Too Hard...Too Soon

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Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2004 11:03 am

I've just been digging through my floppies, and found my first ever bait.
It is something that I am not terribly proud of...but thought it would be quite good to demonstrate, particularly to any newcomers how rushing a bait can end it quickly:

It all started with this:

Quote:

Original Message
From: "abdul"<[email protected]>
Subject: PLEASE HELP ME. FROM MISS WUMI.
Date: Sat, 03 Jul 2004 16:29:19 +0200

Dear Respectful One,

GREETINGS,

Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into
business relationship with you. I got your contact
from the International web site directory.

I prayed over it and selected your name among other
names due to it's esteeming nature and the
recommendations given to me as a reputable and trust
worthy person I can do business with and by
their recommenddations I must not hesitate to confide
in your for this simple and sincere business.

I am Wumi Abdul; the only Daughter of late Mr and
Mrs George Abdul. My father was a very wealthy cocoa
merchant in Abidjan,the economic capital
of Ivory Coast before he was poisoned to death by his
business associates on one of their outing to discus
on a business deal.

When my mother died on the 21st October 1984, my
father took me and my younger brother special because
we are motherless. Before the death of my father on
30th June 2003 in a private hospital here in Abidjan.
He secretly called me on his bedside and told me that
he has a sum of $20.500.000 (Twenty Million, five
hundred thousand dollars) left in a suspense account
in IVORY COAST, that he used my name
as his first Daughter for the next of kin in deposit
of the fund.

He also explained to me that it was because of this
wealth and some huge amount of money his business
associates supposed to balance his from the deal they
had that he was poisoned by his business associates,
that I should seek for a God fearing foreign partner
in a country of my choice where I will transfer this
money and use it for investment purpose, (such as
real estate management).

Sir, we are honourably seeking your assistance in the
following ways.

1) To provide a Bank account where this money would be
transferred to.

2) To serve as the guardian of this since I am a girl
of 26 years.

Moreover Sir, we are willing to offer you 10% of the
sum as compensation for effort input after the
successful transfer of this fund to your designate
account overseas.

Anticipating to hear from you soon.

Thanks and God Bless.

Best regards.

Miss Wumi Abdul

NB: My Younger brother Hassan is also with me.

How could I resist this young girl�s plight?

Quote:

Robert Ublind
Vortex Investment Ltd
Waterloo Conveniences
Stalls 3 � 6
London W1

Dear Miss Abdul

Or may I call you by your first name�Wumi? It is with great interest that I read your letter. You appear to have had your fair share of bad luck.

I am not really sure how you�re your letter arrived on my desk, but thank your lucky stars that it did. If anyone is in a position to help you then it is I.

As you are probably aware Vortex Investments was first set up in 1987 to provide aid for up and coming film directors such as myself. In fact you may have already seen a couple of my movies which have included �The Whipping Nuns of Dulwich� and �Gay Boys in Bondage� (which incidentally took 1st prize at the golden globes last year.)

The film industry has proved to be very lucrative and nets over $50,000,000 a year for Vortex. So as you can see the money really isn�t the problem� what matters now is helping your dear brother and yourself out of this mess as quickly as possible.

Please send me more details by return post and then maybe I can assist you both. Also I would consider it very kind if you could tell me a little about yourself. For example�are you married? Would you like to appear in films or would the Hollywood lifestyle not appeal to you? Let me know soonest.

Affectionately� yours.

Rob

And so�

Quote:

Dear Rob Ublind,

I have just receive your mail and all content is quite understood.

well i will please advise that you send me your phone number and your fax
number, to enable me send you the contact of the bank where my late father
deposit this money before his dealth,[Dealth�I think I like that. It sounds much better than dying!] for you to contact them as my late
father foreign partner who his coming for the claim.

However, i am not married, regard to your question, am just 26 yrs old and my
brother hassan is 24 yrs.

thanks and remain bless, as i wait to here from you, for us to proceed
immediately without any delay because i realy want to invest this money with
you in your country and i hope you will not betraid me if you receive this
money in your account before my arrival, becuase this fund is the only hope i
have in life.

Yours Faithfully,
Miss Wumi.

