Andrew and the traveling computers!--UPDATE!

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Posted: Mon Sep 27, 2010 6:40 pm

This is awesome, Nowhere Man! Andrew seems genuinely frightened.

Maybe to ratchet Andrew's paranoia up one more notch, Rev. Shucks begins to have dreams of Andrew's family and nocturnal animals. The good Reverend doesn't know what it means but he wakes up now in the middle of the night with a sense of foreboding. Twisted Evil

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 27 Sep 2010 Posts: 1

bwahahahahaha.... A friend of mine turned me on to this site and I have spent the last few days crying from laughing so much. Is this for real?!

I gotta do some more research and I wanna get in the game!

Congrats Nowwhere Man on a great bait!!

- J

Posted: Mon Sep 27, 2010 11:06 pm

Though I've been enjoying this site for over a year, it was this thread which prompted me to join.

And it just keeps goin'..... Very Happy

Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2010 10:27 am

Welcome to eater, Mid Life Crisis and Cosmic Ear. If you haven't already, read the stickies and sign up for a mentor.

Oh yeah... it's for real. Very Happy

Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2010 11:45 am

Don't move the little bastard over to the UK. If he is for real, try to put him off the idea.
We have enough problems without admitting another criminal into the country. I'm loathe of safariing lads to developed countries where they might settle into our societies. Once they get to the West, they generally become far more successful scammers and the threat of arrest is just about the same as it would be in their native land - ie: nil.
He'll do far less damage staying where he is in Africa. Wink

419Eater is my life Joined: 10 Jul 2008 Posts: 366

^^^ He may have a UK visa but he isn't in yet. What might be possible is to identify the flight information and that might identify the lad. All that is not enough to get him arrested.

However scaring the bejesus out of a lad to the point where he moves his family to another continent should have be credited with a special kind of safari.

p.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2010 3:03 pm

Special icon? Hey, you got french fries and a goat. That's pretty damn special there. Watch out what you ask for around here. You usually will get something you were not expecting. Wink

This keeps getting funnier. These lads love the drama! Very Happy

Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2010 5:31 pm

@SlapHappy: I wear my goaty and my fries with pride.

@Slightlyoutofit: I doubt the SOB will actually make it to the UK. He was 'crying like i've never cried before' about money to get back to Lagos. I can't imagine what it would cost him to fly to the UK.

@ Cosmic Ear & Mid Life Crisis: Welcome! and thanks!

@Raga Man: Andrew is going to get an email today from The Rev about terrible dreams and premonitions he is having that may or may not include nocturnal animals, such as that frightening picture you linked to. Good idea, that one.

I'll be posting some updates later. Stay tuned.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 08 Aug 2010 Posts: 12

I doubt he has a UK visa. It would cost time and money to get one so he wouldn't bother unless he was definitely going to the UK anyway. If you could get some real life details, or even better a copy of his visa (if he does have one), then report it to the UKBA: [email protected]. I know a bit about the process for applying for student visas so could advise on that.

Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2010 9:28 pm

@Nowhere Man - As I said before, you are doing brilliantly without my help but if references to creatures of the night will play on cultural fears and further agiitate Andrew's already overheated brain, I'm all for it. Twisted Evil

I'll go back to watching the show and munching my popcorn now. Carry on....... Very Happy

Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2010 9:39 pm

@Raga Man: I googled 'Nigerian Superstitions' and threw in about 7 things, including your creatures of the night. Haha!

Waiting to hear.

Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2010 11:24 pm

Keep it up Nowhere Man. Thumbs up

Trophy Videos · Posted: Wed Sep 29, 2010 2:48 am

He better watch out for this creature of the night, known to be roaming West Africa somewhere around Accra. Smile

Posted: Wed Sep 29, 2010 9:24 pm

Chima responds to McThorn about being deputized. This one comes with a Nigerian IP addy, and the subject line is: ARREST BARRY ANY EVIDENCE YOU WANT I WILL GIVE ANYWHERE:

Quote:

Mr. Tom, Sir,

since we get to know who Barry really is we are all complying but we are all afraid and conscious of our lives, every step we are taking is calculated, Barry and his men are dangerous. Frankly speaking i don't know at what point you picked offense with Andrew, he told me and warned strictly that we will help you people to get Barry but should not do that in the sacrifice of our lives.
He has fall our with Barry even Barry do not trus him, Barry is thinking because of the problem since he don't know where the problem is coming from, because of the harsh words Andrew used against him and the insults, he thought that Andrew is behind all these problem. He called me one day and was asking me about this. He thought that because Andrew's father in-law is a senior police officer maybe he is the one doing all these.

