The 'One Love' Safari

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Posted: Fri Nov 19, 2010 8:30 am

Hello everyone! Meet Mr. Ch1byke. You might recognize him from Cuervo's safari that took Mr. C. from Lagos to Senegal. You can find that thread here. It was an incredible safari!

http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=188287&highlight=

Basically, this lad was supposed to go on a world tour with P.Diddy, and of course major problems ensued, and he found himself stredded in Senegal with his crew. He eventually made it back to Lagos.

Well, Cuervo passed him to me, and I decided to take a crack at him. Here is the idea:

My name is P4ul Anderson and I work for Paramount Pictures. I am making a documentary about an incredibly major 'Aid For Africa' concert that was going to happen in Cameroon, but got switched to the island of Malabo. Paramount wants me to fly into Abuja and travel south, getting some footage of Nigeria along the way. I also have something to deliver to Mr. C. from P.Diddy and Vandelay.

Ch1byke gets a message from Cuervo's character Art V4ndelay:

Quote:

Mr. Ch1byke,

Against my better judgement, I have decided to send you some money. Take
note, this money is out of my own pocket and in no way related to the
world tour contract. I fully expect to be reimbursed by you and your
company as soon as a court settlement is reached. I am sending you
$20,000 dollars in cash and Diddy asked me to send the Rolex watches
that he purchased for you and your artists for the world tour. There are
6 watches valued at $28,000 each. My nephew has a concert event in
Cameroon, coming up soon, and will be traveling through Nigeria. I have
asked him to make sure that the 6 Rolex watches and $20,000 in cash, are
delivered to you personally. I don't know any further details regarding
my nephew's trip, so I would suggest that you contact him immediately
and make arrangements to meet.

My nephew's name is Paul Anderson and his email address is
[email protected]

He will be expecting to hear from you.

I send him a short email saying hello, and after about a week of not hearing from the lad, I check my spam box and there were all of his messages. In the meantime he sends this to V4delay:

Quote:

hello sir.
thanks for your asisstant about sending me some fund but your
nephy have not giving time when his is going to nigeria,please
i want to ask for suggesstion please can you send the fund
through my bank account so i can pay some of my workers and
when your nephy is coming to nigeria you will now give him the
gifts item you guys brought for us.please to save time please
help me with this suggestion it will help me alot.
thanks for your understanding and cooperation sir.

Mr. V4ndelay doesn't like that. He responds:

Quote:

I offer to send you money, out of my own pocket, and rather than
appreciating my generosity, you insult me by suggesting that it is not
good enough to have the money and watches delivered to you personally. I
have a better suggestion. Maybe I should just keep my money and let you
wait until the court settles this.

You are a rude and ungrateful individual. I suppose that next, you will
be complaining that the watches are not to your liking because they are
not encrusted with diamonds. I have no further use for you and your
constant complaining. So let me know if you would prefer to accept the
money that I send, in the manner in which I send it, or if I should just
forget about it all together and let you wait.

Mr. Ch1byke makes another attempt to contact me:

Quote:

Hello Mr paul am Mr ch1byke from Nigeria ch1andiyke entertainment I was ask to contact you by Arthur V4ndelay I had a business with mr diddy but something came up.arthur v4ndelay was his attorney he told me to contact you that you are his nephew' that you are going Cameroon,but you are passing through my country Nigeria please they have something for me I will appreciate you call me or email me once you get this message please.

Thanks.

One love.

Ch1andiyke ENTERTAINMENT.

Why, yes, I have something for you. Might not be quite what you are expecting, but none the less.

Needless to say, Mr. Ch1byke is pretty shell shocked from his trip to Senegal, so he probably won't be doing any major traveling again. But he might take a nice sight seeing tour around Nigeria.

I give him a call (ps, this lad likes to talk on the phone, so some of these calls are pretty lengthy):

http://www.4shared.com/audio/nPTnu_4U/chisetup.html

After that, I email him the details:

Quote:

Mr. Ch1byke,

It was nice talking with you on the telephone.

As I said, I arrive in Abuja on Friday, November 12th at 5:35 pm. United Airlines flight 9100

I have signed up for a satellite internet provider today, that way I can take my laptop on the road with me and work on the footage as it is shot.