God that last paragraph brought tears to my eyes. I send a couple of phone No-s, two of which are public telephones at London Underground.

Quote:

Robert Ublind
Vortex Investment Ltd
Waterloo Conveniences
Stalls 3 � 6
London W1

Dearest Wumi.

I hope this letter finds you both well and full of good spirits. I myself am full of spirits particularly after getting rat arsed in the Pig & Whistle last night.

You are quite lucky that you caught me as I have only just got back from filming and shooting it up with Janie Johnson in New York. Next week we are hoping to actually put film in the camera and get it onto the market. Hopefully that will put a few more smackaroonies into the bank.

My phone number as requested is: +44 01 1225-448960 or 61 depending on which one is free.
If you can�t manage to reach me there as it is often very busy in the office, then you can reach me in an emergency on my exclusive number (but please note) this is my private line and must remain secret! The No is:
206-350-2282.

Also because I get a lot of crank calls from eager young girls that always want me to make them into Hollywood movie stars, I think that we should have a secret code word between us so that I will know it is you. How about if we use the name of my present film Doggie?

So each time you write or call please use the secret code words, �I like it Doggie Style� and then I will know that it is to you or your brother with whom I am communicating.

On a lighter note, I would really like to get to know you better Wumi, you sound really charming. Have you given it any thought as to what you will be doing after we have successfully finished transferring the funds? I could probably get you a film contract but the pay would only be quite small for the first year, say about $35,000 per week. But if you work hard and are prepared to attend acting lessons, then it would increase to around $100,000 per movie.

Let me know what you think in your next letter, and perhaps you could send me a nice photo as well.

Affectionately yours.

Rob

Wumi replies but has forgotten the codeword. She also appears to have adopted me as her Uncle for some reason�some Uncle I�m going to turn out to be�

Quote:

Dear Uncle Rob,

Thanks for your mail.

As a matter of fact i will please advise that you reach the bank soon as you
receive this mail, to enable them arrange for the transfer of the fund to your
nominated account in your country, because i beleive you are a truthfull
person to do this transaction with me, that is why am disclosing this contact
to you and you should please co-opearate with the bank, for them to assist us
transfer this fund to you without any delay, because i realy want to invest
this money with you in your country.

please below is the contact of the bank.

NAME/ Dr henry mohammed(managing director of the bank)
Tell: 225 07 44 63 46.
Fax:225 20 37 37 55.
Email address([email protected])

please do contact the bank soon as you receive this mail and try and update me
on afer you gone with them.

thanks and remain bless.

From
Miss Wumi.

I remind Wumi about the codeword�

Quote:

Robert Ublind
Vortex Investment Ltd
Waterloo Conveniences
Stalls 3 � 6
London W1

(Codeword�I like it Doggie Style)

My dearest Wumi.

Thank you for your e-mail it was well understood. I shall contact the bank immediately, and then inform you of their reply.

Please Wumi it is most important that you include our secret codeword when writing or phoning. Otherwise how shall I know that it is really you? Only this morning Paris Hilton e-mailed me, and for a minute I thought that perhaps it was you playing a joke on me! It would be awful if I transferred the $100,000 dollars for her new video to your account by mistake! So please it is really important that you include the words� �I like it Doggie Style� in all our correspondence.

Yours Affectionately

Rob Ublind

Then I write to the bank as requested�

Quote:

Robert Ublind
Vortex Investment Ltd
Waterloo Conveniences
Stalls 3 � 6
London W1

REF: ATTENTION DR HENRY MOHAMMED

Dear Dr Henry

I am writing this letter on behalf of Miss Wumi Abdul and her brother Hussan.

Please forward any documentation pertaining to the immediate release of funds as soon as possible.

Yours Sincerely

Rob Ublind (Chairman)

The bank quickly forwards me this. It was interesting to note that the address contained a new name�a Mr Bello Oseey.

Quote:

ATTN/ MR ROB UBLIND,

FROM THE DESK OF BIAOBANK MANAGING DIRECTOR.

DR HENRY MOHAMMED.

