Author |
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LeChuck
Hello I'm New here!
Joined: 01 Sep 2007
Posts: 9
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Posted:
Wed Sep 01, 2010 11:37 am |
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Quote: |
THEY WILL SEND WITH ME SOMEBODY WHO WILL ACCOMPANY ME TO YOU SO THAT I WILL NOT RUN AWAY |
I can imagine they won't be too pleased when they arrive at the destination .
This is just brilliant Nowhere Man! We have to know what happens next! |
_________________ X 14
"If you dont want to pay this money then you can stuck it up your ass,you are just a sick fellow" |
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Dutch
Baiting Guru
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 4204
Location: Dislocated
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Posted:
Wed Sep 01, 2010 12:32 pm |
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Fantastic baiting, and congrats on the safari! Those two are not happy campers. |
_________________ deadified fake websites) x 374
x11 x a couple
Yes we can! (with a bit of help) |
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Nowhere Man
419Eater is my life
Joined: 03 Jun 2010
Posts: 450
Location: never where I want to be
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Posted:
Wed Sep 01, 2010 1:18 pm |
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Thanks for all the support everybody.
I love the idea about plotting one against the other. I might not be able to, as I told them earlier that it was against church policy to use WU or MG to send money, and right now my character is out in the middle of nowhere.
I got a safari hat in my siggy! and a...goat? which, altho I don't know what it stands for, I am very proud that it's there.
The saga will unfold shortly when we return to...
Andy and the Traveling Computers! |
_________________ x2
Andrew & the Traveling Computers (Accra-Lagos-Benin City-England)
Lucas & The Holy Rollers (Owerri-Abeokuta)
Joseph & The Golden Cow (Lagos-Kano)
Douala Y'know Mike? Co-bait w/Bravo (Onicha to Yaounde)
The One Love Safari (Lagos to Kano)
Pastor Cl3tus/The Star Wars Safari (Accra to Bauchi) Co-bait w/Bravo, The Dane, Leonsumbitches
They have seized my luggage's my passport, my clothes, my shoes and everything i came with. Chima
i sat on a car for more than 15 hours, i staved, i could not eat good food or drink good water even when there is chorollar outbreak in Nigeria, still i accepted to go. Andrew
you want to know were i am this is where you will find me, Am in your mothers virgina. Andrew |
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JMRazor
Baiting Guru
Joined: 03 Mar 2006
Posts: 7103
Location: Yes
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Posted:
Wed Sep 01, 2010 1:20 pm |
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Great work! I love the idea of baggage, then wristwatch, then Chima being used as a deposit. |
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Nowhere Man
419Eater is my life
Joined: 03 Jun 2010
Posts: 450
Location: never where I want to be
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Posted:
Wed Sep 01, 2010 2:05 pm |
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The lads are starting day four on safari...
Reverend Phil Shucks now steps into the limelight as Barry has failed the lads completely--unable to provide them with directions and phone numbers, always having cell phone trouble. The lads are happy to be dealing with someone else.
Reverend calls Andy at 2 a.m. Nigeria time. I had to set up another google voice account, and disguise my voice so it sounded nothing like Barry. I ended up sounding like Kermit the Frog.
I tell Andy that I have sent him directions to a hotel in Abeokuta where we will meet. I definitely woke him up because he sounded groggy as hell.
I move the red marker down the hi-way a few miles at a time and pull it off the road in Shagamu.
Quote: |
Brother Andrew,
So nice to talk to you. I am sorry that I called so late, God forgive me if I woke you.
Here are the instructions once you get to Abeokuta:
The hotel is called The Ayo Inn
2, Aduke Ayorinde Avenue, Off Second Avenue, G.RA. Abeokuta
I will meet you in the lobby. We can get something to eat and talk about how we are to proceed with this business.
If you can, please do something for me: Please email me a list of your expenses so far so that I can add this amount onto the amount that you will be getting. I figure that $300, plus your expenses, should give you enough money to continue the project, God willing. Is this an acceptable amount for you?
As it says in the Bible--You, oh Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, He who holds my head high.
And also--A day of the Lord is near!
Please email me or call when you are on your way here.
Rev. Phil Shucks
p.s. Do you have a Bible? If not, I can bring you a nice leather bound, gold leafed copy for your family. |
Quote: |
Man Of God,
Thank you for your Godly intervention to our predicaments, i am set now on my way, to Abeokuta, i have also tracked the consignment is around Shagamu i pray that i will meet them as i travel so that all problems ends today. The hotel people provided me with money and hods
Please as i track the GPS truck it indicates that it's in in Shagamu now i wish somebody will get them until i come with my passport and other information for the claim. God should help us in this matter.