You need to come up with a fee to charge Paramount Pictures for your services. Normally, a guide would get $150 per day, plus a food allowance of $50. Let me know if you think that is fair, and I will get it approved for you.

My cell phone number is 813.xxx.xxxx

Many regards,

Paul

He doesn't understand what I mean about his compensation for being my guide, so I have to call him again. He tells me he wants me to bring him a laptop, and then he puts his WIFE on the phone to talk to me. She comes on around minute 5, and she also wants me to bring her a gift.

http://www.4shared.com/audio/31CdyG__/ChiandWife.html

Looks like Ch1byke has the OK from his wife to come on the trip! I don't know about you, but I get the feeling this woman is pretty intense.

I get this email from him the next day:

Quote:

Hello Paul

You have to send to me $500 for my transportation and accommodations in Abuja remember I told you that I don’t stay in Abuja. I live in Lagos so when you call me on phone today you have to tell me when you will be sending the money to me ok, because once you send this fee early I have no choice to leave Lagos the next day to Abuja to wait for you at the airport.

Please am waiting for your call today for we to finalize this my trip to Abuja.

one more thing dont forget the laptop i ask from you when coming to Abuja

Thanks for your understanding and cooperation

One love

ch1byke

I respond:

Quote:

Mr. Ch1byke,

I received this letter from Paramount Pictures:

Mr. Anderson,
There is no way we can advance monies for a job yet to be done. As a freelance journalist you know that we can only issue monies for services billed. If you want to issue an invoice for Mr. Chibykes services incrementally, that will be satisfactory. You will need him to scan and email a copy of his airline ticket, and his hotel bill. Then you can send that email to me and we can submit it to the accounting office.

That is the best I can do. Good luck with your upcoming documentary.

Jim Hargrove
Paramount Pictures Inc.

That is their answer. As for the computer, I am trying my best to get you one. I will have to lie and say that it is for me, and then claim that it broke during the trip. I am willing to do this for you.

What I am not willing to do, Sir, is have you tell me things I 'must' do. I don't like to be issued demands, especially from someone that I am going to hire for quite a bit of money, and also most likely give a FREE lap top to. Are we clear in that area?

Paul

After a day or so, I get a call from Ch1byke about the money he wants me to send him. He immediately puts his wife on the phone again and she starts SCREAMING at me. She keeps wanting to know the details of the trip, and says I HAVE to send him transportation money. Of the two, I think she is the one that learned a major lesson from Cuervo's safari.

I tell her to calm down and stop yelling at me, that I am getting very upset about being treated this way. She keeps screaming and Ch1byke takes the phone away and tells me to call him back in 6 hours.

I do so:

http://www.4shared.com/audio/WurOwQFF/Chidecidestocome.html

The day of departure arrives! I'm so excited to go to Nigeria! Uh oh, looks like my flight is late and I get stuck in Frankfurt Germany. Why doesn't anything ever go right during these damn safari's?

I email Ch1byke:

Quote:

Mr. Chibyke,

Due to my flight being late into Frankfurt, I've missed my connection to Abuja. I'm trying to locate an alternate flight. My phone battery is dead and my charger is in my luggage.

Can you email me the name of your hotel in Abuja? I'll just take a taxi there when I get in.

I hope you haven't left for the airport.

I am going to activate my satellite internet server, so I should be able to call you via my laptop as soon as that is activated.

-Paul

I give it a few hours and then call him:

http://www.4shared.com/audio/lpeGWM9L/missed_flight.html

he emails after our phone conversation:

Quote:

thanks for your message, but you have to tell me when you will arrive at the airport today or tomorrow,the hotel i lodge is not too fantaitc because am not with much money on me so i lodge on that cheap one.so as soon as you arrived at the airport please just call me so i may come over to pick you up at the airport to a very good hotel ok,
am waiting to hear from you as soon as you arrived at the airport just call me immediately.
thanks for your understanding and cooperation
one love.
ch1byke.

Looks like he made it up to Abuja!

In the coming days, things are going to go from bad to worse. Stay tuned.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 07 Oct 2010 Posts: 70

Nowhere Man,

You're a classic!

That woman sounds so scary! :S

I look forward to watching this one unfold. Very Happy

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Apr 2008 Posts: 1301

Fantastic indeed. What a shame he isn't lodged in a "fantaitc" hotel. I hope he'll be booking in to somewhere better soon.

