Lucas and The Holy Rollers

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Mon Sep 20, 2010 6:13 pm

This lad was my first bait ever. I had him taking pictures of vacant lots for a church that my company was going to build. We had all sorts of characters. The moneyman, the reverend, the architect, etc. He sent me 20 photos of vacant lots with himself in every picture. I got him to travel to Port Harcourt, but that wasn't far enough for a handsome safari hat.
Then, suddenly, the reverend died and his money was lost in bureaucratic red tape. That was back in June. He has been emailing me ever since to find out about his money. I ignored them all. Then suddenly I saw that Tigbitties baited the same lad, so I figured what the hell, I'll see if I can get him on a Safari.

I introduce a new Reverend:

Quote:

Lucas,

I have been made aware of your situation by Wanda. I am the new Reverend, taking over Rev Shucks position after his untimely automobile accident. My name is Rev Nathan Elliott-Smith.
Anyhow, we are in Abeokuta breaking ground on a new church here. I would gladly pay you your money, plus traveling expenses if you can make it over here. Given the fact that our last attempt was stolen by a MoneyGram agent, it seems, we will not be making any other payments in that fashion ever again.

Please tell me the earliest you can come to Abeokuta. If you would like to call me, my number is 813-704-xxxx

All the best,

Rev.

He sends me this:

Quote:

Hello Rev. Nathan, glad to hear this. I may not be able to come to Abeokuta because am a student and my parents are dead and i find it very hard to eat and catter fo my living here. I dont have all that money for the travel expense to Abeokuta. Its very far from the Abia state where i live with my friend. Please is there no other way of sending me the money not by money gram but by bank transfer. OR you people can come down to either Abia State or Imo State Owerri or Port harcourt which is more close to where am staying. Please i expect to hear from you very soon. Thanks very much. My phone number is +23480xxxxxxx. You can call on me. Remain blessed. Lucas.

My reply:

Quote:

Dear Lucas,

I am sorry, there is no other way. We are all very busy up here. We can add your travel expenses onto the money you are owed, so you shouldn't worry about that.

Nathan

Lucas to Nathan

Quote:

Dear Nathan, Which place in Abeokuta? Give me addres. How do i locate you? Cant you come down to Abia State or Benin City? I have to borrow money from my friend for the journey. Please call me. +23480xxxxxx. Thanks. Lucas

We have a little conversation on the tele.

I give him the name of some hotel I find on line in Abeokuta.

Then I email this:

Quote:

Lucas,

It was nice to talk to you on the telephone. Please follow these instructions carefully:

Email me before you leave for Abeokuta.

Please keep a record of your traveling expenses so that you can be reimbursed--this includes tickets, food, internet time, etc. Just write it down on a piece of paper so that I can have it for the records.

It would be best if you could send me another email as soon as you arrive. My cell doesn't get very good reception when I am out at the construction site. My laptop, however, which I always have on me, has satellite internet so that I can check my email, even if I am getting no phone service.

Ok, we'll see you soon! Looking forward to finally meeting you. God bless!

Rev. Nathan

Lucas to Nathan:

Quote:

Dearest Rev Nathan, i will be coming to Abeokuta on Monday 20th. Before i enter the Bus for the journey i will email you because it is a very long and far distance to Abeokuta. And when i reach, i will call you and also email you. Have a nice day.

I get a few phone calls late last night which I ignore. Then this email comes in.

Quote:

I have started my journey down to Abeokuta. Please pray for my safe journey. Its a long distance 450km from my place. When i reach i will write and call you. Thanks. Lucas

That is far enough for another handsome Safari hat, no?

I went to bed, got up, went to work, and my phone starts ringing off the hook about twenty minutes ago. I also get about 10 frantic emails, including this one.

Quote:

Dear Rev. Nathan,

I am currently in Abeokuta now. I arrived at 6:15 pm. I am currently at the T.J's Guest House Inn, waiting for you. So am currently waiting for you there now. Meanwhile please endeavour to come on time to meet me please because i dont have any other place to stay.

Am anticipating waiting for you there now at the T.J Guest House.

I wait to see you.

Thanks.
Lucas

Sorry Lucas, looks like we are going to have some problems reaching you. Complicated all the more by the fact that my cell phone is having such problems. Sit tight, buddy!

Posted: Mon Sep 20, 2010 6:45 pm

You're turning into a safari machine! Very Happy

Yet another thread to add to my watch list. Wink

Posted: Mon Sep 20, 2010 6:52 pm

Looking forward to another entertaining journey. Smile

It never ceases to amaze me the amount of hope these lads have! Or desperation ...

Posted: Mon Sep 20, 2010 7:12 pm

Quote:

That is far enough for another handsome Safari hat, no?

I should think that it is... Laughing

I am glad you are on our side..... Exclamation

Posted: Mon Sep 20, 2010 7:31 pm

Nowhere Man, excellent work again! Safari

!!!

Posted: Mon Sep 20, 2010 7:36 pm

Thanks guys and gal.

