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Master Baiter Joined: 11 Oct 2010 Posts: 139

My first

I got four, actually, but so far I'm just responding to one.

from [email protected] <[email protected]>
reply-to [email protected]
to [email protected]
date Tue, Oct 12, 2010 at 7:58 AM
subject From Mis vivian john
mailed-by cantv.net

From Mis vivian john
Dear Beloved
My name is Miss vivian john, I am currently reside in Cote D'ivoire west Africa, I need your help to invest my late father money, which he deposited with a bank in as family valuables for foreign investment under a bond before he died, He advised me to look for a foreign partner to help me invest the money in any country of my choice and continue my education there, the money is($8.5m)
Please I am offering you 22% of this money if you will render this help to me and receive this money and arrange my coming to settle in your country
My father's relatives are currently looking for me to collect the documents of this money from me because I am sure they were aware of what killed my father,
help me please
Sincerely
vivian john

My reply:

Dear Vivian John,

My sincerest condolences for the loss of your father. He sounds like a very wise man. I would be most happy to help you with this transaction. I am sure you would be very happy in Wales. It is a lovely country.

There is just one issue. I have a wife who would not be very trusting and understanding of a transaction such as this. How can I be sure of the utmost security?

Sincerest regards,
Jonathan Davis

What do you think? Am I off to a good start?

Posted: Tue Oct 12, 2010 8:07 pm

Nice start Thumbs up

Looking forward to his response !

Posted: Tue Oct 12, 2010 8:10 pm

Nice start indeed! Just try to be as convincing a victim as possible. Meanwhile the mention of your wife is a great addition, think about the problems she could cause later on Twisted Evil

Master Baiter Joined: 11 Oct 2010 Posts: 139

Master of Puppets wrote:

think about the problems she could cause later on Twisted Evil

Precisely

Posted: Tue Oct 12, 2010 8:48 pm

Good job! Nice simple reply. Just remeber to play it slow. Send one or two questions at a time and do not start in on a "story" too soon. Just like making friends if you went uo to someone you just met and told them your life story they would probably make a run for it.
I learned all this the hard way trying to rush into a story luckily I had a wise Mentor to teach me the ways.
Have fun!

Posted: Tue Oct 12, 2010 9:04 pm

Master of Puppets wrote:

Nice start indeed! Just try to be as convincing a victim as possible. Meanwhile the mention of your wife is a great addition, think about the problems she could cause later on Twisted Evil

... especially when she finds you in bed with a sheep! *

*I'm Welsh, so I can say things like this** Very Happy

**... and no. It's NOT from personal experience

Smile

Posted: Tue Oct 12, 2010 9:32 pm

Master Baiter Joined: 11 Oct 2010 Posts: 139

llamedos wrote:

*I'm Welsh, so I can say things like this** Very Happy

Hey, if you could help with some slang and cultural stuff where applicable that'd be awesome Very Happy

I'm actually a female Californian, so this character is just a bit of a stretch Laughing

Posted: Tue Oct 12, 2010 11:00 pm

Hmmm... well, I don't speak the lingo, but here's some background for you Wink

:

Bore Da (borr-eh dar) - good morning
Prynhawn Da (prin-hawn dar) - good afternoon

Us Welsh guys like to think we can drink a lot of beer (perhaps your character is usually drunk?) Wink

We looove the game of Rugby. - quote the rules at your lad
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rugby_union_gameplay

Discuss the results of your favourite rugby team: (perhaps your wife follows a different team? Such an arrangement could cause problems - I speak from present experience with the the g/f Rolling Eyes

)
http://www.newportgwentdragons.com/home.aspx [based in Newport]
not playing well at the moment Crying or Very sad

http://www.ospreysrugby.com/ [based in Swansea]
http://www.cardiffblues.com/ [based in Cardiff - Welsh capital]
http://www.scarlets.co.uk/ [Llanelli (Thlan-eth-lee), west of Swansea]

We also like to sing a lot
Cwm Rhondda
http://www.ukmagic.co.uk/song_welsh/cwm_rhondda.html
National Anthem:
http://www.ukmagic.co.uk/song_welsh/hen_wlad_fy_nhadau.html
Men of Harlech
http://www.ukmagic.co.uk/song_welsh/rhyfelgyrch_gwyr_harlech.html
Sospan Fach (Little saucepan!)
http://www.ukmagic.co.uk/song_welsh/sosban_fach.html

You can always use the titles or partial lyrics to insult the lad in Welsh.. Smile

e.g. you sospan fach!

Speaking Welsh means dribbling and spitting at whoever it is you're talking to! Wink

Our countryside is famous for having large wet lumps of scenery we like to call 'Mountains'
http://www.snowdonrailway.co.uk/
They're not very big , but we're proud of them..

