it was I...and I am sorry

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Hello I'm New here! Joined: 08 Mar 2010 Posts: 6

My fellow men, I write this today to apologize for the many wrongs I have committed in my youth. I am now an old man and no longer wish to carry this great guilt on my shoulders. Below you will find all the sins I have committed and the damage that they have inflected so for all of this, I am sorry.

I was the one who convinced women that men loved to hear them complain

I was the one who taught women how to poke holes in condoms

I was the one who told women how much men loved their emotions

I was the one who told women to spend all our hard earned money

I was the one who encouraged women to lie about being on ‘the pill’

I was the one who lied to women about how much we love shopping with them

I was the one who taught women how to drive

I was the one who explained how women should have equal rights

I was the one said how women should never put out until a man has spent X amount of dollars on her

I was the one who told Hillary to run for office

I was the one who started women’s professional sports

I was the one who invented the period

I was the one who convinced women how much men hate sex

I was the one who told women to far freely

I was the one who taught women that they are always right

I was the one who informed women about the dangers of anal sex

I was the one who invented women bodybuilding competitions

I was the one who told women to lie about being raped if they truly hated a man

I was the one who created ‘chick-flicks’ and the one who told women how much men love seeing them

I was the one who gave women the right to vote

I was the one who introduced women to gossip

I was the one who taught women how to make a man sleep on the couch

And finally, I was the one who told women to be as bitchy as possible all the time

But in my defense, for all the wrongs I have committed in this life, their exists one single good deed that I am truly proud of………..

I was the one who introduced women to the kitchen

Thank you for reading this old man’s apology and I wish the best of luck to younger generations in undoing the damage I have caused.

Posted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 7:41 pm

So, your the one 'causing all my problems'

Posted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 7:45 pm

I have no problems with women, so what's the problem?

Posted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 7:47 pm

Cheer up, at least you didn't invent sexism.

Whatever your girlfriend/wife did to sour you on all women, I'm guessing there's another side to the story.

Phillip is it? Wink

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 08 Mar 2010 Posts: 6

how do you know my name???

and yes people obviously this is just a joke. Idon't really hate women lol

Posted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 8:05 pm

^^Luckey guess. Cool

We get that it's a joke, but we're all PC and sensitive here. Wink

Don't worry, Slightlyoutofit will think it's hilarious. Very Happy

Posted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 8:09 pm

^^^ I thought Lucky and the vampire were addressing me. I know my attempts at humor is usually bad and not well understood. Laughing

Posted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 8:16 pm

^^Your name's not Phillip. Rolling Eyes

It's *deleted*

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 08 Mar 2010 Posts: 6

well luckey...you have thoroughly confused me *-*

Posted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 9:00 pm

Luckey has the ability to see into the mind of post makers, he can read the words you didnt type, and knows your biggest fears. He is one, but he is everywhere.

We dont call him Luckey because he is good at guessing.

Be afraid

Edit: so not to invoke the wrath of the spelling gods

Posted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 10:27 pm

mrpwn says:

Quote:

I was the one who told women to lie about being raped if they truly hated a man

Really? Lie in which way?
Now, I am far from politically correct but something has got my goat... Evil or Very Mad

Posted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 10:41 pm

At least, you didn't teach them to ask "Does my bum look big in this?". A question to which there is no safe answer.

Posted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 10:49 pm

I will go out on a limb here and welcome you to Eater Phillip.

Read the Sticky items at the top of each subject area. Please note there is an ongoing "joke" Sticky. Take time to get a feel for this Forum. We are many and like to have fun, we are primarily a baiting site, not a lolz site.

If you have further confessions, please PM them to Nurse Nasty. She will get it all sorted out for you quickly.

Bait safe!

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 12:07 am

^^^ Sorry. I was a little bit too serious there.
As ParaNoid says, Nurse Nasty is your first point of contact. Feel free to PM. She'll point you in the right direction.

Oh, and welcome to Eater. Smile

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 1:32 am

I'll be interested in seeing a counterpoint of that list authored by a woman. Who wants to own up to inventing the TV remote?

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 2:02 am

Yep, I would take it up with the Nastiest. Laughing

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 2:08 am

I don't get it...

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 2:11 am

^^^Me either! Laughing

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 08 Mar 2010 Posts: 6

lol sorry, I thought that general chat meant we could put whatever we wanted...you know like an off topic section or something...didn't know it was general BAITING chat...my bad people Sad

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 3:18 am

Hi mrpwn.

You can talk about anything in here as long as it doesn't go against the guidelines of the General Chat Forum. GC guidelines are here.

gig'em aggs whoop whoop!

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 5:00 am

Hi mrpwn!
Welcome to Eater!

Quote:

I was the one who told women to far freely

Did you mean to say "fart freely"? Coincidentally, I'm wearing a shirt that says that on it just now. Except mine has 3 e's in freeely!

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