Regards,
Andrew. |
Money and hods? Anyone know what a hod is?
I send this reply back almost the next minute.
Quote: |
Brother Andrew,
We must have been checking email at the same time! I just received your message.
I will be out on church business most of the day, but will come to meet you as soon as you are near Abeokuta. Please call and let me know when you are getting close. I can not come any sooner than 2pm, as I have a childrens group trip until then.
Please, Andrew, there is a prayer that my congregation says before any long journey. It will bring you good luck, please recite it (we seem to need all the help we can get):
The Prayer of the Fellowship of the Ring of the Lord.
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy Name, Thy will be done, Thy kingdom come, on earth as it is in heaven. Indeed as it is on all middle earth, with all fair folk, lest the will of evil encompass us. The Eye, lidless, wreathed in flame, may it perish in the cracks of doom. I will follow you my brother, my captain, my king.
Thus spoke Aragorn, servant of the Lord
Amen.
Is Brother Chima staying behind, or is he coming with you today? I was hoping to meet him as well.
Reverend Shucks |
I sleep for a few hours, then my phone starts ringing away. I let it go to voice mail, wanting to sleep, but the lure of lad pain is to great so I get up again and check my mail.
There is a voice mail from Andy saying he has arrived at the hotel and is in the lobby and it is a very comfortable place.
I call him back to let him know that he is early, and I can't get there for a few hours at least.
Then all of the sudden Brother Chima, Andy's safari buddy, decides to email me.
Quote: |
Dear Rev. Phil Shucks,
Good morning and God bless you, Brother Andrew called me right now that he have arrive in abeokuta that he is waiting for you in the place you ask him to wait for you as soon he arrives in abeokuta and he has drop a massage and no body is responding to him, so please go help him before he become stranded.
He has called on your phone is not reachable please try and call him to know his location before is late.
Thanks,
Brother Chma |
I hate when I drop a massage! IP address checks to Lagos. Chima definitely stayed behind.
Quote: |
Dear Brother Chima,
I have just gotten off of the phone with Brother Andrew. He is much earlier than I expected him. I sent him an email this morning that I could not possibly get to the hotel before 2pm as I am with some school children in Ajebo, which is roughly 50 km from Abeokuta. I don't think he got that mail.
I will try to make haste and get over to the hotel, but it is going to take me a little while.
I have to go teach a Bible class, so I will not be able to be reached by telephone. If you talk with Brother Andrew, perhaps relay this message again. He has plenty of time to find an internet cafe and check his email if he would like to.
I hope you are well and safe. God bless you.
Rev. Shucks |
Our little red marker decides to meander up the express way, and passes very close to Ajebo, where the Reverend is at the moment, and pulls off the road about 10 km north.
Poor Andy has been sitting at the hotel waiting for me for about five hours, but I just keep getting delayed and delayed. I should go call him and let him know I'll be there "very soon"
Mwah hah hah! |
_________________ x2
Andrew & the Traveling Computers (Accra-Lagos-Benin City-England)
Lucas & The Holy Rollers (Owerri-Abeokuta)
Joseph & The Golden Cow (Lagos-Kano)
Douala Y'know Mike? Co-bait w/Bravo (Onicha to Yaounde)
The One Love Safari (Lagos to Kano)
Pastor Cl3tus/The Star Wars Safari (Accra to Bauchi) Co-bait w/Bravo, The Dane, Leonsumbitches
They have seized my luggage's my passport, my clothes, my shoes and everything i came with. Chima
i sat on a car for more than 15 hours, i staved, i could not eat good food or drink good water even when there is chorollar outbreak in Nigeria, still i accepted to go. Andrew
you want to know were i am this is where you will find me, Am in your mothers virgina. Andrew |
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Master of Puppets
Baiting Guru
Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Posts: 3294
Location: Pulling the Strings
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Posted:
Wed Sep 01, 2010 2:09 pm |
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Nowhere Man
419Eater is my life
Joined: 03 Jun 2010
Posts: 450
Location: never where I want to be
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Posted:
Wed Sep 01, 2010 3:03 pm |
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anyone have time to spoof a call to this guy posing as a customer service agent of the GPS company? |
_________________ x2
Andrew & the Traveling Computers (Accra-Lagos-Benin City-England)
Lucas & The Holy Rollers (Owerri-Abeokuta)
Joseph & The Golden Cow (Lagos-Kano)
Douala Y'know Mike? Co-bait w/Bravo (Onicha to Yaounde)
The One Love Safari (Lagos to Kano)
Pastor Cl3tus/The Star Wars Safari (Accra to Bauchi) Co-bait w/Bravo, The Dane, Leonsumbitches
They have seized my luggage's my passport, my clothes, my shoes and everything i came with. Chima
i sat on a car for more than 15 hours, i staved, i could not eat good food or drink good water even when there is chorollar outbreak in Nigeria, still i accepted to go. Andrew
you want to know were i am this is where you will find me, Am in your mothers virgina. Andrew |
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grimbleton
Not quite a Newb
Joined: 24 Aug 2010
Posts: 53
Location: dodging gridbugs
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Posted:
Wed Sep 01, 2010 4:09 pm |
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i have gone on my own safaris of hundreds of miles. not to collect money like the lads, but to museums to see the art of the masters. i have put myself through hell at times so that i would be able to spend a few minutes gazing on a masterpiece with my own eyes.
