Mal and Mr Mitchell aren't getting on...

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Posted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 8:47 pm

W4yne Mitchell (IMF REPRESENTATIVE) hasn't been having much luck with Captain Mal.

First off I didn't believe him about the money being in Ghana - it was supposed to be at JFK airport - and then I was told that I was getting $20 million, of which $12.5 million was compensation. I told them:

Quote:

I'm not accepting that $12.5 million. I don't know why it was added and I don't want it.

Fair enough, thinks the Lad:

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The bank has handled the situation as requested by you,so our focus now is on how your $7.5 can be transferred to you,as i told you
earlier,we need an approval letter from the high court of justice Ghana for the bank to start the transfer to you and the court demanded that since you the owner/beneficiary of the fund is not here,we must provide the payment slip of the $520usd from western union money transfer that has your name and destination on it and the $520usd in cash to them as a prove that you are aware and responsible for the initial payment, processing and possible transfer of your fund to you before they will grant the approval letter to the bank.We hope to hear from you soon with the payment information...

Just hold on, says Mal:

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There's no point in getting the transfer letter for the $20 million. Get the excess removed and I'll see to it.

No worries, says Wayne:

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You have nothing to worry about the additional $12.5,the IMF has asked the bank to remove it and add it to the beneficiary who received the least compensation as instructed by the office of the president and
that shall be done in less than 24 hours and i will get back to you
tomoorw as soon as that is done.

Not so fast!

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I said that the money was to be paid to a charity! Why did you ignore me?

At this point Wayne had a brain fart and a conniption:

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Whose money you want us to pay to the charity organization, its the compensations money or your $7.5 million us dollar? and beside you are not the one who will tells what to do, i want you to answer this question then i know the next step to follow how this will be done as usual.

This is where things got acrid:

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You are either very stupid or just making trouble for the hell of it. I am of course talking about the excess $12.5 million! And since you were willing to give it to me, I have to right to say where it goes, right?

Wayne wasn't happy:

Quote:

We expected you to be more matured than just sending a mail like this to us telling me that is either i am very stupid or trying to make trouble out of this.Have i said anything wrong to deserve this kind of mail from you?You said that you do not want the additional $12.5 added to you as compensation and the bank has been instructed to remove it and add it to the lowest compensated beneficiary as instructed from the office of the president which the bank has carried out but how can you come up and instruct us to defy the authority of the president?if you want money to be given to the charity then it should be your $7.5,if you agree to that then you will be expected to send us a letter approving the give away to the charity but if not then you must try to make sure that you are able to send the $520usd needed to get the approval letter from the court to enable the bank start transferring your fund to you.We hope to hear from you soon to enable what is necessary to be carried out.

So I ask for something I know the Lads won't like:

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You asked a stupid question and it deserved a suitable acrid response. I'll reserve judgement on what your answer proves.
The ICB seem to be of one mind with you. I don't know why your gorram president would hand money over to some schleb who doesn't deserve it, but if you don't want a charity to benefit, that's his call.
Send me an invoice for that fee and let's get this done.

No surprises:

Quote:

You talked about invoice,what invoice do you want to see?is it for your $7.5 or for the $12.5? it is the duty of the bank to disclose such to you, one thing i want you to know is that our duty as the IMF is to make sure that every beneficiary's fund is safely transferred to him or her and not to be facing arguments or doubts from any beneficiary,from the onset you did not believe that your $7,5m has been tranferred to Ghana the headquarters of such fund transfers and for that reason you will continue to argue with the IMF and our office will not give room to such unbelieve, so therefore for any beneficiary who is not ready or willing to send the $520usd to enable us pay the high court of justice Ghana to obtain the approval letter for the transfer to be made as soon as we submit the payment slip from western union money transfer that has your name and destination before the approval letter shall be granted as demanded by the high court should quickly and personally send to us A WELL SIGNED HAND WRITTEN AUTHORIZATION LETTER OF WITHDRAWAL stating that for one reason or the other he or she does not need this funds again and that another beneficiary should benefit it and the court will grant us a change of ownership right to do so.

That deserves a nice brief answer:

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The invoice is for the $520 fee, as I stated quite clearly. I know that you seem to be unable to grasp simple facts, so I'll tell you again; send me the invoice for the $520 fee and let's get this done.

