Sometimes its just too damn long. (or, not long enough?)

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Posted: Thu May 06, 2010 6:51 pm

More of a rant but still. Previously posted a fbi/bank of america scam in surplus. So far that had to be the longest, puffed up, inflated, whatever. After dealing with all these for a while it kinda gets to you. :banghead:

Of course the only silver-lining in this is that hopefully a potential victim will get as bored as I did while trying to read through such crap, and just delete it.

Still, this can be a good thing. Maybe if the lads can somehow be de-educated further, and puff up their scripts with even more nonsense (by an esteemed de-educator), it can be of course a good laugh for us, and more importantly, a potential victim will have avoided said scam.

Still whats the longest script anyone here encountered?

Posted: Fri May 07, 2010 10:15 pm

The longest I received so far was this one. Came in last week. Funny thing was that this is the 2nd email. The first one was also script to which I replied (for a change) that I was not interested and could not help. Didn't matter. Page 2 of the script came in. (You might want to start the coffee machine at this point.)

Quote:

Dear Anne,

Thanks for your mail and the contents was well understood by me, Please i want you to know that you do not need a 100 million dollars in your bank account for you to receive the money all you need is a working bank account that is all and based on that give me your consent and give it a try you will be glad you did at the end of the transaction.

Am assuring you that as a very busy businessperson I will not in any way waste your precious time but at the same time will plead with you to give this transaction the necessary attention that it requires and if you do it like the way you handle your other business engagements I assure you that within a very short time we will be able to bring this transaction to a close.

On the issue of your country laws be assured that as soon as the bank is effecting the transfer they will be sending a covering letter to your home bank as a prove of the source of funds so we would not have any problem with that.

The first thing towards receiving this money into your bank account is to apply to the bank as the next of kin to the deceased customer and here is a text of the application which you will retype into your company letter headed paper to make it official but where you do not have a company letter headed paper you can still do it in a plain paper provided that you sign on it. You can send it either through the banks fax line or E-mail which i have provided for you here, but it is better that you do it through email as to avoid it been received as an error but through email as an attachment it will be better. Please do not forget to send a copy of the application to me for verification before you send to the bank.

I still want to reassure you that this is a 100% risk and hitch free transaction as long as you follow my instructions religiously and another point of note is that while this transaction is going on you should try to keep my identity secret so that nobody in the bank will know that I am involved.

I will at this juncture want to bring to your notice that as you are aware that business for it to see the light of the day will require some sort of financing from the parties involved and this is one of such business that has to be financed, but I want to assure you that you will not be alone in the financing of this business you and I will see to it that we bring it to a fruitful end and another thing is that what we are going to spend can not in any way be compared to what we stand to gain now and in the near future if we are sincere to ourselves.

Wishing you and your family a very pleasant day, while waiting to hear from you soonest.

Your friend,
Mrs Cynthia Abdul.

PLEASE BELOW IS THE TEXT OF APPLICATION.

TO: M. ANDRES SELES.
DIRECTOR DOMICILIARY ACCOUNTS DEPARTMENT
AFRICAN DEVELOPMENT BANK BURKINA(ADB)
OUAGDOUGOU BURKINA FASO.
TEL: 226 70 27 18 03
FAX: 226 50 32 72 18.
E-Mail: [email protected]

Sir,

AN APPLICATION FOR THE RE-POSSESSING OF THE ESTATE OF LATE MR ANDREAS SCHRANNER.

I hereby write officially, to inform the management and staff of African Development Bank Burkina (ADB) of the death of my cousin(My maternal cousin) Mr Andreas Schranner whose death occured on the 31st day of July 2007,in air crash.

Late Mr Andreas Schranner during his life time was married and had children who all died on that faithful day. As members of his family, while going through his personal effects we the members of the family found out that he maintained an account with your bank,(ADB) hence we write to repossess his estate which is in line with same without a will.

His account particulars with your bank is as follows:
Account Number: 0849267145

Account Name: Mr Andreas Schranner

Account Balance:$15 Million USD.

The entire family has nominated me to ensure that the said funds is transferred into the undermentioned bank account.

