My Letter to Olga

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Posted: Sat Sep 11, 2010 11:13 am

Okay, I just caught my blooper in the title-this one's name is Olga, Anna is the one I quoted in my sig

This one wrote some of the best broken English sentences i've ever seen, and I managed to milk 13 e-mails out of her before I created my story about why I have no money. I did censor out the one cuss word in my reply just in case since i'm new here.

ESL Reply #4

Hi! Have good day! The computer in a service acquaintances found to me some structures of the people, which coincide with mine by inquiry. I previously studied them and has decided to send you to first the message because your structure seems to me more interesting. I hope, that you have time to send me some messages, That we could better learn each other. I shall tell slightly about myself; mine age 26 years, the friends name me Olga. I was not behind the husband and I live in an apartment my parents. In 2002 I have finished medical university, and 4 years I to work nurse in hospital of the city.
To me to like active rest, periodically I am engaged by sports for maintenance of a body. I love to travel and to be in different places, but my work does not allow me to do it frequently. I have much the friends, we sometimes together spend time, we play in billiards and bowling, We have other entertainment. I send you the picture, that you knew my person.
Also I want to ask you to send me some pictures you. Please ask things, interesting for you, about me and inform me some The information on you: what you love an entertainment? What your character? What qualities you love in the women? Whether you had the wife? I shall answer on your questions and to inform you it is more about itself in the following email! I shall wait your messages. Your friend Olga.

And now, my turn….

Olga-
Hi! I do have good day, you are the psychic one. Glad for you I am of the
computer services found to you by acquaintances of yours, and inquiry made by you. Which sections of structure of mine is most intellectually stimulating for brain of yours? I do find myself having brackets of time in which I could further make the communications with person you, for knowing of you would be the pleasure of mine.
As for to telling of myself, I have been in existence for 31 years, the parents named me Dan, but friends call me Dan, Danarchy, or "that crazy f****!". I too was not behind anyone, wedding bells have never been heard by me, but hopeful to me for listening to them at further way time event.
In 2003 school was begun for me, and hopeful I am to still someday achieve psychology degree, but injury to brain of mine has progress slowed for me. I am currently making of employment by way of fast food restaurant, but I am liking this work, for these are good people, and continuing my employment there I will do until further re-entrance at school at later days.
I am liking spending of time in bed asleep, especially when the headache
defeats me like the wrestling match with a Russian bear. The active one I am not, beer muscles are growing at catastrophic level. Activity more good, but headaches would crash, and intensity plus! I too sent you the picture, but picture already used in profile Me, so already known of you by the person me?
To tell what I love an entertainment, I like car crashes! Moving films with crashes of vehicles making adrenaline me surge, and music of noise with many guitars and drums speeding, with man screaming! Enjoyment fast cars, fast music, and simple women! I never had the wife, women flee my psychosis. I am the wild one who does not stop to smell the roses. I am train wreck.
Day good-
Dan

Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2010 5:22 pm

That's a good start Darong!

Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 12:53 am

ESL Reply #5: I Am Such A Jackass

Hi Dan! I am pleased to receive your answer-back message. Thank for your picture, she me to like. I shall be to increase and to unpack it. Dan, yours e-mail means for me, that I too was interesting to you. You really Dan, see a picture me nice? Dan, at me is present to you. It is a lot of questions and I would like to ask them in the messages, I hope you will give me the answers on them - ok? You for me the nice man, And on this for me it is important to know your opinion about some things. I think, that you read my structure and could there see, that I have serious intentions to get acquainted with the good man for the relations.
I shall try to tell slightly about my character. I do not know as it to begin, I think, that I the very romantic man. I love to communicate with the people, it is pleasant to me good humor. I very much appreciate such qualities in the people, as a fidelity and honesty. I believe in love, and I consider it as a very valuable thing, which needs to be protected. I very much the jealous man. I adore, when me speak compliments and is
ready to listen to them indefinitely.
For me it is necessary, that around of me there was a cleanliness and order, I frequently am engaged harvest. Also to me to like to prepare meal, various tasty things. It is pleasant to me the romantic relations between the man and by the woman, but probably all women dream to get acquainted with good by the man to have with it the beautiful romantic relations. But frequently such things come to an end very quickly. I have no intention to spend myself for such acquaintances. While I have not met in the life of such man, to which I would decide to give back myself and life, but me would like to find such man. I think, that for the woman main to have in life not career or other success, and strong family and favorite man beside what to care of it. Tell please, what woman you dream to meet in the life? Excuse Dan, that I ask you to discuss such frank thing with by the man, which you know couple of days, but it is interesting to me to know It about you.
I shortly have written to you my sights on life, if to you there will be it interesting, that we can discuss these themes in more detail then. I shall wait for yours e-mail. Yours faithfully
Olga.