i am seeing another masterpiece unfolding here. your "social engineering" skills humble me.
jose_cuervo wrote: |
With lad anguish like that, I hope the thread quadruples in length! |
i agree wholeheartedly.
cheers
grimbleton |
_________________ "if i'm going to "go to hell" it might as well be for something that's fun or funny." -- grimbleton |
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grimbleton
Not quite a Newb
Joined: 24 Aug 2010
Posts: 53
Location: dodging gridbugs
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Posted:
Wed Sep 01, 2010 4:17 pm |
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Nowhere Man wrote: |
Money and hods? Anyone know what a hod is?
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–noun
1. a portable trough for carrying mortar, bricks, etc., fixed crosswise on top of a pole and carried on the shoulder.
cheers
grimbleton |
_________________ "if i'm going to "go to hell" it might as well be for something that's fun or funny." -- grimbleton |
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pablo
419Eater is my life
Joined: 10 Jul 2008
Posts: 366
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Posted:
Wed Sep 01, 2010 4:27 pm |
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Funny thing about GPS delivery, they might find the good reverend in the very last chapter.
This has everything including human collateral for a loan. At the rate this is going the lads could find themselves guests of the state.
p. |
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jose_cuervo
Baiting Guru
Joined: 01 Mar 2006
Posts: 8175
Location: Packing Vaseline in my frilly boots, I can’t help if it gets in other places.
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Posted:
Wed Sep 01, 2010 4:37 pm |
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It would be a real tragedy if the Reverend were called to Abuja for an emergency meeting with the church elders, poor Andy might suddenly find himself in a pickle. |
_________________ ~
“I guess a man is the only kind of varmint sets his own trap, baits it, and then steps in it.” ~ John Steinbeck |
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Cougar
Elite Baiter
Joined: 16 Apr 2009
Posts: 1293
Location: Curled up on the doctor's chair.
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Posted:
Wed Sep 01, 2010 4:53 pm |
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Wow! Fantastic work Nowhere Man, and very inspiring - well done! |
_________________ |
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Nowhere Man
419Eater is my life
Joined: 03 Jun 2010
Posts: 450
Location: never where I want to be
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Posted:
Wed Sep 01, 2010 5:20 pm |
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I keep getting increasingly desperate calls from Andy and Chima.
Andy has been waiting in the hotel lobby for 8 hours, and the staff is starting to ask him what he is doing. He is basically desperate. He says he borrowed money to get here and he doesn't know what to do.
He sounded on the verge of tears, honestly. I almost felt bad for him--but not really.
It looks like the Reverends car is having trouble and he is stranded on the side of the road about 50km from Andy.
I really need to get a call to them from someone else. If anyone can help, I would appreciate it. |
_________________ x2
Andrew & the Traveling Computers (Accra-Lagos-Benin City-England)
Lucas & The Holy Rollers (Owerri-Abeokuta)
Joseph & The Golden Cow (Lagos-Kano)
Douala Y'know Mike? Co-bait w/Bravo (Onicha to Yaounde)
The One Love Safari (Lagos to Kano)
Pastor Cl3tus/The Star Wars Safari (Accra to Bauchi) Co-bait w/Bravo, The Dane, Leonsumbitches
They have seized my luggage's my passport, my clothes, my shoes and everything i came with. Chima
i sat on a car for more than 15 hours, i staved, i could not eat good food or drink good water even when there is chorollar outbreak in Nigeria, still i accepted to go. Andrew
you want to know were i am this is where you will find me, Am in your mothers virgina. Andrew |
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Dutch
Baiting Guru
Joined: 22 Nov 2007
Posts: 4204
Location: Dislocated
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Posted:
Wed Sep 01, 2010 6:19 pm |
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Andy is warm, cosy and sheltered in that lobby, and needs to stop whining. I'm much more worried about the stredded reverend, and so should he. |
_________________ deadified fake websites) x 374
x11 x a couple
Yes we can! (with a bit of help) |
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jose_cuervo
Baiting Guru
Joined: 01 Mar 2006
Posts: 8175
Location: Packing Vaseline in my frilly boots, I can’t help if it gets in other places.
