Send Letters to Santa Early

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Baiting Guru Joined: 29 Jan 2008 Posts: 2531 Location: AU

I received a letter from Santa in my catcher.

Quote:

On Sat, Oct 23, 2010 at 12:21 AM, Santa <[email protected]> wrote:

Hello,
Happiness is the only word to express my feelings towards you. How is life treating you and everything around you? It is my firm belief that life is treating you real good and that God is in control of every other thing that matters to you. My name is Santa, I am an interesting, intelligent, beautiful and attractive young girl. I just came in contact with your email address today online and became interested in you. I decided to mail you so that you and I can start up a long lasting love relationship. I will like you to reply me here with this email address ([email protected]) so that I can send you my pictures and tell you in details about myself so you that you will know who I am. I believe we can make a perfect match in relationship. Remember age, distance or color does not matter but love matters most in life. My email address is ([email protected])
Thanks,
Santa

ok so it's not the santa we all thought but it might be a bit of fun to send your christmas wishes to this lad

Quote:

Hello Santa
I know it is not long until christmas. I have been a very good boy this year.
Dad says you won't be coming this year because of when i shaved snowy the next door neighbors cat.
But the fur is growing back now.

Anyway if there is one thing i would like for christmas I would have to be a Trebuchet.
This way i can get rid of Snowy once and for all.
Hans

Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 12:12 am

I love it!!!

I just sent this:

Quote:

Dear Santa

I knew you were were real. Little Bobby told me you didn't exist and I went home and cried and cried. And you are being silly. Everyune nows Santa is a boy. U must be Mrss Santa Claus.

How are the reindeer and the elves. Please give Rudolph a kiss me fme. I Love him so much.

Please tell Santa I want a barbie doll and lots of new clothes and shoes. I have been a very good girl.

My brtother, Irving, has been very bad boy. He punched me mtoday. It hurt bad.

I love you Santa. See you on Christmas. I will leave milk and cookies.

Love Jenny

Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 1:19 am

Quote:

Dear Santa,
Thank-you for your letter.
Even though I'm 14 now, I have always believed that you were real!!! Wait until I tell all my friends!!! They are going to be so surprized!!!
Will you be bringing me lots of presents?
I love you Santa!
Please write back soon
Mike

Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 2:35 am

I wonder if we can get Santa to safari to the SOUTH Pole?

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 19 Oct 2010 Posts: 4

Lol, as a relative newbie I am playing with Santa as one of my pets, should be great!!!! Never thought Santa was from Africa

Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 10:18 am

Somewhere in the world, there is a scammer wishing he'd done his homework before picking that name Smile

Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 10:33 am

Couldn't help myself - The subject is "My wish list":

Quote:

Dear Santa
I hope everything is fine with you and all your dwarves.
I'm so happy that you have got email now - I have got a feeling that my letters never reached you.
Here is my wish list for this year:
A new doll house.
A grufulus
A game console (Nintendo).
A puppy (Poodle)
A kalashnikov assault rifle
A new bike.
A TV
I have been a good girl all year, except when I pooped in Annie's school bag, but she is mean and deserves it.
Please knock on my window when you come, I would like to thank you in person.
I know that you have got a lot of work to do, so I will not bother you with a long mail.
See you around
Tyr3 L0rt

EDIT - Leeted my character name - It shows up too easy in G00gl3 Shocked

Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2010 3:10 am

This is hilarious!
Mass Christmas wish lists to send him????
You gotta ask for a santa pic?

Baiting Guru Joined: 29 Jan 2008 Posts: 2531 Location: AU

either this lad is ignoring us or he doesn't work weekends.
fingers crossed he has just had a few days off.