Lucas is pretty f'd right now. Its about 11pm and he is sitting in the lobby of TJ's Guest Inn in Abeokuta. He's probably called me 30 times. I keep telling him I am having trouble with my phone. I'll also call the hotel momentarily and verify that he is there.

Looks like my car is going to break down somewhere between Ibadan and Abeokuta. Lucas will be stredded at least overnight.

Posted: Mon Sep 20, 2010 7:50 pm

Nowhere Man, a tip o' the pith to you, sir. Nicely done. Very Happy

Posted: Mon Sep 20, 2010 8:21 pm

Nowhere Man wrote:

Lucas is pretty f'd right now. Its about 11pm and he is sitting in the lobby of TJ's Guest Inn in Abeokuta. .

Stredded lad !! that sounds symphony to my ear Laughing

Great work Nowhere Man Thumbs up

Posted: Mon Sep 20, 2010 8:39 pm

TJ's Guest Inn is not very happy that he has been waiting there so long. I called them to tell Lucas that my car has broken down between Ibadan and Abeokuta, and they were not pleased. They told me to get there soon because this guy has been waiting there a long time.

Then I got this text from Lucas:

Quote:

Rev. Nathan, i dont have any money with me only a little, am very stranded here sir at the Guest Hotel. It means sleeping outside the roadside. I dont have a computer with me. The hotel just told me that you just called them. They told me that they wil only alow me till 12am at the reception area and after that they wil send me out. Please i beg you to come or call me. I wait to hear from you. Lucas

Seriously, Lucas calls me about every two minutes. It's kind of ridiculous. I had to turn my phone off for a while because I am having trouble getting any work done.

Posted: Mon Sep 20, 2010 9:12 pm

If anyone wants to give Lucas a call just for shits and giggles PM me and I'll give you his number. You could say that you are with me and we are broken down on the side of the road--but we are making EVERY ATTEMPT to reach him.

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Jan 2009 Posts: 1440

Quote:

They told me that they wil only alow me till 12am at the reception area and after that they wil send me out.

Oh noes! Do you think they'll let him curl up somewhere on their property, like a dog? I hope he ate well before leaving home.

OH what will he do?? Crying or Very sad

Posted: Mon Sep 20, 2010 10:17 pm

Always nice to hear of a lad in a state of confusion and panic, loitering in some faraway hotel lobby Smile

Nice job.

Master Baiter Joined: 24 Mar 2009 Posts: 128

Ohhhhh, Awwww, first he says that both parents are dead? he is a student and he has trouble feeding himself and his catter?? But he seems to have funding to have a cell phone & use the internet?? Not to mention running up the cell bill ringing you every two minutes!! Hmm there should be a hostel for wayward, stredded lost lads, wonder if any local lad would take him in???

Posted: Mon Sep 20, 2010 11:54 pm

You think he'll still be awake? Not that it matters.

I'll give him a shout for you. How about I tell him I work for an oil company and towed your car to the next town (further away) so it could be repaired?

ETA> The field mechanic for BP will fix it for you free of charge, but I'll have to tow you to Ibadan. Wink

Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2010 12:35 am

@Cuervo. Sounds good!

PM'd you his number.

Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2010 1:11 am

Lucas ponied up some cash for the hotel and is staying in Room #4. Laughing

Trophy Videos · Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2010 1:39 am

So much for "sleeping outside." Liar! Mad

Nice going, NWM. Thumbs up

Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2010 2:02 am

Good call, Jose!

I don't think Lucas is too quick on the uptake. I loved how you had to say "I don't even know you, sir." a few times before he understood. Also "Go open the door and look at the number on it." was classic!

Room 4, eh? I was hoping he was sleeping under a tree somewhere.

Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2010 2:58 am

This is too good, I can't wait to see what's next!

Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2010 5:03 pm

Our pal Lucas stayed the night in Abeokuta. After Jose Cuervo's call, we see that the Holy Roller mobile carrying Reverend Nathan, Reverend Hammond, and a pretty young American girl named Maria, has been towed to Ibadan.

This guy seriously calls me constantly. Between 8 a.m. his time and 8:15 he called me 7 f'n times. I had to turn my phone off to get some sleep.
I send this email to Lucas:

Quote:

Lucas,

I don't know if it is my phone or yours that gets such terrible reception.

They just told us that it is going to be 6 to 8 hours (if we are lucky) before they can get the part for our car, and then another 4 hours or so to fix--which means we might have to stay another night in Ibadan. It is myself, Rev Hammond, and a very pretty young American girl named Maria who is around your same age. We are looking for a hotel up here in case we get stranded again. They told us of a place called Lafia Hotel.

Can you get up here to Ibadan? We can all get a room and then perhaps we could get you a flight out of Ibadan back to your home. That would be much easier than you taking the bus.

Let me know your thoughts.

