The Bimbo and the serial killer

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Posted: Thu Apr 01, 2010 2:41 pm

Let's see how quickly we can cut through the script and get to the gold:

Dear Mr Kings,

I have received an email from Mrs Bimbo stating that I should get in touch with you. I have to be honest and state for the record that I am new to all things computer, my niece set this up for me.

I have left the original email for you to read. what do I do next?

Yours in poppers,

Kathrin

Posted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 1:23 pm

Note sent to Barrister:

Dear Mr Kings,

I have received an email from Mrs Bimbo stating that I should get in touch with you. I have to be honest and state for the record that I am new to all things computer, my niece set this up for me.

I have left the original email for you to read. what do I do next?

Yours in poppers,

Kathrin

edited 'cos this thread came up in google Embarassed

Posted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 1:25 pm

I get this this evening:

My beloved Ditz,

My Lord God will bless you and your entire family as you have accepted to do this charity project according to my instruction. I will not forget to thank you in all your prayers to my success in the surgical operation which I will do by Wednesday next week, I know the Lord God will answer our prayers Amen.

Beloved Kathrin, please I want to know if you have contacted my Late Husband Lawyer concerning this transfer, and to know if he has respond to you. Because I want this money to be transfer to your account in your country before I will go in for the operation by next week.

Beloved One, please get back to me as soon as you read this mail,

Remain bless,

Your Sister In Christ,

Mrs.Bimbo.

edited 'cos this came up in google Embarassed

Posted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 1:30 pm

I duly shoot this back:

Dear Bimbo,

I wrote to your Lawyer days ago as requested but as of yet have heard nothing. I feel he may feel I am not deserving enough, and I do not understand why he has chosen to ignore me.

Do you have a lawyer of your own? Maybe we can bypass him if he continues to ignore me.

Yours in poppers,

Kathrin

Even by my lack of standards, this "Lawyer" is one lazy sack of crap. I suspect Bimbo hasn't checked her lawyer mail Rolling Eyes

Posted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 3:20 pm

I get this back:

My beloved Kathrin Baier,

Thanks for your urgent response towards mail this morning.

Beloved Kathrin, my late Husband’s lawyer replied to me this afternoon that he have not receive any mail or massage from you, please if you have not send the massage to him do it now so that he will proceed immediately.

Beloved Kathrin, I will want you to forward to me the email or massage which you sent to the lawyer for me to verify. It is very important.

Remain bless as I wait to read from you urgently,

Your Sister In Christ,

Mrs.Bimbo.

Posted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 3:21 pm

I send this back (along with the copy of the email I sent to her lawyer account):

Dear Bimbo,

As requested here is a copy of the email I sent your lawyer. Though I do find it VERY disturbing that you do not seem to trust me. I am trying to help you, why would I lie to you about something as important as this?

Yours in poppers,

Kathrin

Posted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 3:46 pm

And I send this to the "Lawyer":

Dear Mr Kings,

I do not understand why you have not written back to me, but at the request of Mrs Patricks I have resent my original email. If you do not believe I am worthy please say so and I will return to my divorce proceedings.

Yours in poppers,

Kathrin

Posted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 4:49 pm

And I send her this, just to let her know to check her lawyer account:

I have written again as requested but so far I have still yet to receive a reply. Do you know why that is?

Yours in poppers,

Kathrin

Posted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 6:56 pm

^^^
You sure the lawyer is played by the same lad?
Could be another one who's too lazy to "work" more than one day per week Rolling Eyes

Posted: Sun Apr 04, 2010 3:55 am

Either way, both of them work weekends, got two from the bimbo and one from the barrister. Am about to read them now Very Happy

Posted: Sun Apr 04, 2010 3:56 am

The Bimbo sends this:

My beloved Kathrin Baier,

Thanks for your mail.

Beloved Kathrin, I have as well forwarded your mail to the Lawyer, I hope he will contact you as soon as possible. Please don’t forget to inform me immediately you hear from him.

Remain bless in the Lord,

Your Sister In Christ,
Mrs.Bimbo.

