Horse (and other animal ) selling lad

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Posted: Sat Jul 10, 2010 12:02 am

After Bernis assured me that the G@rgatuan Yorkie was free of T1ibble Infection of the Tail (T.I.T.), and didn't need it's tail cut off, I didn't email him back right that second, so he sent me this...

Quote:

Hello Mike,

I am still waiting on you,Or are you not ready to give your wife the best she likes.

Waiting to hear from you soon

Regards

And this...

Quote:

Hello mike,
Have you done the payment already.

Hope to hear from you soon

Regards

I know that he's already very busy on S.S. so I'm trying to decide if I should send him to the Vault or what?
Meanwhile he asked me to resend the message from Sally...

Quote:

Hi Mr. Skull,
May I call you Berni?
My names are Sally Hithead and my neighbours' daughter-in-law is a cousin of an old friend who's the brother of a fellow that works with my aunties best customer at her pumpkins and blumpkins farm and delicatessen. His name is Samuel but she calls him Sam or Sammy or sometimes she teases him and calls him Sammy Davis Junior or the Samminater or Sammwitch!!! My auntie is a real big jokester! Her name is Sally too! I was named after her, but enough about me...
Sam mentioned that you are a big deal animal exporter? I run a small, intimate, pre-school daycare and petting zoo. We just lost one of our animals. It's been two weeks since Sphincter went missing. The children are terribly upset. I'm sure that you understand, seen as you work with animals and all. I have pretty much given up hope that we will ever see Sphincter again, so I'm looking to replace her. Would you be able to shit me a female 3 year old Polar bear? I have a budget of roughly $50,000 (Fifty thousand United States Dollars) which would of course include shitting. Also, I would expect you to use the first-class facilities of whatever overnight shitting company that you normally use, for the evacuation.
Please get back to me as soon as possible. The children have been told that Sphincter is away for a holiday, visiting relatives but they know that that's not true. I need to get a new bear here real quick. Can we do business?

He replied...

Quote:

Hello Sally,

I dont have that so the only thing i can say is that,i will look for somebody that can provide me with one OK.If i see that,i will get to you.
I have some people all over Africa that i deal with.When i dont have some demands,i get it from them and carry out the cheks myself before shipping.
If that is OK by you get to me as soon as possible so i can start with my findings.

Hope to hear from you soon

Regards

Yes, please start with your "findings"...

Quote:

Hi Berni,
Yes, please do make some inquiries. As I mentioned I have a $50,000.00 USD budget. Does that sound reasonable to you?
Sally

Hurray!!! Bernis comes through!

Quote:

Hello Sally,

I have carried out my research and i have found out that there is somebody in the North that has two Polar bear and he is given it out for $42,000 each.so if you are interested,then we have to start making plans because i was told that some people from the US are also planning to come for them.

We have to do things fast to catch up with time remember this animal is rare.so if we don't use the opportunity we have now we might not fine one again.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Regards

I wonder if they're a breeding pair and if I can get a buy one, get the other half price deal?

Posted: Sat Jul 10, 2010 12:15 am

I probably won't do SS or the Vault, either, Fartina. I'm sure our lad is very tired of it by now.

I've got a few ideas I'm mulling over.

@nz_nick: Welcome aboard! Have fun Smile

Posted: Sat Jul 10, 2010 10:16 am

ParaNoid wrote:

@sunshine, is this the same animal lad as before ??? Shocked

He was kind of fun. Very Happy

If you mean the "Zoophiles of Mercy" lad no, this one's different.

I do miss him though Smile

Posted: Sat Jul 10, 2010 2:02 pm

Seems my offer to buy Bernie's airplane ticket has been declined. He says since it's an internal flight, I need to send him the money for the ticket. So I told him to make the reservations and send a copy of his itinerary. We'll see what happens.

Posted: Sat Jul 10, 2010 6:12 pm

I sent this last night...

Quote:

Hi Berni!
Thank-you for your quick work. Are the two polar bears a breeding pair? If so I am interested in them both. Do you think there's a chance that you could get both of them for $63,000.00, including shitting?
Sally

He's working on Saturday!

Quote:

Hello Sally,

Thanks for your reply.I have talk to the man in the North concerning that,he can give the both at $70,000.Ithink that is a very good price.

If you are interested do let me know so i can start making arrangement immediately to go there and get details.