So I replied…

Olga, hello!
Many thanks are directed your way for returning my return of your returned e-mail. The thanks are offered again for you another picture sent, I you to like as well, of picture. I, Dan, really see a picture you nice! On the questions of you, I try answers to direct at you.
I you the nice woman, did read profile you, and acknowledgement that
structure you is seriousness of knowing the good man. I think that I also the very romantic woman. I funny with the people, good laughs is provided by me, for the people, to cause humor enjoyment of the persons many. I give compliments of you, you are the beauty, outside and within.
Keeping of my dwelling cleanliness is necessary, so it is done me, I cleaning enjoyment. I two know of person of attachment leavings too soon, often times I wish for handcuffs for the keeping. I am expertise of the cook, frozen dinners for the microwaving, canned pasta and canned soup are my specialties. In living time of mine, I hopeful of meeting the
woman who will manufacture many children of me. I to have great career as psychiatrist, but still long years from doing.
Choosy is not me, simply I to wish for woman of intelligence, beauty, and humor, just like me, except that I am not woman. Heart of gold too. And nice car. And an enormous bank account. Implants are nice too, but necessity they are not. Well, leaving I should be doing soon, sleeping to start, goodbye now!
Dan

Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 10:10 pm

lleter of you, Dan is ffuny much i down fell my seats!! hahaha

Posted: Tue Oct 05, 2010 2:20 am

I'm sorry everybody, i've stayed so busy I kind of forgot to add another chapter. Here's a few more:

ESL Dating Reply #6

I am starting to think that all I have to do is reply, just say anything and I will get a reply back from this one. I thought I already tested the waters when I told her that things like implants and a huge bank account are important qualities in the woman I am dating. If this reply doesn't work, I might just keep it going for awhile, all in the name of comedy. I usually don't even get a reply after I send them a bad English reply of my own, so three from the same woman is just plain weird.
Maybe next I should just send her a random collection of words? That's pretty much what she sends me, so why not? Of course, I haven't even factored in the possibility that she might be an actual person, and she's falling for me in spite of my bad English, but for now, I will just assume she's a spammer and she's going to ask me for $1000 in about a week.

Dear Dan!
A thank for this e-mail from you, your messages really pleasant me. This week is present new theme for reflections, and these new ideas excite me. I do not know as you, Dan but for me begins to have importance our exchange e-mail. It is new emotions in my quiet heart. For me it is not usual, to get acquainted with the man on e-mail, behind many miles from me and it is possible to have the relation. I did not inform to you earlier Dan the address, because it is not enough knew you. I live in average area of Russia, in city Kazan.
To it far from you, differently to us was not necessary for a regret much e-mail, to learn each other. We could meet, talk, to carry out some time together and not bad to learn each other. But for us it will be not a fast way. But I hope, that it will not be problem for us, if we shall decide to do it in the future. I already made some travels to other countries. I traveled, as the tourist, in Europe; it is Turkey, Italy, Germany.
Therefore, Dan, you should not have excitements that is present distance between us. I such woman, that if I shall love the man, for meeting with it, I shall reach even on the moon. In our days is a problem to make such travels. I not worry about it and even have devoted feelings, having got acquainted with by the man on the other hand. For me it is very interesting feelings - to learn the man with other culture, thinking, traditions. It one of things - which draws me to you. Not the main thing, - but new and interesting. Probably if our relations will be strong and you Dan, can learn the mysterious Russian woman. I hope, that for you it is interesting to learn and to test love of such woman? I think, road Dan, that you can not long resist to mine female magic, if happen so, that we shall be person to the person. On it I finish my message to you Dan. I wait for your messages.

Yours Olga.

Here’s where I start pushing the jokes a little too far.

Deer Olga!
Repeated thanking from email of yours, your message is pleasant made me as well. You were saying it is new emotions in quiet heart of yours? What emotions new is it? Often I do find me causing the laughs, but that mostly when I view myself in mirror. For me also it is unusual not to get acquainted with persons on computer, but closeness it is made obstacle by distance behind me for meeting of the woman.
Thanking from me at you for telling to me of city location of you, I knew not of your living at Kazan. Far from me it is, but love to see it someday would I. I am glad it is now enough knew me to you home city disclosure for me. I concur it is not bad to learn each other, I of you will love to do learn, you can learn me anything. I would love to do a meeting in days of the future, but financials prevention would obstacle create. I am not A lot of money earning while in school, so flying will not be optional for distant amounts of time, unless I grow my own wings.
I have not traveled by the wings since age 13, when plane was stopped by the terrorists and we went to Cuba. I will say it was nice, but we wanted to go to happy sunny Florida instead. I guess I can say I traveled as the hostage to foreign country, but I haven't voluntarily gone to foreign country since the age of 5. The last time of flight was traumatic, but therapist says continue with pills and weekly visits, it will be under good control.
I do not have great excitements of present distance creating the gap between us, I simply caution in meeting of people so distant from my location. Each occasion of mine making acquaintance with the far away woman it is deleted in both of us sorrowed for me not having money for plane ticket of her. I am at least grateful for you not having to fly to moon, for I that far away am not, and how impossible that is?
Interested I am in learning the mysterious Russian woman, I am fascinated by Russia and Russian culture. Trying to learn your language was hard, but give up does not I, for I don't quit until I win. In event that you the Russian woman did make the arrival in this place, I will admit difficulties I would have to give resistance to your female magic. For you to victory of me, you only have to get me into bed, and then we would be person to the person.
I must say I am really enjoying this, I cannot to wait that I heard from you again!