Andrew told me the plan he initiated to put Barry in confidence and make him be on your control which i see as a perfect plan, because Barry is working with some orgnization, maybe his men rejected that plan, did Andrew work against you or did he hide any information from you or lied to you on this Barry issue, honestly Andrew is ready to comply with you but not in the expense of his life.
For the much he has done even if he commit anything, you should have advise him to stop any bad thing he is doing or has done, nobody on earth has never commited an offense before. If everybody is to be put on court, almost all will be a prisoner.

I will accept your offer of deputizing me, but should be only immediately when Barry is arrested, i am ready to give evidence even Andrew will be ready to do same. But the notion you have against Andrew is not the best, he has helped you. Please arrest Barry, it's getting too late. Since you were all aware of this about Barry, and your men followed him in that car, it could have been a good opportunity to arrest him, even when he was in airport clearing the shipment, all this delay is causing a lot and may damage a whole lot of things. In Port Harcourt police arrested him with piles of drugs they collected money and his phone and allowed him, you see? that are the people you are working with, in Africa money is everything, you will be surprise your fellow security men will fail you when they see money, that is why we are conscious of the steps we take. Explain more how the thing works.

Thank you and God Bless,
Chima.

McThorn responds:

Quote:

Chima,

Given the seriousness of the situation, we are going to forget about Andrew's possible 419 scamming, although that is a crime. Barry's crimes, however, are far greater. We need to make sure that you two are safe. And I can't stress enough that you are both in danger.

Please tell me your location so that we can alert you when we learn anything of the Iceman's whereabouts. It doesn't do us any good if we don't know where you and Andrew are at all times. We have some safe locations that you can get to if you must--houses of other FBI informers that are very secure.

In order to deputize, you must go to the American Embassy office in Abuja. I can get you the location of the embassy later. We have an agent there, Teddy Ruxpin, whom you must speak to. Mr. Ruxpin's position there is very top secret, and we would need to arrange a meeting between the two of you.

Please send a scan of your international passport for our agents who will be working on putting this case in order for the courts here in America.

We must be swift and decisive on this measure. Have you heard from Andrew? We hear he is possibly going to be in Port Harcourt today or tomorrow. Do you have any information on that?

Please get back to me as soon as possible.
McThorn

Barry sends a message to Chima asking him to tell him where he is. He says that some of his construction men are on their way to Nigeria, and wouldn't it be nice if we could meet up and settle this business once and for all.

Chima responds immediately to McThorn. Ghanian IP addy on this one, I'm guessing it's Andrew. Hard to keep track when they keep sharing email boxes.

Quote:

Dear Tom,

Sir,

Forwarded message is what i received from Barry, really his men are coming as he indicate on the mail. Am happy you have our safety in your mind, fear has griped me over this issue, i never see where someone is doing good and later gets into trouble. Am in Enugu Now with a family member, who is a business man, the market is crowdy i hope to be then for a while because things is getting intense.

Am happy that Barry have not met me before and he don't have any identity of mine, even i pass him by the road side he will never notice me. Even Andrew it will be difficult for him to know because there are some complications of identity.

Andrew will be here today, they are already on his way because they left yesterday evening. To the best of my knowledge he will stay in port Harcourt and i heard that the father in-law want him to go to UK, so whatever i will let you know.

Am happy for your position on Andrew, The father in-law want to help him re-establish his formal business and i hope that is why he may likely do this time.

I have no international passport (interesting, about 6 pages ago he was telling us the hotel seized his passport and was holding it until he paid his hotel bill. Lying bastard.) unless i will start apply for one, i have to raise the money because i learn that it cost 18,000 naira.

Barry thought i am a fool or i don't know what he is up to, please do something very fast.

Before i forget, Barry asked me where i am so that he can come for me, i hope this is another opportunity to get Barry, where should i tell him i am, so that your men can be send to the place so that he can come there or whoever he send will be arrested.

Regards,
Chima.

McThorn responds:

Quote:

Chima,

Stay put. Don't give Barry any information yet. Email him back and make something up. Tell him that you are traveling and will email him an address when you get there. You can find a place, somewhere very public, like a market, or a cafe, and we can arrange the meeting.

I don't want to be hasty on this because one slip up could be deadly.

I will need some sort of photograph of you, even if you don't have a passport. How will I let my men know who NOT to shoot if things get ugly? Also, when the meeting is arranged, they will need to know who to look for.

Please send this along as soon as you can.

And what about the deputization? I'll need to let Mr. Ruxpin know of your plans. We should do that before any meeting is arranged in case you need to wear a wire.

