Dan still loves me

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Posted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 10:43 am

We've been baiting Dan for years, he's been on safaris, been in love with Redshoes, thrown out by his mum because of his strange new friends calling at all hours, and been a regular trophy machine.

When he finally stopped sending his woeful formats to every new character I introduced him to, (including David Beckham and Wayne Rooney) I decided to leave him alone.

He's not forgotten me though....

Quote:

Dan Danin0 to me
show details 11:46 (23 hours ago)
Dad,

I really miss you don't you got time to message me anymore i miss you as much as ever forgotten i have'nt seen you,i feel u as a father,please are we sure we're going to get the champions league the big cross is always safe miss all of your straight from the heart.

All yours,
Dan

Posted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 11:00 am

So are you sure you are "going to get the champions league" or not? Wink

Maybe Dan can help.

(Hmpf, nothing at all from him over here!)

Posted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 11:06 am

Dan doesn't seem to know that Man United (who Roy works for, and Dan's future employer) were knocked out of the Champions League by Barcelona.

I suppose its down to me to break the bad news to him...

I have no idea about this big cross of which he speaks, maybe the TW4T boys had him make one....

Posted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 11:08 am

Weren't they knocked out by Bayern Munich? Wink

Oh yeah, I was just expecting them to get knocked out by Barca! Embarassed

RC

Posted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 11:23 am

Oh no! not Dan? He got beat up/kidnapped by Stanley all that time ago.

I remember him, still faithful to you after all these years. I wonder if he remembers the rest of us?

Trophy Videos · Posted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 12:54 pm

Be a good Daddy, Roy. Have mercy and drive a stake through his heart. Smile

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Yippee!!! Dan is back!!!

For you newcomers, Dan is an incredibly stupid, incredibly lazy lad. We told him that we were sending him a prostitute and he couldn't even get off his lazy butt to make it to the hotel in town. He wanted picked up. So we picked him up. Well, technically it was a pissed off Stanley, who was convinced that Dan had hijacked his shipment of laptop computers, that picked him up, but he did get picked up. Scared the living crap out of Dan.

Posted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 2:15 pm

that's just unbelievable Laughing

Posted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 3:49 pm

Its all true I tell you.
Roy's previous dealings with Dan
http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=154249

Stanley v. Dan
http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=146310

A lot of us v. Dan
http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=149631

An older Roy v. Dan
http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=145920

Roy v. Dan not a safari, with an older link in it.
http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=143756

Paris Hilton v. Dan
http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=144492

So you can see that he has been a busy lad over the years.

Posted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 4:42 pm

This is Dan:

I sent him Wayne Rooney's old Aston Martin:

His stretch limo ended up wrecked in a ditch, too.

We even made him a famous international model and got him on a billboard in Hollywood:

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Dan doing his best Jean Valjean mugshot.

Dan's first attempt at painting his tongue. I didn't buy it.

Dan apologizes for that pathetic attempt

Dan finally gets the job done correctly.

Dan is a legend around these parts. Man, he really, really wanted that Aston Martin. Very Happy

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Remember Roy, not only did his stretch limo end up in a ditch but it got turned into a chicken coop.

We once got Dan to travel to meet with another lad. The other lad compained that Dan smelled. When Stanley and his buddy picked up Dan, thinking that Dan had hijacked their shipment of computers, they were supposed to drive him around for awhile and leave him naked outside of town. After a short time they came to the conclusion that Dan was just too damn stupid to have taken their computers.

Posted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 7:39 pm

What an inspiration! I am glad he has returned Roy.

I actually believe this:

Dan finally tells the truth when he wrote:

All yours,
Dan

419Eater is my life Joined: 17 Apr 2010 Posts: 279

WOW!! I love this guy.

He's so cute, can we keep him? please dad, please

Posted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 8:23 pm

Blimey, there's an old name... oh how exciting Roy, perhaps Dan will safari to South Africa to meet you for the World Cup?

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

I don't think you guys realize just how lazy a lad Dan is. It took quite a bit to get him to travel, and I honestly don't think you'll be able to do so again. He would say that he was going to travel, but he always ended up getting mugged or come up with some other lame excuse. Dan will frustrate the living crap out of you. When we set him up with a prostitute he wanted to know what stuff she was going to bring him. Dan will drive you insane.

For awhile there I had Dan convinced that my psychotic Interpol agent was after him. I also had Stanley staking out his house. Stanley would tell me that Dan was out playing ball with the neighborhood children, and my Interpol agent would tell Dan that an agent had seen him out playing ball with some neighborhood kids, but had decided not to take the shot as it might spook the kids. Dan had to be scared to death. And when Stanley showed up and threw him in the car, well...., I imagine that Dan's shorts ended up quite stained.

Posted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 8:56 pm

I believe it Jayhawk, I even made him a nice lanyard convincer for a Man-U trip, hey it was good enough for me to have safari'd for... but nope...

I was just dreaming...