Dan

ESL Dating Reply #7: Try to find the line I stole from the band Genesis

Hi my dear! I am very glad to receive your letter. Our exchange of opinions is interesting to me and I think, that now I can make some opinion on what your character. Today on work I thought of you and, it was pleasant for me to know, that there is a person, which thinks about to me, reads my ideas and writes something for me. And how you Dan?
Dear, I would like to learn, how you love to spend the free time. I the very cheerful man also think out various entertainments for itself and friends. It can be the different things: dances, cinema, party or entertainment on a nature. Today we with friends plan to have some entertainment. It will be possible it is club or a disco. It is a pity, that now not there are opportunities to invite you there because you it is far. I think, that we with you could carry out perfectly together evening. I hope, that we shall make still it in the future and we can well have fun. But if to speak frankly, in last time these entertainments give I have less pleasure. I frequently dream of romantic evening with the favorite man, it can be supper or simply walk. I think, what in it there is a lot of charm. You the romantic man Dan? Whether you think, sometimes, of such things? You like cozy evenings with the family? I very much love holidays, when all family is going together, behind one table.
It is very cozy and is comfortable for me. And how you love to carry out holidays dear? What
for you does a coziness and rest? Tell to me please about it Dan. Dan, excuse me for a question: whether there is at you now any woman? I think, that you are good, as the man and to like many women. Because at me good taste, and you to like me. What your personal life now, please tell about it. Probably you have to me any frank questions? I shall answer them. Write to me more in detail about the feelings and desires, me to like to read, when you tell about yourselves, I am ready to listen about it. I wait for your messages. Mine hugs.

Yours Olga.

I replied by saying hello in Russian, but she never even acknowledged it…

Zdravstvootye Olga! I am glad you are glad of receipt for letter mine. What opinions make you on the character of mine? Friends tell of me which I am the character, so I cannot question this, that I have character, since they state I am it. I forgetful of if you tell me, what of a work place makes you? I too have to told to you of I thoughts of you while in the working. I work the restaurant, and yet I find of myself wishing for a good hot container of borsch. I am knowing that teacher says it is greatest served not hot, but like it hot I do.
On the question of how I am, I am well today, the head does not feel like prepared for launch. How is it of the health for you? Mine improvement, I do good with the better medicine. I enjoyment a music for the relaxing at night, I to playing Michael McDonald at time now. I like all music, but slow the better for late to sleep. On the free time (when it exists), I can't dance, the only thing about me is the way I walk.
I am party once a week, in karaoke bar, like to consume excessive amounts of alcohol on some occasions, but not exclusively excess. I spend great amounts of time on the writing, I am working the book. Next Friday the friends and me to go for karaoke and alcohol, not the Friday that occurred yesterday. I will bring you to it to enjoy with us if ever you were in this place, but not now you are. I too hope that we can make still it in the future, filled with the fun. I do enjoyment of the cuddles on couch with the viewing of cute amusement movie, or "romantic comedy" as they say it here. Why for to go with the people in past of recent when fun abandons you? Is the evenings of solitude not enjoyment, even with relatives in the same place of dwelling with you?
Hopeful to Easter Sunday makes for the more enjoyment for entertainments to you. The family me makes the gathering of all major holidays-New Years, Easter, birthdays, Independence Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Secretary Day. My sister makes large banquet, with several casseroles and turkey or other option ham.
As for the time now, there is not any women at me, but when one is at me, I need only one. Well, sleeping must commence soon, so I will repeat this on the day next. I am acknowledged I must still answer other email you sent, but all is well, I will attempt to return to caught up on the day next. Goodbye!
Dan

Originally, I closed by saying goodbye in Russian, but I was too afraid people would get lost reading that.

ESL Dating Reply #8: Bad News

Hi mine lovely! I hope, that at you all OK! Today my work is completed earlier and I, having written you this letter, I shall prepare dinner for my family. By mine to the mum it is slightly bad with health and today to me to prepare it. By the way, dear, what foodstuffs is favorite For you? That you prefer; sweetness, meat, fish? Inform me it Dan. I be able not bad to cope on to kitchen, my mum cared of it many years back. You can be convinced of it, in due time. I easily do various salads, soups, and also game and fish. In the greater degree I prefer a fish, and also me very much to like fruit; kiwi, bananas, pineapples. Today houses I shall prepare the Chinese hen and vegetable salad. Probably you, Dan, love the tasty foodstuffs. We have proverb: " way to heart man - passes through his stomach! " I was many times convinced of it, when observed of my father. Therefore, Dan, I shall reach to your heart with the help of my culinary abilities. It is a joke!!! Now I am sent on kitchen. I hope, that my daddy will be pleased. I wait for your messages! My kisses.
Yours Olga.

