May I ask a favor please?

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Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 12:24 am

Update: For reasons not known to anyone, this guy writes back to the Ditz.

I play it straight, and manage to discover this guy understands IP Switching (Something I studied in IT class) and over a period of time managed to discover he wasn't in Irvine Scotland, all of which was sent back to strawberry shortcake, and the guys at scamwarners found a little yahoo code that tells them they thinks he a scammer too.

I will post the bait in a moment, right now I have class notes to take Wink

Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 12:43 am

So here's what's been happening in the last week:

I start by sending him this:

Dear Lucas,

I must say that I was surprised but pleasantly so by your wonderful email. I'm sorry to hear about your problems in the past but I am certain a handsome man such as yourself would have no trouble attracting the right woman for you. Hopefully that woman can be me.

I am 43 years old, German Born Woman though living on a farm in Yalbraith in New South Wales Australia, and I am separated from my husband Nick, who I am currently in the middle of Divorcing. I have attached a picture of myself and my soon to be ex husband in happier times, It is my favourite short of myself, I hope you like it.

To which he responds:
Hello Kathrin,and thank you for writing me on here and will like to tell you that I am really astound that you could write me back and I will like to ask what do you seek from the site adelaidepersonals and how long have you been on the site..if you dont mind can you join me on yahoo instant messenger sometimes soon so we can get to know eahc other better..

Luke.

I write this back, hopefully generic enough to hide the fact that I have never had an account on adelaide personals.com:

My dear Lucas,

I must confess that while I am looking for a relationship, I am in fact looking to begin again so to speak. Nick left me on this farm for a 19 year old and I realised as I sat here all alone with no idea of how to do anything at all that I need to start from scratch so to speak. I need to re-invent myself and find out what is happening in the world around me.

The reason I am astounded to hear from you was that I received no responses from any of the dating sites I was on and so I deleted all the profiles my niece help me set up in frustration weeks ago.

Nick spent a lot of time on the internet before leaving me for a 19 year old, so I bought a laptop to find out what the fuss was about. But I must confess that I am hardly computer literate and have relied heavily on my niece Sabrina to set this up and while I happy to try this messenger thing you ask about I have no idea what it actually is. Do you have a facebook account? I have to admit, facebook has become my guilty pleasure of late. We can meet on there in the short term if you like.

He indeed invites me to become his friend on facebook, but neglects to give me the addy. So while he's smart enough to understand IP Switching, he's too stupid to copy and paste his facebook address! I send him this back:

My dear Lucas,

As suggested, I have searched Facebook for Lucas Scott and not come up with anything but an actor. (This is true, btw) MY facebook link is on this page (Sabrina set it up for me), so why not simply add me instead and we can talk. I myself do not watch television as Yalbraith is very remote and we do not receive much in the way of television signals. That is why I have no idea who this Lucas Scott the actor is. Have you seen any of his work? He seems very young.

I live alone on a farm in Yalbraith in New South Wales Australia. Though since Nick left me, my darling Niece Sabrina has been a rock, driving up from Sydney on weekends to see what help she can give me, particularly in computers, where she is an expert, as she is studying IT. She will be on school holidays soon and Sabrina has invited me to spend time with her in Sydney, where she promises to help me "paint the town red" as she calls it. In my days in my native Germany, I was a bit of a model when I was younger and used to spend a lot of time singing karaoke. Sadly, there are no karaoke bars in Yalbraith (or much of anything else for that matter), and I do miss it. Sabrina has promised to take me to karaoke during her term break and I am so looking forward to it.

The farm is owned by both myself and Nick but we are both currently fighting for control of it. As part of my re-invention I would sell the farm and use the proceeds to buy a new property elsewhere. I am not not at all certain exactly why Nick wants the farm, but I suspect that it is simply because I do. It has become pretty run down since we took control of it, but the land itself is worth money, possibly enough to re-invent myself in an actual city and not this remote hell hole.

I am pretty much what you Australians call a housewife. The farm does not actually grow anything, and I suspect in hindsight that Nick bought as part of his mid life crisis. And as I said Nick didn't seem to show any interest in the farm until we separated and I showed interest in the farm.

I should go for now, but please don't hesitate to keep in touch (especially via facebook), and I look forward to hearing from you

I then get this:
Hello you can search for me on Facebook and send me a friends request that way we can talk more and know more about each other and do you still alone right now and again do you own your home or your ex pays for the house rent or something what do you do for a living?

You DON'T KNOW what a HOUSEWIFE is??? Shocked

I get this back:
ok lets talk on Facebook now ok I had added you there or you are having connection problems let me know now ok

OF COURSE, it's all Farcebook's fault:
Dear Lucas,

I am indeed having problems with Facebook. as I am about to head off to Sydney with sabrina anyway, I won't be online for much longer anyway. I will be online for a short time later on tonight, once I arrive in Sydney. I will check facebook then.

