Rev. Dr. Doolittle MD

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Posted: Mon Aug 30, 2010 1:13 pm

OK own up? who did this wonderful piece of "education"? you owe me yet another new keyboard!!

Quote:

Greetings Friend of the Animals

Please forgive this intrusion into your most esteemed email box. I am Rev.
Doctor E Doolittle MD, pastor and veterinary surgeon and I am charged with
running the Zoophiles of Mercy animal refuge here in Nigeria.

Here at the Zoophiles of Mercy we take in orphaned animals found by members of
the public as well as those that have been abandoned by zoological parks,
travelling circuses, gypsies and illegal immigrants to our country as well as
those which are found by the authorities and confiscated from people trying to
smuggle these animals out of the country. We are charged before God who made
all living things to alleviate the suffering of those weaker than ourselves and
this is what all of us here at the Zoophiles of Mercy try to do. Also we have
outreach programs among the wider community to encourage people to respect
animals, get to know them and interact with them in an intimate and loving
way.

Regrettably in recent months there has been a great upsurge of people trying to
smuggle out exotic animals including leopard, lion, zebra, various antelope and
on one memorable occasion a group of criminals tried to smuggle a live elephant
by placing it in a shipping container with only a hole for it to place its
trunk out of to breathe. We weep at such cruelty but we must do our best for
these unfortunate animals which are victims of man's greed and disrespect for
the world God has created. Additionally a local scheme to breed very small
animals for the European and American pet market has closed down due to the
economic recession gripping the world and we have had to take over their
breeding stock or these charming little creatures would have been shot and used
for food.

Needless to say such an influx of animals has stretched our resources to
breaking point and so I am taking this extraordinary and drastic step of using
the medium of the interweb to reach out to you for your assistance.

Please would you like to sponsor one of our animals? We have a number of
options available from a simple one-off payment to longer term sponsorship and
many animals from large to small to sponsor. For just a few hundred pounds a
year you can save the life of one of our animals, name it and you will receive
regular reports on your chosen animal and photographs.

Also we have the opportunity for you to acquire some of our tamer animals for
yourself and for free! We will take care of all the paperwork and government
clearances for you and arrange for shipping, we ask only for a modest fee to
cover our expenses and transportation costs.

Please if this letter has touched your heart do get back to me on
****[email protected]**** or call me on ****+2347060522598**** as soon as
you can.

I have attached some photographs of our animals so you can see the good work
that we do.

With Greetings

Rev. Dr. Doolittle MD.
Veterinary Sturgeon
Zoophiles of Mercy Animal Refuge
Private Phone Number:+xxxxxxxxxx
""""""" Email Address: [email protected]

Posted: Mon Aug 30, 2010 1:28 pm

Guilty as charged Embarassed

Ask him if he has any Patagonian Fighting Llamas.

Posted: Mon Aug 30, 2010 1:32 pm

oh I think I'm more interested in a pushmepullyou Laughing

I assume you 'helped' with the photos as well, what a nice person you are

the elephant's trunk bit was pure genius my friend Mr. Green

419Eater is my life Joined: 08 Apr 2009 Posts: 375

If I may ask, how does one go about getting a lad to use a submitted script? Do you pretend to join forces with them?

Posted: Tue Aug 31, 2010 6:10 am

^^^ Exactly that. In this case I was baiting the lad as an old war veteran and after a number of "failed" attempts to pay the necessary fees to secure my millions brought in a new character, the home help from Social Services who took the money down to Western Onion - promptly pocketed it and emailed the lad to tell him he'd been chopped but offering a carrot that he would work with him get fresh victims and also telling him that everyone knew about inheritance 419 scams these days and that he had a format that was new and, as a westerner, knew other westerners would go for.

It doesn't always work, especially on lads who have been heavily baited or are lazier than normal but sometimes it does and you can really ratchet up the lad pain Smile

Posted: Tue Aug 31, 2010 8:52 am

LMAO, got this reply:

Quote:

Thank you A. Gimbatûl for your mail response. I am very happy to receive your mail, Our refuge is a small one, but we are doing our best to make sure that we can come out with a large, we are planing to buy a very large land scale where we can build big camp for the animal.

As now, we have some tamer animals for you such as lion, zebra,leopard,Tiger,and elephant E.t.c.

Just tell me the one you need then we can start processing the government clearances for you and arrange for shipping of your order.

I will love hear back from you.

Rev. Dr. Doolittle MD.
Veterinary Sturgeon

Holy crap!! I don't even wanna hear about their dangerous animals!

Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2010 1:55 pm

He wants to be a member of the Royal London Zoophiliac Society! I made this form and mailed it to him:
http://members.419eater.com/~thedane/RLZS_App.pdf

Posted: Thu Sep 02, 2010 12:34 pm

^^^ Ah... you must be Ashnagh Grimbatulk then!

Can you believe the cheek of the lad, he asked ME as his oga to fill in the form for him!

Quote:

Brother the Society went fund the Animal Refuge, so they siad that i must become there member, and our animal park must associety with theirs, so please help fill the form and send it back to me, so that i can be able to forward it to him then he will go on and pay in the money.

I have given him some tips though and confirmed the existence and reality of the RLZS and how they really do give out MASSIVE grants to affiliated members so fingers crossed he'll provide you with a trophy.

Posted: Thu Sep 02, 2010 12:37 pm

I am indeed Ashnakh Gimbatûl (I love crackass names). Wink

And I can't believe the nerve of the guy, asking you to fill it for him. I sincerely hope you gave him a good slap for that! Very Happy

And thanks for the backing. It's much appreciated. Wink

Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 11:05 am

Oh, the lazyness if this lad!

Quote:

Hello Gimbatul

I am very sorry for not responding to your email early, I am having problem printing out that form, my print is very bad, so that why it is very difficult for me.

So please I ask for a favor, I want to write out the answer to the question in the form, if that will be granted for me, I will be very happy for you. You can help me with that, secondly where our park is location is a very local area, so that is why I am having some problem with this.
I will be glad if you help with this.
Thank you
Rev. Dr. Doolittle MD.
Veterinary Sturgeon
Zoophiles of Mercy Animal Refuge
Private Phone Number: +2347060522598

Is he just incredible or what? Smile

Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 11:52 am

Quote:

Veterinary Sturgeon

Who knew fish had such skills! Razz

Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 12:12 pm

@TheDane... I actually think he's not lying when he tells me that he's really hard up; he's writing to me as his "oga" and he is coming over as really desperate for a break, any kind of break.

He probably can't afford the printing and scanning fees the cafe will charge him. Laughing

With any luck when he finally works out he's been royally had and there's not going to be any money from anyone he might just turn honest and get a job!

Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 1:01 pm

@sunshine: I'm sure that he can borrow the money from his uncle or whatever. I mean, there's quite a pot of gold waiting at the end of the rainbow. Having no cash is hardly an excuse when you get the chance to be accepted into the RLZS. Wink