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Posted:
Wed Sep 01, 2010 6:27 pm |
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I just called Andy as "John" from GP5 3-Track customer disservice. He sounded like he was about to cry the entire call.
I told him that Rev. Phil asked that I call him, because his car had broken down and he was losing his cell phone signal.
Andy really wanted the driver's number so he could contact him directly, but he was talking so fast that I could barely understand him. I had to slow him down so I made him give me the tracking number, twice to ensure that I had written it down correctly and then I slowly and carefully repeated the number to him for verification. After banging away on my keyboard for a few moments while he waited, I then confirmed everything that he already knew.
1 - The package is near Ogunmaken, off the A-1 highway.
2 - It is scheduled to arrive at Ibadan airport shortly and will wait there until morning at the Overland Airways Freight Storage Facility.
3- It is scheduled to leave Ibadan with routing for Abuja at 9 a.m.
I told him that the driver was parked along A-1 and was probably eating a nice meal, but that I would try to contact the driver and get him to call Andy, since it is against company policy to give out our driver's cell phone numbers. I doubt that the driver will be getting a good enough signal to talk to Andy, though.
I ran out of Skype Credits mid call, but I'll recharge them so I can call Andy back after he goes to sleep. |
_________________ ~
“I guess a man is the only kind of varmint sets his own trap, baits it, and then steps in it.” ~ John Steinbeck |
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Nowhere Man
419Eater is my life
Joined: 03 Jun 2010
Posts: 450
Location: never where I want to be
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Posted:
Wed Sep 01, 2010 6:41 pm |
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THANKS!
That sounds great! I love it!
Looks like he'll be spending the night in the hotel lobby? doorway? parking lot?
You are a lifesaver Cuervo!
I'll go check in with our old friend Chima and see what he is up to. |
_________________ x2
Andrew & the Traveling Computers (Accra-Lagos-Benin City-England)
Lucas & The Holy Rollers (Owerri-Abeokuta)
Joseph & The Golden Cow (Lagos-Kano)
Douala Y'know Mike? Co-bait w/Bravo (Onicha to Yaounde)
The One Love Safari (Lagos to Kano)
Pastor Cl3tus/The Star Wars Safari (Accra to Bauchi) Co-bait w/Bravo, The Dane, Leonsumbitches
They have seized my luggage's my passport, my clothes, my shoes and everything i came with. Chima
i sat on a car for more than 15 hours, i staved, i could not eat good food or drink good water even when there is chorollar outbreak in Nigeria, still i accepted to go. Andrew
you want to know were i am this is where you will find me, Am in your mothers virgina. Andrew |
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jose_cuervo
Baiting Guru
Joined: 01 Mar 2006
Posts: 8175
Location: Packing Vaseline in my frilly boots, I can’t help if it gets in other places.
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Posted:
Wed Sep 01, 2010 6:45 pm |
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I just bought some more skype credits, so I'll ping Andy about 1/2 dozen times and hang up on him. When I call tonight as "John" I'll ask him if the driver was able to contact him.
I'll also ask if he would be willing to take a short customer satisfaction survey. |
_________________ ~
“I guess a man is the only kind of varmint sets his own trap, baits it, and then steps in it.” ~ John Steinbeck |
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grimbleton
Not quite a Newb
Joined: 24 Aug 2010
Posts: 53
Location: dodging gridbugs
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Posted:
Wed Sep 01, 2010 7:35 pm |
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Nowhere Man wrote: |
Looks like he'll be spending the night in the hotel lobby? doorway? parking lot? |
and you forgot the next funny potential... possibly with a cellphone that has a dead battery. fat lot of good it'll do him then, eh?
cheers
grimbleton |
_________________ "if i'm going to "go to hell" it might as well be for something that's fun or funny." -- grimbleton |
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theblob
419Eater is my life
Joined: 31 May 2010
Posts: 255
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Posted:
Wed Sep 01, 2010 8:31 pm |
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I just hope we'll know how this ends before he runs out of resources to contact you... |
_________________ OINK OINK ! > x16 |
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jose_cuervo
Baiting Guru
Joined: 01 Mar 2006
Posts: 8175
Location: Packing Vaseline in my frilly boots, I can’t help if it gets in other places.