Posted: Sun Apr 04, 2010 3:58 am

And this:

My beloved Kathrin Baier,

;COMPLEMENT OF THE SEASON;

How are you today; I hope the good Lord is with you and your God given home.

My beloved Kathrin; please I want to know if you have hear from the Lawyer concerning the transfer of my money to your account in your country; please get back to me because I want this money to be transfer to you before I will go in for the surgical operation by wednesday next week.

Remain bless as I wait to read from you urgently;

Your Sister In Christ;
Mrs.Bimbo.

Maybe Technomancer was right Wink

Posted: Sun Apr 04, 2010 4:03 am

Seems the Ditz got a discount. Still in all blue caps though:

FROM THE DESK OF: lying sack of crap

ATTN:

MADAM,

THIS IS TO ACKNOWLEDGE RECEIPT OF YOUR MAIL DATED (02- 04-2010). THIS LAW FIRM BY APPOINTMENT COULD REPRESENT BENEFICIARY TO PEFRORM ENDORSEMENT OF DEED OF TRANSFER AND ALSO OBTAIN ALL NECESSARY LEGAL DOCUMENTS ON BEHALF OF BENEFICIARY WHO MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO COME DOWN TO COTE D IVOIRE PHYSICALLY.

YES IT IS MY NOWLEDGE THAT MRS BIMBO. INFORMED ME THAT YOU WILL CONTACT THIS OFFICE AND REQUEST ASSISTANCE FOR THE PROCURING OF LEGAL DOCUIMENTS FROM MINITRY OF JUSTICE AND NOTARY OF STATE ON INHERITANCE MATTERS.

THE LAW OF COTE D IVOIRE MANDATED ALL BENEFICIARY CLAIMING INHERITANCE TO OBTAIN THE FOLLOWING DOCUMENT.

1) LETTER OF ADMINISTRATION
2) POWER OF ATTORNEY
3) SWORN AFFIDAVIT OF LEGALITY FROM MINISTRY OF JUSTICE
4) CHANGE OF OWNERSHIP CERTIFICATE FROM FEDERAL MINISTRY OF JUSTICE HERE,

THE ABOVE DOCUMENTS IS WHAT YOU REQUIRED IN ORDER TO CLAIM THE TRUST FUND AS BENEFICIARY.

MEANWHILE, THE ADMINISTRATIVE COST OF OBTAINING THE ABOVE DOCUMENTS IS AS FOLLOWS:

1) LETTER OF ADMINISTRATION FEE ($250.00 DOLLARS)
2) POWER OF ATTORNEY FEE ($200.00 DOLLARS)
3) SWORN AFFIDAVIT OF LEGALITY FROM MINISTRY OF JUSTICE FEE ($150 DOLLARS)
4) CHANGE OF OWNERSHIP CERTIFICATE FROM FEDERAL MINISTRY OF JUSTICE HERE, FEE ($200. DOLLARS)
STAMP DUTY FEE ($120 DOLLARS)

TOTAL AMOUNT NEEDED ( $920.00 DOLLARS)

HOWEVER, THIS LAW FIRM SHALL REPRESENT YOU TO OBTAIN THESE DOCUMENTS PROVIDED THAT YOU ACCEPT ABOVE STATUARY RULES AND REGULATIONS LAID DOWN FOR THE ISSUEANCE OF THE STATED LEGAL OFFICIAL DOCUMENTS.

FINALLY, OUR LEGAL SERVICE FEE SHALL STAY AFTER YOU RECEIVE YOUR INHERITANCE FUND BUT THE COST OF THE DOCUMENTS IS PAYABLE TO THE MINISTRY OF JUSTICE SO ITS NON NEGOTIABLE. I SHALL GIVE YOU NAME OF THE OFFICER YOU WILL SEND THE MONEY TO UPON RECEIPT OF YOUR RESPONSE.

THIS LAW FIRM ASSURES YOU OUR LEGAL SERVICE IN FULL TILL YOU CLAIM THE FUND TO YOUR ACCOUNT.