Our Boi's NOT the most talkative, but then they never are:
how many hours to Sydney and what time do you have to leave I asked if you work and you didnt answer that part of the question.

Now I should point out I've been in Farcebook chat with this arseloch twice and I will post these another time to give you an idea of what this f*cker's all about. I send him this back. In RL I was NOT hungover (which is an injustice in itself):

My Dear Lucas,
Thank you for your note last night. It is nearly 3pm and I am having a wonderful time in Sydney, but head is a little worse for wear after Sabrina took me out last night.

As I type, Sabrina is on her laptop, looking to see if there's a better model satellite phone I can use at my home in Yalbraith. Something that gets a stronger signal after my current satellite phone dropped out on Sabrina when she rang me yesterday afternoon. She is such a strong willied young woman, and her heart is really in the right place. If I were lucky enough to have a daughter I would want her to just like her.

I am hoping this finds you in Great spirits, as I said I may have had too many spirits last night, but this is a most welcome respite from my messy divorce from Nick. You know, if I DO get to sell the farm, I think I will move to Sydney. What do you think?

He thinks it's time for the Ditz to invest, that what HE thinks:
Hello Hun how are you doing today and I believe you must be thinking I have forgotten about you already and that I dont want to write you but that is not the case As I have been busy trying to tidy so stuffs on here and I will like to ask what can you do for love if you see a man that truthfully Loves you and again instead of Selling the Farm and not doing anything you can Invest the Money into something can bring you money Like the one I am going into Right Now do you know anything about Oil&Gas atall Like that of British Petroleum and Chevron if you know what I mean it brings more than enough money you are thinking if you can let us set up a partnership then it will be very good if you dont Mind and have you Valued the Farm yet to see how much it is Worth Write me back as soon as you can...
Luke

In chat, I tell him I only keep my modelling days money in a bank. Unsurprisingly, he's appalled at that idea. I have given him the 6162 number I know won't work, because NSW doesn't use numbers starting with six yet:

Hello Kathrin,How are you doing and Hope we can talk more when you get to Yalbraith,and I will give you a call later on the Number you gave me and as for the Oil and Petroleum thing it is good business I can lead you all the Way to making good money from it and investment is the only thing that guarantees ones future and Money is Not meant to be Kept in the bank as it will just be like you working for the bank to live and feed on you,you are wrong on just saving and not investing I will advice you more if you need me to and how big is your farm? Hwo is the weather in Australia today and what are you putting on right now if you dont mind can you take a recent picture of yourself and not the old ones that are on there so I can see you now if you dont mind please write me back soon ok.

Luke.

After a 45 minute chat on Facebook, I tell him I have to leave because of an accident of the F4 Freeway (And the fact he was boring me shitless and I had real life problems to deal with). I get this in my yahell box later:

Hello Kathrin Baier,how are you doing today and I was expecting you to email me when you got back home can you please write me and let me know when we can chat ok hun

So I send this back:
My dearest Lucas,

I am sorry for not getting back to you on Sunday night. The accident on the f4 Freeway out of Sydney turned out to be far worse than first thought, with three deaths. The outbound lane had been declared a crime scene as someone had thrown a rock through a car and killed the first driver, which crashed into a second car killing it's occupants. I did not get back home until 4.15am.

The divorce courts was slow and tedious (As you would expect), and Nick was a complete arschloch as usual. I just so wanted to cry, this thing is going so slowly. I have been told the farm valuation will be ready by either tomorrow or thursday, I will let you know it's worth. I am hoping for about $400,000 AUD.

Sabrina will be on holiday soon, and has promised to spend time with me up in Yalbraith. The farm is so quiet and desolate, it will be good to have sabrina there for a few "girls nights out". I am so looking forward to it. So my dear dear Lucas, who do you do for fun? Apart from all this investment talk you keep talking about of course. What do you do for fun? Do you like Karaoke? As you may have gathered, I love it, maybe we can do some together one day.

Maybe you could relocate here by the way. I hear Australia is MUCH warmer than cloudy old Scotland. Helena (my sister who remarried a scot, and is sabrina's mother) says Prestwick is cold all the time and misses the sunny beaches of Sydney (not that I've been to a beach lately, maybe after I *hopefully get to sell the farm)

I must go for now, but I will keep in touch as much as I am able.

