Another worthy target

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Posted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 12:08 pm

Q Yastreb - damn they are good Shocked

Ok ... as promised, a twist to the tale for Smelly has come into play.
The poor man was horribly murdered!!!!! Embarassed

And Cancerous Mole is the sole beneficiary of his CONSIDERABLE estate.
BUT - only if she survives and can prove she was cohabiting with Smelly for at least 18 months.

Will the poncy pommy lawyer come to her rescue? Will they fall for the trap?
I feel a safari in play .... Twisted Evil

Mick 'croc' Dundee wrote:

NAAJA
North Australian Aboriginal Justice Agency

Wednesday, 17 March 2010

<-- snip --->
Dear Poncy Pommy Lawyer

RE: Will – The late Mr Mike Hunt

Greetings to my learned Silk. <- highly qualified lawyer in the OZ and UK legal systems

We understand that your firm, and you in particular, act for a Cancerous Mole.

We act on behalf of the estate of Mr Mike Hunt who was murdered during the early hours of this morning. Please extend our condolences to your client, Cancerous Mole, for her tragic loss.

Mr Hunt instructed us to redraw his Last Will and Testament (the WILL) on Monday 17 March 20010 inst. Inter alia, Mr Hunt instructed that Cancerous Mole:

1. is the SOLE HEIR and BENEFICIARY to his estate; and
2. was his common law wife of some 5 years standing; and
3. is currently in an unknown hospital undergoing cancer treatment (including surgery); and
4. is terminally ill and not expected to live.

We were further instructed to notify you, as Cancerous Mole's legal advocate, of Mr Hunt’s passing so that you might notify your client and obtain instruction.

As you would no doubt know, under Australian Law, a beneficiary must survive the decedent for a period of one month and one day. Should Cancerous Mole fail to survive the statutory period then the subordinate bequests are executed per the WILL.

In such instance, the Northern Territory Independence Alliance (NTIA) will therefore be the sole HEIR and BENEFICIARY.

Further, under Australian Family Law, a common law partner can ONLY inherit an estate if they can prove 18 months of continuous cohabitation. As a fellow Officer of the Court, your own testament will satisfy the Court.

As an aside, we note our client's most recent correspondence to your firm. You may not be aware that Mr Hunt had been observed to behave particularly erratically over the last few weeks. His communications with your learned firm are sufficient of themselves, proof of his failing mental faculties. We respectfully applaud your firms tactful disposition of his communications and request that you say nothing further at all about them.

Should there be any doubt about our client's mental faculties then the will surely be a challenge brought against your client's right to benefit from our client's considerable estate.

Please contact your client, Mrs Amira CHOEN, post haste and seek urgent instruction.

We await your urgent attention and response to this matter.

Yours sincerely

Michael Dundee LLB BBus

If they do contact me then they will learn that someone has to be present during the official reading of the will to get anything at all. Very Happy

Now the NTIA is a political party seeking independence from Australia (made up).
These freedom fighters found out about the change of WILL and this is why Hunt was murdered.
Croc Dundee is part of the group ... and so the saga continues.

Posted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 10:09 pm

Hey all

Cancerous mole seems to have gone to sleep.
Have not heard from her, the posh lawyer or the banker creature for a couple of days.
And judging from recent posts, neither has anyone else?

Could you please tell us where you are up to with this one and what email address is the most active?

As for the mole getting an inheritance - a bridge too far perhaps?
My characters lawyer's letter is fairly close to how they communicate but may be too hard for them to follow.
May need to dumb it down for their consumption if I am to use it in future.

Toodle pips

Posted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 11:12 pm

Smelly makes the news. I cried.

Posted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 11:22 pm

^^^With his own intestines Shocked

how...Australian of him.
I love the name of the reporter.
The whole thing looks great, dogsbum.

My own bait goes very slowly.
So many things I don´t quite grasp and I´m resolved to do this exactly right.
More haste less speed, you know.

Posted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 11:50 pm

^^^ thanks PB ... murder seemed more fun than being taken by a croc.

From where I sit you appear to be going gang busters ... (bows down) ... love your work dude. Very Happy

I hope they keep playing ... wanted to see where this ends. Sigh. Come back cancerous mole ... come back!

