A shame I can't share this...

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Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 10:18 am

Last Friday this dropped into Captain Mal's inbox (emphasis added; my comments in red).

Quote:

greeting to you honorable God send foreign beneficiary
My Name is T3MI3N0R P0LLY N4D3RS0N
first thank you for your Good update reply (which I hadn't made yet) and that remand me that God has don every thing for me with the position of your personality (whatever that means)
according to what i ask from god that is what am seeing now from you because am be praying to God every day and night to use somebody that have a feeling to help help a refuge lick me out from the problem
thank god you are there for me to help calmed (huh?) the 2Boxes that contain $12 Millions United State Dollars clean and spendable out from the chief custom officer custody
i don't no that God is going to make a way well there see to be no way
please i know you have unready no the position my feeling problem that i have in the Kotoka international airport right in Accra Ghana in African and the only solution now is immediately release of the 2Boxes across to me to noble me have asses to the Boxes so that after the release you can give me advice together with good solution of are to send the money without any problem
This is the resign why my 2Boxes was be arrested and also seize by the chief custom officer custody in because of airport Tax clearance charges fees together with the needed Document which I left in my country Sudan on my way taking my 2Boxes of Money to the united nation peace keeping Jet that was well I forget all the needed documentation please I rein need you positive help and I now this is a God way
also thank God that nobody among all the chief custom officer no that is money inside my 2Boxes
please the only thing now is for you to help me with the $500 Dollar for then release my 2boxes for me with immediately payment calmed because of airport clearance charges fees so that i can make the payment to the $500 Dollar for the immediately calmed because of airport clearance charges fees for him to release me 2Boxes for me
release Let me have you phone number too to call you in regard of this calmed of this 2Boxes
thank best regard
please if any Good news kindly take the receiver Name T3MI3N0R P0LLY to send the $500 Usd to Money-gram to calmed the 2Boxes out from the chief custom officer custody so that after the calmed you can advice over transfer of this money to your account
thank
T3MI3N0R P0LLY 4ND3RS0N
I am be waiting to hear from you as sum as possible

OK, then - Mal replies promptly:

Quote:

Ms N4d4rs0n,
Sorry, what? Who gave you my details?

What comes back is shorter, but just as confusing:

Quote:

as for your quation you ask me of are I gut your contacte please I got your Email Detais in the Kotoka international airport right in Accra Ghana in African . in the foreign beneficiary notice bod list your name was listed as I was looking all the Email Detais in the notice bod my mind ask me to get a contate with this God sent foreign beneficiary Email contacte Address that was well I fand your contate please don’t be onfeded for contacting you as a God send foreign beneficiary to me and I use belive that you are not going to betrary me at the head
Please kindly informed in the name of juses to contact with the chelf custom officer regarding the clamed of my funds/2Boxes of consignment that is chelf custom officer please help wreti to the chelf custom officer that you are contacte him in regard of your son a Refugee Boy Name Mr. T3mi3n0r P0lly 4nd3ers0n. That am be contacted you from Ghana .that I requested you to contact chelf custom officer to make further arrangement of the clamed release of my 2Boxes of consignment with $500 Dollar to your country home
Name of the chelf custom officer Mr. 3MM4NU3L M3NS4H Adress . Email [ - snipped - ]
I would like to hear from you regarding a solution to the clamed of the Boxes

I missed the reference to "your son a Refugee Boy":

Quote:

Ms N4d3rs0n,
I've never been to Ghana and I don't know how my name would show up there. The closest I've been to Ghana (or Sudan) is Somalia, and that was 17 years ago. This has all got me a bit confused.

More of the same:

Quote:

Please I am begging you in the name of our God that this is the hours of God divining intervention wherever you are I told you that my Distance with you is not A Barrier (I associate this phrase with Ladettes mainly)
I must informed you the rightful palace I sue your contact Email Address and if you see not yet believe what am telling you regarding my 2Boxes Fund of Consignment contain $12 Millions United State Dollars clean and spendable out from the chief custom officer custody
But try your possible best you can to get a Good contact with the shelf custom officer regarding the claimed of my funds/2Boxes of consignment that is shelf custom officer please help write to the shelf custom officer that you are contacted him in regard of your son a Refugee Boy Name Mr. T3mi3n0r P0lly 4nd3ers0n. That am be contacted you from Ghana .that I requested you to contact shelf custom officer to make further arrangement of the clammed release of my 2Boxes of consignment with $500 Dollar to your country home

I'm worried about getting him off script as I'm afraid that my brain will just melt down...

Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 10:45 am

^^^

Sounds like a moron to me. But is that really a surprise? Try to get him to come see you somewhere!

Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 1:20 pm

Quote:

as for your quation you ask me of are I gut your contacte please I got your Email Detais in the Kotoka international airport right in Accra Ghana in African . in the foreign beneficiary notice bod list your name was listed as I was looking all the Email Detais in the notice bod

Ah the 'foreign beneficiary notice bod' does get about, it was following me all day yesterday, I had to shoo it several times.

419Eater is my life Joined: 22 Sep 2008 Posts: 381

Man, this lad bought his script off the discount rack.

Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 6:44 pm

Yastreb wrote:

God has don every thing for me with the position of your personality (whatever that means)

There is the almost forgotten word "personalty" meaning personal estate or property. I think the lad may have been trying to enlarge his vocabulary with a thesaurus, and misspelled it.

Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 11:58 pm

Well, not much use trying to de-educate this one. He's doing that quite successfully on his own.

However it is probably worth asking him if he has the corrected mothet spline acronymiser for the securing codeafile yet cos if he doesn't then wait on the due week.

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