Tale of woe

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Posted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 1:02 pm

Posing as a new character in the bait who is eager to help, I asked my favourite pet 0gugu0 to describe all his experiences since applying for funding. Typically, he started to tire after the first few lines and tried to pass the task on to another Elder, but this gives a good general outline of the experience from his point of view.

I've demanded a much more detailed account. The lad does all the work!

Quote:

Eminent Holy Reverend ELDER ****************

Thank you for your candid mail and as you indicated in your mail,maybe it is the wish of God that the weather held Prof ****** in New York

As you adviced,i am here writing the mail to His Majesty Prof *******.

HIS LORDSHIP PR0FF3SS0R GILTH0RP3.
I am T0sser 0gugu0 Nw0su from Ouagadougou Burkina Faso.
I became a member of the br0therhood of t0ssers in 2004 and after we gathered many members,we stated our little chapel in a makeshift that later became our church of worship after we did some renovations on the place which i singlehandedly handled by myself and my humble slapper.

I am hereby humbly craving your indulgence to inform you of all the misgivings frustrations and embarrasement that has befallen me since 2004 we i applied for funding for our church chapel.

We worship here under a very serious miserable conditions that has cost me a lot of our members.
We dont have the wherewithal to construct a decent chapel that wil accomodate all our members of the brotherhood comprising of almost 210 members hence my application for a chapel funding which was granted since 2005.

The first funds was transfered to me in 2006 which i could not receivebecause of some difficulties and i was subsequently informed that the funds was sent to a pastor of the church in Nigeria who will transfer them to me in Burkina Faso.

But i did not receive it till date.

After a serious struggle again,a pastor was dispatched from New York with our church fund which later he dissappeared with the funds and the funds were found to be missing.

I had suffered and lost a lot of human and material resources in the cause of running the brotherhood in Burkina Faso.

I was greatly humiliatedand my marriage to my wife and my slapper was put to the brink of collapse.
My baptism photograph where i was nude was put and seenon the internet by someone in the brotherhood.

People started accusing me of performing rituals which humiliated me and my dignity.My wife threatened for a divorce.

I informed His Majesty Elder ******** who intervened and wrote a compassionate letter to my wife and explained things to her that i was not in anyway doing rituals.

His Majesty Elder ********* knows of the genesis of my woes and plight with the brotherhood.
The agents of satan has stood on my way in building and establishing a strong brotherhood for my country.

In 2009,i was told again to proceed to Bamako Maili to receive our church funds for the chapel.

I went to Bamako Mali and upon my arrival in Mali,i startyed receiving all sorts of mail that why did i not inform them that i will arrive that day while it was the New York headquaters that gave me the tentative date to go to Mali.

I was teribly dissilusioned and was struck up in Mali because i had no money for my return journey and to stay in the hotel.

I had to sell off my belongings before i was able to come back from mali.

I have put in a lot to see to the spread of the brotherhood of tossers here in burkina faso.
Uptill today,it remained a misery,frustrations and misgivings that a fellow member of the brotherhood put my baptism photograph in the internet.

His Majesty Elder ********* tried his best to unravel who was behind this dastard act but all to no avail.

His LOrdship,i want you to use your good offices and consider my plight and come our rescue and use your good offices and initiatives to see that we receive our chapel funds to enable us build our chapel and go ahead to propagate the teachings of our beloved brotherhood on this part of the world.

Most of our brethren are frustrated and has left because of all these scenarios and development and i send you this SOS to save our chapel here from distintingration

With the building of a decent chapel for the brotherhood here in burkina faso,the tenets of the brotherhood will be spread in all nooks and corners of burkina faso for the glory of God.

Save us and lets have our chapel constructed .

May God in His Infinite mercies grant you a good health to continue with your good works you are doing for the brotherhood

His Majesty Elder ******** can brief you equally on my matter and the church funds.

Remain Shagged and twatted.
Thanks
T0SSER 0GUGU0 NW0SU.

He's really going to regret writing this..

Quote:

Most of our brethren are frustrated and has left because of all these scenarios and development

Posted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 8:51 pm

Well, that's a good start. Next he has to write it out by hand, yes?

Posted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 11:45 pm

I like the way you think Wink

One typed, and one handwritten copy would be best. Then I can easily publish one account of his sufferings anywhere, since people here always enjoy that.

He's done a little bit more, describing his holiday in Mali in a bit more detail..

Quote:

I went to Bamako Mali and upon my arrival in Mali,i stayed with a friend someone intoduced to me from Ouagadougou as his son and wrote to Dr Skellard that i have arrived in Bamako.
I started receiving all sorts of mail that why did i not inform them that i will arrive that day while it was the New York headquaters that gave me the tentative date to go to Mali.
When i got to Bamako,i wrote to them that i have arrived the previous day.

I waited for their response till the next day.Dr ***** wrote to me that he will be in the operating tent between
6 am and 9 pm every day and he will look forward to seeing you next week! and May GOD bless you and your congregation.
The next day again,Dr ****** wrote to me that Well, the requirements are that i bring yourself safely here, with the ID paper you got from the Tossers in New York and your passport which i travelled with..
And he said didn't indicate if i wanted us to bring me to the camp, or if i want soemone to bring the funds to me.but indicated it would be nice to meet me personally which i obliged,
but he said if i am in a hurry, that's ok, perhaps he'll visit the chapel one day when it's built.

The next dat again,Dr ******* wrote to me in my response that they should bring the funds to me in Bamako and said that Well, that's perfectly ok. that he mentioned this to me earlier that he can get the funds to me and that . he'll have to assign the task to another person, as
he won't be able to leave the camp.
When i started getting worried that i was not seeing anybody and i wrote to him Dr *******,he replied me and said that i am not coming to the camp,and so don't need a valid in-date ID and heI'll arrange for someone one of their pastors to drive out to your hotel as a matter of urgency.