Posted: Fri Nov 19, 2010 12:32 pm

Hmmm.. this looks promising! Very Happy

Posted: Fri Nov 19, 2010 4:26 pm

I'll watch this one! Smile

Posted: Sat Nov 20, 2010 7:33 am

Wow, NWM, dedicate your next pith to "wife, interrupted." Laughing

Posted: Sat Nov 20, 2010 7:34 am

Lets check in with our lad Ch1byke:

Looks like he made it up to Abuja--300+ miles from Lagos. Unfortunately, I missed my flight from Frankfurt to Abuja, so out of desperation, I make a stupid move--I get on the first flight to Nigeria, which puts me in Maiduguri. My luggage, however, goes to Abuja on the plane. In my luggage is $20,000 and 6 Rolex watches that were a gift from P.Diddy and Art Vandelay for Ch1byke. He doesn't know where I am at this point.

Sunday, November 14. Mr. Ch1byke has been waiting in Abuja for 3 days.

Ch1byke to Paul:

Quote:

you have to tell me when you will arrive at the airport today or tomorrow,the hotel i lodge is not too fantaitc because am not with much money on me so i lodge on that cheap one.so as soon as you arrived at the airport please just call me so i may come over to pick you up at the airport to a very good hotel ok,
am waiting to hear from you as soon as you arrived at the airport just call me immediately.
thanks for your understanding and cooperation
one love.
ch1byke.

Paul to Ch1byke:

Quote:

Mr. Ch1byke,

You wouldn't believe the time I am having. The closest place they could fly me into is Maiduguri. My luggage went somewhere else, including my very expensive camera. I am at an internet cafe here, trying to arrange another flight to Abuja. I am out of my element here. Not sure what to do.

Have you ever been to Maiduguri? Is it safe for me to be walking around?

Paul

He calls me about 10 times. I ignore them, then send him this:

Quote:

I am stranded in Maidiguri. No phone. Money in luggage. Help me.

Ch1byke to Paul:

Quote:

thanks for your message but am not happy about what you just sent to me.i have been expecting your call all this day but you keep on tell story.
where are you in Maiduguri?
what is the name of the place or street you are?
i want you to chart a car down to abuja?
listen i dont have any money with me remember you ask me to come to abuja which i did.my wife was not happy with me before i left to abuja because she said that you should send money for me to come to abuja which you did not agreed,but i tried to confused her before she agreed so the only money left in the house which i used to make this trip.so tell me when you are coming in.call me on pubic phone or emaill me now.
one love.
ch1byke.

Paul to Ch1byke:

Quote:

Mr. Ch1byke,

I am so sorry that things have gotten so complicated. I am pretty fucked here. All of my credit cards, computer, camera, etc, is in my luggage in Abuja. All I have is what little money I had on me when I left America. I stayed somewhere called the Durbei Motel, or something. Several things are going to happen today:

-My wife is going to wire me some money so that I can get a car or a bus to Abuja tomorrow. Also, I will be able to buy a phone charger and get my phone working again. I have your computer with me, so I am going to set up satellite internet so that I can have email and phone via internet.

-I have talked with the airline and they have agreed to deliver my luggage to you. I will need you to provide an address to where the luggage can be sent. In my luggage is your money and watches from Art, my camera that we are going to use to shoot the documentary, and my computer.

I will get back to you shortly. Do you understand all that I just told you?

Ch1byke to Paul:

Quote:

thanks for your message but i will prefer when you come over to abuja tomorrow so we can go together and get your luggage ok.i will want untill you come over because i have already booked a taxi for you and me tomorrow that will carry anywhere we wanna go.so do everything posible to come tomorrow,
thanks
one love.
ch1byke.

I thought that was a strange move on his part. Why didn't he agree to have my luggage, with all his money and watches and my laptop and camera, delivered to him while I am stranded a couple hundred miles away?

Paul to Ch1byke:

Quote:

I should be underway today. There is no cell phone charger that will fit my phone, but my satellite internet should be connected shortly.

Please give me an address in Abuja where I should come. I'll need something to give to the driver.

We are very behind on the documentary and must get it started as soon as we retrieve my luggage and camera. Where are you now?

