Include the Following:-

*Investors Loans
*Debt Consolidation
*Second Mortgage
*Business Loans
*Personal Loans
*International Loans

LOAN APPLICATION FORM PERSONAL INFORMATION

First Name:
Last Name:
Contact Address: .
City/Zip Code:
State :
Country
Gender:
Date of birth (yyyy-mm-dd):
Telephone:
Marital Status :
Occupation:
Next of Kin:

LOAN INFORMATION

Amount Needed as Loan :
Purpose of Loan:
Loan Duration :
Monthly Income :
Have you applied for loan before (yes or no)

Best Regards,

Mr.HENRY MORGAN

Tanstaafl:

Quote:

Mr. Morgan,
I am interested in financing a campaign of vengeance in South Vietnam. The goddamned gooks took three fingers on my left hand and half of my manhood.
I am interested in hiring and training drug dealers, to get the youth of the region addicted to crack cocaine and methamphetamine, in order to ultimately destabilize greater Indo-china. Would your loan services cover this?

I attempted to fill out your loan application but was unable to do so as I do not have a Zip Code,telephone, occupation or any kin. I am also wondering what to write for gender, as I was born a man but the gooks kept half of me.

Kindest retards,
Sven

Henry:

Quote:

HELLO THERE YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING ,THIS IS A LOAN FIRM
NOT A PLAY GROUND...BUT IF YOU DO NOT NEED A LOAN AND YOU NEED HIRE
KILLERS AND DRUG DEALLERS,WE CAN DO THAT FOR YOU ALL YOU JUST NEED TO
DO IS TO PAY FOR THEIR FLIGHT FOR THEM TO COME DOWN TO YOUR COUNTRY TO
HELP YOU COMPLETE THE MISSION

Tanstaafl:

Quote:

sounds great, what are their rates? and do you have proof / references on their previous 'work'

Henry:

Quote:

do you still need this people to accomplish your revange or you are
nolonger interested if still interested please get back to me so that
we can proceed okay or would you like to talk to them your self if so
please get back to me so that i can give you their email address okay

Tanstaafl:

Quote:

revenge is a dish best served cold

Henry:

Quote:

WHAT DO YOU MEAN ..ARE YOU NOT INTERESTED AN Y MORE

Tanstaafl:

Quote:

How much was it again?

Henry:

Quote:

I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT IT WILL COST YOU $500 EACH FOR THEM TO LEAVE
OUR COUNTRY TO YOUR COUNTRY,SO I WANT YOU TO GET BACK O ME SO THAT I
CAN INFORM THEM TO GET READY FOR THE TRIP TO YOUR COUNTRY OKAY

Tanstaafl:

Quote:

I need at least 3, can you supply before christmas?

Henry:

Quote:

are you still interested or not because i just receive a call from the
gang leader and he said that they are very ready that you should send
the flight fee so that they can come down to your country okay

Tanstaafl:

Quote:

Of course I am interested if you have three people done before Christmas. Can you?

Henry:

Quote:

i want you to know that we can supply the 3 of them before christmas
if only you can be able to pay their flight.so i want you to know that
if you can be able to pay this fee today they will come to your
country next week..so i want you to act fast with their flight fee so
that they can come to your country next week and accomplish your
mission before Christmas so i want you to get back to me now so that i
will know when you are making the payment so that they can come to
your country on time okay...so get back to me now so that i can give
you their information that you are going to use to make the payment so
that they will come to your country next week

I WILL BE WAITING FOR YOUR URGENT MAIL OR RESPONSE

Tanstaafl:

Quote:

But I thought reindeers could fly?

Henry:

Quote:

yes i can have 3 people done before christmas,but the only problem now
is their flight money okay so i want you to try and raise their flight
money and tell me when you are sending the flight money so that they
can come to your country okay

but please send me your phone number so that i can give it to the gang
leader to call you okay

Tanstaafl:

Quote:

Who is coming to my country? How many are you sending? Can I pay for just one and you can do them one at a time.

Henry:

Quote:

i want you to know that i am willing to help you due to your condition
so i will pay for two and then you pay for one of them okay which will
cost you the sum of $500usd
so i want you to get back to me now so that i can send you their
payment information that you are going to use to send the flight money
okay so get back to me now

Tanstaafl:

Quote:

Thank you very much, this sounds fantastic!
Please proceeed as suggested.

Henry:

Quote:

so i want you to go ahead and send the money so that they can come on
time so i want you to tell me when you are sending the fee to them

Tanstaafl:

Quote:

I've been thinking. I'm happy for just the two to come over.

