No effort and some great rants!

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Posted: Fri Nov 12, 2010 11:19 am

On one of my catchers, I have set up an automated response;

Quote:

U THINK U HAVE GOOD FORMATS? UR FORMATS R GOATSHIT.

EMAIL ME 4 GOOD FORMATS, I MAKE U TOP DOLLAR.

"fakeladsname"@gmail.com

0saze B3llo

Now sometimes this is fruitful, sometimes I get inquiring emails to the fake lad account, and I play oga.

Other times, I just get rants Smile

Quote:

ATTENTION U FUKING SMEALING BUSHMAN FOOL!!!

U DEY HEAVY DUMP OF SHEET! U NO GET ANY LEVEL. U JUST SMALL TIME YAHOO BOY. U DEY POOR INSPITE OF GOING TO CAFÉ. U NO DEY SHAME N STIL U DEY BATLE WITH LOTTO LEVEL. U NO SEE MCTN U HOLE LIFE. MUGU LIK U DON DIE DREAMING OF WESTY. GO FIND WORK. GO PUSH TRUCK OR GO DO CAR WASHBOY NA DAT BE UR DESTINY.

GO TO HISTORY NA MONKEY FUCK UNA MAMA OLOSHI OLIRIBURUKU BASTARD. UR MAMA ASHAWO MANY BROTHER SAY HER TOTO SMELL OF MONKEY BI IT SAID THAT SHE CHARGE BUSHMAN 5 NAIRA A TIME BUT DOG GO 4 FREE. UR SA BY NOW UR MAMA DON GET GOLORA, MAMA GO DIE FO HER SMEALING TOTO. UR ASHAWO SISTA OPEN HER TOTO FOR MONKEY NOW UR SISTA AM BELLE TO MONKEY U CAN CALL THAT ASHAWO N COMFIRM NOW.

I HAVE EAT MONIES FROM THIS GAME N ALSO KILLED FO THIS GAME ,SO NO PLAY WITH UR LIFE OR U GO DIE LIKE DOG AT ROAD SIDE.IF U SEEE ME, U GO RESPECT, U GO FEAR FACE. U GO BOW DOWN LIKE HALLOW CHAMBER FOR SENNATE

THE SHOWMAN
G-UNIT 4LIFE
NO SHAKING 4EVER
2MM (TOO MUCH MONEY)

and another from him

Quote:

HOW FAR U CAFÉ GUYMAN? U GO TRY CUT MY JOB? MUGU LIKE U? U FOCKING BASTARD WEY NO GET FATHER. UR MOTHER WAS ASHAWO BUT NOW SHE GO CARRY HIV N SHELEPLIS. WHO GO LET GOAT LIKE U ON INTERNETS? I ADVICE U GO STUCK U MAMA MENSURATION PAD IN U MOUTH.
HOW WHICH I FIT JUS KNOW U OR MAKE U KNOW ME, DEN U GO KNOW ME U SURE GO BOW FOR ME SMALL PICKIN LIK YOU . CLEAR ROAD… COS U GO DIE BY GUN ANYWERE WEN U DEY. MI CREW WILL GUN YOU DOWN................

I GO TAKE U NAME N FOTO TO HIGH PREST O OKIJA SHRINE, ALA OGBAGA MBAISE, KAMALU ABIRIBA N GOD O THUNDER OGUN. OGUN KILL YOU ANY TIME YOU HELD IRON,

FOR UR LIFE NOR EVERY WRITE ME BUT IF U TINK SAY NA MOUTH I DEY THEN WRITE BACK MAKE U SEE WAITING GO HAPPEN TO U.

U WANNA BIG UP MUGU? NA U DEAD BODY GO ENTER GRAVE.

THE SHOWMAN
G-UNIT 4LIFE
2MM (Too Much Money)

and from a Mr Sanusi Smile

Quote:

NA WA OO NOTHING OWU NO FITE DO, OWU DON DO U SO TEY U DEY GO ABOUT DEY INSULT PEOPLE WHEN NO NO SAY U DEY EXIST. WELL MY ADVICE FOR U BE SAY MAKE U QUITE THAT UR GANJA WHEN U DEY SMOKE BECAUSE I NO GOOD FOR UR BODY OK ?
WHEN NEXT U WRITE ME U WILL C WHAT WILL HAPPEN 2 U AND UR ENTIRE FAMILY

Not bad for doing nowt! Smile

Posted: Fri Nov 12, 2010 11:38 am

And here I have been, thinking you were such an innocent lass

Shocked

Brilliant Jill

although I know think of you as the slightly rough and been around Jill Laughing

Posted: Fri Nov 12, 2010 11:50 am

Quote:

G-UNIT 4LIFE

I'll let 'Fiddy' know and see if he'll do your lad a signed picture.

Laughing

Posted: Fri Nov 12, 2010 12:45 pm

Quote:

I ADVICE U GO STUCK U MAMA MENSURATION PAD IN U MOUTH.