Paul

Ch1byke tries to call me several times that night. I ignore them. He emails me repeatedly telling me to call him. I ignore those, too. The next day I call him and tell him I hired a driver to take me to Abuja. I make sure to crank up my Skype microphone, and then I lean into it really close and talk very loud, so all he hears is a distorted voice that sounds pretty desperate.

Ch1byke to Paul:

Quote:

thanks for your message.am so happy to hear this,when you get to abuja tell the driver to take you to this address kubwa villige no 10 katampe,please once you get to katampe tell the driver that he should make use of his phone to call me so that i can come out to pick you as soon as you arrived ok,because the number of the houses there is not serials. or once you get this message tell the driver that you like to use his phone to call your friend in abuja the driver will give you his phone all you have to do is to buy aircard on the phone them you can use it to update me on your coming so that i can direct you on how you will come to where i am ok.am waiting to hear from you soon.call 080xxxxxxxx.i have already made an arrangement on taxi that will carry us around,so if you arrived on time all you have to do is to call me immediately so i call the cab to come and pick you immediately ok.
thanks.
ch1byke.

I wait a day, and then call him:

http://www.4shared.com/audio/D0oc1Bf3/going_to_kano.html

and send him a message, as he requested:

Paul to Ch1byke:

Quote:

This is awful. I hired a driver with the little money that my wife sent me in Maiduguri. The driver blew a tire outside of Potiskum, so we had to get the car towed there to get fixed.

I got a hotel, and in the morning I found that the driver had left me! He vanished, and I had already paid him for the trip to Abuja--the thief.

So while I was getting something to eat I met a group of tourists from a church group that were going to Kano. They said they could take me there. But I don't have any money because everything is in my fucking luggage. I don't know what to do. This place is very different than America, and I don't feel very safe.

The church group said I could stay the night with them once we get to Kano. Can you come get me in Kano? I don't want to travel by myself anymore.

I don't have my video camera, but I am trying to take some photographs that are actually turning out nice. I will be able to use them for the documentary.

I have your computer with me, and am now connected to the satellite internet, so I can make phone calls--although you see that the quality isn't very great.

Ch1byke keeps sending short emails that ask me where I am and always end with his signature saying 'One love'

Paul to Ch1byke:

Quote:

Mr. Chibyke,

we are in a town called Kachako. The church group has made several stops along the way, and it is terribly slow going. I guess they are on a humanitarian mission. I wish I had my video camera because we are seeing some amazing things here in Nigeria. We should be in Kano in a couple of hours, and they will be taking me to their church headquarters there.

I wont know the address until I get there, but they tell me it is near Airport road. I will call you when we arrive.

Ch1byke to Paul:

Quote:

thanks for your update but am very worried about you.please ask one of them to talk to me on phone to enable me know the address where they are taking you i mean their church headquarters. because am already on the way to kano.remember that i have not been to kano before so all you have to do is to keep on calling me and direct me on how i can locate you.you have to make things very easy for me,give the church people my number for them to use it and call me now.this is very important for both of us.
once you recieve this mail just give me a call.am waiting for your call right now.
thanks.
one love.
ch1byke.

Does Ch1byke make it up to Kano? Will Paul ever recover his luggage? And what about this church group that Paul has taken up with--are they really who they say they are? These answers and more in the next installment of 'One Love', the safari.

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Jan 2009 Posts: 1440

I'm on the edge of my seat waiting for the next exciting installment!

Oh boy - Ol' "One Love" is going to catch some serious heat when (and IF) he ever gets home.

Posted: Sun Nov 21, 2010 4:19 am

HAHAHAAA!!!

What a tool, Mr. Chibyke is turning out to be. I am almost positive that his wife was the crazy lady, that ripped me a new one for "suffering these people", in Senegal. Laughing

He has written to Art (I have not replied).

One Love wrote:

Hello sir

Please am very sorry to worry you but since I came to receive your nephew in Abuja today will make it one week I left my family till now I have not see him. he keep on tell me different stories today in Madugari tomorrow Kano I don’t understand what is happening, this is similar thing that happen when we went to Dakar Senegal please I will appreciate you call your nephew and talk to him concerning my gifts and money I have been telling him to call me but for couple of days now he refuse calling me I don’t know why.

Please do call him and tell him to call me today.

Am running out of money because I have been spending money in the hotel for now I don’t have any dim with me any longer we did not bargain to spent such time in Abuja.

