The IP search systems are wrong!

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Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 2:46 pm

Just to bring you up to speed:
My character is a little old widow living in a quaint village in Wales. She is corresponding with Cardinal Angelo Sodano in Italy about a nice transfer. Please note that this is 100% safe and risk free, and if a Cardinal says that you better believe it! So my plucky character's son, is the village policeman and has now informed her that the Cardinal, is a Nigerian Scammer!!! Shocked

Now obviously the little old dear is a little concerned about this and has decided to confront the Cardinal about what her son has said!:

Quote:

Beloved Sister,

I am not in Nigeria and what your son is saying is not wrong. Sometimes the internet providers have a problem with the positioning of the satelite and it reads Africa, or America and sometime it reads japan all depending on the satelite positioning to get better service.

My friends from Germany also told me sometime ago my IP address was reading USA and I said am not in USA but Italy. This is not our problem what matter is that we are receiving our mails and the internet providers can position their satelite to suite their reception purpose.

I will not invite you to Belgium if am in Africa. I am not surprised at what your son said because someone has even told me about this in the past and this is not our problem and cannot be solved by us.

Please procced to Belgium as indicated and you will see everything as I have disclosed to you and even if your son wants he can go along with you so that you both can see that I come in good faith.I have no reason to lie to you and I hold you with high esteem.

Please do not doubt me because it is not good for our business and the arrangment so far is in our best interest so do not miss it and proceed as arranged. Sometimes i can make a call to some one in belgium and the person would ask me if am calling from london because the number that came on screen is showing +44 which is london code . All these are network or statelite problem and should not destroy our relationship.

You will meet my accountant as scheduled and if he did not respond to your son's phone call it could be he is on another line or not near the phone.It could have been for soomany reasons and you will meet her in brussels as we have scheduled because without her nothing can be done. I hope that my little contribution has given you a peace of mind.

Remain blessed as i look forward to hearing from you.

Warm regards
Cardinal Angelo Sodano

Scrounged from the 419 Surplus Bin

So there you go! Checking a lads location via IP lookup is fundamentally flawed unless you know where your satellite is.

It's 2:45pm - Do you know where your satellite is?

Laughing

to be honest he is right, he's actually in Benin!

Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 3:04 pm

That's fabulous! Very Happy

Who knew that ISPs had their own satellites?

Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 3:10 pm

Raga Man wrote:

That's fabulous! Very Happy

Who knew that ISPs had their own satellites?

Of course they do! Every now and then they have to get a great big step ladder out and re-position them by hand!

Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 3:26 pm

^^^ I quite like the sound of this man of God.
The worst is that there are people who would believe that jumble of word-bytes.

Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 6:30 pm

Well its the ISPs fault anyways. I mean come on! Why are they still using the old mesh satellites (also known as BUDs). Don't they know that these days everyone uses smaller dishes (12-34") and use Ku-Band or Ka-Band frequencies, which is much more reliable than the old C-Band? Very Happy

Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 9:36 pm

^^^
I abandoned that old inefficient system years ago. I'm now using an encrypted microwave transmission via an unmanned automated relay station on a flying island hovering 100 miles above my house which transmits to a dusty forgotten server room in a space station located in geosynchronous orbit and is then beamed via an FTL communications link to an ISP on the opposite side of the Earth, with the result that my IP address shows my connection as coming from a small bamboo hut on top of a mountain in New Zealand...
(Some lads might actually believe that too Rolling Eyes

hehe)

419Eater is my life Joined: 22 Jan 2010 Posts: 329

As it happens, a basic IP lookup can get it wrong, sometimes by thousands of miles. This is because the sort of search you can do over the net will tell you where the ISP is based, not the IP itself. While the ISP is usually in the same city as the user, it doesn't have to be. Some of my friends have found that lookups on themselves get it wildly wrong. Try it yourself and see how close you get.

I had absolutely no idea, though, that the ISP itself could move around by its own network of private FTL satellites! I'm in the wrong business!

Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 10:45 am

^^^
Obscure sci-fi technobabble is my speciality Wink

The closest an IP search ever gets to me is when it points to somewhere in the town next to mine. Not that far off actually, but it may as well be on the Moon if someone actually comes looking with only a fake name and address to go on.
Almost got me hoping that someone tries it actually, would I get a safari for that? Very Happy

419Eater is my life Joined: 22 Jan 2010 Posts: 329

Technomancer wrote:

^^^
Obscure sci-fi technobabble is my speciality Wink

My present baiting persona is Inspector Gadget, and to avoid the police connotations, I've been listing my job as "Warp Phase Inspector". Very Happy

Quote:

Almost got me hoping that someone tries it actually, would I get a safari for that? Very Happy

No ITP rules aside, I sometimes wish I could give my address as the real address of the Pentagon or something, simply in case someone tried it. Imagine the surprise they'd get when they showed up to do me in. Twisted Evil

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 26 Sep 2008 Posts: 689

Rincewind - your damn heathen Welsh (she's Welsh and is therefore heathen) character should do a lot of penance, in sack cloth and ashes, for doubting the words of an almost sainted cardinal, especially an Italian cardinal after all they practically sit next to the pope during mass .... Laughing

and the Italians are going to kick Welsh ass on the rugby pitch in March

419Eater is my life Joined: 22 Jan 2010 Posts: 329

The physicist in me also can't help pointing out that moving a satellite from one geostationary orbit to another one on the other side of the world is no mean feat, and requires quite a bit of complex maneuvering. I might not be a space engineer, but I suspect that such a maneuver is beyond the capacity of a typical communications satellite.

Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 1:12 pm

N N N wrote:

Rincewind - your damn heathen Welsh (she's Welsh and is therefore heathen) character should do a lot of penance, in sack cloth and ashes, for doubting the words of an almost sainted cardinal, especially an Italian cardinal after all they practically sit next to the pope during mass .... Laughing

and the Italians are going to kick Welsh ass on the rugby pitch in March

Well my little old dear is currently at Brussels airport still waiting for her luggage which got seperated from her on her flight from London. She cant leave it as it's got the money in...well last time she checked it had the money in....

I dont follow sport at all, but I'll chear for any British Team! COME ON WALES!!!!

Baiting Guru Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 3193

ChoppaOfDolla wrote:

moving a satellite from one geostationary orbit to another one on the other side of the world ... such a maneuver is beyond the capacity of a typical communications satellite.

It shouldn't be too hard. You just slow it down a bit and it drops to an eliptical orbit with a lower perigee. When it reaches perigee twelve hours later, you slow it again by the same amount and the orbit becomes circular and faster than the Earth. Then you wait for the right moment and accelerate twice to get back to a geostationary orbit. The timing might be tight, but the delta-v (fuel) requirements are minimal; any amount of speed change would do, it would just take longer to adjust the orbit.

... That is unless you want to avoid any other satellites, in which case there may be an exclusion zone.

Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 9:04 pm

Damn, that's impressive. Once geostationary orbit is established, does it need correction once in a while or does the bird just sit in the same old spot with respect to Earth indefinitely? I often wondered.

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 26 Sep 2008 Posts: 689

Reality is total chaos so yes the geosynchronous orbit wouldn't be perfect so one minute it's directly overhead in Brussels the next it's over Abuja ... or Benin even! Sydney? Cardiff even .... Cool

Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 9:53 pm

^^^
Exactly! Very Happy

It's very difficult to fully explain in detail.
Probably something to do with quantums Wink

Master Baiter Joined: 13 May 2006 Posts: 123

I like how he also uses this as an excuse in advance for calling from a +44 number when it's supposed to be from Belgium - what are the chances you would experience that very same network problem when he calls you?

419Eater is my life Joined: 22 Jan 2010 Posts: 329

Quote:

That is unless you want to avoid any other satellites, in which case there may be an exclusion zone.

There would have to be one of some kind.

As to whether or not you could do it, I suppose that depends on just how much fuel these satellites carry- and whether or not the interdimensional ISP company is willing to pay for it just to scramble our IP tracers.

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