Is it just me, or is her English improving?

Hello once again, Olga!
I am in front of computer at slightly late hour as repeated of the previous day. I to have eaten nice Easter dinner, mine roommate's mum prepared a turkey for dinner, and the turkey ate everything! I only kid, she made turkey, squished potatoes, corn and rolls made from bread. I was forced to settle for plate of leftovers since I was at the work today, but it was only five hours shift, so not all bad. I too able to care of the kitchen not bad as well, my specialist is the Swedish meatballs. I prepared for gathering my brother had once, and they went so fast, I was startled!
My preferences for freshly prepared food is lasagna or pizza, vegetarian lasagna is the supreme one, if lacking the mushrooms and olives. The mushrooms and olives are not well received by me, I will stick them to ceiling if forced to eat. The best dessert for me is the cheesecake, I to enjoy experimentation with different flavors. I much would love to find way to create white chocolate cheesecake. I did find method for creation of egg nog cheesecake at holiday times, and it was most splendid! I view that you are most correct about way to man's heart, getting there through the stomach would be quite proficient!
Most women I have known in previous experiences thought the ribcage was excellent route to it, but they all would tear it out and feast for the dinner on it. Is shame you are halfway across the Earth from location me, we could invite to share our culinary enjoyments. O.K., so catching up on yours emails is completed, I wait with patience for reply sent from yours. My turn for kisses!
Dan

ESL Dating Reply #9

Hi my dear Dan! I am glad again to speak with you! A thank for yours e-mail. I am glad, Dan, that in our relations there is a progress and we became closer people. I tell about you to my parents and friends much. They hope, what will get acquainted sometime with you Dan. They insist, that I would acquaint you with them, my parents are especially persevering. I have told them, that is serious I treat you Dan, also that you the good man.
You know Dan, that the parents always wish to children only good also are pleased, when their children are happy in all. My daddy loves catching a fish and he now goes pleased. On an apartment also speaks, that now he has man, which can be invited for catching a fish. I am long laughed and has told him , that at all I do not know, you love it to make whether or not. Also that he is early pleased, you see it is possible to you not interestingly.
Also know, what he answered? he has told, that in the summer he will prepare for you a good fishing tackle also will learn you to cook present "soup". And you, Dan, told to the close people about me? What they have opinion? Inform me please about It . You have any plans concerning our relations ? I think, that for us it will be very good, if we can carry spend some days together. It will strengthen our relations and will help us better to find out each other. Probably the next month we can meet. For example in Europe or other place.
Understand me correctly Dan, I can not invite you to myself yet. I live at the parents and for the present not I know enough you for this purpose. Between us there were only our messages and I think, that it is better to us, at first to meet in the friend place. I very much would want to be with you alone, to see you by the eyes and touch to you! Dear, so we can make complete opinion on us, find out about many things. Let's discuss it Dan. I wait for yours Opinions, I miss also kiss you.

Yours Olga.

So I replied…

Hello again to Olga! Love to speak literally to you, but optional not yet, so email will function for these times. Thanks to you again for email back. I am regretful of slowness for response time to email yours, but work time spent has been maximized in times recent, so at home I am not much at all. Father you is enjoyment of fish catching too? My father also fishing like, but beer seems to cause interference with fish time. I have not been to the fish myself since age 15, plus I lost pole in reservoir at big fish catch while I asleep time. It would be possible for me to do again, but I know not how I could reach Russia from here, with income of mine.
I have to return to the schooling at August, so time plenty until then, but money will be a void. I have told sister of cute Russian e-mailings of me, but she wary because of last two. In past talking with overseas women, they are trying only to achieve gaining of money of mine. But this is fruitless, because a lot of money is not present in my bank. At current time, I will have felt fortunate for having money to return to school, which will occur since eternally working.
It is bad working this much, not time for talking with the people of close attachment. I have not spoke to brother one in, I think, a month? The other relocated to place his own from family, and I have to find of it first. Needless to say, after all readings completed, you must worry not about meeting yet. It would be nice to meet at friendly place, but I would have fortune smiling at me if I even buy bus ticket for movement of my person to location other than this! Hey, idea of mine-are you having the instant messenger on computer? You could always use that to chat online instead of email, but time differences in zone would make meeting at same time obstacle.
I have to admit, there is a Russian movie I would love to cuddle up on the couch and enjoy with someone Russian, have seen you a film called "Goodbye, Lenin"? It features woman loyal to communist party who gets hospitalized and ends up in coma, and when she wakes, communism is gone! It is up to her sons to convince her that communism still rules, because doctors tell them one more shock could give her heart attack and kill her! It easily was one of best film I viewed in year past.
Well, I must be sleeping soon, so, goodbye again for time of now!