In the second farcebook chat, I end with me telling him I have to go, as "Soon to be ex" hubby Nick has just been arrested and taken away by Goulburn Police, JUST when he had finally gotten around to telling what the basis of his scam actually is. That was FUN btw, I could really SENSE the frustration as he stammered to get his point out while I was prattling on about my ex husband. He writes this back:

Hello Kathrin,How are you doing right now and I will like to Explain better to you what I was telling you then,
Well you remembered I told you about investing in Oil&Gas then but now I think there is a better way to handle that par as I have talked to A Minister in Africa as one of the countries selling the cehapest crude oil in the world market right now and he told me we can start by lifting crude oil from the company and reselling it as I have potential buyers in the USA aswell right now and what we will just need to do is that we need to come up with an amount to rent a vessel to transport the crude oil to the buyers and we need to come up with $450,000 USD and I have arranged $300,000 already and if we can sell it right now at the wolrd market we stand to make $1,750.000 Million on the very first transaction we make and form there we can start off well and we dont have to put any money in again after we have started it I have been working this out and I needed to tell you to come up with the other sum of $150,000 so that we can go on with this Transaction and if we can do that this week then it will be really Good for us I have all the necessary documents you need to sign for your safety as I know you dont like risk but I am traveling there this morning to go and Finalise the whole thing ok will you go on with this this is an opportunity of a life time tpo work for yourself and make alot of money and please the Minister of that country said we should not discuss this with anyone as it will be like a blow on him because he is not meant to do all that but the friend that intorduced me to him said he will hepl us hun so lets invest and we will be ok together ok hun..
write me back soon

Luke..

I got that above message about 1000 times both as multiple emails, and as a facebook message. I think he likes me Wink

So I send him this back. As you can see, the Ditz is back to her usual shenanigans, and don't I love it!!!:

My dear Lucas,

I have said before that English is not my native tongue and I do not understand what you have written at all. I will wait until the weekend when the pressure is off and Sabrina can tell me what on Earth you are talking about. I apologise for this, but you must be patient with me. Unless of course you know how to translate this into German...

Well, the valuation on the farm has returned and I said I would tell you about the outcome. It was valued at $620,000 aud (because of the farm's rundown condition), but that was before the New South Wales State Goverment's decision to purchase all the surrounding properties as part of an election promise to make more national parks (there is one a few kilometers away from here). So yesterday, the government has notified us that the farm is to be sold to them... For $672,000 aud! So now there is intense pressure for us to win control of the farm.

Nick has formally been charged with assaulting a police officer and spent last night at a holding cell at Goulburn Police station! My lawyer has petitioned that he is not fit to run the farm due to his violent nature and that we should be awarded sole control of the farm. The Judge will rule on this soon, and we will be given his ruling on Friday.

I have decided that after all this stress is over, I will take a holiday. I am looking into buying tickets to Frankfurt in my native Germany later on this month. I have been fighting this divorce case for so long now, I need to get away. And it has been many years since I was in my native Germany, I really do have a strong urge to see the fatherland again.

Since you are in Scotland, why not join me? Take a quick trip on the Eurostar to Koln, in Germany where I could meet you! We could travel to Frankfurt together and you could meet my gal pals. Though I would have to make sure they do not steal you away from me, an attractive man such as yourself must get all sorts of propositions from women all the time.

From what I can see, it will only take five hours from London to Koln and we could finally MEET!

I am so happy I could shit! Yet another chance to quote the great film director John Waters Wink

Well, I DID ask him to translate it into German:

Hallo mag Kathrin, wie Sie im Augenblick tuend und ich sind, Ihnen besser erklären, was ich Ihnen dann erklärte, Gut erinnerten sich Sie, dass ich Ihnen über die Investierung in Oil& erklärte; Gas dann aber jetzt denke ich, es eine bessere Weise gibt, diese Gleichheit zu behandeln, da ich mit einem Minister in Afrika als eins der Länder gesprochen habe, die im Augenblick das cehapest Rohöl im Weltmarkt verkaufen und er mir erklärte, dass wir beginnen können, indem wir Rohöl von der Firma anheben und sie wiederzuverkaufen, da ich mögliche Kunden im USA aswell im Augenblick habe und was wir gerade tun müssen, dass wir mit einer Menge aufkommen müssen, um einen Behälter zu mieten, um das Rohöl zu den Kunden zu transportieren und wir muss mit $450.000 USD aufkommen ist und ich $300.000 bereits geordnet habe und wenn wir es am wolrd Markt im Augenblick verkaufen können wir stehen, um $1.750.000 Million auf der allerersten Verhandlung zu bilden wir bilden und Form, dort wir gut anlaufen können und wir müssen kein Geld innen stecken wieder, nachdem wir es begonnen haben ich dieses ausgearbeitet habe und ich Ihnen erklären musste, um mit der anderen Summe von $150.000 aufzukommen, damit wir mit dieser Verhandlung weitergehen können und wenn wir tun können, dass diese Woche dann es für uns ich wirklich gut ist, alle notwendigen Dokumente haben, die Sie zu Ihrer Sicherheit unterzeichnen müssen, wie ich weiß, dass Sie nicht Risiko mögen, aber ich dort heute morgen reise, zum zu gehen und das Sache-O.K. zu beenden Sie mit diesem weitergehen dieses ist eine Gelegenheit einer Lebenzeit tpo Arbeit für selbst und verdient viel Geld und bitte sagte der Minister dieses Landes, wir dieses nicht mit niemandem besprechen sollten, da es wie ein Schlag auf ihm ist, weil er nicht bedeutet wird, um alles den zu tun, aber der Freund, der mich zu ihm sagte intorduced, dass er hepl wir Hunne wird, also investieren lässt und wir okay zusammen okayhunne. sind. schreiben Sie mich zurück bald Luke.