THIS IS TO INFORM YOU THAT MISS WUMI AS DEPOSITED THE SUM OF TWENTY MILLION AND FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS WITH OUR BANK HERE AND SHE HAS ALSO INTRODUCE YOU TO US AS HIS [Looks as though Wumi has suddenly changed sex] FATHER'S FOREIGN PATNER WHO IS COMING FOR THE CLAIM.

PLEASE THE FOLLOWING HIS NEEDED FROM YOU,TO ENABLE US TRANSFER THE FUND TO YOU.

1. THE CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT.
2. THE AGREEMENT CERTIFICATE.
3. AFIDAVITE DOCUMENT THAT YOU WILL USE IN DOING THE CHANGE OF OWNERSHILP AS THE MAIN BENEFICIARRY OWNER OF THE FUND.

SO WE HERE BY ADVISE THAT YOU COME DOWN OR YOU LOOK FOR A LAWYER THAT WILL REPRESENT YOU HERE,TO SIGN THE NECESSARY DOCUMENT WHICH WILL ENABLE US TRANSFER YOUR SAID FUND TO YOU IMMEDIATELY WITHOUT ANY DELAY.

MIND YOU,YOU ARE ALSO ADVISE TO SEND US YOUR FULL CONTACT, YOUR PHONE NUMBER,YOUR FAX NUMBER AND ALSO YOUR ACCOUNT NUMBER WHERE THIS MONEY WILL BE TRANSFER TO.

WE WAIT TO HERE FROM YOU, SOON AS POSSIBLE..

FOR MORE INFORMATION,YOU CAN REACH OUR DIRECT LINE 225 07 44 63 46. [Already checked. it�s a mobile phone]

GOOD DAY, AS WE SERVE YOU BETTER FOR FUTURE.

FROM BIAOBANK MANAGING DIRECTOR.

DR HENRY MOHAMMED.

Wumi quickly gets in touch and even remembers the codeword.

Quote:

(doggie style)

Dear Robert,

please afer have you gone with the bank?

from Miss Wumi.

Mmm seems I�m no longer her Uncle.

Quote:

Robert Ublind
Vortex Investment Ltd
Waterloo Conveniences
Stalls 3 � 6
London W1

(Codeword�I like it Doggie style)

Dearest Wumi.

Wow what a time I have had. I have just received a letter from the bank but I am very concerned that maybe someone is trying to steal yours and your brother�s inheritance. The letter was signed by Mr Henry Mohammed but it came from someone called�Mr Bello Oseey.

Now who the blaze is Bello Oseey? I thought that this had to be kept confidential between ourselves? Just let me know dearest if you know this man or not.

I would hate for anybody to come between us during this critical stage of our transactions. There are just too many disreputable people out there that are only too eager to steal all your money.

At least you know you will be able to depend on me and that I will do everything in my power to help you achieve your goal.

The bank requested some follow up letters, which I presume you will forward to me. Until then my love, don�t worry your pretty little head. I will always be here to ensure that I can give it to you good and proper when we eventually sort this mess out.

Reply soon.

Uncle Rob

Wumi then responds �

Quote:

Doggie style

Dear Robert Ublind,

Please this is the deposit certificate and the agreement certificate which you will send to the bank, for them to transfer the money to you immediately.

please attach is the document, why the affidavite document is what we will look for a lawyer here that will represent you to sign the necessary document or you come down.

waiting to here from you.

From Miss Wumi.

And attaches these�if you look carefully at the signatures you can see the where some amateurish adjustments have been made�

I forward them on to the bank�

Quote:

Robert Ublind
Vortex Investment Ltd
Waterloo Conveniences
Stalls 3 � 6
London W1

REF: ATTENTION DR HENRY MOHAMMED

Dear Doc Henry.

Please find attached the relevant documentation as requested.

Rob Ublind (Chairman)

And then contact Wumi�

Quote:

Robert Ublind
Vortex Investment Ltd
Waterloo Conveniences
Stalls 3 � 6
London W1

(Codeword�I like it Doggie style)

My dearest Wumi

I was beginning to worry that you had forgotten all about me. I have received your documents and will forward them onto the bank just as soon as I have finished shagging Paris.

God she really is a randy bitch, she won�t leave me alone. I suppose it�s something to do with her hormones. It can�t be my money she is after because she�s a millionaire in her own right. I guess she just likes to get dirty once in a while.