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 12:15 am

^^^ I see we have yet another baiter who keeps the Feast of Blarney!
Gang busters are we all, dogsbum.
Even the craziest scrum has a main bait, usually, so I perceive, conceded to the person who starts it.
Obviously eveyone piles on for solidarity, the experience and that feeling when the lad is overcome, as in the hitlad massbait.

I myself enjoy being a secondary character, whining/howling/emoting and distracting the lad´s attention from the principal thrust of the bait. i deeply enjoy weaving little bits of other´s evil intentions unobtrusivley into my baits, thereby increasing the pain.
Some of these lads are very very good, aren´t they, so massbaits are primo to punish them.

You, sir, are an artist.
Only an artist would choose disembowelment over crocs.
It will be hilarioius to see how the lad copes with that inheritance.

I´m looking forward to joining you on many a bait!
Anyway.
Off to demonstrate my devotion to st Patrick

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 1:53 am

^^dogsbum, you have reversed the tables a la WIMP.that should work.
^^@p.b. yes, I enjoy "piling on" in a big dog-pile too. massbait.
I believe I've been dropped by the OMNI bank. sniff...

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 2:01 am

Jed Clampett of the NTIA has a cunning plan (black adder anyone?)

Cancerous Mole is obviously a loose slag out for a quickie.
So ... fess up to Smelly's tortured death, scare the old bag, tell her (sniff) that she has to be here to collect the loot ...
Of course, she will be dismembered like Smelly if she tries Very Happy

OR ... what does she need to get her to scuttle away!

Crazed RedNeck HillBilly wrote:

Northern Territory Must Be Free!
Northern Territory Independence Alliance - NTIA

Hello Cancerous Mole

We are writing to you, your banker and lawyer. So pay attention.

Apparently you just inherited "Smelly" Hunt's estate. That was a mistake that can be easily corrected.

All NTIA members take a blood oath that they will make a Will and leave everything to the Alliance. Smelly was a senior member of NTIA and knew what must happen if he broke his oath: death.

Just before he died he told us he had updated his Will in your favour because he had fallen in love with you. We knew he was behaving oddly but never imagined he would betray us all for a tramp like you.

We know that Smelly's lawyer has already notified you of his death and your apparent good fortune. You (or your legal representative) must be physically present during the formal Reading of the WILL in order to collect your inheritance.

Smelly's estate is needed to fund our independence movement and, just because you could not keep your legs closed, we won't let you ruin things for us now.

You were never meant to learn about any of this but it has already made the papers. (see attached) Smelly got exactly what he deserved. He cried like a girl when we hacked off his sack. If it is of some comfort to you, he did write "I love Amira" using his intestines although we have no idea how he managed it.

What will it take for you to just go away and never bother us ever again? A little money or the dread alternative? Smelly chose poorly.

Decide quickly and carefully because we have no intention of ever letting you get your grubby hands on the entire estate. You would not like to experience what happened to Smelly would you???

A Crazed RedNeck HillBilly (y'all come back now, hear?)

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 2:50 am

Whoo hoo, I am still on board with this one. omni bank and the lawyer want my passport. I am sending it AGAIN. asked him "WHAT'S THE PROBLEM????" I want my 6 and a half millon, dammit.

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 3:44 am

Fuck she dropped me! What the hell did I do?

Quote:

Dear Mrs. Am1ra Choen,

I am sorry to hear of your husband's passing in Port-Au-Prince Haiti
after the earthquake. That earthquake was so devastating and to think
you had to go through that is just awful. If there is anything I can
do to help you out you let me know. Like sending money, medicine,
immigration papers you name it.

Yours truly,

Miss Eva K0k0nen

Quote:

Dearest Sister Eva,

Greetings to you in the name of our lord,

Like i told your earlier the fund was deposited by my late husband to the bank with my name as the next of kin.
I have decided to offer you 15% of the total sum and also i will like that as soon as this fund gets to you , 25% of it should be used in building widows ministry top the memory of my family name which will bear ( CHO3N widows ministry) which the rest of it should be used in helping the orphans and the privileged one's. Mostly in Haiti.

Moreover, the fund is still in the Bank which I will like that you contact the Bank where the fund is been deposited so as to have an
arrangement on how the fund will be transferred to your account . I want you to contact the Bank and tell them that you are my family friend who wants to help me make claims of my fund due to my sickness and that you want them to transfer the fund to your account in your country, presently now my condition is very critical and before contacting you i have made a vow to my God that i will donate this fund for the works of God.