Pity in RL I don't actually speak it! Any German speakers wanna tell us if it's a translator or proper german??? It may give us a clue towards an actual location for this guy!

Today I get this:
Hello Katrin I think you got my previous email which I translated to German so can you write me back and let me know what you think

And this:
Hello why have you not been writing me since I hope you are ok I am worried

What do you think, is it time to get a fatal illness? Wink

Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 1:00 am

So here's the first farcebook chat. He seemed to have a lot of problems with connections:

Lucas
Hello

2:54pmLucas is offline.
2:54pmLucas is online.
2:55pmLucas is offline.
2:55pmMe

Lucas (send as a message)
Your chat message wasn't sent because Lucas is offline.
How are you (send as a message)
Your chat message wasn't sent because Lucas is offline.
2:55pmLucas is online.

2:55pmMe hello (send as a message)

Your chat message wasn't sent because Lucas is offline.
2:55pmLucas is online.

2:55pmMe is this working? (send as a message)
Your chat message wasn't sent because Lucas is offline.
2:58pmLucas is online.

2:59pmMe hello? (send as a message)
Your chat message wasn't sent because Lucas is offline.
3:01pmLucas is online.
3:01pmLucas are yoiu getting this now

3:01pmMe yes I am, hello you fixed it!

3:01pmLucas ?

3:01pmMe the connection

3:01pmLucas that is good to hear
it is nice to chat with you atlast babes
so what time do you leave for Yalbraith?

3:02pmMe and indeed it is utterly fantastic to chat to you also, you sexy thing. Now that I stare at your photo more I see how stunning you really are
in two hours

3:03pmLucas thank you and you are not looking bad I think you know that yourself babes?

3:03pmMe I haven't even left yet and I am already missing Sydney
I was attractive when I was younger but not so much now

3:04pmLucas well look is not what judges peoples beauty you know

3:04pmMe but you have aged incredibly well

3:04pmLucas it is what is inside you that matters alot

3:05pmMe I know, but it certainly doesn't hurt to be gorgeous, especially when I was 16 and looking to get into nightclubs in Frankfurt
I do worry I won't be as popular as I was when I was a model
especially in Yalbraith where there is no-one around for friendship

3:06pmLucas well so tell me do you want to be there all by yourself or move to Sydney or be with the man that will love you for who you are hun ?

3:06pmMe either, I just want away from that depressing farm, it has so many memories attached to it
And Sydney is so vibrant, so full of energy, almost like a deutschen city

3:07pmLucas well let me tell you something that you need to understand you need to be aroudn a man that loves you and wnats you

3:07pmMe that sounds wonderful

3:08pmLucas and can you date a man on net like myself and you know meet when the time is right babes

3:08pmMe really? After all, the dating sites I signed up for were useless

3:09pmLucas why and how ?

3:10pmMe I paid a lot of money to join some of these sites, like eHarmony and did not get a single repsonse. Although I'm guessing now you are the exception to the rule

3:11pmLucas so you have never had a chat with anyone online for once ?
well life is not all about money I think it is about Happiness

3:11pmMe no, this is my first chat
when I was with Nick he had the computer almost entirely to himself
I am learning everything from scratch. This isn't even my laptop, it's Sabrina's (send as a message)
Your chat message wasn't sent because Lucas is offline.
hello?

3:12pmLucas is online.

3:12pmMe this chat thing is very confusing sometimes

3:12pmLucas I am here

3:12pmMe I think I might have to do a computer course or two

3:13pmLucas no you will learn with time so dont worry ok hun

3:13pmMe ok

3:13pmLucas so tell me what do you wnat ina an and can you relocate to be with the man you love?

3:13pmMe relocate to where?
I thought you were Australian

3:14pmLucas I am A scottish Man

3:14pmMe really?

3:14pmLucas but love is not measured by distance you know
I have only been to Australia once for a contract which I didnt get

3:15pmMe I have relatives in scotland, my sister married a scottish man! Where in Scotland are you?