Your name:
Your Address:
Your telephone No:
Occupation:
Nationality:
Age:
Bank name:
Bank Address:
Account No:
Banks tel and fax numbers:

Yours faithfully,
Hudhayfah.
For the Schranner family.
Hotmail : un service de messagerie gratuit, fiable et complet

My favourite line is "the undermentioned bank account", I think Laughing

Posted: Fri May 07, 2010 11:47 pm

This was the opening message from a Lad Lawyer:

Quote:

DEAR SIR/CLIENT,
PROCUREMENT OF WARRANT OF TRANSFER LEGAL AFFIDAVIT OF TRUST/OAT FEE.
SEQUAL TO YOUR MAIL TO ME CONCERNING A FUND TRANSFER OF US$10.5M.WITH ITS TWO YEARS FIXED/SUSPENSE INTEREST OF US$1.050M MAKING IT TOTAL OF US$11.550M TO BE TRANSFERRED OVER TO YOUR ACCOUNT AS THE FOREIGN BENEFICIARY. I RESPONDED BACK TO YOU THAT I SHALL GET BACK TO YOU TODAY AFTER DUE LEGAL VERIFICATIONS ON THE FUND WITH BOA-CI.THIS IS TO NOTIFY YOU THAT I HAVE GONE TO BANK OF AFRICA (BOA) HERE IN ABIDJAN TO CONFIRM THIS FUND DEPOSIT MYSELF.PLEASE THIS IS MY LEGAL WAY OF CARRYING OUT ANY JOB FOR ANY PERSON (S) OR FIRM SO THAT I WILL BE SURE OF WHAT I AM DOING DESPITE THE FACT THAT DR SALAMI YOUNG’S EARLY NOTICE TO ME ABOUT IT AND YOUR SELF.AND WITH THE FACT THAT I HAVE CONFIRMED THE FUND DEPOSIT GENIUE AND LEGALY DEPOSITED,I WILL HELP YOU IN ALL PROCESSES TO TRANSFER US$11,550.000.00 DEPOSIT WITH BOA-CI HERE IN ABIDJAN INTO YOUR ACCOUNT AS SHALL BE PROVIDED BY YOU.I HAVE CONFIRMED THIS FUND DEPOSIT MYSELF.I DID THIS BECAUSE I AM AN INT'L FEDERAL GOVERNMENT SOLICITOR AND DO NOT INVOLVE MYSELF OR MY CHAMBERS TO ANY TRANSACTION THAT WE CAN NOT DEFFEND OR CONFIRM ITS LEGALITY. SO THIS WAS WHY I HAVE TO VISIT THE BANK TO CONFIRM IT BEFORE RESPONDING TO YOU BACK OUR STAND. I AM THEREFORE CONFIRMING TO YOU RIGHT NOW THAT THE FUND DEPOSIT WAS ACTUALLY MADE BY LATE MR WILLIAM DAKU FROM SIERRA LEONE BUT RESIDING IN THIS NATION BEFORE HIS DEATH AND WITH BOA-CI.IN THE DEPOSIT, IT WAS DEPOSITED IN A FIXED/SUSPENSE ACCOUNT WITH A CLAUSE DEPOSIT REMARK OF NO WITHDRAWAL UNTIL FINALLY TRANSFERRED TO YOU THROUGH BANK TO BANK ETT TRANSFER.BECAUSE OF THIS CLAUSE, NOT EVEN ONE DOLLAR WILL BE REMOVED FROM THE FUND UNTIL FINALLY TRANSFERRED INTO YOUR ACCOUNT AS THE FOREIGN BENEFICIARY.
I WANT TO GIVE YOU MY LEGAL GUARRANTEE AS FAR AS THIS FUND TRANSFER IS CONCERNED, EVERY THING IS PURELY REAL AND LEGAL. I ALSO WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I HAVE TAKEN CARE OF INT'L FUND TRANSFERS INVOLVING MUCH MORE HIGHER MILLIONS OF DOLLARS, UK POUND STERLINGS AND EUROPEAN UNION CURRENCY THAN THIS US$11.550M. SO BE REST ASSURED OF RECEIVING THIS FUND INTO YOUR ACCOUNT AS WE PROCEED URGENTLY LATEST BY FRIDAY NEXT WEEK IF YOU WILL GIVE US YOUR MAXIMUM COPERATION. THE FOREIGN OPERATIONS/FINANCE DIRECTOR, DR S4L4M1 Y0UNG OF BOA HAVE EXPLAINED TO ME EVERY THING AND YOUR GENIUE PERSONALITY THAT YOU RECEIVE THIS FUND DEPOSIT OF US$11.550M INTO YOUR ACCOUNT AS A PARTNER AND THE LEGAL BENEFICIARY.I HAVE ASWELL CONTACTED MRS J0Y D4KU FOR HER OWN CONFIRMATIONS CONCERNING YOU RECEIVING THE FUND.SHE CONFIRMED HER HEART DESIRES THAT YOU RECEIVE THE FUND ON HER BEHALF AS THE BENEFICIARY.SO I GIVE YOU MY FIRST CONGRATULATIONS ON THESE CONFIRMATIONS SO FAR..ON BEHALF OF PRESTIGE CHAMBERS CI, I ASSURE YOU OUR MAXIMUM DEDICATION TO CARRY OUT THIS PROJECT FOR YOU TILL YOU HAVE THE FUND CONFIRMED INTO YOUR ACCOUNT.SEQUEL TO MY LITTLE MAIL TO YOU YESTERDAY, (there was no such mail... something I overlooked at the time) THIS COUNTRY IS A LAW ABIDING NATION AND EVERY THING HAS ITS OWN LEGAL PROCEEDURES WHICH MUST BE FOLLWED BY ANY PERSON INVOLVED DESPITE YOUR POSITION.FROM THE FINANCIAL LAWS OF THIS NATION ON INHERITANCE FUND TRANSFER WHICH THIS FUND DEPOSIT FALLS, IT WAS STATED CLEARLY THAT WE SHOULD SECURE AND PRESENT TO THE BANK AS AN AUTHORITY TO TRANSFER THE WARRANT OF TRANSFER LEGAL AFFIDAVIT OF TRUST/OATH.WE SHALL SECURE THIS FROM FEDERAL HIGH COURT OF THIS NATION BY ME AS YOUR INT’L SOLICITOR REPRESENTING YOU HERE.
