H3len V4ye meets 4sh: My first!

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Thu Apr 01, 2010 9:41 am

Hi, folks!
As a long time lurker and after reading all your fantastic endeavors, I finally decided to answer the call to arms and joined the fray.

This is a work in progress, so I'll keep you posted (I'm chatting with the mugu on my Gmail account right now as I post Very Happy

)

Of course, the stickies have been thoroughly read and I'm baiting safe Smile

Lovely Senegal refugee h3len V4ye approaches no-nonsense, laconic and down-to-earth woodcutter 4sh for help... hopefully, chaos ensues!

As a side note and due to my n00bishness, I'm keeping 4sh's character as "normal" as possible to avoid the mugu to twig. I hope to shove more insanity later as my teeth sink into his neck Razz

As I got the mail from your surplus store, I'll begin with my answer: true to the "make the mugu do all the work", I type as less as possible.

4sh:
H3len,

Sounds good. I believe I can help you.

From where do we start?

I'm well-off enought to get you out of your predicament.

Get back in touch.

4sh.

***

Mugu:
My Darling!

i believe everything is well with you over there in your country! Mine is a bit cool with all hopes that you will assist me to transfer my late father's money into your account,so that you can send me money from there to prepare my traveling document to join you over there and help me to invest the money in a better business because i will like to continue my studies i was in my first year university studying law before the death of my late parents! I have try to claim the money but the bank told me to look for a foreign partner who will assist me to transfer the money because my late father deposited the money and my name as nest of kin that when ever he die let me look for a foreign partner who will assist me to transfer the money into his or her account!

My love i have inform the bank about you as my foreign partner who will assist me to transfer the money into your account for a wonderful life with you over there in your country my dreams country and they are waiting for your contact!

Darling all you have to do now is to send an email to the bank today for confirmation and possible transfer of my money into your account.Please make sure you contact the bank today through their contact information:

ECOBANK SENEGAL PLC
NAME OF THE TRANSFER OFFICER IS MR l33d h4ns0n.
TELEPHONE NUMBER IS +221 331972584
FAX:+221 338654327
Email: [email protected]

Information about the deposit code are as follows.
Name of depositor:Iss4c Nuh4n V4ye
Nationality: Liberia
Next of kin : Miss h3l3n v4ye.
Amount deposited:$6.8m
Account Number: CBUK745608902546/QB/91/A

***

At this point, I fire off a mail ti the [sic]bank and one to the [sic]lovely h3l3n. the bank responds in script....

Bank:

From: The Office Dr. l33d h4ns0n( Foreign Remittance Dept. )

To: 4sh Williams.

Subject: Acknowledgement Of Your Email / International Transfer Processing

Date: 1-04-2010

Attention: 4sh Williams.

We hereby acknowledge and confirm to you that the mentioned funds has manifested in our bank system here in Senegal, therefore, the said fund, a total of $6.8M(Six Million,Eight Hundred Thousand USD) only belonging to our late customer Mr.Issac Nuhan Vaye awaiting to be wired to your nominated account .

The management of the over-head department of the Ecobank, Dakar-Senegal, hereby acknowledge the receipt of your mail in respect of the remittance/transfer of funds from our bank, the sum of $6.8M(Six Million,Eight Hundred Thousand US DOLLARS) only.

Before we can effect transfer of the indicated amount, due processing for the remittance will be observed and concluded, to begin the processing as to enable the transfer of your money, we will require you to forward to us the following urgent requirements below:

1. Your identification, scan and forward to us through email attachment or the page of your passport that contains your photo and datas, or your drivers license copy.

2. A Telephone/fax number for easier communication and where we will fax you every paper works of your transaction with our bank.

3. Your occupation

Note: Upon the receipt of the above requirement from you, we shall process your file and get your file ready for transfer.

Finally, we shall give you the options of transfers as soon as we receive the above requirements from you.

Thanks for your mutual cooperation.

Looking forward to earliest response to this e-mail message.

Best regards

Dr.l33d h4ns0n
Intl. Remittance Director,
EcoBank, Dakar-Senegal.

***

I grab a medium-sized DLL file, tweak it a bit and VOILA! Instant driver's license, dutifully sent to the mugu-bank while entertaining myself with mugu-refugee on chat. i spare you the details as it was effing boring and just served me to reassure the mugu I was real.

Surprisingly, the bank responds totally in-script, which means the mugu never even bothered to open the file (which was, by the way, encrypted by me to pave the way for a mega slap Very Happy

).

Bank:

From: The Office Dr. l33d h4ns0n( Foreign Remittance Dept. )

To: 4sh Williams.