Your baiting name is a good one (ok, there's a letter missing, but so what?):
Retired Welsh International player, now BBC TV presenter/commentator
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathan_Davies_%28rugby%29
and
Currently playing for West Wales Rugby regional team called 'Scarlets'
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathan_Davies_%28rugby_union%29
Pics of player Jonathan
Pics: top line is best

p.s. they're not related! lol

There we go.
Should be enough for the moment Mr. Green

Master Baiter Joined: 11 Oct 2010 Posts: 139

llamedos wrote:

We also like to sing a lot
Cwm Rhondda
http://www.ukmagic.co.uk/song_welsh/cwm_rhondda.html
National Anthem:
http://www.ukmagic.co.uk/song_welsh/hen_wlad_fy_nhadau.html
Men of Harlech
http://www.ukmagic.co.uk/song_welsh/rhyfelgyrch_gwyr_harlech.html
Sospan Fach (Little saucepan!)
http://www.ukmagic.co.uk/song_welsh/sosban_fach.html

Yes, the music...when I came up with my character, I was experiencing some nostalgia for the movie adaptation of A Child's Christmas In Wales, mostly because of the music, so, being at a loss for character location, I based him in Wales Smile

ETA: Hey, Cwm Rhondda is the hymn Katherine Hepburn sings at the beginning of The African Queen! Love that one Mr. Green

Quote:

Your baiting name is a good one (ok, there's a letter missing, but so what?):
Retired Welsh International player, now BBC TV presenter/commentator
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathan_Davies_%28rugby%29
and
Currently playing for West Wales Rugby regional team called 'Scarlets'
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathan_Davies_%28rugby_union%29
Pics of player Jonathan
Pics: top line is best

That was entirely unintentional. I went to http://www.badassoftheweek.com/ and I liked Captain Jonathan R. Davis Laughing

Master Baiter Joined: 11 Oct 2010 Posts: 139

Holy shit...

THE REASON WHY I CONTACTED YOU FOR HELP wrote:

Dear Jonathan Davis

Good day to you and thank you so much for your response to my plight and willingness to assist me. May Good lord in His Infinite mercy reward you. You can never regret assisting me and I pray that this will be an enduring relationship that will last from generation to generation.

I know that you may be surprised to receive my mail since we have not met before. However, i would like you to accept it in good faith and sincerety of purpopse since I contacted you based on Divine guidance.

I contacted you with trust to help me receive the money which is my only hope for future. I will like you to help me with open heart as you promise, It is not easy for me to take that decision to trust you and contact you because the money is my only hope for future. But there is nothing I can do, it is left for you to be good to me, it is my condition now that have make it that I must trust somebody so that the money will be transfer out.

This is why i have been taking refuge in a guest house. I do not have any relative to trust and I will only obey the wishes of my dear father and also my relatives is after my life since the death of my late father and that is why i want this money to be move out from this country so that i can leave here before anything strange can happen to me here.

This is why i contacted you to please help me out of this ordeal so that I can live here. I want you to help me transfer the money to your account and put it in good investment in your country and manage it for me. Because when I arrive your country after the money is transfer to your account, you will help me get good school so that I will continue my education to have experience in business management so that I will join you in managing the investment.

The help I need from you is to represent me in the bank as foreign business partner of my late father and receive the money for me in your bank account. You will send the bank account information to me so that I visit the bank to submit the information to the bank for them to transfer the money there. You will help me invest my money in good business and manage it for me because I dont have experience of business..

I want the money to be transfer to your account quick so that I will leave here because I fear for my dear life everyday as the people that poison my father may be after my life. All my hope for future is on this money in the bank. My late father deposit the money in coded trust deposit account and give instruction to bank that it is for transfer to foreign account only. He do this for security reasons of the money. I can not take money from there unless it is transfer out to a foreign account. So I want you to help me represent me in the bank for quick transfer of the money to your account.

I suffer a lot here now and cry everyday for losing my dear parents. For fear of my dear live I have been staying in guest house. Even the manager of the guest house is treatning to throw me out of the guest house because I dont have money at hand again to pay for my stay there. All the money I have at hand before I ran away for my life have since finished.

Please all you should do now is to forward the following to me so that i will forward them to the bank for the transfer of this fund into your account.

1. Your full name and address

2. Your private phone and fax numbers

3. Your banking accounting informations

4. your banking name and address and swift code

5. A photo copy of your international passport scan.

Please know that as soon as i receive the above informations from you, i shall then forward it to the bank for the immediate transfer of this fund into your account as i have discussed with the bank now and they told me that it is what they need from you before the fund will be transfer into your account.

Please , permit me to ask you this questions ? how old are you,? are you married ? if yes how many children have you ? what is your occupation ? will you promise to keep this transaction confidential untill the fund gets into your account, and please promise me that you will not in any way cheat me or betray me when this fund gets into your account,

please it is very very important just because this fund is my only hope in life. I don't have any legal guardian here in this country and that is why i contacted you for you to stand for me to the bank to enable them to transfer the fund into your account so that you will manage it for me since i am too young to manage this money at this my tender age now

I wait for your urgent reply please for my security and security of the money, please keep this business secret between me and you with the bank where my late father deposited the money. Do not expose it to another person till you receive the money in your account for the security of the money.