I don�t suppose your brother Hassan is looking for a nice rich girlfriend is he? Perhaps he could take her off my hands and give her a really good seeing too. I�ll attach her picture and then he can tell me what he thinks.

In the meantime Wumi I am beginning to doubt your sincerity in all this. Here I am heated up at the crotch and you still haven�t sent me your photo yet! It seems that I am the only one doing all the work.

Please send me one, just to show your sincerity. If it could include our special codeword �I Like it Doggie Style� then that would be even better.

Write soon

All my love

Rob.

I also attach a photo of Paris�

It seems our little Wumi is dimmer than we thought. She sends me this�

Quote:

Dear Uncle Robert,
uncle robert afer have you gone with the bank for the transfer of the money to you, becuase i wonder why i have not had from you till now.

please i want you to reach me soon as you receive this mail.

thanks and remain bless.

From Miss Wumi.

So I slap her again�

Quote:

Robert Ublind
Vortex Investment Ltd
Waterloo Conveniences
Stalls 3 � 6
London W1

(Codeword�I like it Doggie style)

Dear Wumi

It seems that I am not making myself clear. I will remind you once again that you appear to have forgotten our codeword. I really cannot stress how important it is. Failure to comply in future will result in me ignoring your letters.

Remember Wumi, it was you who asked me for help. I am a very busy man and I cannot afford to waste time on trivial matters.

Also could you please reaffirm your e-mail address as it keeps changing like the wind!

In answer to your letter, yes I have forwarded all documentation and am waiting for a reply. In case you didn�t receive my last e-mail I have copied it below�

I then attach a copy of the previous letter. The next day I receive this�

Quote:

Dear Rob,

Mr robert ublind i am very disapointed on you because as ealier i have put all hope on you that you can assist me, but due to what i had from the bank, they told me that they have reach you to activate the account where my late father deposit this money before his dealth, because as you know the money was deposited as a suspence account not in your name; that is why the bank want you to activate the account which they open in your name, to enable them lodje the fund in it for onward transfer to you.

please if you know you are not capable to assist me, you better let me know on time, to enable me look for another person that will be capable to help because this transaction is not a child play, which i told you ealier that this money is the only hope i have in life.

thanks as i wait to here from you on this issue.

From Miss Wumi.

Time for another good slapping�

Quote:

Robert Ublind
Vortex Investment Ltd
Waterloo Conveniences
Stalls 3 � 6
London W1

(Codeword�I like it Doggie style)

Now listen here my little slapper. Just who the fuck do you think you are talking too?

I have been very nice about all this and sent you and your brother numerous letters. I forwarded the papers you sent me to the bank as requested and they have chosen to ignore me�despite numerous attempts on my part to rush them along.

Remember it was YOU who approached me for assistance in the first place. I have just about put everything on hold in an effort to do so! If you and that lazy fucking brother of yours would get off your fat lazy arses and open your e-mail account. Then you would see what a couple of amateurish fucking clowns you really are.

I take great exception at being chastised for your mistakes and demand an immediate apology.

I have also explained numerous times about the need for secrecy and the use of the codeword. If you cannot follow the simplest of rules then please don�t contact me again.

The simple fact is my little cumslut�if you want my assistance and co-operation�then read your fucking e-mails before you start shouting me down. There�s plenty more shags in the sea!

Rob Ublind

That was the last I ever heard. Looking back I can see that as a beginner I was too intent at getting everything my own way. I slapped too early and too strong.

Please newcomers learn from my mistake and always remember:
"Slowly...slowly...catchee monkey!"

Guest

Thanks Cherrie. After your comments on my first bait the other day and reading this, it has become more clear what I need to do with my baits. I will slowly drag them on and on forever wasting their time until they break. No more going for the throat so quickly. BTW, that was an entertaining first bait nonetheless.

Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2004 1:34 pm

Thanks leaker I'm glad that you read it...see I don't talk out of my hat all the time Laughing

Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2004 1:45 pm

Hi Cherrie

That was turning into a great story, a shame it had to end quite so soon. Very enjoyable, and forms to boot!

Oh yeah... that Paris is a fox... good choice Wink