I have not heard from Andrew, despite repeated emails. If you hear from him, please have him respond.

McThorn

Andrew has been silent. McThorn emails him a couple of times to ask if he is ok, and to be informed of his whereabouts. No answer. The Rev has a dream...or is it a premonition of some sort...about Andrew and is compelled to tell him about it.

Quote:

Dear Brother Andrew,

You have been in my thoughts and prayers. Last night I had a dream, or a premonition, and I woke up in a sweat. You were standing naked by the ocean watching the waves crash on the shore, holding a broom. There were lots of animals around you--owls, birds, cats, bats, etc. Suddenly, something arose from out of the waves and pulled you under the water. You cried out for help. I tried to rush to you, but some dark figure was holding onto me, pulling me under the sand.

It was very frightening. I don't know what to make of it.

Please email me and let me know that you are somewhere safe.

Rev.

Apparently, if a man gets hit with a broom he will be impotent until he hits the man back 7 times with a broom. Raga Man suggested the night creatures to me. Awesome.

Haven't heard back from the S.O.B. yet.

419Eater is my life Joined: 10 Jul 2008 Posts: 366

nowhereman

Quote:

I have no international passport (the hotel seized his passport until he paid his hotel bill. Lying bastard.)

It maybe less of a lie than not. Many of the lads have national identity cards that allow them limited travel in local countries but not international travel. The hotel may have held the identity card. Of course lads lie.

p.

Posted: Wed Sep 29, 2010 11:01 pm

Nowhere Man wrote:

Barry sends a message to Chima asking him to tell him where he is. He says that some of his construction men are on their way

Must be those world famous concrete-shoemakers from Sicily.

Quote:

Chima responds immediately to McThorn. Ghanian IP addy on this one, I'm guessing it's Andrew.

Shouldn't he be on a plane to UK, or at least in Ghana, by now?
Lying **stard.

Quote:

Am happy that Barry have not met me before and he don't have any identity of mine,

That's what they think.
I'm pretty sure either Barry or Iceman or some other Don Giacobbo associate has had a little talk with the hotel staff and had a copy of his passport or a full description. That's how Iceman got hold of that drug lord in Colombia, remember? After they found the body, they discovered the clerk had been forced to give Iceman all information on the victim.

Don't they realize the mess they're in?
Don Giacobbo is no small criminal.

Quote:

Andrew will be here today, they are already on his way because they left yesterday evening.

What game do you think they're playing?
Is Andy trying to have Chima pass for himself?

Not quite a Newb Joined: 29 Sep 2010 Posts: 68

This thread is fantastic so far (I'm about half way through at the point of writing this).

EXCELLENT work! Truly inspiring stuff.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 27 Sep 2010 Posts: 2

Epic! When is the movie coming out?

Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 9:46 am

Agent McThorn wrote:

We have an agent there, Teddy Ruxpin

You mean this Teddy Ruxpin?

Too funny... LOL_sign

Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 11:27 am

^^ You KNOW it's good when it advertises "As seen on network TV"! Laughing

My sister got one of these when she was young. My older sister and I would play our "satanic music" (as my aunt called it) ... poor little Teddy's mouth would be moving to "Shout at the Devil" and "Too Fast for Love".

This bait is bringing back such fond memories!! Very Happy

Not quite a Newb Joined: 29 Sep 2010 Posts: 68

(Mod edit: there's really no need to do a full requote of a preceding post. Use ^^^^^^^ instead. - JF)

Yes! I did that! He looked so funny singing AC/DC's 'She's Got Balls"!!!!!

Trophy Videos · Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 5:10 pm

That last chima message definitely was Andrew. He has his tail between his legs. I think the Don should somehow catch wind of Andrews plans to flee to the UK. He will station his men at the airport and watch for him. If he sets one toe into UK, he is surely a dead man. Smile

Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 5:29 pm

@Raga Man: Yep! Thats the one! You can tell by looking at Mr. Ruxpin that he means business, cant you?

@SlapHappy: Good idea!

I'm getting annoyed because they aren't answering my emails. McThorn is going to have to send off a really pissed off rant about not being made aware of what is happening.

Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 6:00 pm

Yeah, that Ruxpin is one baaaaad ass. Laughing

Great idea, SH. Leave Andrew nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.

419Eater is my life Joined: 10 Jul 2008 Posts: 366

Slaphappy

Quote:

If he sets one toe into UK, he is surely a dead man

How much weirder than convincing a lad NOT to safari and view it as a successful bait. If he does go to the UK it is stiill a successful bait Twisted Evil

p.

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