3:15pmLucas Irvine

3:15pmMe where is that? my sister is in Prestwick

3:16pmLucas well that is very far from me (In RL it is about 5miles as the crow flies. ANY local should know that hopefully)
but I am not always around as I am now trying to get into Oil and Gas full time

3:16pmMe where is irvine? I am curious

3:17pmLucas it is in North Ayrshir (that's spelt "Ayshire", biut who's counting???)

3:17pmMe is there a way of seeing it online?

3:17pmLucas Irvine is in Scotland ok
3:17pmLucas is offline.
3:17pmLucas is online.
3:18pmLucas have you ever been to Scotland before I bet the places you must have been hearing is Glasgow and stuffs right

3:18pmMe I have never been to scotland
just Prestwick, because my sister lives there. I know nothing at all about the rest of scotland

3:19pmLucas so tell me why do you have to save money when you ca invest it I think I need to advice you on things that you should do and that will make us really last longer even more than friends

3:20pmMe Nick always handled the money.
after he left me I went tot he bank to find out he had tried to empty the account.

3:20pmLucas and how have you been handling it since he is no longer in your life?

3:21pmMe I had to get a court order to stop him and get my share of the joint bank account, then I setup a new bank account and put the money in there (send as a message)
Your chat message wasn't sent because Lucas is offline.
hello?

3:21pmLucas is online.
3:22pmLucas am here

3:22pmMe I trusted Nick so much with things like that, even my money from my modelling days was in that account
I was so foolish, I understand that now

3:23pmLucas so you didnt have any money after he left you ?

3:24pmMe not at first, he froze the joint bank account, I retained a lawyer from Goulburn who has been very good so far
I have about three quarters of my money back now

3:24pmLucas well how much was all your money then ?

3:25pmMe 245,000 euros (I'm not certain yet what that is in Asutralian dollars)

3:25pmLucas well that is good for you tho
so you spend it and not replace it back with anything right ?

3:26pmMe yes, but the farm is worth a lot more
I do not understand the question
I aplogise, english is not my native tongue

3:27pmLucas so what you do now is spend the money you have got and not work for more right ?

3:27pmMe yes, with the divorce being so messy, I spend all of my time in Goulburn Divorce courts
I have no time to work

3:29pmLucas you there ?

3:29pmMe sorry did I drop out?

3:30pmLucas well tell me you dont have to work for more monye why becauseyou dont think you are good at anything ?

3:31pmMe what? I do not understand your meaning

3:32pmLucas well I said dont you want to make more money rather than keep them ?

3:32pmMe What I am saying is that I am spending most of my free time divorcing my bastard of a husband so I can move, get a job and begin again
I like computers, I think I will do a course or two so I can work with them

3:33pmLucas well in due time you can invest so by the time you get over with the divorce you can have things to come to that will be for good and you dont have to find work you can run a business if you want

3:34pmMe I can?

3:34pmLucas well sure you dont know anything about Oil&Gas?

3:35pmMe I know I don't have them on the farm, which is powered by solar panels

3:36pmLucas well you can invest in Crude Oil which I am into right now I am just on the Phase one of the Project and if you want to be a co-owner I can send you forms to Fill and things liek that it is really a good business as you can make over like $1 million in the first Phase alone

3:37pmMe I'm not sure... Isn't it risky? (send as a message)
Your chat message wasn't sent because Lucas is offline.
3:38pmMe hello?

3:38pmLucas is online.
3:38pmLucas am here
sis you get my message ?

3:39pmMe no

3:39pmLucas well you can invest in Crude Oil which I am into right now I am just on the Phase one of the Project and if you want to be a co-owner I can send you forms to Fill and things liek that it is really a good business as you can make over like $1 million in the first Phase alone

3:39pmMe oh that one
yes I got that
but it sounds awfully risky

3:39pmLucas yes
yes very risky a work but it all coems with Insurance

3:40pmMe so I need stability right now, not risky things I know nothing about
bear with me sabrina wants something

3:41pmLucas ok are you leaving right now ?

3:42pmMe yes, there's been a large accident on the f4 freeway. If I don't leave right now I won't be back in Yalbraith until well into the early hours of the morning

3:42pmLucas what is the time right now over there ?

3:42pmMe 3.42pm
and in scotland?

3:43pmLucas dont worry I can guide you into good money with Stability ok hun dont worry about the risk

3:43pmMe I am soory Lucas, but I must pack

3:43pmLucas there is Insurance that covers the Job Work and will pay for the interest you are meant to make aswell

3:43pmMe can we chat again, or email each other?

3:43pmLucas the time in Scotland now is 06:40am
well is your phone with you now ?

3:44pmMe no it is at home in yalbraith

3:44pmLucas WHAT TIME DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL YOU THERE?