REGARDS,

lying sack of crap (LLB)
MEMBER. SENIOR ADVOCATE OF COTE D IVOIRE (SACI)

UGOMBA-CHAMBERS
FROM THE DESK OF: a lying sack of crap
DIRECT TELE. +<snipped>

Posted: Sun Apr 04, 2010 4:12 am

I send this back in an effort to get him off script:

Dear Mr Kings,

Thank you for getting back to me I was starting to worry. I must point out that here in Australia the word Madam is an insult. It is used to insinuate that you are a brothel owner and as a Lutheran I would ask that you refrain from using that term. If you wish you can use the German term for man (It is used in both the female and male terminology): Betrüger.

However I must also point out that I do not understand what I am to do next. Maybe you can tell me

Yours in poppers,

Kathrin

According to the iGoogle translator, Betrüger is German for scammer. Let's see if he uses it

Posted: Sun Apr 04, 2010 4:21 am

I decide to have fun with the iGoogle translator:

My dear Bimbo,

I have finally heard from your lawyer, but to be honest little of what he wrote made sense. It is probably because I am German born and English is not my native tongue. but hopefully I will how you say "Pfund sein Gesicht zu Brei". It means to explain more properly (excuse my english).

In Germany I used to work as a Serienmörder, which I must say was a lot of fun. it is a form of entertainment in Germany and watched by a lot of people, particularly on Television. You should try it one day.

Anyway as requested I have let you know the Lawyer liegt durch die Zähne. He will make everything right.

Yours in poppers,

Kathrin

Posted: Mon Apr 05, 2010 12:49 am

The Bimbo is getting more prolific during easter than she has been before:

My beloved Kathrin Baier,

I am happy to hear that my Late Husband Lawyer has contacted you with the procedure on how the money will be transfer to your account in your country. Please try and co operate with him so that he will get the neccessory Documents that will backup the smooth transfer to your account.

Beloved Kathrin, I am assuring you that all you hear from the Lawyer is true, so please follow his instructions / direction in this matter. Try and comply with him so that he will obtain the neccessory Documents in your favour , then submmit it to the Bank were the said money is presently deposited. This will enable Bank to transfer the money to your account which you will provide.

Beloved Kathrin, I will be glad to read your positive response towards this matter in this regards.

Remain bless,

Your Sister In Christ,
Mrs.Bimbo

Posted: Mon Apr 05, 2010 1:08 am

I send this back. It IS a pity the ditz is SO stupid... The german really means "I want to screw you over":

Dear Bimbo,

Thank you for getting back to me so quickly. I have read everything you have written. we have a saying in my native Germany which I think applies to this that I would like to share with you: "Ich möchte Sie über die Schraube" or "May this be the beginning of something wonderful" I'm sure you'll agree with that.

I will try to comply as quickly and as professionally as possible but upon re-reading his email I realise I do not understand it. It might be because English is not my native tongue, but it seems SO technical and official. Do you understand it?

Can you please ask the lawyer to be patient with me and explain things as simply as possible? As I said my native tongue is German and while I have been in Australia for many years, I still do not speak English as fluently as I would like

Mit freundlichen Grüßen in Poppers

Kathrin

iGoogle is my friend/freund Wink

Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 4:19 am

Mrs bimbo wants to know when I've sent the cash. Pity the lawyer hasn't gotten back to her:

My beloved Kathrin Baier,

Thanks for your mail.

Beloved Kathrin, please tell me if you have finalized with my Late Huband Lawyer concerning the Documents that will backup the transfer of the money to your account.

Beloved, once again I thank you so far you have gone over this charity project which I believe will come to an end very soon. But the most important thing now is get the document to enable Bank transfer the money to your account.

Remain bless as I wait to read from you urgently,

Your Sister In Christ,
Mrs.Bimbo

Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 4:27 am

The ditz writes back. Seems the lawyer is a lazy sack of crap:

My dear Bimbo,

As I mentioned to you earlier, I have received a message that I did not understand I wrote back to the lawyer asking to explain it to me and have not heard anything since.