Dan

ESL Dating Reply #10

Hi my lovely Dan ! I am glad to see yours e-mail. To me pleasantly to learn , that you support idea to meet and also wish me to see and to spend with me time. I think, that in our following messages we can discuss in more detail our meeting and establish time and a
place for this purpose. I want to tell to you dear, that it is very pleasant, for the woman to be convinced that exist the man which waits her also wants to hold in the hands. Such idea influences opinions women and her behavior.
Therefore thank you Dan , that you have given me to feel it. And what you have ideas and imaginations about that day, when you will meet me? Inform me please it. Dear, at me there is a plenty of ideas, how we can to spend together our time. I was grasped with an idea about to our meeting for me and I have this joyful event from it much emotions. Such as excitement both the big impatience and expectation of this day .
You have brought the whole sea of emotions in my life Dan , and it is difficult for me with it to consult, but I can tell, that it pleasantly and gave me new push and the purpose for life. I think, lovely, that it is necessary for us to arrange our meeting so that there were no difficulties and inconveniences in our affairs. I can arrange on my work, that to have some days free for me. Dan , and your work will be to allow you to make it? Probably you have the intense schedule with the work also you should be absent. Then we can meet more close from you or even I could arrive to you on some days. For me there is no problem to make longer travel. If such way more convenient for you and my arrival to not create inconvenience for you Dan , let's choose this plan.

It for me even it is more good, because I can see as you live , your friends, you can show me the city and various, that you can loved for you, a place. And if for you it is necessary to visit the work. My work not so important also can manage without me, therefore I do not worry about the affairs. Inform me dear, the opinions! If it is a good way for you too I shall make preparations for travel. My kisses and embraces.
Yours Olga.

I remember I managed to get this one out in spite of a nasty migraine.

Hello time again to Olga!
Sorry slow it is for email mine. Headache today bad, make work stops and medicine flow excessive. It is good time you want spending with me, support idea I do. Is difficulty finding of decent man in Russia great? It wonders me of meeting person to go far of meeting, for cohabitating with person of opposite sex. I too wanting of woman to hold in the hands, but not make the woman that small anymore! I want one to have in front shirt pocket and scream at face mine when stupid something I do.
If arrival makes you to out here, I go to the airport. We go taxi to nice place of food, and there, we eat. We have drink too. Actually, I have five, or eight, or seventy three. Joke! I not really drink that many, I kidding! A twelve pack is plenty for me! I hope you emotion sea has not piranha or shark, they tend to eat heart me, and regurgitate leftovers for other carnivores.
I now work day six in week, time is enemy, arch enemy! Money is not good, but this doing only until school again begin, then I work less and less money making. I may have to buy printer for the printing of money mine! Oh, I kid again, but this make it hard for ticket fly. If fly out want you, problem not, you go for it! I am good heart, funny ( and not just looking), and brain. Disappointment not, unless looking for money, then you are sorely disappointed! I to be financially strained in school, but only for ten year more!
I would rather you see the work in August, when school is job again, but if you like restaurant, I could buy you strawberry fresh fruit slush when we go. You to meet friends me, and other people, even hate of me, so spit at them you. Apologies, kid again, I do not even have anyone to hate. I am person people.
Well, I to sleep now, my turn for the kissing and imaginary hugs. Goodbye!

Dan

Posted: Tue Oct 05, 2010 8:48 am

Your emails are so amusing, Darong!

Have you read this published bait, which also features a Vlad who didn't even quickly read the incoming mails?

Proof is proof was needed that they don't read all your work

If you google some lines from Olga's emails, you'll see that they are used by other scammers (or possibly the same scammer using different names), so I think that helps confirm that your correspondent isn't genuine. I googled these two lines and had several results, especially with the second one:

Quote:

I such woman, that if I shall love the man, for meeting with it, I shall reach even on the moon.

Quote:

I was grasped with an idea about to our meeting for me and I have this joyful event from it much emotions.

Also, if you look at the headers of Olga's emails, you may find the inclusion of the words 'The Bat!' This is a mass-mailing programme ... which a genuine individual, writing to one man, would not need to use.

Posted: Tue Oct 05, 2010 7:20 pm

It's so much more fun when it's obvious that they aren't reading what I say to them! That was part of my reasoning for creating characters like the 3'2", 175 pound crackhead that was writing to the gynecologist in my other post. I'm thinking when I go to start my third collection, i'm gonna create an 89-year old guy for the ones that say they want a man that's age 18-110. After I get done running errands i'll come back & post the story of the homeless alcoholic I created that was drunk driving cross country to meet the beautiful Russian woman he found on a dating site.

Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 2:11 am

I know, I haven't been here in ages, I was doing a huge football writing project on Yahoo. i've been researching and writing since August, and now i'm only a couple of weeks away from being done. I created a series on the best NFL players drafted with each individual pick, and titled it Pick By Pick. the one i'm working on now has Antonio Freeman, Terrell Owens, and Andre Reed. The next one i'm writing has Joe Montana at pick #82, and John Stallworth was drafted with the same pick!
So, back on subject, sorry...here's the last installment in my Olga series:

E.S.L. Dating Reply #11? I think...

I've lost count, my head is a bit hazy right now, but I tried anyway. Language hers improvement vanishes, maybe thinking she of language mine good, so does she what I do in language ours.
Hi my lovely!
It is pleasant for me to read your words. I am glad to learn , that you are ready to accept me in the house. Thank, that you trust me, my dear. Dan, I want to tell to you that in the past the message I wanted to check, as far as seriously you treat to me.
Forgive for this lovely, but you should understand me. For me was it is very important to know, whether you will agree to accept me in the he house whether or not. If you insisted, that we met somewhere in hotel or in the other place, - that to me should to think, what not you want to play host to me because you have the wife or you not it is serious enough to me, and you want to meet me for an entertainment. It check - was small precaution.
I heard, that many people get acquainted to have only sex with the new person, though in the structure inform, that have serious intentions. Now I am sure in you Dan , and I am glad, that you appeared really that the person whom I want to meet!
Loved, I with big pleasure, I shall carry out at you some days. These days I shall reach in agency of travel and to receive the information for that, to reach to you the next month. I shall inform you for detail about it in the following e-mail. I wait your messages.

I of you adore mine dear Dan! My kisses!!!

Yours Olga.

Olga is going to be in for a shock soon....

Hello time again Olga!
I am really joyful of readings of e-mail you. Company in home of me would cause good, I not social much in times recent. Headaches problem yesterday bad, work left early. Understanding of you for checking of certainty of seriousness me. If you I were, not would want to fly halfway across planet for stranger known only by internet, if seeming even a little untrusting.
I am not hurrying the sex, I too poor for children, and time consumed of the school, so time would be eaten. I do hope to you for carry out at me some days, it would great joy bring to meet at you in month that gets here next. I of you adoration express! You are brave soul! My turn for kisses! {-}(-) (-) (-)
You Dan

E.S.L. Dating Reply #12- I am on a roll tonight!

Hi my dear!
I am glad to your message and thank, that you understand me. You are, one of those few people Dan, in which I can find understanding. How has passed your day dear? I hope, that at you all OK!
I have some news to you Dan. Today I had conversation with agency of travel. They have told, that to receive the visa of the tourist in your country difficultly, but they, probably can to help me in it. The agent did not begin to discuss a detail by and we have appointment made tomorrow.
Tomorrow I shall meet them and to discuss a question with the visa. I hope, lovely, that all will be - OK.
I have some excitement concerning all it, but also I have firm intention to meet you dear! Therefore any difficulties and charges of money, will not stop me. Write to me, yours messages, dear, give me many forces and energy. My gentle kisses.
Yours Olga.

I think I pushed it a bit with the jokes in this one…

Hello again and again Olga!
Time is not the arch enemy today, so writing problematic is not. Two e-mails is easy, I could probably do three even, if three letters I had for response.
How does life go to you in there? I will be at rest soon, so work easy tomorrow, energy lots, plentiful! I hope agency of travel helpful, United States is difficulty for entry because of terrorism fears, Al Qaeda mostly. I do not know this man, but Al must be a scary shape shifting guy if they suspect everyone is him!
Did answer they provide for question visa you? It does sound excitement, meet you would be great for me, great you too, hopeful! I wish you to afford plane ticket and not get stranded in another city there. I wish you much power and energy at you! My kisses gentle too! <3 <3<3<3

Dan of yours

E.S.L. Dating Reply #13: Stupid Is As Stupid Does

I tried to make myself sound really stupid this time. You'll probably notice this pretty quickly in my reply, as I got confused over who this agent Travel is and which agency he works for. I'm still convinced this is just a Nigerian scammer since she has yet to use any Russian lingo to reply to mine. I'm sure she can figure out what I mean when starting a sentence with zdravstvootye, since that's Russian for hello.
Besides, if she really does come all the way out here, I could always just marry her! I'm too far out in left field for anyone in America anyway! O.K., enough rambling, here's the latest installment of the ongoing Olga Saga:
Hi mine lovely Dan!
I am glad again to speak with you! Dear, I have good news to you. Today I have met the agent Travels to learn concerning the visa. It has explained to me a situation about reception of the visa to you. Your government has made stricter control for entrance to the country because of terrorisms and consequently to receive to you the visa uneasy, but agency it will do for me. The agent has told, that they recently already received some visas of the tourists in your country.
I am very glad Dan, that we will not have with it large difficulties. I at first had fears, that the agency can not it to do or for this purpose the very long time will be required. But the agent has told, that the visa will require at them two or three weeks. Tomorrow I will need to reach in office of agency, to sign there contract and also we shall decide question on payment them. Now it is time to me to go lovely to do photos for the visa and to fill in the questionnaire for embassy. The agent has told, it should be is prepared tomorrow, when I shall come to them in office. I very pleased Dan, that now our preparations have begun and in small time we shall be together! Write to me lovely ideas, I wait for your messages. Kiss you!!!

