Hi i am new here

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 01 Mar 2010 Posts: 4

Hi i am new here and not sure if i am being set up i jiont a dateing site and after a few weeks i say a girl who was from Ghana but living in the uk that look very nice so i e-mail here after a few days we when out for a meal in birmingham we got on very well by the way she is 35 years old and has a littel girl told me she had left her husdan as he used to hit her and has been on her owne for 4 years now and i am 52 years old well for the next 4 weeks we rang each other every day and had a few more datesby now i had spent a lot of money on meals drinks as she like the top type of restrunts about £600 intotal we both desided to have a Aids test so we could go futher with the relastionship and all was fine at that piont i started to full for her after another week or so she told me about her couson how need a hart opration in ghana and needed £3500 i did not no what to say so left it she then told me a few days later that she got it from a friend at work and was going to give it to her other friend how was going back to Ghana that week
but the following day she called me in crying saying that she had lost the money on the way in to town after another day i said i would help her out but need 2 weeks to get the money out of my savings account but i was still unsher if it was ture so when the dead line came to giver her the money i did not and with in a week we had so may rows that in the end she dumpt me i have found out were she live i also have a pic of her and here real name dose this sound like i was been set up as ive not heard of this before most scam are don by the net could some one help me and tell me if thay think it was a scam or if i could find out if she was for reall

many thanks Glen

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 02 Jan 2007 Posts: 5

Quote:

Hello,

I am new here and not sure if I am being set up.

I joined a dating site, and after a few weeks I met a girl who was from Ghana, but living in the UK. She looked very nice, so I emailed her. After a few days, we went out for a meal in Birmingham. We got on very well.

By the way, she is 35 years old and has a little girl. She told me that she had left her husband, as he used to hit her. She has been on her own for 4 years now. I am 52 years old.

Well, for the next 4 weeks, we rang each other every day, and had a few more dates. By now I had spent a lot of money on meals and drinks. Since she likes high class restaurants, I've spent about £600 total.

We both decided to have an Aids test so we could go further with the relationship. All was fine at that point.

I started to fall for her after another week or so. Then she told me about her cousin that needs a heart operation in Ghana and needed £3500 . I didn't know what to say, so she left it alone. She told me a few days later that she got it from a friend at work, and was going to give it to another friend who was going back to Ghana that week.

The following day, she called me, crying, saying that she had lost the money on the way into town. The next day I told her I would help her out, but needed 2 weeks to get the money out of my savings account, but I was still unsure if it was true. When the deadline came (to give her the money) I did not, and within a week, we had so many rows that in the end she dumped me. I have found out where she lives, and I also have a picture of her and her real name. Does this sound like I was being set up? I have not heard of this before. Most scams are done by the net.

Could someone help me and tell me if they think it was a scam, or if I could find out if she was for real?

Many thanks,

Glen

Hello Glen,

Please do not be offended by my retyping your original post. I want to make sure you get the help you need in this situation, and unfortunately your post was a bit unclear. I hope I've gotten all of the relevant information.

As a relative new person to this site, I have to say that while I don't consider myself to be, in any way, an expert at dating/love scams, I would be VERY surprised if this were not in some way a scam.

The lady in your post got you to pay for some expensive meals, and then tried to get a bunch of cash out of you. When you didn't come forth with the cash, she fought with you until you broke up. (In other words, her scam didn't work, so she dropped you to focus on someone less gullible.)

I'm pleased that you didn't get taken in by this woman and her stories.

Again, I hope you aren't offended that I retyped your original post.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 01 Mar 2010 Posts: 4

Thanks dw1

for your help

i have a pic of this girl and her name and her fasebook name and her datingdirect name were should i put these on this site to see if any one eals has come across her i have just done a look up at her msn name wich is

[email protected] and it has scerd the hell out of me

tetenii is some kind of virus cart find any other meaning for the word on the net need help with this one

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 05 Mar 2009 Posts: 582

@G500

Untill Murry, Ima or Kate comes around with more information, I believe the usual advice is to head on over to our sister site scamwarners.com, over there are lots of helpful people with experience dealing with romance/love/dating type scammers and scams.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 01 Mar 2010 Posts: 4

Thanks Merry Widow

ill just have to sit and waite new update she whats to met up again later in the week for a chat ill let you know what happens

Posted: Tue Mar 02, 2010 1:03 am

That was absolutely set up,she didn´t lost the money.

She is trying to get some more from you.

You just lost your money,that is a difference between you and her.

Sorry to hear what happend.

Can you send her email address. Smile

Posted: Tue Mar 02, 2010 2:54 am

Hi G500,

While this is certainly not a typical tactic that scammers use, it certainly sounds like she has, and is still, trying to scam you.

Typically a scammer will remain completely anonymous and only contact you via email, IM or phone. My suggestion would be to completely drop all contact with this person and contact your local police. They will likely not be able to get your money returned but they will be able to tell you if she has broken any laws and may be able to prosecute her if she has.

Posted: Tue Mar 02, 2010 9:21 am

DW1 Sorry to find you here under these circumstances, you are not alone I recall hearing a similar story from a Dutchman, he met and developed a relationship with a Russian woman, spent a lot of money on her and then got dumped.