3:44pmMe and the weather has made the roads slippery, we will have to be extra cautious
tomorrow evening my time

3:45pmLucas well give me a time how many hours to get back to yalbraith?

3:45pmMe Court begins at 9.30am, I will time to get to and from Goulburn, which is about 90 minutes from yalbraith
so say 6.30pm

3:46pmLucas is offline.

3:46pmMe are you there? (send as a message)
Your chat message wasn't sent because Lucas is offline.

3:46pmLucas is online.
3:46pmLucas is online.
3:46pmLucas ok we will talk this time tomorrow ok hun
3:46pmMe I am sorry but I must really depart.
3:46pmLucas by and take care of your self

3:46pmMe Yes, let's chat

3:46pmLucas love you
Hugs and Kisses

3:46pmMe thank you my dear dear Lucas
thank you, and hugs and kisses back

Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 1:25 am

And a yahoo chat:

Tuesday, 8 June, 2010
scammerboi(10:49 AM): Hello babes
scammerboi(10:49 AM): areyouthere?
scammerboi(10:50 AM): ?
scammerboi(10:50 AM): ?

Ditz(10:51 AM): yes my dear Lucas I am here

scammerboi(10:51 AM): how is life treating you and di you get my message in your email
scammerboi(10:51 AM): ?

Ditz(10:51 AM): when did you send it?
Kathrin(10:51 AM): The last email I got I just responded to

scammerboi(10:52 AM): yesterday and I called your phone it was not good reception where you live?

Ditz(10:52 AM): no, the reception is terrible
Ditz(10:52 AM): That's why sabrina and I were looking for a better sattelite phone on the weekend
Ditz(10:53 AM): we do not get a mobile phone signal at all

scammerboi(10:53 AM): ?
scammerboi(10:54 AM): okbabes

Ditz(10:54 AM): I believe you might call it a "cell phone"???

scammerboi(10:54 AM): welldid you notice when I call you hun?
scammerboi(10:54 AM): we call it a mobile phone over here

Ditz(10:54 AM): No I did not receive anything when you tried to ring

scammerboi(10:55 AM): well so we can talk more this time very day right?
scammerboi(10:56 AM): ?

Ditz(10:57 AM): I mam on abreak at the divorce court right now, in an internet cafe checking my mail

scammerboi(10:57 AM): okbabes
scammerboi(10:57 AM): well so what time will you get home my love?

Ditz(10:57 AM): not until at least 6.30pm local time

scammerboi(10:58 AM): what is the time over there right now?

Ditz(10:58 AM): 10.58am
Ditz(10:59 AM): I go back in a few minutes, the break will be over the trial will recommence

scammerboi8(10:59 AM): so then we can chat very well hun?

Ditz(10:59 AM): I do not understand what you mean

scammerboi(10:59 AM): I said if you get home we talk more
scammerboi(10:59 AM): ?

Ditz(11:00 AM): yes, ring me

scammerboi(11:00 AM): but the Phone not working very well

Kathrin(11:01 AM): but I have no mobile phone as it does not get a signal, you will just have to keep trying, It does work sometimes, sabrina rings me and gets through

scammerboi(11:01 AM): well we should talk on facebook when you get home ok

Ditz(11:02 AM): I will try, sometimes I get so tired from the proceedings I just fall asleep to be honest. The divorce is so draining

scammerboi(11:03 AM): I know I have better things to tell you

Ditz(11:03 AM): can you tell me now?

scammerboi(11:04 AM): and you might need a break to travel and I am willing to make your life good if you want me too hun
scammerboi(11:04 AM): yesbabes
scammerboi(11:05 AM): well I have found a way to make you leave the Australia and the Business I told you it is now safe you dont have to invest a lot of money to make a lot hun

Ditz(11:05 AM): I will not be able to travel until the divorce is finalised you do know that right?
Ditz(11:05 AM): ?

scammerboi(11:05 AM): yes
scammerboi(11:06 AM): I can take care of things before you finish the Divorce hun it is for our future ok k hun

Ditz(11:06 AM): Mein GOTT!!!! (HERE is my fave part of this chat)
Ditz(11:07 AM): Nick is outside, he is beating up a Police Officer! I think I'd better see this, it WILL have an impact on our court case. Hold on

scammerboi(11:07 AM): ?