Subject: Acknowledgement Of Your Email / International Transfer Processing

Date: 1-04-2010

Attention: 4sh Williams.

We hereby acknowledge and confirm to you that the above mentioned funds has manifested in our bank system here in Senegal, therefore, the said fund, a total of $6.8M(Six Million,Eight Hundred Thousand USD) only,awaiting to be wired to your nominated account . so kindly furnish us with your nominated bank account information where the funds will be transfered.

The management of the over-head department of the Ecobank, Dakar-Senegal, hereby acknowledge the receipt of your response with scan copy of drivers licences information in respect of the remittance/transfer of funds from our bank, the sum of $6.8M(Six Million,Eight Hundred Thousand US DOLLARS) only.

To begin the first step of your funds transfer process, we have declared the amount to the ministry of finance, otherwise, to the government of Senegal.

To enable our legal department proceed with this transfer from henceforth, you are compulsorily required to send us a LEGALIZATION/PROCESSINGS CHARGES: $2.800.00(Two thousand eight hundred US DOLLARS)

As soon as the charges BELOW are confirmed, we will get your transfer file duely processed and will effect a swift electronic wire traansfer to your nominaated bank account in as soon possible, the wire transfer will manifest in your bank account within 48hours after the transfer was made.

TRANSFER PROCESSING CHARGES: ( COP )......................$1.000.00

WIRE/CABLE CHARGES:( TRANSFER CHARGES )..............$1.800.00

TOTAL:..............................................................................................$2.800.00 ONLY

Also, note that there is a comprehensive insurance policy bond placed on the your funds against any deductions, subtraction from the principal amount of money awaiting an onward transfer to your bank account, this insurance policy bond coverage on the funds is for the safety and security of the funds.

If you have any questions, do not hesitate to call us please.

Thanks for your mutual cooperation.

Congratulations.

Dr.l33d h4ns0n
Intl. Remittance Director,
EcoBank, Dakar-Senegal

Ahh, the price list. Now, the REAL fun begins! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

***

And the exchange ends for now. I'll keep you posted as it gets by, hoping to extract more interesting chats to post (do they count as trophies?)

Posted: Thu Apr 01, 2010 11:04 am

^^ Try complaining that the prices are too high - may get a reduction. Wink

BTW welcome!

Posted: Thu Apr 01, 2010 11:07 am

Note the "$2800 ONLY" Very Happy

Fortunately for me, I have already clearly established that I live somewhere in the Outback...more WU drama for all Very Happy

Posted: Thu Apr 01, 2010 11:55 am

So far so good. Welcome to the madhouse...err, I mean Eater! Very Happy

Posted: Thu Apr 01, 2010 3:10 pm

absolutely on the welcome young person.

I think you'll have more fun with Helen than I will, so I will leave her in your capable hands. May she travel from Mumbai to wherebever the hell you want her to go. Pith Helmets are a great look in a siggy line Wink

Posted: Thu Apr 01, 2010 3:17 pm

Oh, I don't think I'm experienced enough to send her anywhere. I'll be more than happy if I keep her stalling on WU and stuff Very Happy

Posted: Thu Apr 01, 2010 3:39 pm

^^^ I said that too, until I got my first Pith helmet. Have faith Wink

Posted: Thu Apr 01, 2010 4:55 pm

The "bank" strikes back: WESTIN ONION TIME! Very Happy

From: The Office Dr. l33d h4ns0n( Foreign Remittance Dept. )

To: 4sh w1ll14ms.

Subject: Acknowledgement Of Your Email / International Transfer Processing

Date: 1-04-2010

Attention: 4sh w1ll14ms.

We hereby confirm to you that you have to use the western union money transfer so that the remittance will be fast and rapid too. Send the $2.800 through western union money transfer and furnish us with the remittance code information so we can remit the fees you sent the same day and make the transfer immidiately we recieve the transfer charges.

Use the name of my secretary below to send the fees of $2.800 only.
Williams Micheal
Ecobank Plc. Dakar.
Dakar-Senegal
Thanks for your mutual cooperation.

Looking forward to earliest response to this e-mail message.

Best regards

Dr.l33d h4ns0n
Intl. Remittance Director,
EcoBank, Dakar-Senegal.

4sh, being a sensible and no-nonsense lad, fires off this perfectly acceptable, ehm, stalling tactic (Yes, I'm shamelessly going for a piggie here Razz

)

Me to mugu:

Esteemed Sirs,

Since I don't live in a big city and it would be difficult for me to reach the nearest western union outlet (it's a 4 hours drive is weather is good) and since I'm able to do bank transfers online with my desktop due to this particular situation, I think it would be more suitable if I did a direct bank transfer to your own bank: it would be quicker too since I do my supply run only once a month.