Hope to hear from you soon

Regards

Just sent...

Quote:

Hi Berni!
Thanks for getting back to me so quickly.
You didn't mention whether the Polar bears are a breeding pair or not. I also need to know their ages, height, weight and cereal numbers.
I will have to see if I can come up with the extra money. My original budget was $50,000.00 and I an able to borrow another $13,000.00 to pay $63,000.00 for the pair but I'm not certain that I can come up with another $7,000.00. Please see if the supplier is willing to go down in price.
Sally

Posted: Sat Jul 10, 2010 6:50 pm

^^^Glad to see he's working Saturdays. I haven't heard from him today. He's probably trying to figure out someway to send me fake airport info or something.

I'll give a little reminder later.

Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2010 6:04 am

What did I do wrong? It started out so promising, then he just never got back to me. I feel so rejected. Luckily I got 23 scammers in the last 3 days just signing one guest book. But still, I wanted to play.

Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2010 6:06 am

At least you got a reply, he never got back to me Sad

Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2010 6:19 am

Yeah, he was all set and eager, then everyone jumped on him and he dropped me. I think I came across as too professional or running too big of a business and he figured it would be a tougher scam. Who knows, I'm a newby and I don't have the magic yet!

Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2010 7:43 am

Haha I did ask before I got involved.

I also went the professional route saying I needed a tiger for a zoo I work at. Ahh well, you learn these things.

Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2010 8:09 am

I think Bernie is just swamped at the moment and thinks all his birthdays and christmases have come at once.

Maybe just gently send him a "what's happening with my yorkie / pony / unicorn / yellow reaper dragon" reminder email if he's gone quiet on you.

Posted: Mon Jul 12, 2010 2:55 am

I offered buko bucks for 3 pair of Fenr1ck foxes, he probably doesn't even know what a fennic fox is. I'll wait my time until the rush dies down. I think I'm recovering from a minor plane crash that killed my laptop with his address in it. Then I will nurse him back to la la land after the rush is over.

Posted: Tue Jul 13, 2010 8:44 pm

Lad's gone quiet on me. I'm assuming I've asked for too much, which was a chance I was willing to take:

Anna wrote:

That all sounds fine, but now comes the difficult part. A lot of horse breeders just tell me to go away when I ask for this, but this is a critical part of what we are looking for. If you don't want to comply, I will understand and I'll look for the horses elsewhere. If you're willing to do what it takes to complete the sale, then I can pay some extra money for you extra effort during the sale process.

What I need to do now is confirm the suitability of the stallion's penis. As you can imagine, since we're making movies of women having sex with horses, it's critical that the penis has a good shape and length to it and that it doesn't have any deformities. To make sure we're getting the right animals, I'm going to need some pictures. These pictures need to be taken in such a way that we know the pictures are real, since we've been scammed by other horse traders.

For each horse, what we need is the following:

1. A picture of the horse's head from the front, with someone holding a sign with my name on it (Anna Recksick)
2. A profile (side) picture of the horse, with the same person holding the sign
3. A picture of the horse's erect penis with a tape measure next to the penis and the sign taped to the tape measure or somehow included in the photo

If you can meet these conditions and send me these photos, then we will pay you double your asking price for the horses. We are currently looking for a minimum of 1 horse, but we will buy 3 if you have them available.

As I said, if you choose not to fulfill this requirement, then we completely understand and we will look for other breeders who can comply. Regardless, it was a pleasure getting to know you.

Oh well.

Posted: Tue Jul 13, 2010 10:32 pm

Gee, that doesn't sound too unreasonable to me. He's a breeder, right? Someone has to be a spotter (so to speak) for the stallion.

He must think the world has a shortage of equines all of a sudden. My character had a slight plane crash, as they do, and one of her animal handlers, Kayley, wrote him to ask for two pair of African Wild Asses. They do exist and are very interesting, I'd love to have one. I even sent him a photo to make sure we got the pearly gray ones, not the fawn colored ones. The only difficulty he might encounter is they are on the endangered species list. Wouldn't it be nice if he was silly enough to go after one and got caught poaching? Besides, attractive as they are, they look like those huge teeth and small but sharp hooves might just take a few chunks and land a few blows. Not that he'll ever get near one. But a mule with pinstripes, I expect my first very own photo trophy if he falls for it.

Posted: Tue Jul 13, 2010 11:07 pm

I haven't heard diddly at all from him and I've sent several emails the past few days.