You have lost £600 it could have been a lot worse, if you had given her the £3,500 you would have lost that too. If you have her real name and address you could alert the police, BUT she hasn't I think done anything illegal. The police might check up on her she might be an illegal immigrant.

If you could post your experiences over at Scam Warners you may be helping somebody else avoid heartbreak.

Posted: Tue Mar 02, 2010 10:48 am

jose_cuervo wrote:

They will likely not be able to get your money returned but they will be able to tell you if she has broken any laws and may be able to prosecute her if she has.

Hi G500.

Sounds like a scam to me.

Following on from Jose's quote above: unfortunately, it's going to be impossible to prosecute her but it's still worth reporting her to your local police as they will hopefully make a record of the incident and if she's got previous or is in the country illegally, they may be able to act.

The advice is to just drop this woman. Have nothing else to do with her at all. If you're suspicious now, how can you expect to have a relationship in the future anyway? If you do insist on meeting her again, do not give her any more money. Whatever her sob story.
The danger of meeting her again, is that she may be a professional scammer and have a convincing story ready for you and if you let your guard down for an instant you may find it costing you a load more money. Far safer to just stay the heck away.

Do you have a copy of the first email that she sent you? You may PM it to me. There is the possibility that she uses a script for her first reply and if so, she may have left footprints on the net.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 01 Mar 2010 Posts: 4

Well thanks for every boddys help i will not be seeing her again i never new that pepole could be so hurtfull i am 52 years old and have been on my owne for 5 years now and throught i had met someone specil at last o well looks like ill just have to growup again but it dose hurt think i need to get away for a bit and dont think ill ever go on a dateting site again better get used to being alone again and again keep up the good work and maybe one day pepole like that will just goway and stop hurting good pepole o well back to the voda bottel

best of luck to every one on here Glen

Not quite a Newb Joined: 08 Feb 2010 Posts: 27

I find your story very interesting. I have been a widower for couple years now.

Working heavy construction lunch times are spent discussing all sorts of things. Naturally the topic of on line sourced dating is one that sparks plenty of interest. Drawing comment even from comfortable happily enough married men.

The answer of what counts as a date is naturally a leading concern. Is a date getting a hamburger and hitting a motel or what? Somehow the resentment that you seem to feel at having spent money buying high class restaurants meals and drinks is shared at the cost of much comedy from the fellows. Thing is if you would prefer to eat less expensively and drink less expensively but are spending more anyway in order to put on a false impression then who is tricking who.

Maybe in the future it might be a good idea to do things that you enjoy on your dates. That way maybe you can avoid feeling abused. Having relations visit from out of town wanting to take in the local sights and flavors is a good way to get some idea's. What do tourists do where you are?

Another thing is that no simply means no. The answer to the question "Please can you give my distant relation L3500 for a operation?
Is "No". Not it will take me a couple weeks to get my money out of the bank.

My advice is to cowboy up. Lucky you escaped the clutches of this conniver. Go ahead and drink heavily. Celebrate your chance to find a better woman next time.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 24 Jan 2010 Posts: 51

I agree, do not have any contact again with the woman, dont give her any more money, she will always come up with a reason for wanting more money, until your bank is emptied, and you lose your house as you cant pay your rent or mortgage, then she would drop you so quickly, and move on to the next person?

How do you know that the child is hers, she may be using them to make you feel sorry for her!!!

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 02 Jan 2007 Posts: 5

devil_woman wrote:

DW1 Sorry to find you here under these circumstances...

just a note, it wasn't me, it was G500. I just retyped the initial post so others could better help.

Smile

Posted: Thu Mar 04, 2010 9:39 am

^^
Yes your post did stand out!

Master Baiter Joined: 24 Mar 2009 Posts: 128

Glenn, Sorry to hear about this moocher!! Drop her!!NOW!! Do not have anything more to do with her. She WILL have more sob storys for you, that WILL cost you more $$$. Wonder why the "cousin" does not have insurance?? Well, there is NO cousin and no need for any kind of operations!!! In the future take a date on a nice walk, go for a picnic lunch, you bring something and she brings something. Take it Sloooow, get to know the person, excellent idea to get tested for aids ect.!!! Join a church group, go to the Library, join a book club. These are places that usually nice folks attend, people who are not concerned about how much money you have or if you are some sort of runway model!! When someone starts asking you for money refer then to a bank ect. if they are not stable enough to get a loan they are probably NOt going to repay you either!!

Posted: Sat Mar 06, 2010 2:10 am

G500 - Thank you for posting. If you read up on romance scammers you will see that this lady was following the standard procedure down to the letter. I haven't heard about this being done in person, it's usually entirely via phone and email, and frequently the victims are women your age. It's interesting that part of her "script" seemed to be that just as the AIDs testing was done there was a sudden need for emergency funds.

I hope you won't completely give up on the opposite sex, although I do think internet dating is something that has to be handled with great caution. If you read about this topic on scamwarners you'll encounter many women who have lost a lot more than 3500 GBP to scammers they've never even met.