He took that on the chin:

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I was at the International commercial bank of Ghana yesterday and after there i went to the High court of justice Ghana where i am expected to pay the $520usd for the approval letter as soon as i provide to them the amount and the payment slip of the $520usd from western union money transfer that has your name and destination as the only prove the high court demanded before the can grant us the approval letter for your transfer to you.
I was at the court purposely to demand for the invioce as you demanded but the court told me that they will only give me a payment invoice on receipt of the $520usd payment for the approval letter,so i have decided to mail you and let you know what the court said and to make sure that you do your best today to send the $520usd...

Wherever they are, Lads hate invoices!

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Invoices are given before payment; receipts come after payment. Seems that not everyone is thinking over there.

Uh-oh...

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What are you talking about?do you have to always use some kind of insulting language on us when you yourself lack understanding of what you are requesting for? You talk about invoice and we are trying to let you know that the court said nothing of such shall be given unless the payment receipt that will be given after the $520usd is paid to them,if you do not understand things about Africa you should learn to ask rather than just using some language that is not good on us the IMF.
I want you to know that invoices are as well used as receipts for purchased goods here in Ghana,west Africa and it is given to customers after purchases made.Are you buying anything from the court that you needed invoice for?for goodness sake,you are paying for the approval
letter and a receipt should be given to you after that payment and nothing more.We expect you to understand and know this as the more
civilised person.Send the $520usd to my secretary MISS REJ0ICE D4M4LI
to Accra Ghana and your payment invoice/receipt will be sent to you, think and reason with us at once.

This won't go down well:

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Invoices have nothing to do with buying. I don't get invoices from K-Mart or IGA. On the other hand, banks and lawyers and doctors and tradesmen and so on give invoices.
Invoices and receipts are different things, even in Africa. So do as I say.

I hope the Lad appreciates my explanations...

Posted: Fri Nov 05, 2010 10:17 am

You can just feel the frustration coming from him. I love your line "So do as I say"

Posted: Fri Nov 05, 2010 10:22 pm

Guess who doesn't like being told what to do?

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Listen to me Mr Malcom.you cannot give me order like that,if you know that you cannot afford the $520usd for the approval letter for the processing and transfer of your fund to you then let us know and you will be expected to send a withdrawal letter so that we can get order from the high court to close your file and stop wasting our time with the issue of invoice,i have told you what an invoice or receipt is made for here,it serves as a means of payment confirmation for goods and services provided but if you feel that in your country invoices are given to people just like that i want to tell you that it is not done here like that by the IMF,the bank or by the court,you are just making unnecessary excuse for nothing because of just $520usd for the approval letter,it seems like you do not even know the purpose of an invoice or receipt and i believed that that is what you have been doing or receiving from abnormal sources that may have led to the inability of you receiving your fund from Nigeria that led to its transfer to Ghana.

The only thing i can guarantee you is the deposit slip of your fund which the bank might give to you as time goes on when requested,you better ask well and know what you are asking for before you request for it,I as the IMF representative in charge of your fund and possible transfer to you will not and shall not repeat myself again trying to make you understand what you do not know about what you are requesting,if you know that you cannot afford the $520usd for the approval letter do not be shy to speak out and never try to using invoice as a cover up. Invoice/receipts are only given to clients or customers based on services paid for and just for nothing,you are requested to pay the sum of $520usd which you have not paid for and you expect an invoice for what?If you do not have $520usd for the approval letter for the legal processing of your fund transfer to you then open up and never try to give the IMF a clumsy excuse for your inabilities and you shall be expected to send us A WELL SIGNED HAND WRITTEN AUTHORIZATION LETTER OF WITHDRAWAL and with this the High Court of Justice Ghana will grant the IMF an approval to close your file to give room to attending to other serious beneficiaries/owners of funds in our control.

I ignored most of that waffle.

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For a member of the IMF you ain't exactly the model of decorum and reason. I am not a poor man and I'm insulted to be called that.
Invoices and receipts are used all over the world - I don't see how Africa is different. They are very different things and never synonymous. And yes, if someone demands money either here or in the US, it's totally normal to expect an invoice.
Added to that, you are with the INTERNATIONAL Monetary Fund, not the GHANAIAN Monetary Fund, so that boondoggle about local rules ain't an issue.
I suggest you stop having hissy fits, get a pair, grow a brain, and do your gorram job for once.