I want to to help you, but the lawyer seems unwilling to talk to me, dealing with him has become a bit like ein Messer durch Ihre Herzen Betrüger. Please ask your lawyer to get back to me, and help me fulfil this transaction. It would so much to me to help out some of the local charities, as well as yourself of course, but your lawyer is complicating things.

As I have mentioned please be patient with me, as English is not my native tongue, but at the same time I cannot go through with this if your lawyer refuses to write to me

Mit freundlichen Grüßen in Poppers

Kathrin

Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 10:41 pm

The Bimbo sends this:

My beloved Kathrin,

Thanks for your mail.

Beloved Kathrin; Honestly I am very happy in all your assurance and promises of using my money as I instructed. God will bless you and your entire family as have devoted your time to work for him with my inheritance.

My beloved Kathrin; I received an information today from my Late Husband Lawyer that he has contacted you for possibility of obtaining the documents that will backup the transfer of the money to your account in your country. Please my beloved Kathrin; try and comply with him by sending the money requested by the Government Authorities concerned for issuing these legal documents.

This will enable him obtain these documents in your favour then submit it to the Bank. According the Lawyer; as soon as he obtain these legal documents the money will be transfer to your account in your country immediately. So please try and send the money to the Lawyer tomorrow and then get back to me.

Remain bless as I wait to hear your positive response Amen.

Your Sister In Christ;

Mrs.Bimbo

Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 10:50 pm

And this from the "Lawyer":

FROM THE DESK OF: lying sack of crap

ATTN MRS KATHRIN.

DEAR YOU ARE HEREBY ADVISE TO ($ 920 USD) WISH WILL ENABLE ME TO OBTAIN THE NEEDED DOCUMENTS ON YOUR NAME WISH WILL ALLOW THE BANK TO RE TRANSFER THE SAID FUNDS TO YOUR OWN PERSONAL BANK ACCOUNT WITH OUT ANY DELAY.

USE THE NAME AS BELLOW TO SEND THE MONEY IN ORDER TO ENABLE ME OBTAIN ALL THE NEEDED DOCUMENTS ON YOUR BEHALF.

NAME TO USE.

RECEIVER ============== lying sack of crap

RECEIVER'S ADDRESS === COTE D' IVOIRE

CITY =================== ABIDJAN

QUESTION ==============

ANSWER ===============

MTCN ==================

AMOUNT ================

SENDER ================

SENDER'S ADDRESS ======

SENDER'S HOME PHONE ===

AFTER SENDING THE MONEY DO SEND TO ME THE WESTERN UNION MTCN NUMBER IN ORDER TO ENABLE PICK THE MONEY FROM WESTERN UNION OFFICE HERE AND ALSO PROCEED TO OBTAIN THE DOCUMENT ON YOUR NAME.

REGARDS,

lying sack of crap (LLB)
MEMBER. SENIOR ADVOCATE OF COTE D IVOIRE (SACI)

UGOMBA-CHAMBERS
FROM THE DESK OF: lying sack of crap
DIRECT TELE. +<snipped>

what a pity the ditz is too stupid to know what WU actually is... Rolling Eyes

Posted: Wed Apr 07, 2010 12:08 am

internationalchrysis wrote:

FROM THE DESK OF: lying sack of crap

If only he actually wrote that, lol Very Happy

Posted: Wed Apr 07, 2010 2:03 am

^^^ One can dream Wink

Posted: Wed Apr 07, 2010 6:20 am

It's time for the ditz to start showing here stupidity...

Dear Mr Kings,

I have to be honest and admit I am confused. What is the Western 0nion you mention? I am very new to computers, having only bought one after my husband left me for another man.

Up next, can we turn this into a love bait? Wink

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

Quote:

Ich möchte Sie über die Schraube

I would like you across (or over) the screw.

Quote:

Pfund sein Gesicht zu Brei

Pound (British pound, most likely?) his face to porridge.

Hilarious, nontheless! Maybe you should ask him to "wedel dir einen von der Palme" next time. Smile

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