Yours Olga.

Agent Travels? I had a field day with this one!

Hello time again, Olga!
How is things in Russia to you? I happy agent Travels able to help in acquisition of the Visa. Maybe should have you applied for Mastercard instead? Never mind, as commercial say, "Visa, it's everywhere you want to be," so I guess need you, as commercial is correct?
This agent Travels is nice guy, I would like to meet him someday too. Does he work for KGB? Which agency is employment making of he? It is nice he is making of it not difficulties for us meeting, at least large difficulties are not happen.
Did he mention any medium difficulties? I will just hope for not difficulties of any for things do you. Two or three weeks not great time length, time span is good! Do visa photo person allow funny faces? That would make a funny if sticking tongue out at camera you!
I big appreciation for work you to meeting us, for togetherness! I can't wait for more pictures and words of you! Kisses more!
Dan

E.S.L. Dating Reply #14: I am the psychic one, no?

The event I saw coming like a deer in oncoming headlights has finally occurred-it looks like she's going to need money! She claims she had planned on spending $200 on the visa, but it was more like $450, so she's over budget by $250 already. Shall we make early wagers here on how much she's going to ask for? Of course I am not just going to open up my wallet or my checkbook for a complete stranger I know only through e-mail.

Hi my dear!
I am glad again to welcome you and I with impatience I wait, when I can tell you HI - personally. A thank for your message. Dan, my day was very much intense and is very tired. I reached in office of agency and signed with them the contract. In conformity with the contract, the agency will prepare to me all documents for travel, to buy for me the ticket and to deliver me to the plane.
From my city there are no planes to you and consequently I at first will need to reach in Moscow, And there from already to you. My agent needs some information for a route of the plane, inform me dear, address and the nearest airport to you, in which I shall arrive. This information is necessary tomorrow, that the agent could develop route and to establish all cost of travel.
Today I them paid first part of money, for visa and other documents for travels. It was in some times more than I thought. I planned, that visa will cost for me about 200 $, but because of difficulties for its reception is was for me $450. Dear, it is possible, that to me yours will be required the help for payment of other part of cost of travel. I have some money still, & also took some money at my parents, but it is possible them will not suffice for payment of the second part of cost, for insurance and tickets. It will be known after the agent will develop a route.
The second part of cost I should pay under the contract, how to take away the visa. I shall inform you Dan, if it to be necessary to me the help. Hope, that it will not be problem for you and I can not worry about it. I have informed you all news about progress of our meeting and now I am sent to have a rest, I am very tired today. I hope, what soon I can embrace you Dan . I wait for your messages mine favorite. My kisses and embraces!

Yours Olga.

P.S. Do not overlook to inform the address and near airport.

I didn’t “overlook it”, I simply didn’t tell her.

Whoa Olga, stop everything! Spend money not anymore if need you me for to contribute money. I hours at work just got lost after bad migraine last weekend, money is going to be difficult for six weeks more with bills coming also. I understand how not of you to get visa now, when application time is October to December.
Be careful dealing with office, they may be con if they say you can fly soon when application through US is not until October according to website I found. I hope you had a good rest, exhaustion this brings me just to think of it. I look to Google to see troubles you for apply visa, and it looks difficult.
I know not understanding how they process application when looking to be October for process. I to like for meeting of you, but not for breaking of money you, take care of first you. I make sure I secure before planning any fun, and same should do you (I would!). I to have day short tomorrow at work, so I to send messages again then. I embrace and hugs!
Your Dan.

P.S. The nearest airport is Colorado Springs Airport if you still need that for some reason.

E.S.L. Dating Reply #15: The End?

I made my weirdest one yet, I think. I just told her I am going to go become a secret agent, because it appeared to me that she referred to me as , "you the agent". If she e-mails me again, I am going to refer to myself as Agent double o zero instead of Dan. Also, I can't help but notice she seems to keep having gender identity issues-now she is the independent man! On the bright side, I have figured out how to do this sort of thing myself if I ever wanted to, there are just three easy steps in the formula:

1-She has to gradually establish that I am alone, lacking a female companion here. By
using this information, she builds a perceived closeness with me through her e-mails to me.