Thanks for your help and understanding.

One love.

Chibyke.

If (when) he returns home empty handed, she will have his testicles stuffed and mounted on the wall. Laughing

Posted: Sun Nov 21, 2010 7:44 am

@Cuervo: Yes, his wife is going to slaughter him. I am glad he is reaching out to you. You definitely know a lad is in pain when he is appealing to others to help him.

@The Fae: I like it. Wife, institutionalized. She is going to lose it. Somehow, I need to make sure I can call her later--just to record the outburst.

Ok, lets check back in with our hero Paul and our stredded lad Ch1byke.

Paul has been picked up by a church group that agreed to take him to Kano. Ch1byke, in Abuja, is thinking about making the trip up...does he?

Ch1byke to Paul

Quote:

hello paul,am sick and tired of all this problems i told you to call me or tell one of the church member to call me,i have reach kano since 2 hours but know where to find you, i dont know your location i ask you to send me the address of the church you said that they are the one helping you. uptill now i have not see any address or hear from you too.listen i left my family because of you remember my wife did not want me to come over to abuja but i did it for love.since last week thursday i left lagos to abuja i have not see you. i went to airport on friday last week to pick you up as you we disscus but the whole thing turn to be something else why? what is happing now i spent the last kobo with me and went to kano this early morning to pick you i got to sabo geri kano i waited for 2hours i did not hear from anybody know call know address to find you.
i have know choice to go back to lagos if i wait you uptill saturday been 20 nevember 2010 i did not see you because this was not our arrangement right from the being.

i suggesst you call me because am on my way back to abuja am close to zubuwa town closed to abuja.
this message is very urgent so call me today.
one love.
ch1byke.

I don't answer that mail for a while. Then, Ch1byke gets an email from the church group leader, Nathan:

Quote:

Hello Mr. Ch1bkye,

My name is Nathan. I am in charge of the church group that happened to
pick up Paul. We are going to get him down to Abuja today to pick up his
luggage. I understand his trip has been tough so far. Bless Jesus we
found him. As soon as we have picked up his luggage, I will call you and
arrange a place to meet. I look forward to it. Paul has had nothing but
good things to say about you. I understand you two are making a
documentary about the conditions in Africa. Sounds exciting, bless
Jesus.

I will be sending him in the care of Mr. Dankwabo, who has driven us
around Nigeria so far.

Many regards,

Nathan

He then gets an email from the driver, Dankwabo:

Quote:

Chibekye,

I gonna take your boy to Abuja later. I try call you but no answer.

I go to service Jesus Van later in morning and then we go to airport.

Paul very worried about you. He say there is gift to get to you and it already late.

Don't worry, I take care of your boy for you.

Dankwabo

That is the last Ch1byke hears from anyone for a day. He emails Dankwabo:

Quote:

Thanks for your message Mr. Dankwabo please once you arrive in Abuja I will appreciate you call me on my phone and tell me where you guy are so I will direct you on how you will locate me because I want to go to the airline with Mr. Paul together for security reasons okay. Thanks once again for your help and assistance to Mr. Paul.

God will bless you.

Ch1byke.

For some reason, the 10 hour drive from where I was to where I am now has taken 4 days. Damn these slow church groups! Keep in mind, Ch1byke really wants to go to the airport with me to claim my luggage.

He emails asking where I am and why I haven't been in touch:

Paul to Ch1byke:

Quote:

Didn't they get in touch with you? I gave your information to Mr. Logan who was supposed to call you and tell you of his plans for dropping me off in Abuja, he knows this area much better than I.

I was out taking pictures and expected that he would have done this already. I will speak with him, and call you when I get a chance.

Meanwhile, if you could get me copies of what you have spent so far on your trip I could submit it to accounting and get you paid while you are waiting for me.

By the way, I know your wife wasn't happy about you coming up here. Since there have been so many problems, would you like me to call her and explain the situation? That way, you won't have to deal with an angry woman. I know how angry wives can make life difficult.

Well, it was worth a try.

Ch1byke to Paul:

Quote:

Hello Mr. Paul this was not our agreement before I starting coming to Abuja since some couple of days now you have not call me why?

You don’t want to know how things are going on with me here in Abuja.

I want you to see me before you will go to carry your lunges I want to go with you and the person they are giving you for safety.