Now that is just wrong. Seriously. Ugh!

insults and more · Posted: Fri Nov 12, 2010 5:07 pm

I tried using Gmail's filters + canned responses, but found it unusable for what I was trying to do. The problem is that it sends out the response immediately to every message that it matches, not just the first in a thread. So without careful tweaking of the search string, it'll fall apart very quickly. Even then, who knows if a few exchanges in an unfortunate phrasing pumps out the initial response?

My goal was to have a purely scripted bait from within Gmail's own tools.

You seem to have figured out the right way to use this, nice.

You may enjoy something I thought about doing, but decided not to: bring a bait to the WUxfer stage, create a vacation response that you will be travelling across the world, at your destination swiftly set up a dollachop or somesuch Wuxfer while writing from the airport lounge, and then vanish for a few weeks with the auto-response still on.

I tried this for a few days, rather than weeks. I found I got a ton of concerned messages wishing me a safe flight or wondering where I was. I really wonder how long one could push a bait using only a single vacation auto-response.

Afterwards, you could return and say something like "the last two weeks have been hell! My briefcase was stolen, along with my hotel key. I've been homeless." The lad should by then have spent weeks checking this account and seeing countless responses promising cash ("I'll write to you the moment I get off the plane with the payment information").

I think I'll try it in a few months on a batchbait of a few hundred lads, using a new character.

Posted: Fri Nov 12, 2010 5:51 pm

If I'm not mistaken I think those first two are from the guys in the mass insult thread in 'publish your work' forum. Their stuff is hilarious! I think my fake lad character has had a run in with them too.

Posted: Fri Nov 12, 2010 6:45 pm

Nice one Jill. Try asking for some of their photo ID and fake documents to make your life easier. Very Happy

Posted: Fri Nov 12, 2010 9:13 pm

Brilliant! Instant lad rants. TLJ, do you mind if I borrow the concept and tweak it around a bit (so it doesn't look like yours) to see what kind of responses I get?

Posted: Sat Nov 13, 2010 1:35 am

That has got to be thedevguy67. Laughing

Posted: Sat Nov 13, 2010 12:19 pm

Raga Man wrote:

Brilliant! Instant lad rants. TLJ, do you mind if I borrow the concept and tweak it around a bit (so it doesn't look like yours) to see what kind of responses I get?

Of course, be my guest! Smile

Posted: Fri Nov 19, 2010 4:23 pm

Another cracking one Smile

Quote:

BACK TO SENDER WIT UR RUBBISHES. I CAN SEE DAT U R STRONG STARK ILLITERATE NA CAN BARELY SPELL FEW WORDS ENGLISH. EDUCATION IS WEAK DEY UR BLOOD LINE NA NEVER DON CHANGE. NA UR MAMA STILL RUNNING AFTER MOTORS ON HIGH WAYS SELLING SWEETS CAUSE THERE IS GUY MAN WORK NA UR FORM TOO SHONKY TO CHOP MAGA. LET ME ASK U ONE QUESTION, DO U KNOW WHO BORN U? I BI UR PAPA U FULKING BASTARD. CONVICT LIKE U OF DI HIGHEST ORDER OLORIBURUKU NI YIN OOOOO E O NI SE ORIRE RARA. E O NI RI OUN TEN WA LAYE YIN OOOOOO. UNA SIDDON 4 CAFE NA SWEAT LIKE BIG ELEPHANT BUT ONLY GO CHOP LIKE TINY FLEA NI OOOO. HOMO BASTARD WIT SMOL BOI FORM LIKE URS ONLY BI FIT HANG ASHAWO PANT NA SUK CORK, OK? I DON OVERTAKE MUGU NA CHOP UR DOLLA EVERI TAIM. OH UR MAMA NAU SHE BI ASHAWO SELL HER SMELLY TOTO WORK FO MY BOYZ AFTER SHE CANT MAKE UNUF NAIRA SELLING OKRA SOUP FO SUPPORT UNA UR USELESS NICOMPOOL BROTHER. SHE CRY TO ME CAUSE SHE GET GLORIA NAU FROM TAKING CORK DEY HER YANSH. SHE REGRET UR STUPIDITY CAUSE U TRY FO BI GUY BUT U CANT EVEN MANUFACTURE MUGU WON TAIM. NA SHE BEG ME FIT GET U GIV UP 419 GAME CAUSE UR FAMILY IS DYING FROM STARVATION WIT UR FRUITLESS EFFORTS. COMPOUND DIRT MONKEY YAHOO BOI WITH UR SMOL SMOL GEE MAN STYLE, U NEVR GO CHOP MAGA WHOLE LIFE NA JUSS DON DIE DREAMING OF WESTY OOOOOOOO. CHURCH RAT LAIK U, GOD WILL PUNISH U NA UR ENTIRE SICK IMPOVERISHED GENERATION NAU!

Posted: Sat Nov 20, 2010 7:22 am

Tell him he's a SPIRITUAL SPAREHEAD. See what you get. Wink

Posted: Sat Nov 20, 2010 2:33 pm

The Showman is theDefguy. Sorry to dissappoint you Jill.

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Apr 2008 Posts: 1301

I love these rants. They are great source material for sending back to lads as a chopper character.

Posted: Sat Nov 20, 2010 3:45 pm

the vampire wrote:

The Showman is theDefguy. Sorry to dissappoint you Jill.