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Posted:
Wed Sep 01, 2010 11:40 pm |
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I love sleepy lads. Andy was such a good sport this evening he answered a GP5 E-Track Customer Satisfaction Survey at midnight his time and burned 12 minutes of his phone credits.
ANDY_SURVEY.mp3
I was having a hard time keeping it together during the call and fully expected a rant. Andy was also having a hard time keeping it together toward the end, but at least he feels like someone is trying to help his situation now.
Nowhere Man, I'll call Andy as often as you need now. GP5 3-Tr4ck is all about the customer service.
Move the package to Ibadan tonight if you get a chance, I told him it was already there. |
_________________ ~
“I guess a man is the only kind of varmint sets his own trap, baits it, and then steps in it.” ~ John Steinbeck |
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TheFae
Baiting Guru
Joined: 15 Jun 2009
Posts: 14295
Location: Playing Space in the Street - DECENT!
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Posted:
Thu Sep 02, 2010 12:56 am |
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Nowhere Man, this is brilliant work. Stredding lads in hash conditions! Congratulations on your pith -- well earned!
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_________________ x 4 x 5 x 6
x 3,000+
GO GOLD! **CLICKY**
"This is really bad"
"my account has been disable and can not sell anymore and this is all i live on" |
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dwatina
Baiting Guru
Joined: 13 Feb 2010
Posts: 7164
Location: Home of the Orangemen! Friends call me Doc
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Posted:
Thu Sep 02, 2010 1:01 am |
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@Jose: I loved that call you did |
_________________ Support bacteria. It's the only culture some people have. (my quote--not a lad's)
*****
x97 [I lost count years ago and don't keep track anymore]
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<a href="/forum/donate.php">[Click here to donate to 419Eater.com]</a>
x3 : Femmy Bait w/Team Femmy |
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Corona
Baiting Guru
Joined: 21 Sep 2006
Posts: 8809
Location: On ya left!
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Posted:
Thu Sep 02, 2010 2:08 am |
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Nowhere Man
419Eater is my life
Joined: 03 Jun 2010
Posts: 450
Location: never where I want to be
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Posted:
Thu Sep 02, 2010 2:10 am |
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OMG! Cuervo, that call was brilliant! I loved it!
Poor Andy sounds exhausted! What a long four days it has been for him! I hope we have one or two more good ones.
I need to get on that site and upload the phone calls I have has with Andy and Chima. There are probably 15 or so of them. I'll get busy with that tonight.
I moved the package up the A-1 Hi-way, and it is sitting at the airport now.
Thank you so much Cuervo! |
_________________ x2
Andrew & the Traveling Computers (Accra-Lagos-Benin City-England)
Lucas & The Holy Rollers (Owerri-Abeokuta)
Joseph & The Golden Cow (Lagos-Kano)
Douala Y'know Mike? Co-bait w/Bravo (Onicha to Yaounde)
The One Love Safari (Lagos to Kano)
Pastor Cl3tus/The Star Wars Safari (Accra to Bauchi) Co-bait w/Bravo, The Dane, Leonsumbitches
They have seized my luggage's my passport, my clothes, my shoes and everything i came with. Chima
i sat on a car for more than 15 hours, i staved, i could not eat good food or drink good water even when there is chorollar outbreak in Nigeria, still i accepted to go. Andrew
you want to know were i am this is where you will find me, Am in your mothers virgina. Andrew |
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lakeside77
A chaff in the USA
Joined: 11 Jul 2008
Posts: 2700
Location: Out there in the cold, getting lonely, getting old
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Posted:
Thu Sep 02, 2010 3:15 am |
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This is a classic.
Quote: |
Now no food, no water, no place to stay, we are just wandering the streets and our luggages has been seized by the hotel people |
And this was just the beginning of his misery!
May his ordeal continue. |
_________________ ls77
x26 x3 x2
Father Frank
I must let you know that am sick and tired of all this whole bull sheet do you know my ass is on the line - Jonh Raymund
i want to say i am very sorry for the Mother that gave Barth to you -- Jim Ovie
. . . it is disrespectful,malicious, an ILEDAN EYE,to our corporation and embarrassing to my secretary as he was messed up by your action. I thought I was assisting a true American gentleman without knowing that I am trying to help one of the most chaffs in the USA. --Dr. Leo Stan Ekeh
. . . I hate you with all my Live, you may not understand the Laval of hatred I have in you -- Dr. Lambert |
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