I didn't expect the Lad to suck it up:

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Thank you once again for your mail but i still want to make this clear to you,mind you,it is not the IMF that requested that you pay the $520usd but i want you to know that it is the high court of justice Ghana that requested for the approval letter fee of $520usd so if you want anything of such then it should be from the court and not the IMF,i was at the court today again to let them know that you insisted on the invoice before you will send the $520usd for the approval letter and i insisted they give it to me but the judge in charge told me that if he issues an invoice to me then it means that we have paid for the approval letter already and that will not be good as the duplicate will show that we have paid so he cannot do that but he agreed to give me an open invoice and that they will only sign it after the payment is made to them with the payment slip provided to them,would you want me to scan and send the open invoice to you?if that is what you want to see then get back to me as soon as possible.

Well, I can't return the favour, so:

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That gorram judge is an idiot! A receipt means that I've paid but an invoice shows what I should pay. How the Sam Frick did he get to be a judge?
I don't know what you mean by an 'open invoice' so explain it.

Posted: Sun Nov 07, 2010 8:16 am

Quote:

...you have been doing or receiving from abnormal sources...

Will the good Captain let that pass?

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Apr 2008 Posts: 1301

The request for an invoice gets them every time. Too much work for the lazy lads to do so they try and weasal out of it. I'm sure Cap Mal won't let anything slip by him.

Posted: Thu Nov 11, 2010 6:39 am

Just wait until you hear about the dollar chop...

Posted: Fri Nov 12, 2010 9:48 pm

The chop began with this reply from Mal after the invoice finally arrived:

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That's much better.
If you had done as I had suggested before, with less back-talk and boondoggle about the way things are supposedly done in Africa, we would have reached this stage ages ago.
When your man picks up the money, I expect the next stage to move smoothly.
Don't let me down.

He should have noticed the reference to "your man" since the money is supposed to go to a woman. But if he'd read further down, to his original message, he'd see...

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The Invoice has been reattached as you requested sir.Go through and try and send the $520usd to the name of my assistant MR JAMES B0SWELL to Accra Ghana as soon as you can.We hope to hear from you soon.

It took a couple of days for realisation to hit, and then...

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When did you send that money to Mr.Boswell?i do not understand what is happening at the moment,i am in charge of this whole thing and you sent money to Mr.without letting me to know?without sending the payment information to me?i asked you to send it to my secretary MISS REJ0ICE D4M4LI and now you tell me that you have sent it to Mr James B0swell?i do not understand it seems like something is going wrong,i want to know,everyone denied recieving such money from you,send me the detail information and the contact and email of that MR.JAMES BOSWELL who i know that is denying you sending that money to him and the payment information,I am in charge and without that $520usd or the payment slip from the western union money transfer given to me then there is nothing that can be done,i want to know the truth so that i can fulfil me duty of making sure that your money is transferred to you successfully,from the begining i have always told you to send the money through my secretary but why did you prefer JAMES BOSWELL,you were surposed to act according to what i asked you not act base on what you are told by anyone without my awareness.I hope to hear from you soon

So he does know Boswell? Interesting that he should claim that... But then he had an epiphany:

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I will not argue what you are saying but i want you to know that some has hack my inbox if that is the case and has been using my box to send you email on my behalf and then delete the message from the sent mail,i do not have an assistance called JAMES B0SWELL that i requested that you send the $520usd to,i have always used the name of my secretary REJ0ICE D4M4LI to make any money transaction like this,i have just gone through the email you sent me now and find out that there are message that are on this page that i didn't receive,it means that the person has been checking my email before i could unless when i am in the office and luckily sees it before the person,Mr.James i know is never my assistant,pls send me the payment details as soon as possible and the email or phone number you sent the payment information to so that i can confirm who is responsible for this whether is anyone in this office because i did not even receive any payment information on this my box,i want to know where you sent the payment information to pls do that for me as soon as you can,i am worry because i want to make sure that i settle with the court so that the bank can start the transfer before the week ends,pls i am very sorry for any inconviniences this may cause you.

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Pls any email you receive from this box asking you to send money to any name apart from REJ0ICE D4M4LI my secretary regarding this transfer of your $7.5 with the IMF to you then you must regard that email as a criminal mail.I do not know such a person or that JAMES B0SWELL pls,someone is tempering with my box,pls send me the payment information as soon as possible and the email or phone number you sent it to.Thank you,i am in my office waiting to here from you

Next... the chop continues...

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