Ditz(11:08 AM): I have to go, Nick is being arrested
Ditz(11:08 AM): I need to see this
Ditz(11:08 AM): I will talk later about this when I know what is going on

scammerboi(11:08 AM): hold

Ditz(11:08 AM): But it must be good news for the divorce case

scammerboi(11:08 AM): hold on
scammerboi(11:08 AM): hold on please

Ditz(11:09 AM): I will remain online, but I must see what is going on

scammerboi(11:09 AM): let me tell you what I came up with for just 5 mins ok
scammerboi(11:09 AM): I can brief it all in 5 mins ok

Ditz(11:09 AM): I will be back in a few moments, wait

scammerboi(11:11 AM): well instead of investting straight I have talked to a man that can help us lift crude oil and you know Africa has the Cheapest crude oil if you check the world Market what we will just do now is try and buy a full load of Vessel to Ship and we will make a lot from it hun

Ditz(11:14 AM): Oh my god! I always knew Nick had a temper, but he's assaulted a police officer! The Divorce Proceedings are on hold while Nick is escorted into Goulburn Police station. I am sorry but I must go

scammerboi(11:14 AM): ?

Ditz(11:14 AM): I will be in conatct soon and we can talk about your investments then

scammerboi8(11:14 AM): okhun

Ditz(11:14 AM): My ex husband has been arrested

scammerboi(11:14 AM): read
scammerboi(11:15 AM): what I wrote
scammerboi(11:15 AM): please read what I wrote

Ditz(11:15 AM): send me an email explaining all about it
Ditz(11:15 AM): please?

scammerboi8(11:15 AM): do you have up to like $100,000

Ditz(11:15 AM): That way I can look at it in detail

scammerboi(11:15 AM): to make like $1.2million
scammerboi(11:15 AM): ?

Ditz(11:15 AM): I already have $100,000 silly

scammerboi(11:16 AM): it is for crude oil we will put money together and buy then resell it hun

Ditz(11:16 AM): I am sorry my dear dear Lucas, but I must go, Nick is being led away by three Uniformed Police Officers
Ditz(11:16 AM): it will good for us I am sure

scammerboi(11:17 AM): can you invest?
scammerboi(11:17 AM): for us babes
scammerboi(11:17 AM): ?

Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 2:00 am

I send him this back:
There has been a lot of toing and froing in my divorce case. I will write more when I have more time. I must return the break is over.

You can tell he's VERY concerned:
Hello well did you atleast see what I wrote about the investment and what is your opinion about it?

Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 2:02 am

Cue Madness, It must be love, love , love NOT

Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 2:12 am

always had a soft spot for that band Smile

Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 2:17 am

THIS outta put a spark in his wheaties!:

My dear Lucas,

I am sorry but I do not understand the technical terms. They are how you say "zu komplex für mich!" I will ask my divorce lawyer and see what he thinks

Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 2:52 am

Oddly enough, he doesn't seem keen on the idea of sharing the love with my divorce lawyer:

Hello Kathrin it is easy and not complex or Komplex and if you dont mind it is just me and you in this no one should be involved because of security of the Work ok can you get the Money for us to start the Business

Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 2:58 am

I send this back:

But my dear Lucas,

My divorce lawyer is an OLD family friend! If have known him since my days in my native Germany, which is why I trust him implicitly.

SURELY I can ask him to explain it in very simple terms!?!?

Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 3:18 am

So, our boi FINALLY got around to Good ol' WU! Pity Yalbraith has not much of anything:

well Katrin I will like to tell you that the deal is something you know about and you trust so well and that we have met when I came to Australia to make this dream of our life come true ok hun will you do that and if you dont mind me asking dont you want to make good Money do you know western union where to send money internationally?

Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 3:22 am

Not much of anything at all. The ditz sends this back:

My dear Lucas,

I am sorry but I do not know of this "Western Union" you talk about. Was ist das? In Yalbraith, there is not much of anything here, no shops, no post office, no pub even (one of the few things Nick hated about Yalbraith)

Can you tell me what this western Union is???

Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 3:35 am

He's keen... For cash:

Hello well it is where you can send money to anywhere in the world in Minutes and if you give me your full address right now I will check the one that is closest to you and if you can get $4,000 sent I will send you a form you can show to your Lawyer and he will tell you all is well and good but without the form he wont believe so send money for the form and I will send you the form in less than a day ok

I send him this back:

I have to be quick, lunch break is almost over, and my friend Priscilla wants her iPhone back. I will await your form to show my lawyer. I am sure it will be correct and he will explain it simply to me so we can begin.

My address is c/o The Ditz's Farm
Yalbraith Road
Yalbraith
New South Wales 2580

Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 4:12 am

Oh yea he is quick with google, he gave my mom the nearest one to her and Name, address phone numbers and time they opened.. Then copied and pasted in the email.. I swear if they would just make computer that didnt have the copy and paste option over there that might slow them down if they had to actually type everything out..

chrysis As I have told you a hundred times before, you are my hero!!! And has been keeping me updated the whole time. I am so proud of the work that has been done so far and hope and pray he doesn't find this thread. Sad

Maybe its a good thing you posted it where you did? Very Happy

Hide it for now. lol..