I waited in the hotel lobby till 2 p.m and nobody came around to meet me.
I informed the hotel receptionist of my presence and copied my passport no and the number of my friends telephone which i collected from him and gave to the hotel receptionist in case anybody comes around looking for me.

After 2.30 p.m i wrote to Dr ******* again that i waited in the hotel from 6 a.m till 2.30 p.m and nobody was coming forth to meet me and that i will leave to where i was staying in the town which i equally gave the address accordingly
The next day,Dr ******* wrote to me and asked (What name are you booked into the hotel under? Our pastor drove to the hotel early this morning at daybreak only to be informed by the receptionist that nobody of your name was lodging there. Most strange. All our vehicles are on medical duty until early this evening. As a matter of great urgency, I will dispatch a pastor to you as soon as one becomnes available)

After some hours again,Dr ******* wrote to me again(I just came out of the operating room after a lengthy procedure, and must return in a few minutes. As I wrote earlier, we have no
vehicles to come to you until later this afternoon. Sit tight, and our Pastor will arrive with the money as soon as we have a jeep free to drive to you. Don't worry)

My worries heightened and i wrote to Dr ******* again and asked him that if this collection of funds will not work out,they should tell me so that i will make my arrangements to go back to Ouagadougou since i dont have money with me and he replied me(Tosser 0gugu0, why would it not work out? You are a few miles away, the money is here, we're going to get to you as soon as we have a vehicle to drive into town.
If only you had emailed Tafui or someone on monday, to say you were on the way, we could have done everything on Tuesday afternoon as we planned. And if
you had not told us you were staying in that hotel when you weren't, the money could have been handed to you very early this morning.
The pastor is waiting for our vehicle. I have the details of where you are staying. Just enjoy the city, you'll have the funds for the chapel soon.
I have to return to the operating room, an emrgency has just arrived)

I was equally informed to go to the hotel and wait the next and i went there and waited till 3 p.m and when i could not see any body nor any vehicle with the mark of Red cross as i was told,my worries heighetened again and i wrote to Dr ******* again and he replied and asked me whether am i sure i am in Bamako and that he dispatched a vehicule with a pastor to come and meet me in the hotel and the pastor was informed that i had left an hour ago.

But honestly and sincerely speaking,i was in the hotel lobby without food till 3 p.m and i wondered when the jeep with a mark red cross came to the hotel at 12 pm and left without seeing me.
So when i saw that everything is calculated to be turning me around,i decided to leave Bamako.

I was terribly dissilusioned and was struck up in Mali because i had no money for my return journey and to stay in the hotel.

** SUSPENDED ** Joined: 01 Nov 2010 Posts: 1161

Quote:

'Oguguo',5 years and ongoing

My god..................... Shocked

Posted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 12:54 am

My eyes get tired reading. Could he do a podcast ?

** SUSPENDED ** Joined: 01 Nov 2010 Posts: 1161

Quote:

SATISFIED CLIENTS:
"I was forced to sell off my designers black suit to be able to return back to Ouagadougou and on my coming back here my wife
took me to the cyber cafe and showed me the site where my photographs of circumcision was put on the net."-'Tosser' 0gugu0

I would kind of like to know more but part of me doesn't :/

Posted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 1:12 am

Well, if it gets to the stage where you can't stand not knowing...

http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=175534

http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=172788

Don't worry, the pics are there, but hidden under a link in the thread.

Posted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 1:34 am

That was HYSTERICAL! Let me know if you ever want the pic turned into the cover of a fake "Gay sex quarterly" Magazine! Wink

Posted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 1:37 am

I almost feel sorry for the lad. Almost. Laughing

Will he be making a 6th anniversary safari? Very Happy

Posted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 1:47 am

@ jose

I effing hope so Wink

Posted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 2:10 am

jose_cuervo wrote:

Will he be making a 6th anniversary safari? Very Happy

If I can stretch it another 9 or 10 months, yes Smile

He knows the calendar of church events throughout the year really well now, the Minge Festival, Festival of Bollocks and so on, these help keep him busy when things get a bit tedious.

First though, I need to get him to Ghana or somewhere for this year. I thought Christmas might be a good time to be stredded in Accra.

Posted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 2:17 am

Christmas is a wonderful time, indeed, to be stranded! Very Happy

My favorite thing about T0sser 0gugu0 is the surprised look on his face, in nearly all of his pictures. Do you have any recent ones? Laughing

Posted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 2:19 am

internationalchrysis wrote:

That was HYSTERICAL! Let me know if you ever want the pic turned into the cover of a fake "Gay sex quarterly" Magazine! Wink

Several baiters have done this, feel free to um, play around with it, use it in your baits, whatever.

He liked this one a lot....

Posted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 12:08 pm

jose_cuervo wrote:

My favorite thing about T0sser 0gugu0 is the surprised look on his face, in nearly all of his pictures. Do you have any recent ones? Laughing

The more recent ones show annoyance or embarrassment JC, in this one here, from a couple weeks back it's obvious he's been running around for much of the day trying to find people who still take him seriously enough to pose for his pictures.

I keep intending to put all the pics up in one place under one link, because each time I post about this bait, people who haven't seen him before want to see some of the history. New year's resolution.

Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2010 4:47 am

Very encouraging to see a Lad publishing his own bait. He's kept you on the hook for 5 years and you still haven't received a penny.... Laughing

Awesome as usual. Razz