Master Baiter Joined: 11 Oct 2010 Posts: 139

Dear Santa Claus,
I knew you existed, I just knew it! I don't know why you're saying you're a girl though. Everyone knows you're an old man, and girls have cooties!!! I always wanted to write you and tell you what I wanted but when I wrote you a letter last year I found it in the trash because daddy threw it away. He told me you don't exist and you'd never get any letters from me. Now I have your email I can finally tell you what I want for Christmas:
-a bb gun
-a train set
-a pony
-a train
-a Howitzer cannon
-an Easy Bake oven
-a personal bodyguard
-my own country
-a scrunchy
I promise I've been a very good girl, except for the time when I called Billy a mean name, and that other time when I slit Jenny's cat's throat and left it in her locker with a note written in the cat's blood. Other than that I've been a very very good girl this year!
Can't wait to see you this Christmas!
Jenna Davis

edit: BAH, I forgot about the cooties part and changed gender by the end of the letter...but you know what, I think that just makes it that much better in a silly, almost nonsensical way.

Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2010 3:38 pm

Reply from "Santa"

Quote:

Good day dearest,

How are you today? I hope that you are in a super perfect health. I saw your profile and I was highly satisfied with it. As i understood that age can never be a barrier between true love, what matter's most in any relationship is love. My name is Miss Santa David Thiara, I am single 24 years old from Sierra Leone, West Africa, and presently i am residing in the refugee camp here in Dakar Senegal as a result of the killing of my family by the rebel that took place one early morning, please don't be discourage for hearing this,

My late father Dr, David Thiara was the adviser to the President of My country on Political Matters and a very successful Business man. We had a very happy family that was united with undying love. The brutal killing of my mother and my father, one kid sister and kid brother took place one early morning. We were preparing to celebrate my father's birth day, when the Rebel attacked our home, and killed my parents and every member of my family in cold blood.

It is only me that is alive now and I managed to make my way to the West African state called Senegal where i am leaving now in a refugee camp here in Oakum North, KM 14 Refuseniks Avenue Dakar Senegal through the help of one Reverend Pastor called Ruben James. I was in my second year in the university as a Law student before this incident happened and I ran for my dear life. I will still go back to continue with my education as soon as i am free.

Now, about my hobbies, I like swimming, dancing, cooking, meeting people, going to social activities, and also i like music such as love songs mostly west life song, Elvis Presley and Leonel Richie, R&B, hip up and jazz. I would like to know more about you. Your likes and dislike, your hobbies and what you are doing presently. I will tell you more about myself in my next mail.

Attached here is my pictures, and i will also like to see your pictures. I wait to hear from you soon.

have a nice day

Santa

I too like "hip up" music. Very Happy

Not a fan of Westlife however.

Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2010 3:59 pm

How can you resist that?!?

This is what I sent:

Quote:

Dear Santa
I write you every year, but I never get what I ask for, and now my mean big brother tells me you don't exist. But I know you exist, and this year I've been real good. So can I get the Star Wars Lego I want? Please? Pretty Please? I will be real good, and do what my parents and teachers say, and I will also do what the creepy man at the playing gorund say, even though Mommy says I cannot talk to him, even if he offers me candy.

Can I get some candy too?

Your biggest fan
Heinz Donnerwetter
Fahwehrgnügen

Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2010 4:50 pm

Quote:

Dear Santa,

I really tried my best to be a very good girl this year even though though my neighbor locked me in his bedroom and demand that we have sex. I really wanted to save that for someone special but I guess these sort of things just happen. My family would always tell me you're not real but I always know you existed in my heart and I'm glad you wrote to me this year.I'm 15 years old and for Christmas this year I would like it very much if you could cut me some slack and hopefully if it's not too much trouble to bring me what's on my wishlist:

1) A vibrating dildo
2) Make up from Japan
3) A Bazooka
4) A Babushka Doll
5) A Snuggie
6) An extra sharp machete
7) Lotion
8) 5 laptop computers
9) The iPad

Please write back as soon as possible. I know you have a busy schedule so I thank you for pencilling me in.

Always in my heart,

Evangelxne Mortensxn

Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2010 6:36 pm

This is too delicious to resist...

Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2010 6:43 pm

Quote:

Miss Santa David Thiara

Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2010 8:01 pm

Quote:

Santa,

My name is Sebxstixn and I always believed in you, no mater what my foster family saysthey just want the money Mommy left me when she died. They are mean and i hope you give them exactly what they deserve for Christmas.

I have been good all year and won't do any of the bad stuff they tell me to do, even when they hurt me.

Santa, there's only one thing I want with all my heart. I want my Mommy back. She died three years ago and I know you exist and I know you can give good people what they deserve.

If you need help to make the elves work harder I can even send money if it will help you bring me my Mommy this year.

Sebxstixn

Hook baited and set...

Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2010 8:10 pm

Couldn’t resist..I hope he takes care of my wish it would be so cool to have the Fonz as my daddy.

Quote:

Dear Santa,
I am so happy to know you are real! I have always wondered if your beard is real though. Anyway I have a very simple wish this year for Christmas. I want Henry Winkler to show up as my father on the paternity test. My mother was a real whore back in the early 90s and has no idea who my father is. Out of the eight possible candidates the only one that has a job is Henry. The others are mostly junkies or drunks but Henry is special. He has a great job at the local porn shop as the video booth cleaner. He told me it is a sticky business sometimes but very satisfying. Please help me know which baby daddy is my daddy and I promise to be a good boy.

Little Jack

EDIT: I am such a dumbass this would make me almost in my 20's. Oh well something tells me Santa will not notice.

Master Baiter Joined: 11 Oct 2010 Posts: 139

bravo95 wrote:

Couldn’t resist..I hope he takes care of my wish it would be so cool to have the Fonz as my daddy.

Quote:

Dear Santa,
I am so happy to know you are real! I have always wondered if your beard is real though. Anyway I have a very simple wish this year for Christmas. I want Henry Winkler to show up as my father on the paternity test. My mother was a real whore back in the early 90s and has no idea who my father is. Out of the eight possible candidates the only one that has a job is Henry. The others are mostly junkies or drunks but Henry is special. He has a great job at the local porn shop as the video booth cleaner. He told me it is a sticky business sometimes but very satisfying. Please help me know which baby daddy is my daddy and I promise to be a good boy.

Little Jack

EDIT: I am such a dumbass this would make me almost in my 20's. Oh well something tells me Santa will not notice.

Yea I wrote mine too fast and now I'm a girl who thinks girls have cooties Laughing

but judging from the reply evil_sheep got I don't think Santa even bothers to read these emails.

Posted: Tue Oct 26, 2010 12:53 am

Dear santa claus

I hope you have a safe trip.
Tell Rudolph that I don't think his nose is funny.
He got that nose for that foggy Cristmas Eve to guide the sliegh.

i am sorry for being bad this year .
i know your elves are watching me.
i will try to very good until christmas and good all of next year.

how do you fit through a chiminey?
Do you kwow magic?

Posted: Tue Oct 26, 2010 1:56 am

Vinata Giolla wrote:

I don't think Santa even bothers to read these emails.

an important lesson... they rarely read the early responses Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 29 Jan 2008 Posts: 2531 Location: AU

it was expected Sad

Posted: Tue Oct 26, 2010 9:26 am

My little Tyr3 haven't got a reply yet - She's really looking forward to that assault riffle. That will bring some status in the school yard Laughing

It's kind of funny - In my country you actually get a reply, if you send a snail mail to Santa. I don't know if he replies to foreign countries, but you could try to drop a snail mail to:

Quote:

Julemanden
Danmark

Posted: Tue Oct 26, 2010 9:30 am

Or alternatively

Julemanden
Grønland

Where most of the rest of the world belives he lives on the North Pole, we Danes has discovered his secret hideout deep inside our colony, Greenland. Wink

Posted: Tue Oct 26, 2010 9:57 am

^^^ I thought of that too, but only we and the Norwegians have 'ø' in our alphabets - Non-Vikings could replace 'ø' with 'oe' or just 'o' Smile

EDIT - I just wonder what happens if you drop a Santa mail here:
[email protected]
That's PostDanmark's customer contact addy Laughing

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