FIRST OF ALL, LET ME EXPLAIN TO YOU THE IMPACT OF THIS WARRANT OF TRANSFER LEGAL AFFIDAVIT OF TRUST WHICH THE FINANCIAL LAW OF THIS NATION DEMANDS FROM YOU.THIS DOCUMENT WAS MADE COMPULSORY BY THE FEDERAL MINISTRY OF JUSTICE/FINANCE CI TO ALL FINANCE AND SECURITY FIRMS IN THIS COUNTRY SO AS TO BE SURE THAT ANY FUND OR CONSIGNMENT IN THIS CARTEGORY SHALL BE TRANSFERRED OR DELIVERED TO THE RIGHT PERSON AS WILL BE DECLARED BY THE REPRESENTING ATTORNEY AND THE LEGAL NEXT OF KIN.THIS WILL ALSO EMPOWER AND AUTHORIZE THE CONCERNED BANK (BOA-CI) TO CONDUCT THE TRANSFER OR DELIVERY PROCESS TO THE NEW BENEFICIARY'S NAME LIKE YOU AS WILL BE DECLARED BY MRS JOY DAKU AND ME AS YOUR LEGAL REPRESENTATIVE AT HIGH COURT.THIS WILL ALSO SET YOU FREE IN RECEIVING THIS FUND AS YOUR INHERRITED FUND WITHOUT ANY TAX PAYMENT OR ANY SUSPICIOUS INVESTIGATIONS FROM ANY INT'L GOVERNMENT AGENCY OR FROM GOVERNMENT OF AUSTRALIA. AS A MATTER OF FACT, THE FEDERAL HIGH COURT OFFICIAL PROCUREMENT FEE OF THIS DECLARATION (AFFIDAVIT OF TRUST) IS US$550.00 (FIVE HUNDRED & FIFTY UNITED STATES DOLLARS) THIS WILL TAKE CARE OF THE FED.HIGH COURT JUDGE ENDORSEMENT AND THE NON APPEARANCE SEAL STAMP.THEN OUR OFFICIAL LEGAL/CONSULTANCY FEE IS US$ 200.00(TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS) MAKING IT TOTAL OF US$ 750.00 (SEVEN HUNDRED & FIFTY UNITED STATES DOLLARS). YOU ARE HEREBY ADVISED TO SEND THIS MONEY (US$ 750.00 )THROUGH WESTERN UNION TRANSFER IMMEDIATELY FOR URGENCY SAKE WITH MY OUR ACCOUNT OFFICER'S NAME AND OUR ADDRESS AS STATED BELOW:
RECEIVER: J0HN 4TU3
ADDRESS: 1LOT 15 JOSEPH ANOMA STREET PLATEAUX
CITY: ABIDJAN
COUNTRY: COTE D’IVOIRE (OLD IVORY COAST)
AMOUNT: US$ 750.00
TEST QUESTION: FROM WHO? ANSWER: BRADLEY
SEND US THE OTHER REMAINING PAYMENT INFORMATIONS LIKE THE CONTROL NUMBERS, THE SENDER'S NAME AND ADDRESS TO US VIA THIS MAIL ADDRESS.I SHALL PROCEED TO HIGH COURT FIRST THING MONDAY FOR THE DECLARATION AND PROCUREMENT OF THIS DOCUMENT, WHICH I WILL AS WELL PRESENT TO BOA-CI ON YOUR BEHALF FOR IMMEDIATE SIGNING AND TRANSFER PROCESSES.
NB: I WAS MADE TO KNOW THAT YOU HAVE NOT SENT YOUR BANK ACCOUNT FULL DETAILS.SEQUEL TO THIS DEVELOPMENT, YOU HAVE TO SEND IT OVER TO BOA AND COPY TO ME FOR THE IMMEDIATE TRANSFER PROGRAMMING. I WAS ALSO MADE TO KNOW THAT YOUR NATURE OF WORK AND THE AREA YOU ARE RIGHT NOW CAN NOT ALLOW YOU MAKING INT’L CALLS OR RECEIVING ANY. THAT IS NOT A PROBLEM BUT YOU WILL RATHER KEEP TO YOUR BEST CHECKING YOUR EMAIL TIME BY TIME. YOU HAVE TO MAINTAIN THE CONFIDENTIALITY OF THIS TRANSACTION BY NOT DISCLOSING IT TO ANY THIRD PERSON NOT EVEN YOUR BANK OFFICER.THIS WAS TO AVOID YOU BEEN DECIEVED BY WAY OF DIVERTING THE FUND HENCE IS A VERY BIG FUND OF US$11.550.000.00 INTO ANOTHER ACCOUNT ME AND YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO TRACE AGAIN.THIS HAVE TAKEN PLACE IN SOME BANKS INVOLVING THEIR BIG OFFICERS WITH INT'L ORGANISATIONS IN EUROPE, ASIA, AMERICA, OCEANIC AND SOME BANKER OFFICERS HERE IN AFRICA.SO KEEP IT TO YOUR SELF UNTILL FINALLY TRANSFERRED AND CONFIRMED IN YOUR ACCOUNT.
THANK YOU AS YOU CO-OPERATE WITH US URGENTLY TO SERVE YOU BETTER.