I have in this mail attached my picture so that you will know the person you are helping as i will like you to send me your picture as well so that i will know the person i am puting my trust into

I will be waiting for your urgent respond and the requested informations.

Yours faithfully,

Miss Vivian John

This is practically a TL;DR of barely-decipherable English. Honestly, I'm not entirely sure how to respond.

Oh, and this is supposedly her pic

You know, if I didn't know better, I'd say she's trying to seduce me Razz

ETA: My character's a barrister. I don't know if I could figure that into my next response somehow, or if it should even ever come up in this bait.

Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2010 1:13 am

^^^^
Llamedos:

'Men of Harlech' from the film 'Zulu'

( film retitled: 'Lads try to overwhelm first Internet cafe opened in Lagos' )

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1csr0dxalpI

Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2010 1:38 am

Vinata Giolla wrote:

Honestly, I'm not entirely sure how to respond.

Since it is totally still on script, it really doesn't matter how you respond -- they won't read too much of your response anyway. Just something simple with maybe one question.

'Sure, I would love to help you. Here is my information: (blah blah blah). Is this something I could get in trouble helping you with?'

Quote:

Oh, and this is supposedly her pic

Looks like it is posted on several dating sites, according to Tin Eye. Stolen from the internet, of course. Wink

http://www.tineye.com/search/4ded46fb765d5c057362218ded0695f41bae38ab/

Welcome to Eater, Vinata. Bait safe and have fun! Very Happy

Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2010 10:12 am

llamedos wrote:

Master of Puppets wrote:

Nice start indeed! Just try to be as convincing a victim as possible. Meanwhile the mention of your wife is a great addition, think about the problems she could cause later on Twisted Evil

... especially when she finds you in bed with a sheep! *

*I'm Welsh, so I can say things like this** Very Happy

**... and no. It's NOT from personal experience

Smile

Baaaaaaaaaaaa.
Twisted Evil

Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2010 10:19 am

<----- Knew someone would respond like that Rolling Eyes

Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2010 12:06 pm

^So is the green ribbon to stop man+sheep love? Or is it promoting it? It did not turn up in my google search is the only reason I am asking.

Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2010 12:17 pm

A friend of mine once wanted a pair of klein bottle trousers, so that he could walk around with his genitals on the outside...
This same friend has a mobius scarf, knitted for him by my ex-partner. Very Happy

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M%C3%B6bius_strip

Reminds me of the joke:

Why did the mobius strip cross the road?

To get to the other.... oh... nevermind.

Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2010 12:46 pm

Oh I'm so stupid I spelled Mobius band wrong on my google search.
Thanks for the info!

Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2010 1:01 pm

The "<------" should have been more in line with my user name.
You'd think I'd know by now. Rolling Eyes

It's not as if I joined yesterday. Embarassed

But Hey!
One more person now knows how to spell "Mobius"!

I'll get me coat.

Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2010 1:23 pm

Ok great that makes a lot more sense.I didn't get what band had to do with sheep. Thought it was a inside joke for sheep herders.
I'm glad to know what a Mobius band is though. Going to see how many times I can work Mobius into conversations at work today.

Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2010 1:40 pm

Welcome on board Vinata Giolla

Vinata Giolla wrote:

You know, if I didn't know better, I'd say she's trying to seduce me Razz

Don't count on it - That's a professional photo, thus likely to be a model shoot. You will of course ask for more of "her" lovely photos. Later on you can ask for a photo of "her", holding a sign with your character's name on it, or some silly profanity. That will force that lad to either photochop something or ignore the request.

I love this:

Quote:

5. A photo copy of your international passport scan.

You will of course have an excuse for not sending it - I usually just say that it's illegal to copy official ID's.

Don't mind about your character's occupation - I have character names that I use in several different roles.

@llamedos - I had google help make up one of my character names: "Rydych yn C4ch4" - It look Spanish to me, but the lads seem not to like as the bite rate is lower on that one - Do they understand Welsh in ladland Question

Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2010 1:56 pm

Not many people understand Welsh in Wales, let alone ladland! Very Happy

Master Baiter Joined: 11 Oct 2010 Posts: 139

Chuda, the killer cat wrote:

Vinata Giolla wrote:

You know, if I didn't know better, I'd say she's trying to seduce me Razz

Don't count on it - That's a professional photo, thus likely to be a model shoot. You will of course ask for more of "her" lovely photos. Later on you can ask for a photo of "her", holding a sign with your character's name on it, or some silly profanity. That will force that lad to either photochop something or ignore the request.

Ha, yea, trying to get more photos out of this fool is gonna be fun.

My response:

Quote:

I would love to help you. I just want to be sure this isn't something I could get in trouble for helping you with. Will this be an absolutely safe transaction?

I am 31 years old, married, no children. I work as a barrister. I will absolute keep this confidential. I have to because if my wife finds out she won't let me continue this transaction.

Godspeed,
Jonathan Davis

Master Baiter Joined: 11 Oct 2010 Posts: 139

So what should I do when I get no responses?