Rev Nathan

He writes back:

Quote:

REV. NATHAN,

I WAS SO STRANDED AT THE HOTEL. BECAUSE I HAD A LITTLE MONEY WITH ME. I STAYED TILL 12 PM. I COULD HAVE SLEPT OUTSIDE.THE HOTEL RECEPTIONIST HAD MERCY ON ME AND DECIDED TO HARBOUR ME SECRETLY BECAUSE I HAD NOT ENOUGH MONEY TO PAY FOR THE HOTEL ROOM AND I DONT HAVE ANY WHERE TO STAY IN ABEOKUTA. I STAYED IN ONE OF THE ROOMS TILL THIS MORNING BY 6AM I HAD TO LEAVE THE GUEST INN. I STARTED LOOKING FOR A PUBLIC CYBER CAFE. NOW I HAVE GOTTEN ONE.

SO WHERE ARE YOU PEOPLE CURRENTLY STAYING SO THAT I CAN USE THE LAST MONEY I HAVE WITH ME TO COME DOWN TO IBADAN.
TELL ME THE EXACT PLACE YOU ARE CURRENTLY STAYING NOW SO THAT I CAN LOCATE YOU PEOPLE THERE IN IBADAN. MY MONEY HAS ALMOST FINISHED.

REPLY ME IMMEDIATELY SO THAT I WILL KNOW WHAT TO DO.
THANKS

LUCAS
NB: AM WAITING ONLINE NOW TO HEAR FROM YOU IN THE NEXT ONE HOUR. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT I HAVE JUST A LITTLE MONEY TO PAY FOR THE PUBLIC CAFE TIME.

Rev to Lucas about two hours later:

Quote:

Go to Lafia Hotel. It is large and easy to find. We will be going there later.

We are nowhere in particular now. just roaming the streets like crazy people waiting for the car. Billy is going to drive us somewhere to look for a part. He says he knows a gentleman who can probably get it sooner.

I dont have an address for the hotel yet, but someone suggested it to us.

Please let me know, I wont be able to check my mail for another couple of hours. My battery is dying and must get somewhere to charge it.

Rev Nathan

Rev to Lucas again:

Quote:

Lucas,

My battery is dying. Here is what I can tell you. Billy will drive us up to someone he knows in a village called Oyo as soon as we get the part we need. This man in Oyo is apparently very good at fixing cars. Right now we are just roaming around like a nowhere man.

Then we will come back and stay at Lafia hotel. We can meet you there when you come to Ibadan.

I have to go find a place to charge this battery. It is awful that my cell phone and now my computer are having troubles.

God bless you, Lucas

Please email me detailed instructions as to your plans, that way when I get back on line I will know what to expect for you.

Rev Nathan

Lucas to Rev:

Quote:

DEAR REV. NATHAN

AM GOING TO THE PARK TO ENTER A BUS GOING TO IBADAN NOW. I WILL BE GOING TO LAFIA HOTEL NOW.

SO I WAIT FOR YOUR EMAILS AND CALLS AND I WAIT TO SEE YOU PEOPLE. THIS IS MY LAST MONEY WITH ME AM USING TO MAKE THIS TRIP TO IBADAN NOW.
SO I HOPE TO MEET AND HEAR FROM YOU.
I WILL BE GOING NOW

THANKS
LUCAS

Looks like there is trouble ahead for The Holy Rollers. Jose's character Billy turns out to be somewhat of a bandit.

Rev sends this email to Lucas:

Quote:

Lucas,

We are in a lot of trouble here. Billy has turned out to be a very evil fellow. He is holding us up here in Oyo and is demanding $2000 to return our car to us. They have taken our cell phones. They don't think I get internet on my computer (I told them I was working on a sermon for church) so I am emailing you in secret.

While we were out with Billy I saw a delivery truck. I begged the driver to take a package down to you. I have sent him with all of my money--the entire $6000 dollars--to the Lafia hotel. He has given me some information so that you can get online and monitor the progress of the package. Please use these details as if your life, and ours, depended on it.

Please go to the delivery companies website:

http://www.securewxbdata.com/xxxx-Track/

Click on the tab that says E-Track, and enter this information:

Username: Lxcas1
Password: delivery

This is the parcel number:

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

they tell me you can track it online from any computer and it is accurate to within one meter. We are in very dire straits. Please pray to God for us, and for the strength to see this thing through.

Rev.

More to come (hopefully)

Tracking data redacted- this forum is not behind a log-in and is periodically spidered by Google-MM

Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2010 5:36 pm

Poor Rev. I thought Billy sounded a little shady... it must have been that accent. Wink

Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2010 5:44 pm

Great work Thumbs up

!
Can't wait to see more.

Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2010 6:26 pm

He keeps whining that he has no money but somehow he seems to have enough to stay in hotels and take busses. You may have to move him a bit further until he really does run out of money. Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2010 7:21 pm

If you want Billy to call with some demands, let me know. Laughing

Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2010 7:28 pm

Great job Nowhere Man. I'll be keeping my eyes on this thread Smile

Lucas and The Holy Rollers	View next topic View previous topic