Note that i have also informed the bank that you are my family friend who wants to help me make claims of my fund due to my sickness and i will like that you contact the bank without further delays lets see what will be their suggestions.

Find the contact details of the bank below together with the account details of my late husband,

OMNI-FINANCE BANK PLC

International Banking Department

(London Representative office)

St.Thomas Street
London Bridge,LONDON
Postcode: SE1 9RT
Area: London - Central
Telephone: 0044 7011183963
Email:[email protected]

Contact person: Mr Rich4ard Ph1llips,
Foreign Operations Officer

Depositor: Dr Shl0mo Cho3n .
Amount Deposited: $6.5 million United States Dollars .
Account Number: 04307300201-67
Swift Code: OMFNCIAB.
Date of Deposit: 25/05/2008.
Next of kin ;Mrs Am1ira Cho23n.

Thanks once again for all your concerns and understanding and may God be with you always as i look forward to read from you soonest as soon as you contact the bank.

On the attachment you will find my picture for you to identify me in person and i will like to receive a copy of yours too.

Remain bless in the lord,

Sincerely i remain,
your sister In ,
Mrs Am1ra Cho3n.

Quote:

Dear Am1ra Cho3n,

How are you feeling today? That's very kind of you to send the money
to building a widows ministry. I'm sure the Haitians will be very
grateful for that contribution once get the money out for you. Anyway
I have attached a picture of myself but I did not receive a picture of
you. Did you forget to send one? Please send me a picture of you too
when you have a free moment. I also lost my husband too. He was a
police officer and was about to make an arrest when the robber's
friend came up behind him and shoot him to death in cold blood. I was
able to leave the house for a week I was so sad. A week later I became
very ill from the depression. Don't worry I will be here and will do
my best to make sure the funds get where they need to go. I'm here to
help!

Have a great day and get better soon

--
Sincerely,

Miss Eva K0k0nen

Quote:

Dear Am1ira Ch0en,

You're starting to worry me is everything all right? How is your
illness doing? I hope you're feeling well enough to keep things going
so that way we can get those funds out for you and you can be happy
again as well as building that widows ministry.
Anyway I don't have much time to contact your bank so I will do it on
Thursday. I really want to help you but if you don't mind could you
tell me about your banker first so I know what to expect when I
contact him.

Sincerely,

Miss Eva K0k0nen

I don't get it.

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 3:49 am

koko.dk did SHE drop you, or the bank. I have addys for all occasions
Lawyer too if you want it.

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 3:53 am

@Brainiac: Well, shouldn't she have already emailed me by now? I thought I was sounding legit enough but apparently not. What do you mean her bank dropped me? Was she waiting for me to contact the bank and when I didn't she dropped me?

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 3:54 am

@ Brainiac - at least you ar getting a response. Very Happy

I might have confused their plans a tad ...

Annoyance of posh pom lawyer and banker creature continues...

Jed Clampett wrote:

You are the lawyer for that slag, Amira Choen, right?

Smelly is dead. Murdered - cut into fish food. It was as funny as hell. If you think we won't hesitate to do the same to an old hag like your client then you are as insane as Smelly was just before he lost his head.

Tell your client to forget about Smelly and forget about the Will. She cannot collect anything without physically being here for the reading and that might not be good for her health. Not at all good.

Don't ever doubt that the NTIA has operatives all over the world. We can get to you anytime, anywhere ... by any means. This is one of the benefits of Mossad training.

We don't want to wack an old tart unless we have no other choice, or she pisses us off, or it suits us.

How much does your client need to just go away and never ever come here? You don't have long to get back to us before we activate a London cell.

Jed
Miseria et tardum letium omnibus factoribus doli <- means "Woe and a slow death to all scammer lads!" ... hope they don't speak latin Shocked

)

To the Banker Creature wrote:

You seem to have some sort of relationship with a woman called Amira Choen.

Smelly Hunt has been murdered - see the attached scanned newspaper article. The NTIA claims responsibility. Smelly was punished for changing his will in favour of your friend.

Choen cannot collect anything from his estate unless she or her legal representative appears in person at the Reading of the Will.

Convince her NOT to appear. Smelly was supposed to leave my organisation his estate and not some women he stumbled upon from the UK. We might consider making it worth her while so long as her price is right.

She would need to forget she ever heard of Smelly or the NTIA. People are waiting to know her answer and she has little time.

Convince her to stay away or she might see Smelly before she expected.