Now where did I put my husbands nail gun???

Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 4:18 am

Hi SS, ^^^ This thread is behind a Log-In he shouldn't be able to find it Very Happy

Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 12:11 pm

Fantastic job, internationalchrysis!

Thumbs up

Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 2:47 pm

Oh he's keen alright, AND Google is his friend. He's sent me a list of 8, count 'em eight WU's near Goulburn. And I get this first:

if I tell you where the western union is can you send the Money asap and please go online when you get home ok so we can talk more about it ok

I think it's time for my lawyer to have reservations, and for Nick to lose the farm.

Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 3:13 pm

So, Nick loses the farm and it's party central in Yalbraith:

My dear Lucas,

It is a little after midnight here in Yalbraith, and I had to give you the good news! Nick has been found in contempt of court after abusing the Judge, refusing to recognise his authority as well as the arresting officer's. I have been awarded FULL CONTROL of the farm. I have already placed it on the market and Sabrina will begin looking for new properties in Sydney when her Uni term break begins at the end of next week, something smaller and funkier perhaps.

My gal pals have driven up to the farm and we are partying hard! I will be SO hungover in the morning, but it is fantastic to have all my friends here, Bernadette, Mitzi & Felicia. (Mitzi, Bernadette & Felicia are of course the drag queen names from Priscilla, Queen of the desert) Plus of Course Sabrina and a few of her school friends are here too. I wish you could be here to celebrate with us, you would so love my friends. Perhaps when you finally come to Australia to meet me.

I have sent the emails to my lawyer, who by the way did I mention is also Mitzi's husband? I DID say he was an old family friend, Mitzi and I grew up together in Frankfurt and I actually introduced Stephan to her. (Stephan Elliot is the director) since you are sending him the form, I have decided to send on the emails as well. Once Stephan says it's fine, I will send on the funds you request

But right now as the Australians like to say; "Party party party, OI OI OI!" (They do???)

I am so happy I could shit! The only thing that could make it better was if you were at my side

Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 4:02 pm

He sends me THIS back:

Hello Kathrin what I am saying is that you have to send me money to send you the form so you can show it to Lawyer ok and I hope you can reply me now and did you see the western union location I sent to you hun

I don't effing thinking so pal Rolling Eyes

Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 4:08 pm

Seems that the gals are a bit typsy, and aren't in any mood for his paperwork:

My dear Lucas,

I may be drunk, but even I know that that sending money to someone JUST to get a lawyer a form is ridiculous! Lawyer's LOVE forms, it's what they live for. And my darling Stephan is no exception.

Look, I'll ring him in the morning when I've sobered up again. I seriously doubt I need to send money for a piece of paper. And now back to the partying!!! Priscilla says hi, Mitzi says you're hot!

Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 4:22 pm

I just got this:

Hello Kathrin I am not telling you it is for a piece of Paper as it will show you are ready to Invest in this Oil Lifting in the Oil Region and I am only telling you this and I have gotten enough contacts as to where the Oil will be sold as well I have suitable buyers in Belgium that are ready only if we are ready to supply them with their demands I am just asking if you are ready to invest as this is something that worth's alot and it will be good for both of us I have to tidy things here I am trying hard to make sure we meet soon maybe this will bring us closer than we think hun

Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 4:41 pm

Seems the ditz is not happy (or sober). Typos (deliberate or not) left in intentionally:

Lukas,

I'm reading your email and I don't understand it, but I think I have drunk too much schnapps!

Are you testing me? Becos if you are, Nick used to do that and I won't take that crap anymore. Like the song says babe, I will survive

Mitzi says youre testing me, but I think she's drunk. Priscilla says so too, but I'l look at this again when I'm sober.

Look Luke, I will invest whatever, but you cannot test me. Just sort it out while me and the gals keep drinking. Stephan 'll fix it and you can come live with me in Yalbraith - no sydney - oh I don;'t know

I love you lukey, but no testing me okay

Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 4:49 pm

maybe it is time to send this lad to church so he can pray for his payday

Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 5:46 pm

Lukey tries to tear me a new one:

I am not testing you and again do you have any private life and do you think I am a total Joke to want to sped the rest of my life with you plus you dont even ask after my daughter for once I expect you to atleast show that you care not just about you or me alone but about a whole family ok

Time to return the favour Wink

Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 5:55 pm

Favour returned. Again, typos (Deliberate or otherwise) left in:

lukey,

How DARE you talk to me like thAT! i THOUGHT YOU WERE DIFFERENT but of course you're just like that f*cker Nick! I should've known you're just another man! Anothe rMr Man! MR MAN, some guy who just wants to control all women, well screw that Mr MAn.

I may be drunk but I have standards, I won't write again until you apologise.

You hurt me luke

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