Tell them to call me today I have forwarded my phone number to them.

I will be waiting for your call and their own call too.

How do I get my gifts and money please?

Call me remember I don’t have any number I will use to get in touch with you.
That’s why I told you to tell Mr. Nathan to call me or give me his phone number.

Thanks for updating.

One love .
Chibyke.

That was actually 3 separate emails combined. He is getting pretty frustrated that I don't call him regularly. What can I do? my phone charger is with my luggage.

Finally, we are getting somewhere. Looks like we'll be leaving for Abuja soon.

Paul to Ch1byke:

Quote:

Mr. Chibyke,

I have contacted the airline to let them know that I will be there tomorrow to pick up my luggage. As soon as that happens, we can meet up and I will give you your items from Art.
Also, I would like to get you paid for the time and money you have spent.

I'm sorry communication has been so difficult. It will all be resolved tomorrow. Mr. Dankwabo is going to bring me down to Abuja in the morning.

He was supposed to call you. I have given him your contact information.

Dankwabo to Ch1byke:

Quote:

Chibekye,

I gonna take your boy to Abuja later. I try call you but no answer.

I go to service Jesus Van later in morning and then we go to airport.

Paul very worried about you. He say there is gift to get to you and it already late.

Don't worry, I take care of your boy for you.

Dankwabo

I go to sleep and call him in the morning:

http://www.4shared.com/audio/JRcpXOig/leavingforabuja.html

Looks like everything is progressing perfectly. I'll be in Abuja soon, Ch1byke will get his gifts, all will be well. Or....?

Much later, Ch1byke gets another message from Dankwabo:

Quote:

Your boy says there is a present of much value that we pick up for you.

He says that we need to get you first before we go to airport, but I tell him there is no time for that.

I think I want to see what this present is before I drop it off to you.

Dankwabo

Uh oh. Looks like Dankwabo is starting to be a questionable fellow. Ch1byke either ignores, or misses altogether, the gist of that email.

Ch1byke to Dankwabo:

Quote:

Hello Mr. Dankwabo thanks for your mail, but I really want to know where are you guys? Are in Abuja already? Please call me that the instruction I gave to him please do as I ask him ok .if we could not make to the airport today we can go to the airport first thing tomorrow morning.

Waiting to see you guys today.

Ch1byke.

Later that evening:

Dankwabo to Chibyke:

Quote:

No, we are not in Abuja yet. We had to stop in Kaduna for the night at Durbrar hotel. I got Paul drunk and he tells me about your package. He is feeling pretty sick right now. Maybe you share some of these watches and money with me?

Dankwabo

Ch1byke to Dankwabo:

Quote:

thanks for your mail.no problem about that ok.please i want you to bring him to my hotel before we go to the airport please.where are you guys.call me please i have been begging you to call me or give me your number so i will call you.

thanks.

chibyke.

Paul to Ch1byke:

Quote:

I am starting to dislike this Dankwabo fellow. Last night we stopped in a town for some reason, and lodged in a hotel.

While we were having dinner he brought me a drink and the next thing I knew it was morning and I was on the floor in our hotel room and my whole body ached. I feel very sick. I don't want to get back in this van with him, but I have no choice.

He told me he spoke with you on the telephone and you told him to pick up the luggage first and then come meet you. I guess that is what we are going to do. I want to get to Abuja and put all of this behind me. This documentary is way behind schedule.

Where can I find you once I get to Abuja? Can you give me the phone number and address of the hotel where you are staying.

Paul

Looks like Paul is in a bit of trouble. Dankwabo, the rogue, is now turning on him.

Ch1byke to Paul:

Quote:

Hello Mr. Paul am very hungry with you, you make me suffered here in Abuja why? I gave you an instruction on what to do you refuse and follow the person I don’t know off why Paul, the driver you are talking of I don’t know him, listen to me now I want you to call me immediately there is trouble don’t go to the airport without me because I have being to suspect the driver I have been telling him to call me he refused, I don’t know his plan.

I suggest you call me immediately you get this mail so I will tell you what to do. I ask him to send his phone number to me he refused. Please for your own good call me now. I did not call him I don’t have his phone number.

Call me fast am worried.