Henry:

Quote:

Greetings to you Sven
i must want you to keep this as a secret because this people are
underground professional assasins and i would not like you to put me
into trouble but like i promise ypu before to day ,after the mail i
sent to you i contacted them and they said that due to your conditions
and what happened to you that they must help you to revange and they
also said that when ever you are ready you should contact me so that
they will get prepaid .and i want you to know that this people have
travelled round the world to kill people and they are always get paid
but they said that they will not collect any money from you that they
want to help you...
President Obafemi Awolowo was killed by this boys because they were
paid to do so ..so i want you to know that to kill a president is not
easy so you should know that they are professionals in this game so i
want you to contact me if you are ready okay

BUT I MUST LET YOU KNOW THAT I WILL ASSIST YOU IN BRINGING THEM TO
YOUR COUNTRY BUT YOU WILL NEED TO PAY SOME MONEY TO BRING THEM THEIR
OKAY SO IF YOU AGREE GET BACK TO ME SO THAT WE CAN START BY TOMORROW
OKAY

Tanstaafl:

Quote:

Thank you very much, this sounds fantastic!
Please proceeed as suggested.

Regards,
Sven.

Henry:

Quote:

this is the payment information of the gang leader so i will advice
you to go and make the payment tomorrow so that they can star the
travelling on monday

BELOW IS THE GANG LEADER PAYMENT INFORMATION
THAT YOU ARE GOING YO USE IN SENDING THE FLIGHT MONEY

I received your mail, regarding the content of your mail, i want
to let you know that, You are advice to go and send this sum of
$500usd so that you can get this three (3)people in your
country before christmas okay

Receiver's name:Osin Sylvester
Receiver's Country: Nigeria
Receiver's State: Edo State
Receiver's City: Ekpoma
Receiver's Text Question:who am i ?
Receiver's Answer: Sylvester
Amount To Be Sent:$500usd

As soon as you send this money, you are to quickly send the
gang leader the following details:

Sender's name:
Location:
Mtcn:

This is informations will be required for immediate confirmation
of the money and and it will hasten the their coming to your
country before christmas you.
I awaits your quick response.

Sincerely,

Mr. HENRY MORGAN

Tanstaafl:

Quote:

Oh I don't think I can work with anyone called Sylvester. My granny had a cat called Sylvester and it ate my favourite canary.

Is there anyone else?

Henry:

Quote:

ok i want you to know that since you do not want to work with
silvester okay then there is some one else i will tell him then and
ask another one to come but i must tell you that you must pay for one
or else they can not come but if you say you now want only two then
pay fo one then i pay for one because you are the one in need of them
not me i just only want to help so try and come up with the fee if
you really need this people before christmas that is only what i can
do for you ..i am hoing to replace that silvester with jugde,he is a
very good killer,so try and raise the money so that they can come to
your country okay

Tanstaafl:

Quote:

Hang on a minute! You were happy to pay for two before but now you are going back on our agreement! I thought you could be trusted.

Henry (subject: YOU ARE BIG FOOL):

Quote:

you are a big fool .how can you get killers withput payong their
flight in even do you a favour by helping you to pay for the two of
them and you are not even appreciative you are ungreatful person so i
want you to know that if you are ready to pay the money then you can
get this people in your country before xmas okay

SO I WILL BE WAITING FOR YOUR URGENTY RESPONSE

Tanstaafl (ever senile):

Quote:

I don't know what you're talking about!

Henry:

Quote:

i want you to know that if i must help you.you just have to pay for
one so that i pay for the rest...that is the only way that you can get
this people okay..so i will advice you to try and raise the fee so
that they can come to your country before christmas

Tanstaafl:

Quote:

Okay then, if you will only pay for one, I'll hire that one. I was only expecting one anyway.

Henry:

Quote:

hello Sven
it is like you are not ready if you need only one person then we will
have to share the flight fee which is $500.i will bring $250 and then
you bring $250 but if you are not ready to pay then forget every thing
okay but if you are ready tell me when you are making the payment okay

Tanstaafl:

Quote:

I really don't understand you Mr Morgan. First you were prepared to pay $1000 towards the flight, now you will only pay $250. Why do you keep changing the amount you are willing to pay?

Henry:

Quote:

Greetings
i want you to know that there is no lender that can give you loan with
out paying fees..so i want you to try and borrow from friends and
relatives so that you can be able to raise the fee.so i will want you
to quickly go and look for the money now so that they can be there
before christmas.so try and understand and raise this money to enable
you accomplish your mission okay..so i want you to get back to me so
that i can give you the new payment information that you are going to
use in sending the money

Tanstaafl:

Quote:

Can I borrow the money from you Henry? You know I'm good for it.

Henry:

Quote:

it is because first you said you need three of them and later you said
two and now you said one.so since you need one we will have to share
the flight fee which is $500 you pay $250 while i pay $250..but if you
do not have the money go and borrow if you can not find forget about
this mission okay

Tanstaafl:

Quote:

Where can I borrow money? Do you know any loan companies?

Henry:

Quote:

are you still interested or not

Tanstaafl (remember, this started out as a loan bait, and Sven is confused):

Quote:

Yes I am. How much can you lend me?

Henry:

Quote:

if you really want to accomplish this mission.just try and look for
something to sell so that you can pay the fee to enable you get this
mission accomplished so i will advic e you to sell one of your
property to get this mission accomplished..that is the best i can do
for you okay because i have no money to lend you okay

Tanstaafl:

Quote:

What about the $1000 you were going to use to pay for the flights of two men? Do you want to help me or not?