Jed
Miseria et tardum letium omnibus factoribus doli

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 3:58 am

dogsbum: She stopped replying after your character died? Do you think that maybe she caught on after other baiter's characters started dying.

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 4:06 am

^^^ Maybe indeed. We really need to keep a tab on all of the bodies lying around here don't you think? Very Happy

No matter. I'm just working on another round of wacky characters for your amusement.

Chief among them is the venerable Alice de Vun der Lund who is a young girl trapped in the weird land of OZ (ORSstralia).
She knows all the best people ... Madden Hattre, Winifred Poohl and Eustachian Tubule.

Alice really needs money so that she can stop turning tricks for the local gang the Rootin Rabbitos. Sad she has the clap and a monkey on her back.

Say no to drugs folks. Just say no.

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 7:58 am

Bad news for Barrister Gerald:

Quote:

That invoice is no good to me! I'm not from the USA; I'm Australian. Why did you assume that I'm a septic?

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 8:35 am

^^^ seems like I will have to get my chuckles vicariously (like all of my bodily functions) ... give them hell Yasreb.
@Koko.Dk - if it will make you feel a bit better, I'll pretend I'm a lad and you can slap Brainiac every second go around. How's that for service?
Please post piccies where possible ... Very Happy

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 9:47 am

Ah, so they get suspicious when you start killing people?

Hoping I'm still in the game here. Just waiting for a reply from the banker after getting him to resend his attachment in the body of the E-mail. (Well, my character isn't as computer literate as me and is very suspicious of strange attachments. Plus her antivirus program is configured a bit oddly and keeps automatically deleting attachments on sight, hehe)
Sent off the bank details of a fictional bank somewhere in Cardiff.

Just playing it slow for now.
I'm definitely secondary character material too.

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 10:22 am

^^^ Be patient. Secondary characters can take off on wierd adventures in ladland without any prior notice. Look what happened to my massage thrapists in the soldier massbait.
Secondary just means you bend to the others, not that you break the Prime Directive: have fun and bait safe. Very Happy

Quote:

Don't ever doubt that the NTIA has operatives all over the world. We can get to you anytime, anywhere ... by any means. This is one of the benefits of Mossad training.

We don't want to wack an old tart unless we have no other choice, or she pisses us off, or it suits us.

Fantastic, dogsbum. I´m willing to bet that´s the first time the lad has been exposed to anything but a hushed, reverential attitude to a cancer patient.

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 6:54 pm

dogsbum: She FINALLY contacted me again! Good grief!

Quote:

Dearest Eva,

Thanks my dear for your reply, i am still praying that things will be better concerning my health. My worry is that i don't want to
lose my money with the bank because of my ill health. You should please try and claim the fund from the bank so that even if i die i will be happy in my grave that my money is well used by you for the good works of God.

You should feel free and contact the Bank with the informations i sent to you earlier , contact the Bank by via telephone or email as the bank will be expecting a contact from you for the release of the fund to you because i have instructed them to do so on my behalf.

You should also relate to me whatever discussion you have with them for my advise and also do not betray the trust that i am imposing on you. Please if I happen to die in this process do try to fulfil my dream by assisting charity organization all over the world. Never you disclose this transaction to anybody for security reasons.

I looking forward meeting with you when this transaction is finalized by his Grace.

Thanks and Remain blessed..

Mrs. Amilrea

Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 5:02 pm

Quote:

Attention; Miss Eva K0k0nen.

Re: Fund Transfer Notice of Amount US$6,500,000.00

Kindly download the attachment file and get back to us for transfer.

Yours Faithfully

Mr. Rird Filps
International Remittance Department,
Ominifinance Bank (London Representative office)
Tel/Fax:+44 701118396

Lazy barrister much?!

Anyway he sent this:

Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 5:39 pm

^^^
That's exactly what they sent me too.
Lazy git won't even type his own script Shocked

Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 9:22 pm

Cammy got that bank letter too back on March 9th.

Meanwhile, I sent this on Friday:

Quote:

That stupid invoice ain't signed! Just get it done, OK? Third time's the charm.

Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 11:59 pm

^^^^dogsbum , he thinks I'm not reading the threads, you can slap
WHO ? evry 2nd go round. I have reached the Barrister Gerald portion of our show. Asked him advice on converting my money to the Antarctic flooble. didn't drop me, said talk to your bank. okey doke