Remember I told you I suppose to leave Abuja today but because you said on your mail yesterday that you will be in Abuja yesterday morning that’s why I waited till today. am tired of all this stories about coming today or tomorrow, one more thing the whole people around me thinks that am a very big liar because of you what you have been telling me.

Thanks call me now am waiting for your call now I really want to tell you something.

One love

Ch1byke.

I wake up in the morning, and decide to turn things up a notch:

http://www.4shared.com/audio/kj9zhhRR/troublebrewing.html

I LOVE this phone call. Ch1byke is so worked up! I love how he says that he doesn't trust ANYONE in Nigeria! Hahahaha!

That is where we stand currently.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 28 Sep 2010 Posts: 10

NowhereMan, you're a genius at this.

The mix of panic, bewilderment and desparate need to believe and control, in his voice is a true joy.

Mind you, if the other option was a long trip home empty-handed to meet his missus, I'd be a tad on the panicky side too...

Posted: Sun Nov 21, 2010 12:03 pm

One of the best phone calls i've heard. That's how it sounds when a lad finally snaps. Great baiting NWM.

Posted: Sun Nov 21, 2010 2:37 pm

Poor Mr. Chibyke, he's at hit wit's end. I love it when baiters' imagination becomes lad reality. Laughing

One Love wrote:

Hello art
I wrote to you last time I did not hear from you even to show regards is on fair I don’t even have your phone number incase something came up and you guys call me a fool.

Am very worried about Mr. Paul your nephews. he called me yesterday that he have arrived in Abuja but the driver that carried him heard him, I don’t know what to do now.

I will appreciate you call me on my number so we can discus on this matter because I will be going back to Lagos anytime from now the money I had with me is finish,

Thanks waiting to hear from you.

One love.

Chiandiyke Entertainment.

Art wrote:

Mr. Chibyke,

I received your emails today. I am not sure what you mean, I have certainly not called you a fool. I have been very busy with the court proceedings and have been doing everything possible to win this case.

I have not been able to get in touch with Paul. I thought he was with you. What is happening?

Great baiting Nowhere Man! Thumbs up

Not quite a Newb Joined: 07 Oct 2010 Posts: 70

NWM,

That phone call was amazing! The exasperation, desperation and the need to be in control in his voice was something! You think he was a little bit angry? His wife is going to tear him a new one! Very Happy

I have no idea how you pull it off.

Professional baiting!

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Jan 2009 Posts: 1440

LOVE the lad desperation and panic. Outstanding!

I would pay to hear the dustup when he gets home. That woman is going to tear him apart. Laughing

Posted: Sun Nov 21, 2010 5:22 pm

Nice work, NWM!

I did enjoy emailing with Mr. Chi with my Janey character for Bluth. Glad to know he is being kept busy traveling while he waits until Dec 21 to ask for his payment again from her. Very Happy

Posted: Mon Nov 22, 2010 5:41 pm

Thanks guys! This has been a fun little safari. Lets check in with our lad.

The headline should be: KIDNAPPED!

Dankwabo sends this message to Ch1byke:

Quote:

I have Paul. You want to work out an exchange? You better do as I say.

Dankwabo

Ch1byke responds:

Quote:

Thanks for your mail. But I don’t understand what you are talking about? Please why are you behaving this way I ought you are a Christian. When you told me that you want me to share the items Mr. Paul brought to me I agreed to share it with you so what are you talking about again. Listen to me I have no time to spent in Abuja because I don’t leave in Abuja moreover I still have another client coming to Lagos by Tuesday, because I have been dealing with the white guys from American if am not responsible they will not been coming to me.

Thanks.

Dankwabo to Ch1byke:

Quote:

We are going to take him to Gombe. You know Gombe? I have a dealer lined up there.

I'm going to drive him there in the Jesus Van. I am willing to work with you. You talk to me thru Paul, I no give out my number to you.

Dankwabo

Uh oh. It looks like Paul is in trouble. He sends this message to Ch1byke:

Quote:

Why is this happening to us? I am very scared. Dankwabo says he wants to take me somewhere and have you come and get me. He is trying to make me give him some of your money and watches. I hate being in Nigeria. I never should have come here.

He says if I don't give him what he wants I am going to be in big trouble. I don't know what to do.

They blindfolded me and took me on a drive and now we are in a house somewhere. I feel like I am nowhere man.

please tell me what I should do? this is your country.