Why would I be disappointed? I don't care who it is Smile

Posted: Sun Nov 21, 2010 10:18 am

TheFae wrote:

Tell him he's a SPIRITUAL SPAREHEAD. See what you get. Wink

Well I did just that (and called him a goatfucker as an added incentive).

His response:

Quote:

MUMU U R A BUSHMAN OF DI HIGHEST ORDER. FIT U GO GET URSELF SOME EDUCATION NA LEARN HOW TO SPELLL PROPER ENGLISH BI FO U TRY NA BI GUY. BASTARD SON OF A HE GOAT WHO FULKED A BABOON WHO WAS UR SO CALLED MOTHER NA BORN OUT A MONKEY LAIK U. ILLITERATE APE NA UR MOTHER RAISED U ON DI FLOOR OF DI JUNGLE SUKING ANTS OUT OF THE GROUND USE STRIPS OF GRASS. MUMU ABEG U TELL ME WHY U WASTE UR TAIM NA NAIRA DROP FOR CAFE TO WRITE DIS RUBBISHES WETIN MAGA NEVER REPLY UR EMAIL ONE TAIM? U NEVER EVEN GET AUTO RESPOND. SMOL SMOL BOI FORM LAIKE URS NOT FIT EVER GET MUGU PAY BILL. AS U ARE JUST IDIOT WIT NO PROPER SCHOOLNG OR KNOWLEGES SO LET ME KINDLY ADVICE U ONE TING. U NEVER DON SEE WESTY WHOLE LIFE, OK? NAU DO URSELF FAVOR NA GO BAG TO UR POOR IGBO VILLAGE NA PUSH TRUK. STADIUM FOOL LAIK U, I HAFF NO MORE TAIM FO WASTE ON UR STUPIDTY WETIN I HAFF LOTS OF WORK TO DO MY CHAMBERS. CHURCH RAT BARBARIAN, GOD WILL PURNISH U NAU.

Posted: Sun Nov 21, 2010 10:47 am

It's ironic that they're making fun of your spelling and then writing almost incoherent nonsense where you have to think for a few seconds before you realize what they're trying to spell.

I'm learning lots of Nigerian slang, though. Or at least I'm pretty sure my guesses at what they mean are correct.

Posted: Sun Nov 21, 2010 11:52 am

Reading those rants, they seem to be written by a baiter, not a lad. Did you check the ip's Jill?

Posted: Sun Nov 21, 2010 12:15 pm

I guess it's a possibility, both email address from that particular lad are gmail so not possible to check.

Both his cover ids are standard fare - "Lamido Sanusi" and "Chief Mark David", and the fact that he's used two IDs/email addresses makes me think it's a legit lad and he's getting confused.

Posted: Sun Nov 21, 2010 3:54 pm

TheLovelyJill wrote:

the vampire wrote:

The Showman is theDefguy. Sorry to dissappoint you Jill.

Why would I be disappointed? I don't care who it is Smile

I think the vampire (and a few others) are just telling you that in at least one case, you are exchanging rants with another baiter here on Eater. Wink

thedevguy67uses the THE SHOWMAN in some of his rants to lads:

http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=1457253#1457253

Posted: Sun Nov 21, 2010 4:49 pm

^ Thedevguy is responsible for about 99% of all lad rants. They keep them and recycle as necessary they are so good.

Whether you get one from a lad or the great man himself, he is most likely the original author. Laughing

This is still a good idea though. Can I suggest something like this?

Quote:

I have read your last email and still don't believe it. Tell me more about what is involved.
Send me some credible ID so I can make up my mind.

Don't even argue that point.

Regards.

Which might eventually yield some suitable rants. Wink

Posted: Sun Nov 21, 2010 6:05 pm

Oh I see what you mean! Well anyway, it's a cracking set of rants Smile

Posted: Sun Nov 21, 2010 9:02 pm

TheLovelyJill wrote:

and from a Mr Sanusi Smile

Quote:

NA WA OO NOTHING OWU NO FITE DO, OWU DON DO U SO TEY U DEY GO ABOUT DEY INSULT PEOPLE WHEN NO NO SAY U DEY EXIST. WELL MY ADVICE FOR U BE SAY MAKE U QUITE THAT UR GANJA WHEN U DEY SMOKE BECAUSE I NO GOOD FOR UR BODY OK ?
WHEN NEXT U WRITE ME U WILL C WHAT WILL HAPPEN 2 U AND UR ENTIRE FAMILY

Not bad for doing nowt! Smile

Funny as hell. I am actually baiting Mr Sanusi and his barrister Mr William right now. He is upset because Mr Gomer chopped his dollar twice now.
He went so far as to make a fake account for my baiter character to throw me of the track. No luck however as i went ahead and taunted him for it. And why shouldn't i, Mr Gomer chopped him for $13.000. Laughing

Moderator Joined: 10 Jan 2007 Posts: 14513

I'm flattered, this lad is recycling my material. I originally penned the ones signed The Showman, but the others I have not seen before. Confused

Posted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 8:57 pm

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'd consider all of my baits successes if all I ever got out of them were just these kinds of responses!!

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