PLease confirm the recepit of this mail and elaborate on my proposal.

4sh w1ll14ms

Posted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 1:14 am

What country is your character in?

Whatever country it is, find a small (Ideally VERY small) island off the coast and say you live there. I sometimes say I live in Warraber Island, a island about two kilometres square almost off the coast of Papua New Guinea.

If they ask (and they won't) you can say you're doing charity work there

Posted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 6:50 am

Welcome IMperial Guard.
Please use quotes around the e-mail portions of your post it would make it easier to read.
Nice one.

Posted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 7:09 am

@internationalchrysis: 4sh is Aussie. He lives in a small shack somewhere in the Outbacks, 4 or 5 hours from Sidney.

@wowwow: will do. Smile

Posted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 7:21 am

Round 4!
Lad insists on Western Union. 4sh offers a perfectly reasonable excuse while subtly playing on the old saying "better an egg today than a chicken tomorrow".

Lad:

Quote:

From: The Office Dr. l33d h4ns0n( Foreign Remittance Dept. )

To: 4sh w1ll14ms.

Subject: Acknowledgement Of Your Email / International Transfer Processing

Date: 1-04-2010

Attention: 4sh w1ll14ms.

We acknowledged your reasons but suitablely the use of rapid transfer have to be observed in this case to avoid unecessary delays in accreditting of the online payment,because it have to afflict our correspondance in NATWEST BANK UK, it might take a couple of week to be remitted as the file maybe.

Furthermore, i advice you remitt the transfer charges of $2.800 through western union.

Thanks for your mutual cooperation.

Congratulations.

Dr.l33d h4ns0n
Intl. Remittance Director,
EcoBank, Dakar-Senegal

Me:

Quote:

Dear Sirs,

I see. The point I stress to make is that despite Western Union is faster than a direct bank-to-bank transfer, I won't be taking a trip to Sidney until the end of the month as I go for my supply run.
Sirs, I am ready and well intentioned to pay you your due fees as is required by law, but if you draw your comparison you'll agree that waiting four or five days for a directe transfer is surely faster than waiting a month.

Get back to me.

4sh w1ll14ms.

If they offer me some more complaining, I'll have to take a trip to Sidney. Poor mugu doesn't know HOW dangerous it can be: poachers, bad weather, rabid animals.....and 4sh's car is not in mint condition, mind you Twisted Evil

Posted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 9:35 am

And I proudly present my second chat with the lad. Long, funny, and I GOTS ME BANK DETAILS Laughing

Piggy on the way Very Happy

(erm, any of you ladies and gentlemen can direct me on what to do with it? How do I report it? Embarassed

)

And I snagged myself my FIRST SIGGY LINE! Very Happy

This lad is looking like a goldmine Very Happy

so, without further ado....

Quote:

h3l3n: hello darling
me: Hi there.
h3l3n: goodmorning
i just came to rev father office to see if you write me a mail
so i saw you online
that is good
have you paid the bank???
me: Not yet. They wanto me to make a 4 hours trip to Western Union while an online transfer would be much easiers. Morons.
h3l3n: how??
me: I have online banking at my home, toots. How else could I conduct my business since I live in the middle of nowhere? My clients pay me for my work, fortunately.
And do they give me an account on which to make the transfer? NOOOO. that would be too intelligent. Meh.
h3l3n: but the rev father have an account! if you pay in the rev father account then he will withdraw it and go to the bank and pay!
if you like it like that i can ask the rev father to give me his account information so i give it to you
me: If there's no other option, then so be it. It still puzzles me, but what the hell, as long as it works...
At least it saves me a 5 hour trip in the Outbacks.
h3l3n: africa is not all that developed my dear
africa banking system is not like advance world
me: Yes, but at least one can expect a friggin' BANK to have, like, an account? Sheesh.
h3l3n: africa is not all that developed like western world
is easy for the people abroad but here in africa banking system is diifferent
me: H'm.
Well, enough of that. I'll try to have it sorted out. How are things faring for you?
h3l3n: yes mydear i know what i maen cos when my father is alive he complias alot about africa banking too
honey if you really can do a favor for me to use the way the bank said to avoid wasting time
me: As I said to the bank, I make my trip to sidney only once a month. Do you math and you'll know what it better for you.
h3l3n: cos as the said you have to use western maybe you can try to go to where you can send the money
the money in bank is more important to ua that anyother thing mydarling
try to go to the western union today
or you send someone to go there for you
me: The most important thing TO ME is not getting my ass shot by poachers. It's hunting season and those people shoot on sight, you know?
And besides the occasional ranger patrol, in the outbacks there's no police.
go figure.
h3l3n: so let me collect rev father account number and give to you
but it will waste a lot of time mydear
me: It would be surely a lot less than one month, rest assured.
h3l3n: the rev father said that 2weeks or more before the money arrrrives from australia
Inviato alle 11.03 di venerdì
me: Let's make a deal: since I can't go, I'll put a little extra on the Rev. Father's account so you can buy yourself something nice. Deal?
h3l3n: am not talking about myself
they bank charges am talking about mydear
cos i need to come out of here
me: I know that.
h3l3n: pay the bank first the charges so they can transfer the money first
me: As soon as the Rev. Father sends me his bank account, I'll see right to it.
h3l3n: i dont know waht to do now
ok if you want to send me some money
then you will send everything togewther with the charges OK
me: Yeah, that's what I was talking about.
h3l3n: SO HOW MUCH MONEY WILL YOU SEND ALL TOGETHER
me: 3000 should do.
h3l3n: YES MY DEAR IS OK
I WILL USE THE 200 TO GET MY NEEDS WHILE THE REST GOES TO BANK FOR THIER CHARGES
me: Mkay. Well, it's back to work for me now. stay sharp, toots! Until tomorrow!
h3l3n: WAIT I WANTTO GIVE YOU THE REV FATHER ACCOUNT HE GAVE ME
HE IS WRITING IT OUT FOR ME
me: Ok, but make it quick.
Lots of work to do, you know.
h3l3n: AND HE SAID YOU HAVE SEND THE PAYMENT SLIP IMMIDIATELY U SEND THE MONEY
me: Will do.
Inviato alle 11.12 di venerdì
h3l3n: AM WRITING IT OUT WAIT HONEY!!
me: uh-uh.
h3l3n: BECASUE I WANT YOU TO MAKE THE PAYMENT TODAY SINCE U HAVE THE MONEY
me: Toots, I don't have all the friggin' day. Gots work to do. Give me the account and stop being pushy. I'm a man of my word, and if I say I'll do something. I DO IT.
h3l3n: I KNOW MYDEAR!
AM SORRY BUT AS YOU AM SUFFERING IN CAMP HERE
NO GOOD FOOD
NO WATER
I SLEEP ON FLOOR
AND THE COLD ID HERE AGAIN
I HAVED NO JACKET TO COVER
INFACT I NEED A LIFE MYDEAR
me: Yes, you do, toots. Definitely.
h3l3n: THAT IS WHY AM COMPLAINING SO U WILL KNOW EXACTLY WHAT UR LOVE IS FACING
me: Well, score one for mutual understanding then. Worry not, I'll get you out of there.
h3l3n: YOU MAKE ME FEEL HAPPY BACK THAT WHY YOU ARE MY LIFE
Inviato alle 11.17 di venerdì
me: Look, I'm glad. But i REALLY need that bank account if I have to make the transfer, and I have three pieces of furniture to finish. Can I have it now?
Inviato alle 11.19 di venerdì
h3l3n: YES HOLD ON MYLOVE!
me: I can give you five more minutes. Then I have to go.
h3l3n: OK THANKS
Inviato alle 11.20 di venerdì
me: Well, I must really go now. Just tell the Rev. Father to mail me the account and I'll see to it. Later, toots!
h3l3n: <snipped, bank account data>
honey that is the account information the rev father gave me
me: ok, got it. I'll see to it.
Must go to work now. Stay sharp, toots!
h3l3n: thanks just save the account information ok
and remember to send the transfer payment slip as you make the payment
me: I will,I will.
h3l3n: i love you so much

Note the bold. I couldn't resist. Cool

Advice from the veterans is, of course, welcome and required.
I tried to follow the rules set by most tutorials I did read. How did I fare? Embarassed

Posted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 9:50 am

Imperial Guard wrote:

4sh is Aussie. He lives in a small shack somewhere in the Outback

Don't we all?