Ch1byke isn't very helpful. He sends this reply:

Quote:

Am worried about everything I don’t know what to say tell them to leave.

Ok. I'll just tell the kidnappers to leave. Lets try that.

Paul to Ch1byke:

Quote:

I tried to do what you say. I told them to leave. They said 'no'.

Tonight we have been driving for hours and pulled into a hotel. they said you know exactly where they are going. they say they are going to drop me off, and you will pick me up.

please Mr. Ch1byke, I know things have gone horribly wrong for you--but put yourself in my shoes! I have a family. I am in a strange country, and now I have been kidnapped. You are the only person that can save me. i will give you anything. the clothes on my back. anything! you have a nice wife, imagine how my wife must feel. i don't know if I can live thru this, this is horrible.

they say they are taking me to Gumby (?). There must be a Pokey there that they can drop me off. Right now I am nowhere. Man, this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me.

I don't think they are violent, they just want my things. my camera. your watches and money. they say they are willing to work out a deal.

Dankwabo doesn't like the telephone, but I think I can get him on if you agree to come pick me up.

Ch1byke sends a message to Dankwabo:

Quote:

Listen Mr. Man I don’t have time for all this. I don’t know Gombe and am not going to Gombe. so for your own good. You can take everything but leave his phone for him for easy commication .Remember if anything happen to him god will ask you people why I ought you were a nice person.

Remember by tomorrow I will be on my way to Lagos.

So if he is nice for you to leave him just do that.

Thanks.

Chibyke.

Ch1byke to Paul:

Quote:

Listen Paul I don’t have any money to come to gombe. I will be going back to Lagos by tomorrow morning

Tell them you want to talk to me.

So call me.

Thanks

One love.

Chibyke.

That is where we are. It looks like Ch1byke will probably be heading back to Lagos. Once he is there we can get that phone call in and have his wife flip out.

I will say one thing, Ch1byke is showing more concern for Pauls well being than I thought he would. He actually told Dankwabo to take everything--money, watches (remember, that is $20,000 and 6 rolex watches courtesy of P.Diddy and Art V4ndelay--but leave me my cell phone so that I can call for help.[/quote]

Posted: Mon Nov 22, 2010 5:47 pm

I gotta hand it to ya, NM - you're a regular safari machine!

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Jan 2009 Posts: 1440

What an exciting adventure for Mr. One Love!

Quote:

they say they are taking me to Gumby (?). There must be a Pokey there

Posted: Mon Nov 22, 2010 6:33 pm

Love the phone call.

NWM, is that your regular voice? Laughing

Posted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 4:16 am

/\/\/\ I am convinced that NWM is actually Dana Carvey. Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 29 Jan 2008 Posts: 2531 Location: AU

nwm
I think you should check in with his wife to see how she feels.

Posted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 7:39 am

@Bankster. No, I wish. Wouldn't it be great to sound like Jimmy Stewart in real life!

@Cuervo. I think Ch1bykes wife would beat me like that angry mob if she ever met me. Any more emails from our 'lad in common'?

@Master: I emailed Ch1byke asking if I could call his wife and explain things. He ignored that. I think once he gets home and I call she will take over. Man, I'm looking forward to that phone call!

Ch1byke says he is going back to Lagos today. Waiting on an email from him.

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Apr 2008 Posts: 1301

I think all readers of this bait are so looking forward to hearing the reaction of the wife from hell. This bait has it all!

Posted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 2:24 pm

Two emails yesterday. I'm not going to reply because I'm busy with the court case. Laughing

One Love wrote:

Thanks for your mail, I have not seen Paul he wrote me a mail that the driver held him hostage so I will want you to call him now and ask him some question about where he is,

Secondly I want you to give me your contact phone number incase.

Once you get this message please do call me immediately for me to know the next step to take.

Thanks

Chibyke.

One Love wrote:

Hell o art

Paul wrote to me that the driver is taking him to a state call gombe .they said I should come there to pick him. but For now I don’t have any dim with me I will appreciate you to help me with some money for transport down to the gombe state to pick him back to Abuja or Lagos because they kidnap him for some days now.

Secondly give me your contact number for easy Commication

Call me it very urgent because by tomorrow I will be going back to Lagos my station.

Thanks

One love

Chibyke.