I'll survive somehow {sniffle}

Posted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 12:02 am

I know!!! Don't you just hate it when you have your script written and they won't come out to play?

Posted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 12:35 am

Doc and all,
This is the one that I haven't heard from since Saturday! Laughing

Posted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 3:09 am

I contacted him a week ago with a request for the purchase of African honey bees to help pollenate the fields and orchards of Britain due to the shortage of bees here this year. I specifically asked him for the availability of the Owto Bee, the Wanna Bee and the Cherry Bee (which are all common in Africa -? )
I have not had a reply but have just sent a follow up enquiry so hopefully I might still get a bite.

Posted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 8:56 am

@Napoleon No he thinks westerners asking for pictures of stallion penises is quite normal. I asked and got some rather blurry ones of our lad trying to coax a stallion into showing his wares Smile

I think maybe his silence is down to the fact he's gone out to take some more and this time got a hoof to the head Laughing

Well we can only hope.

Posted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 11:36 am

Maybe he went after those Wild Asses I asked for.

Posted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 2:18 pm

@sunshine.....I hope you're right. I've sent him a couple of emails asking what's going on, but no reply yet.....like you said, if we're lucky, he's in the hospital

Posted: Sun Jul 18, 2010 1:36 am

I finally have a fresh reply but It's not good news.
This was to "Sally" who needs a replacement Polar bear for her preschool aged daycare and petting zoo.

On Sat, Jul 17, 2010 at 11:48 AM, Bernis Kull <bernis [email protected]> wrote:

Quote:

Hello get back to you with what.

I am not ready to sell to you any problem with that.get your stuff from another place.

bye

Looking for an explanation...

Quote:

Dear Berni,
I don't understand your reply. I have never been spoken to as rudely and unprofessionally as your message. I thought that you were a big time animal exporter and a serious businessman. What is going on?
Sally

Mike, who is thrilled that Beris has a G@rgantuan Yorkie for sale, had sent this on July 13

Quote:

Hi Bernis,
I am waiting for you to send me the payment information. Why is it taking so long?
Mike

Today's reply...

Quote:

Hello maike,

Sorry for the delay.i was at the field.you will pay the money through the Money Gram.

My names are............ Wilson Johnson
Location .................... Buea

when that is done,send me the 8 reference number .
Hope to hear from you tomorrow.

Regards

I know that he's already been through the ringer at SS so will need to think carefully about my next move. Anyone else hear from him today?

Posted: Sun Jul 18, 2010 2:50 am

Since he never got back to me after my first promising round of exchanges, I had been firing off a few letters just to keep in touch. I figured he wasn't playing anyway so I had "Kayley" who is semi-literate, write him asking for the wild asses, and even enclosed a picture. I'm hurt by his response, since I only asked him for one imaginary animal, and that could have been a typo. I got this.

Quote:

Hello Greystroke,
You are not a serious business man.i do enjoy the fun time,let go on.

Regards

Nice he enjoys the fun, and wants to go on! I climbed on my high ass and replied.

Quote:

END OF CONTACT
From: LJ Greystr0ke
Sent: Sat 7/17/10 7:36 PM
To: [email protected]
Dear Mr. Kull,

I do apologize for Kayley standing in for me and giving you that impression. My vision is cleared up now and I'm back to work. I did not realize that Kayley was quite so uneducated, as I could not see her message for myself. I am sorry if I inconvenienced you, I was hoping for a long and successful relationship. However, I see by my return mail that you were never very interested in working with us, so this is for the best really. I have had quite enough upsets lately and only want to work with professionals who know what they are doing. Nor will you be bothered by any recommendations by me or the Animal Super Starz company.

By the way, for your information, I am a very serious business woman, which you would know if you ever read your emails.

L.J. Greystr0ke
Lead Procurer.
Animal Super Strz

Now if I could just some how leak the infromation to him that another lad is making out King Midas off me, I would be much happier. At least he's so nervous he's probably turning down real victims too.

Posted: Sun Jul 18, 2010 3:16 am

He finally got back to me, but not what I expected:

Quote:

Fine by me.
I gave you my prices but you did not reply till date.

I'll have to get back to him on those photo requirements.

Posted: Sun Jul 18, 2010 5:20 am

Snottty little twit, isn't he? I think I'll have another go at him.

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