Corrupt a wish Genie

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Posted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 10:53 pm

The curse is not that good. What could have been something cool, like being a werewolf or some other curse that chicks dig, it turns out you now have athletes foot.

I wish that in the next Terminator movie, Will 'unfunny' Ferrell gets beaten up by a cyborg before each of his limbs gets ripped off, in HD, 3D and Slow Motion!

Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 6:58 am

Your wish is granted! Alas, the new terminator is played by Will Smith.

I wish I wouldn't have to cut my hand open to remove that splinter.

Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 9:57 am

pphhhttt! Wish granted - you no longer have a hand, or arm, or shoulder thanks to that raging flesh eating Necrotising Faciitis http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Necrotizing_fasciitis - good piccies too Very Happy

I wish lads stopped scamming and took up competitive crochet for profit and fun.

Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 10:00 am

The lads now email asking you to buy several tons of crochet blankets and cardigans 100% risk free so that they can buy more wool to feed their wooly habit

I wish junk mail was made out of pepperoni pizza

Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 10:15 am

Didn't you know? Junk mail IS made out of pepperoni pizza.

But now, because of your wish, the portion and spiciness of your pepperoni pizza's is multiplied hundredfold, and the tomato sauce eats away your computer's motherboard, rendering your computer into a blubbery substance (and creating a huge shortcut along the way that cascades all over the Manchester area - and beyond)

Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 10:18 am

@ wokabo - avert your eyes all. This heathen has not wished. Woe to all. Woe. Shocked

Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 11:04 am

Woops ! Sorry about that.

I wish I didn't forget to make a wish.

Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 11:35 am

FARBLONDJET! Everything you say is now a wish. The wish genie smites you for this blunder. Everything you wish for your worst enemy gets twice as much.

I wish that people standing in the doorways of public transport vehicles would suffer broken kneecaps and fall out.

Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 12:04 pm

Consider this done. They accuse you of having kicked and pushed and you're convicted to 12 months in jail

Woops my wish! I wish that Corona was here with me.

Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 3:30 pm

Granted, Corona will now always be with you.... in spirit, unfortunatly corona is now condemed to spend out eternity as a spirit, and she isnt happy about it, she had such a wonderful life ahead.

I wish i had a corona right now.

Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 5:05 pm

I'm now with both of you but out of spirit. Surprised

I wish everyone was as happy as me. Wink

Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 6:47 pm

KERSPLAT!
Now everybody is as happy as you! However, I'm new at this genie stuff, so I figured rather than cause 6 billion people to get happier, I'd just make one life really sad. Welcome to everybody else's life.

I wish the L.A. Clippers would win an NBA championship

Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 7:06 pm

Sure! They will win--in 2095.

I wish necros were permitted on Eater forums.

Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 7:53 pm

(weirdo "I dream of Genie" sound effect) ... your wish was granted long ago. they are called mods.

Ummmm ... what is a necro? Embarassed

I wish Steward (blessings be into his holy squirts) would find us worthy enough for a third coming. We miss him and want him back. Shocked

Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 10:56 pm

BAM Your wish is granted but he comes back as a numpty who lacks inspiration and originality frankly is a hasbeen.

I wish to have each wish I have become better than the one before.

Posted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 2:07 am

Brakka brakka brakka!!!
Every wish you have is now better than the one before. Unfortunately only this one will be granted. Here's to wishing though.

I wish my laptop was fixed.

Posted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 7:24 am

TIKITIKITIK!!!
It's now fixed on the wall with a 9 inches nail through the screen because you lost patience while trying to make it work.

I wish I'll get this new job I'm interviewed for next week.

Posted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 9:46 am

TAMBAMBLING! You have the job... but where you thought it said rent collector it actually read rent boy and the job contract is binding. You start immediately.

I wish that Mythbusters would test some of the ideas that I've sent in.

Posted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 3:25 pm

KAZZOOOOOFFFF!

All of your ideas are tested out and you're made the laughing stock of the internet because they completely misunderstand your bright ideas and think you're an idiot.

I wish weekend had already started.

Posted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 7:36 pm

Shazam! The weekend has started but now you're too sick to enjoy it.

I wish for a nice cold bottle of Budweiser

Posted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 9:47 pm

zzzzingalingalingo ... your wish has been granted. Please collect your lovely cold beer from that nice hairy man in super-max. He likes to be tickled under his hairy sack when you call him daddy:oops:

I wish Osama Bin Laden (sp??) finally came out of the cave closest and confessed he was a cross dressing goat fucker. (c'mon we all know he has issues Very Happy

)

Posted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 9:59 pm

ZAKHA'DOOM! Osama did just that, but in making his confession, he named his fellow zoophiles, and you were number four on the list.

I wish that the people running the LARP I'm in would stop treating my character there as part punching bag, part chew toy.

Posted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 11:56 pm

KAPOW! Your wish has come true. The folks running the LARP now treat you like you are a urinal/toilet.

I wish my 'roids would go away.

Posted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 12:01 am

WOPBAPALOUBAPALOPBAMBOOM! They do, but they return... with friends and family.

I wish that people would actually notice the BASKETS ONLY signs at checkouts... and that the checkout girls/guys would actually tell people with trolleys at said aisles to go to another aisle.

Posted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 12:43 am

squeak... squeak. Your wish has been granted. The checkout-chicks / dudes death toll reached a new high this week as irate pensioners (and zombies) violently objected to being told to move to the right aisle because they had two many items in the express lane. Surgeons are working around the clock to extract cans of pet food from surviving staff members. One surgeon was quoted as saying: "When will they learn that you NEVER ever tell a pensioner what to do because they really have nothing to loose?"

I wish that I had a life. (Eater is my life ... Embarassed

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