A Lad Who Won't Let Go

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Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2010 9:21 am

There are the Lads who you want to hang on to; the one who become your pets and the providers of trophies and sandtimers, such as Vict0r W4lla, who you may recall.

Then there are the Lads who stick around for no fathomable reason, even when (in character) you've twigged to their scam and slapped hard.

Hearken to James Mitchell of the IMF in Ghana, who claimed to be able to send Captain Mal that pesky $7.5 million from Nigeria. After a dollar chop (which led to me extracting a bank account), things went acrimonious. The crunch came after an argument over money suppsoedly sent to the bank account, and the Lad included this (Lad in italics from here on):

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At the end of this transfer to you,whatever gratitude you which to show to the IMF should be at your own wish.

Mal's reply was... acid:

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As for showing gratitude to the IMF - that's about the most ham-fisted bribe approach that I've ever seen, and Iraq had plenty. You're getting nothing extra from me because you don't deserve it. I trust that's clear.

The Lad, in turn, was rather shrill:

Quote:

when i say gratification,have i asked you to send us money?do not make our job difficult to us or to tell the whole world that the IMF has asked you for a bribe.A THANK YOU FROM YOU IS GRATIFICATION TO THE IMF.And not necessarily money,pls choose your words carefully before you use them,we are here to serve you as instructed by the government of Ghana and the Ecowas countries involved.

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There's an old saying that goes, "If it walks like a duck, swims like a duck and quacks like a duck, then it's a duck". Your statement was a classic come-on for payola. All that was missing was the rubbing together of finger and thumb plus a huge wink.

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I've sussed it - these multiple payments are your form of payola. Very clever, but as the Eskimo said to the icebox salesman, I ain't buying it.
Either get this gorram thing going or I'll know this is some sort of shakedown, pure and simple.

Quote:

The IMF considers this email from you as an insult to us,what do you mean when you issue a statement like this that is our form of payola? Listen to me carefully,our duty is to serve humanity and not to be insulted in any form.... But if you feel that you will not be able to send the $520usd, the IMF shall not and will not hesitate to ask you to send us A WELL SIGNED HAND WRITTEN LETTER OF WITHDRAWAL as we shall not continue to argue or recieve more insults from you.

Oh, they will get more insults... but no gorram trophy! Who do they think they are?

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You're right, it was an insult, and now I find out that I made it with good reason.... I'm the victim of a scam perpetrated by you. You don't have my $7.5 million and you never have. My money (except for the first payment) has been returned and it's over.
I'm withdrawing all right - and it's too bad that your father didn't.

Quote:

Your words are not suprising to us anymore because you have taken it upon yourself to say whatever you wish as there is freedom of speech, we expect you to be wise and act more wisely rather than thinking that you have been a victim of scam perpetrated by,it is all insults that you are used and ready to justify your actions at anytime.... We hope to recieve the well signed withdrawal letter from you soon so that we can close your file.

Among other things, I fed him my standard story about the Somali fighter and the M-4 Masterkey.

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I do not intend to insult you but it is only an unwise man that will talk the way you are doing...we have made it clear to you that the IMF cannot be insulted by anyone,you might be an army captain,you may have blown someones head off but i want you to know that as i do my job and the right thing,i do not expect death for been right... send just the withdrawal letter to us

I sent this in 24-point bold:

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YOU'RE GORRAM BUSTED, ASSHOLE! DEAL WITH IT!

But...

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Stop talking this way and do what is right for us to process your $7.5 so that the bank can make the transfer to you,you are an elderly man and you know what is right,the IMF does not enjoys going into confrontations with our clients,this is not helping the IMF to deliver our assignments as expected by the Ecowas communities,try to put your anger aside and lets peace reign as we are committed to keeping to our promises,lets put our differences aside and keep on.... do the right thing... calm down your anger,the IMF knows you are angry but lets put anger away and move on.

Not acceptable!

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Listen, you little turd, I am not elderly - I'm 42, and I don't like snake oil merchants and bunco-steerers, especially smarmy little assholes like you...
You lose. Just do the world a favour and kill yourselves.

Ah, much better!

Quote:

we shall not go into any further arguement with you as you lack understanding about who and what you are,you think 42yrs is a kid that you should just open your mouth and rain insults on us the way you like?... you are a cheap liar and unrealistic person who know nothing or what he wants but to insult people because you are not wise... Enough of your stupidity and immatured attitude of opening your mouth wide even is we try to correct you to speak nonsense,we have known you to be a big liar and untruthful person,we wonder how you were made a military man when you do not have self respect.Make it clear to the IMF that you are a poor cheap military captain who is very broke and has no money to get what belongs to you but rather decided to use insults to cover up your hardship.We have seen that you are an unseriouse person and the IMF shall not be in such communication with you but to ask you to send us A WELL SIGNED HAND WRITTEN AUTHORIZATION LETTER OF WITHDRAWAL...

I didn't reply, so the Lad sent this under the title WE ARE WAITING!!:

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You have said all the lies you could say and insults as well,but the IMF wants you to know that we have nothing to say to you again but just waiting for you to send the WELL SIGNED HAND WRITTEN AUTHORIZATION LETTER OF WITHDRAWAL...

Does he really expect that letter?

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You're waiting? Get used to it! It'll be a cold day in hell with Old Nick snowboarding, and Uwe Boll winning an Oscar, before I do you people any favors.

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... at the end when you shall open up your mind to do the right thing it will be clear to you that the IMF Ghana never lied to you in anyway.We pray the truth comes to your heart and you do what is right to make the IMF process your fund for the bank to transfer it to you.

Does he really believe that Mal can be swayed?

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Like I said, you can wait, and keep waiting, because nothing is coming your way. I'm not sending money to scammers. Just stick that fact up your butt and swivel in it.

But just today:

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When you call the IMF Ghana scammers,you are only insulting our office,we cannot compare to send money to us for want you do not want or believe in... We may not really need anything from you at this time because we see that you have polluted your mind with your own thoughts... one last thing the IMF wants you to do and close up your file is just to humbly send us A WELL SIGNED HAND WRITTEN AUTHORIZATION LETTER OF WITHDRAWAL and we shall end all our dealings with you.

I wonder if my lawyer should write to him with a cease and desist order?

Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2010 12:22 pm

That's probably the most persistent lad I have ever seen. Why does he even want the letter in the first place? He'd have to be crazy to think you'll send it... crazy and desparate (I think he fits both descriptions).

Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2010 2:15 pm

I like persistent self baiting assholes. Put him through the churner once again unless you are really fed up with him, as this guy wouldn't know he was being baited if you hit him with a crane ball with 'you've been baited' printed in 10 ft high letters on the side Smile

Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2010 3:44 pm

You could of course ask him for a well signed handwritten letter requesting your well signed handwritten letter Confused

Not quite a Newb Joined: 05 Mar 2010 Posts: 26

Remember he's asking you to "humbly" send them a written request...

That's too bad. You're out of those forms and only have the Arrogant-formatted letters. Laughing