Corrupt a wish Genie

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Tue Mar 23, 2010 9:35 pm

ZZZzzzaaaappp, your wish is granted and now every time you blink the channel changes on the TV, the radios with in 50 meters change channel too and your computer web browser changes pages too.

I wish I were as smart as I think I am

Posted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:29 am

BOOM! You're so smart that you annoy everyone around you and eventually have no friends and you become victim to constant beatings at random.

I wish I could sing well

Posted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 8:27 am

BROOPADOOP! Unfortunately you can only sing, not speak, which makes phone orders a nightmare, and everyone is looking at you strangely all the time.

I wish that low-fat low-cal icecream was made in more flavours and didn't have that odd slippery texture and weird aftertaste.

Posted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 8:44 am

Whooooosh! Wish granted, but now the low cal, low fat ice cream is so delicious and available in so many different flavors that you can't stop eating it, and the total calories and fat taken in is so huge in the end you gain 150 kg's (about 300 pounds in medieval measurements) in no time and you can't get through the door anymore.

I wish my Oracle backup system wouldn't be corrupted due to daylight saving time changes.

Posted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 9:03 am

(150 kilos is actually about 330 pounds, not 200 - but I digress)

BIG BADA BOOM! The problem now is that daylight saving problems now affect you. Soon you are completely out of sync with the rest of the world and the sight of any clock or timepiece (even an hourglass) drives you into screaming fits.

I wish that the agent who talked Jeremy Irons into appearing in the Dungeons and Dragons movie, the casting director who selected Marlons Wayans to appear in it, and whoever did the costume and make-up design for Bruce Payne as Damodar, should all fall into the same 30-metre deep spiked pit.

Posted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 9:10 am

Wish granted, but the spikes are 2 cm (that's about 1 1/4" in medieval measurements) long and covered with a soft big mattress , silk sheets and 7 young, beautiful, very lightly dressed and willing women.

in case the agent, the casting director and the costume designer are female, they are lesbian and so are the girls at the bottom of the pit

I wish my length conversion calculation skills were better...

Posted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 9:31 am

(2 cm is about 0.8 inches - I digress again)

SHLURPEDURP! And you can instantly convert metric length measurements into... Egyptian cubits.

I wish that this madness would end.

Posted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 10:34 am

Pooffff! Madness ("One step Beyond!!!") finally splits, causing their entire portfolio to be on air 24 hours per day over the next 6 months.

I wish my office desk would clean itself up each night.

Posted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 10:46 am

If you want, but you get sacked because your computer and all stationery and office supplies just keep disappearing and gawdamn it, someone's responsible!

I wish that freshly-gorund coffee would taste as good as it smells.

Posted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 11:26 am

OK, it does as of now, but chewing on that coffee powder makes your teeth go dark brown, and the only way to whiten your teeth again is to pull them all and replace them by a cheap set of false teeth (which incidentally make you look like Dracula).

I wish it was already lunch hour (4 minutes to go)

Posted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 11:39 am

BADABING! It's lunch hour. Unfortunately it's still breakfast in the local eateries, and you don't have a gun to back up your desire for lunch.

I wish that there was less gossip about Lady Gaga.

Posted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 11:54 am

Done, but now Beth Ditto is completely gaga.

I wish it was lunch hour again and I hadn't eaten yet.

Posted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 12:16 pm

POOF!

It's now your lunch hour and you haven't eaten. However, all you have are Hot Pockets and the microwave's broken.

I wish I had some chocolate-covered pretzels.

Posted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 12:39 pm

GANGAJANG! Unfortunately, they were in your pockets, and the dry-cleaner closed early...

I wish that scammer hadn't asked me to talk dirty on chat... puke

Posted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 1:13 pm

BANG!

Indeed he didn't. Instead he made you watch him perform a striptease on a webcam chat.

I wish I were getting promoted today.

Posted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 1:50 pm

POOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFF!

You're instantly promoted to Chairman of your company.

As the chairman, it is your duty to move the chairs from the cafeteria to the meeting room for each board meeting.

I which the email I just received (actually while typing this) REALLY was not spam! Promised!

Posted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 3:04 pm

the fairygod mother waves her wand.
Sadly though, despite the promises, assurances, even a handful of RSOT's you don't beleive that the Nigerian Lottery has chosen you, and you giggle as they attempt to send you a genuine cheque for £3 million 100% risk free to a duff address.

I wish that girl will be in the gym again tonight.
AND I'VE SEEN HER IN A VERY SMALL BIKINI BEFORE YOU TRY TO CORRUPT IT THAT WAY! Evil or Very Mad

Posted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 3:25 pm

She's there! Woohoo! With her new girlfriend!

I wish I could play piano.

Posted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:59 pm

wokabo wrote:

She's there! Woohoo! With her new girlfriend!

I think you have missed the point of corrupting the wish! Laughing

You can now play piano as well as a deaf person having a fit with two 7lb sledgehammers sat at the keyboard, blindfolded

I wish I was in the above photograph, the meat in the sandwich one might say! Shocked

Posted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 5:03 pm

Pooffff! Now you have to stay there for 24 hours. Razz

I wish for world peace. Cool

Posted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 5:10 pm

La la la...POOF!! You are in the picture but the camera transformed you into a hotdog and you get eaten. Shocked

I wish I had some caramel brownies with ice cream right now.

Posted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 5:21 pm

^^^

Pooffff! You do and it is as big as a frig and it is melting. Laughing

I wish everyone was as friendly as I am. Laughing

Posted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 5:48 pm

done, everyone is now as friendly as your good self, free beers are handed out everywhere and the world is a better place, unfortunatly to make up for the now lack of rude and abrupt people, you have become a self indulgent, cynical, grumpy, unloving, unloved, boring, insulting, oppressor. Congrats your now a mod.

I wish that i can get away with that last comment.

Posted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 8:22 pm

BING-KLAD-DE-VILIAK! You'd be OK, but for the other 99 comments...

I wish that the true story of what happened on board the Mary Celeste could at last be told.

Posted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 9:29 pm

hisssss: The story was told, but you were called away on important business missing out on the story.

I wish I were cursed