Posted: Sat May 08, 2010 2:42 am

@Yastreb. Wow, I actually like that one. Not only it is in all caps, but I am assuming also that in it's original form, there was no formatting to the script?

If lads can be encouraged to just put everything in one 'ginormous' paragraph, it would be very unwieldy for someone to try to read, and be even more inclined not to go along with the scam.

If any baiters do have a mugu around their finger (posing as an 'oga'), perhaps making sure that their script is void of any kind of formatting should most definitely be encouraged. It would be an 'improvement' to their scripts, and totally 'increase' their chances of success. Heehee.

Posted: Sat May 08, 2010 8:57 am

What is with these 'lawyers' that they ALWAYS have to write EVERYTHING in ALL CAPS? Do they all suffer from bad eyesight?

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sat May 08, 2010 2:21 pm

Actually, someone awhile back told us that keyboards in French speaking countries will use the caps lock button to switch the keyboard to an English keyboard. So, perhaps the lad is located in one of those. But, lads do sometimes think that all caps makes it more URGENT! Smile

Posted: Sat May 08, 2010 3:32 pm

It always gives me the impression I'm reading the Microsoft License Agreement Wink

Not quite a Newb Joined: 08 May 2010 Posts: 20

@slaphappy

what an absolutely lame excuse, a french keyboard is not that hard to handle except that you get different thingies with a e or o - my son lives in paris so i DO understand - and i never get what you describe from him. i once had in a hotel to handle email with a GERMAN keyboard - there you go. umlauts!!!

nonsense, pure nonsense.