2-She assures me that I AM A STRONG MAN, and I can do anything to help her, because WE will be together when WE get her financial woes taken care of. She is playing on the first step by telling me how much she wants us to be together.

3-She establishes that she needs my help, and that I can do it, since I am A STRONG MAN.
And that my friends, is how these dating site scammers make it work! Just read her letter below for the full tutorial.
Hi favorite Dan!
I am glad to read your message and to learn, that I can hope for your help in payment of agency. Dear, I feel myself slightly inconveniently. Because I had to address to you behind the help. I always considered myself as the independent man, which can decide all problems. But, this time, I could not all take into account and was mistaken that I can itself to pay all travel.
When I traveled earlier, it cost for me less. But I is happy, that now at me there is you, Dan- a man, which can come to me to the aid and help me in life. After ours acquaintances, at me varies sensations itself. Earlier I considered myself as the strong and independent man, and it was pleasant To feel, that I can care of myself. And now I feel myself simply by woman, which requires support. But it is pleasant for me, to feel beside the strong man, which protects me from all excitements of life!
Dan, I have informed a place of arrival to you the agent and it expected the stayed charges for me. It will be for me 1350 $. Here tickets, insurance, road up to the airport and some other necessary charges. I still had money, After payment of the first part of cost. It about 600 $, and now me is necessary, through 6-7 days about 750 $, to pay in Agency the second part of cost of travel. I hope dear, that this money not difficulty for you and you can help To me to pay, in 6-7 days, 750 $ in agency. I shall learn from the agent, as you can send them it.
Lovely, I hope, that I did not do to you difficulties by the haste. Probably it is the not planned expenditure for you. If it so, do not become angry with me please! I very much miss on you and I wait for our meeting. I wait for your messages Dan!
Thousand kisses.
Yours Olga.

It’s time to tell her again it is an impossible expenditure.

Hi favorite Olga! Knowing not of other Olga's, but did I even know them, yours would be favorite still!
I think I know not why you are hopeful of help of mine in moneys for the travel, my health is afflicting work schedule mine, and money is less. If it is so inconvenient to feel yourself, I would be happy to offer a hand, but I am so far away. Maybe time of next you to address to me in front of the help? Would that feel you better? I would! I have always seen to me as the independent woman, I do all things by myself, including bathing and feeding!
If you had researched before to go spending on visa and ticket, you could have discovered short comings, but you overseas women always seem to jump first, and then discover safety net not there. Why was it cost you less when traveled you last time? Was distance not as long in journey for to go?
Worry not you, you are strong woman, you can find way to come here. As you said in earlier email, not even money can stop you! If manage you to arrive here, I will take care of room and board. I have spare bed which pulls out from under mine, we will just be two happy teddy bears together!
I'm confused though, when did I become the agent? You informed a place of travel to me, the agent? I have always wanted to be a James Bond type, so I guess I to go make plastic badge and become secret agent, traveling the world to foil crime of terrorists!
Thank you Olga for inspiration and direction! I shall never forget you, for inspiration and direction, I shall now become secret agent! Maybe we can meet up someday in our travels together, I might even end up in Russia chasing terrorist who plots terrorism! Goodbye for now and endless thanks, I to go catch terrorists!
Dan

E.S.L. Dating Reply #16: I made an A.S.S. of myself

I received an email from her with this title in the headline-how to us to be? I'm amazed she even replied after I emailed her the entire last blog! I think it's just a desperate last ditch attempt to get me to send money, but maybe she'll shock me and send me an actual phone number in Russia.

Lovely I was very glad to receive the message from you again, but it were bad news to both of us. Dan I hoped, that I can pay the travel, but it appeared expensively for me. I hoped, that you can help me...
We waited for this moment some days and I did all necessary to receive documents necessary for travel, it cost many money... Dan I understand, it is many money for both of us, but Dan I have spent all money for payment of documents for travel. Lovely, I cannot receive this money back. How to us to be? You have ideas how to help me?

So I decided to become a secret agent…

Hello my far away beauty! I got accepted in the Agents Secret School (ASS), to go to be for special agent. Since you I cannot have, option this I choose for life mine. I did warn of money problems time ago many, that I cannot add mine in. if not for scholarship, I not go to secret agent school, but scholarship they give, my dad was greatest ever for them in 60's, so they wanted me.
I fear that us to be not, so I choose to be special agent instead. I shall always remember you, when I am traveling around from place to place, to kill the terrorist that make it difficult so for to get in here you, I shall avenge this for you, my lady!
I hope is good, this best to do for I of now for make up of wasted money of you. Goodbye! If wishing of you to stay in touch still, I will do during my travels, I always have time for email, but I have idea not where they send me. Maybe if I lucky, I end up in Kazan at some time! I will be to find you if I go there! Maybe you send phone number in Kazan for to reach if go there I?

Dan