Wink

Posted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 9:52 am

Not me. I live in a small rural village in Sicily and wear mustaches and eat pizza Wink

Posted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 1:09 pm

Imperial Guard

Click here for a link to ‘Alan the account killer’

Posted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 3:27 pm

Submitted

Thanks

Posted: Sat Apr 03, 2010 9:47 am

Round 5!
Lad seems a tad impatient, he fires off THREE mails.
Since they're all just crap and I'm awaiting confirmation of the kill, I don't reply. Let the mugu stew for another day Twisted Evil

Lad:

Quote:

My love

How is everything with you? I hope you are doing well. knowing my condition and the sufferings am going through here. Darling please i need you in my life as i have not being myself since i haven't heard from you nor the bank but i found out maybe cos of the easter holiday. You promised to get me out of this place and now i dont want to loose all of that.Try to see how you resolve with the bank to see that the make the transfer soonest my love i know that this might be so much stress that i put you through but i believe in God's will and i think its God's wish that you would be my saviour please don't let me die in this place,i am really in deep sufferings and all my traumas are killing me each day! DARLING I NEED A LIFE!!!!!!!!!! I want to continue my studies so that in future i can become more useful to you.This is part of the reasons i have asked you to keep this secret cos am afriad to loose the money.

I kept seeing your face and i cant wait any longer darling i miss you so much and want to come and be with you my love. I am looking forward to the future for that time when you will hold me in your arms to keep me safe from the cruelties of this world!!!!!!! Sweet kisses to you
I love you!!!!!!! you are my world!!!!!! and there is nothing more that i want other than YOU

With Lot's Of Love Always

Yours H3l3n William 4sh

And this....

Quote:

Goodmorning ,

Just came to see if you write me a mail but unfortunately my gmail account cannot open again, i dont know why??
so i write you from this my live account mylove. write to me with this live account my dear.

I dream of you last night,so have you been able to send the money my dear??

And this.

Quote:

My Darling!

So great to have someone like you over there to fight for me and make sure that i regain my life and start up a better life,Darling all my dreams is all about you and i can't wait to join you to build up a happy family,

My one and only true love of my life all my heart belongs to you and i promise to love and cherish you for the rest of my life, and i want to be your everything because you are everything to me you means so much to me and all my prayer's is for God Almighty to bless you and protect you through out our life.

I love and need you so much in my life.

Yours In Love
H3l3n

Cwap cwap cwappity cwap.

Posted: Sat Apr 03, 2010 10:37 am

"Inviato alle 11.12 di venerdì" - Very Happy

I realised you are italian. No spaghetti, though? Just pizza?
You know the famous Comissario Piedone? I think he lives a bit to the north, he is neapolitan.

Posted: Sat Apr 03, 2010 11:29 am

Obviously I know him. I was raised on Bud Spencer & Terence hill's stuff Very Happy

And as for the Sicilian village, I was just joking about stereotypes. In reality I live up North, near Milan. So Naples is way south of here Very Happy

Posted: Sat Apr 03, 2010 11:35 am

Do a wikipedia search about river Bega (Europe) and you'll find my approximate location.

Posted: Sat Apr 03, 2010 2:02 pm

@Imperial Guard

No need to wait for the account to be killed. You won't hear back from Alan or know if it has been killed unless he needs something else (more info). Just tell your lovely that bank transfers take 4-5 business days. Wink

After that say there is a problem with the account she gave you and the transfer won't complete and you need another account. Laughing

Posted: Sat Apr 03, 2010 10:41 pm

As per Seamless' suggestion, I fire off a quick response saying all is good and done and in 7 days Samar...ehm, the money will be in the bank account.
"she"'s overjoyed Very Happy

Quote:

My love

How is everything with you? I hope you are doing well. Am very much happy this evenning as i saw your email and happy to hear that you have paid the bank charges through the rev father account information.As i have informed the rev father that you said in 7days or more the money will reach the account but the the rev father said that you should try to send the payment transfer slip for confirmation to the bank here.

You know darling, that there is no one that i can go to for help, i do not have anybody in this world, you are all i have and i might die if i loose you because my whole life depends on you. God will bless and reward you for every effort you are making to help me come out from this horrible situation!

Darling you are my source of happiness my hope of living, and i wish you all the best. I always think of you and put you in my prayers.

Bye for now with sweet kisses from your beloved

Yours Angel

H3l3n

Guess what will bounce back in the next few days? Twisted Evil

Posted: Sun Apr 04, 2010 3:05 am

Posted: Mon Apr 05, 2010 9:51 am

Round 7: since the mugu has gone quiet, I fire off a small mail to keep him on the hook. 4sh messes things up regarding the payment slip and brings up "certified 3-mail"...

Quote:

Hey toots,
Sorry for not getting back in touch sooner, but I had lots of work to do lately.
What's the "payment slip" you talk about? As I have electronic banking, all is done by certified Email, which has legal value so I'm perfectly covered on legal grounds should controversy arise. I might forward you the last Email, if you so wish, to make you and the Rev. Father more at ease.
What do you say?

Stay sharp!
4sh.

H3len V4ye meets 4sh: My first!	View next topic View previous topic