God forbids me to pay scammers - UPDATE lad scriptural proof

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Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 2:15 pm

Calm down mods... this isn't a religion thread Wink

I started a conversation with a recovery scammer and informed him that...

Quote:

I have already paid Mr Dankwambo over 5000 UK Pounds worth of fees and payment to get my fund and i have all the documentation now and I was just about to pay the finance ministry a further 2000 pounds so that the special diplomatic courier could bring my fund to England.

I am sure that there's been some sort of mistake here as Mr Dankwambo has been very kind and I have all his ID from the government and his passport copy and he had managed to get me all the documents for anti terror and money laundry and he's even sent me a picture of the money in a box. So I think that there must be another Mr Dankwambo who is the problem.

I've copied him in at his finance ministry address on this email. Perhaps you could sort the matter out between you.

(cc to my fake lad email)

It provoked the following. I'd normally post this in "goofy crap your lads wrote" but every line is a gem...

Quote:

BROTHER CALVARY GREETINGS. DO YOU EXPECTS GOD IN HEAVEN TO COME DOWN TO WARN AND ADVISE YOU TO DESIST FROM DEALING WITH THIS CRIMINAL IMPERSONATOR CALLED DANKWAMBO.
GOD CAN ONLY SEND SOMEONE THAT IS BORN-AGAIN TO WARN AND ADVISE YOU TO DESIST FROM DEALING WITH THIS CRIMINAL CALLED DANKWAMBO.
GOD FORBIDS THAT YOU WILL CONTINUED TO BE A VICTIM OF FRAUD IN THE HAND OF THIS GOD FORSAKING CRIMINAL CALLED DANKWAMBO AND HIS SO CALLED AGENTS.
GOD GAVE YOU WISDOM. WHY DONT YOU USE YOUR WISDOM TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE SINKING IN THE DRAIN OF DANKWAMBO AND HIS AGENTS.
YOU HAVE PAID OVER $5,000 AND ABOUT TO PAY $2,000. GOD FORBIDS THAT YOU SHOULD PAY THE $2,000 TO THAT GOD FORSAKING CRIMINAL CALLED DANKWAMBO AND HIS AGENTS.
BROTHER ETHEL MIGGINS, DO YOU EXPECTS DANKWAMBO TO BE ANGRY WITH YOU WHEN YOU ARE CHANGING HIS LIFE AND AGENTS FOR GOOD.
THAT CRIMINAL CALLED DANKWAMBO WILL PRETEND TO BE GOOD TO YOU BECAUSE HE IS ENJOYING FROM YOU.
BE WISE AND BE REASONABLE. WAKE UP AND COME OUT FROM YOUR SLEEPING SLUMBER.
HAVING THE PASSPORT OF DANKWAMBO IS NOT THE ISSUE BECAUSE THAT PASSPORT OF DANKWAMBO IS A FORGED PASSPORT AND I SWEAR WITH MY LIFE THAT PASSPORT OF DANKWAMBO IS A FORGED PASSPORT.
FURTHERMORE, THE SO CALLED TWO DOCUMENTS HE OBTAINED FOR YOU ARE ALL FAKE. BEWARE OF THE IDES OF MARCH.
THE SPECIAL DIPLOMATIC COURIER IS ALL AVENUES TO DEFRAUD YOU BY DANKWAMBO AND HIS AGENTS.
BRITHISH GOVERNMENT ARE VERY SECURITY STRICT AND CONSERVATIVE IN NATURE. BEWARE OR YOU WILL REGRET AL LAST.
IF YOU REFUSED TO TAKE MY ADVISE,GOD IS MY WITHNESS THAT I HAVE DONE THE RIGHT THING BY ADVISING YOU TO STOP FURTHER DEALINGS WITH THAT CRMINAL CALLED DANKWAMBO AND AGENTS.
ONLY THE AMNESTY COURT CAN HELP YOU. STOP WASTING YOUR HARD EARN MONEY TO THIS CRIMINAL CALLED DANKWAMBO AND HIS AGENTS.
YOU DONT EVEN NEED TO SEND A COPY OF MY MAIL ADVISE TO THAT CRIMINAL CALLED DANKWAMBO BECAUSE THE CRIMINAL DANKWAMBO WILL ADVISE YOU NOT LISTEN TO ME. THE CHOICE IS YOU BUT GOD IS MY WITHNESS THAT I HAVE DELIVERED A MESSAGE OF DELIVERENCE TO YOU.
GOD BLESS.
ELDER

I will be asking him lots of question to prove that he really is a man of god such as his stance on civil unions between people and livestock.

Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 2:24 pm

There's quite a lot of 'DANKWAMBO' and 'GOD' in that e-mail Wink

Quote:

BROTHER ETHEL MIGGINS CALVARY GREETINGS. DO YOU EXPECTS GOD IN HEAVEN TO COME DOWN TO WARN AND ADVISE YOU TO DESIST FROM DEALING WITH THIS CRIMINAL IMPERSONATOR CALLED DANKWAMBO.
GOD CAN ONLY SEND SOMEONE THAT IS BORN-AGAIN TO WARN AND ADVISE YOU TO DESIST FROM DEALING WITH THIS CRIMINAL CALLED DANKWAMBO.
GOD FORBIDS THAT YOU WILL CONTINUED TO BE A VICTIM OF FRAUD IN THE HAND OF THIS GOD FORSAKING CRIMINAL CALLED DANKWAMBO AND HIS SO CALLED AGENTS.
GOD GAVE YOU WISDOM. WHY DONT YOU USE YOUR WISDOM TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE SINKING IN THE DRAIN OF DANKWAMBO AND HIS AGENTS.
YOU HAVE PAID OVER $5,000 AND ABOUT TO PAY $2,000. GOD FORBIDS THAT YOU SHOULD PAY THE $2,000 TO THAT GOD FORSAKING CRIMINAL CALLED DANKWAMBO AND HIS AGENTS.
BROTHER ETHEL MIGGINS, DO YOU EXPECTS DANKWAMBO TO BE ANGRY WITH YOU WHEN YOU ARE CHANGING HIS LIFE AND AGENTS FOR GOOD.
THAT CRIMINAL CALLED DANKWAMBO WILL PRETEND TO BE GOOD TO YOU BECAUSE HE IS ENJOYING FROM YOU.
BE WISE AND BE REASONABLE. WAKE UP AND COME OUT FROM YOUR SLEEPING SLUMBER.
HAVING THE PASSPORT OF DANKWAMBO IS NOT THE ISSUE BECAUSE THAT PASSPORT OF DANKWAMBO IS A FORGED PASSPORT AND I SWEAR WITH MY LIFE THAT PASSPORT OF DANKWAMBO IS A FORGED PASSPORT.
FURTHERMORE, THE SO CALLED TWO DOCUMENTS HE OBTAINED FOR YOU ARE ALL FAKE. BEWARE OF THE IDES OF MARCH.
THE SPECIAL DIPLOMATIC COURIER IS ALL AVENUES TO DEFRAUD YOU BY DANKWAMBO AND HIS AGENTS.
BRITHISH GOVERNMENT ARE VERY SECURITY STRICT AND CONSERVATIVE IN NATURE. BEWARE OR YOU WILL REGRET AL LAST.
IF YOU REFUSED TO TAKE MY ADVISE,GOD IS MY WITHNESS THAT I HAVE DONE THE RIGHT THING BY ADVISING YOU TO STOP FURTHER DEALINGS WITH THAT CRMINAL CALLED DANKWAMBO AND AGENTS.
ONLY THE AMNESTY COURT CAN HELP YOU. STOP WASTING YOUR HARD EARN MONEY TO THIS CRIMINAL CALLED DANKWAMBO AND HIS AGENTS.
YOU DONT EVEN NEED TO SEND A COPY OF MY MAIL ADVISE TO THAT CRIMINAL CALLED DANKWAMBO BECAUSE THE CRIMINAL DANKWAMBO WILL ADVISE YOU NOT LISTEN TO ME. THE CHOICE IS YOU BUT GOD IS MY WITHNESS THAT I HAVE DELIVERED A MESSAGE OF DELIVERENCE TO YOU.
GOD BLESS.
ELDER KENEDDY GREEN

"HAVING THE PASSPORT OF DANKWAMBO IS NOT THE ISSUE BECAUSE THAT PASSPORT OF DANKWAMBO IS A FORGED PASSPORT AND I SWEAR WITH MY LIFE THAT PASSPORT OF DANKWAMBO IS A FORGED PASSPORT. "
Please, tell me you have an unforged DANKWAMBO-passport Wink

Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 2:37 pm

Aww send him some money, FFS.

God will provide him with the MTCN, of course.

Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 2:40 pm

Beautiful!

Lad wrote:

BEWARE OF THE IDES OF MARCH.

Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 3:07 pm

Bads news Elder kidney bean,

if ony you'd received his warning that little bit earlier he could've saved you from sending that last 2,000, of course you gamflambelled down to western onion but alas and forsooth you were too late it had already been picked up.
Just to be safe you'll need to make sure everything is done using the secure services from now on

Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 3:21 pm

^^^I have a special place in my heart for religiously minded scammers.
After I read this last message, two thoughts occured to me.
Firstly, would it be possible to have a variant of 5ecure with bible oriented questions, an option, as it were.

And secondly, I have some baits going from which I´m extracting bank accounts. It occured to me I could 'change my mind' about western onion and use the 5ecure modality to enliven their weekends.
And on Monday, refreshed and rested, back to work.

Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 3:23 pm

^I think that it wouldn't be too big an addition to the current system (and otherwise a copy of the current system could be set up, with only religious questions, if the creator would allow that), but someone would have to make a big list of question...

Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 3:27 pm

Sunshine brings darkness to a lad's life.

Cool

Trophy Videos · Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 4:40 pm

Nice ungodly explosion there, sunshine. Very Happy

The ides of March comment tickled my funny bone, too. Laughing

I'd like to hear him explain some Shakespeare to you. Smile

Master Baiter Joined: 10 Feb 2010 Posts: 160

Lol very funny Smile

Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 6:00 pm

Quote:

WAKE UP AND COME OUT FROM YOUR SLEEPING SLUMBER.

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Jan 2009 Posts: 1440

Poor lad is going to have a stroke problem pretty soon.

Oh if only we could see this: Lad's eyes popping like a cartoon character, jamming on the Caps Lock key and typing like a fury with sweat flying from every pore at the thought of that criminal DANKWAMBO raking in the dough.

Can someone plant a hidden camera in an internet cafe? Hilarity would surely ensue.

Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 9:16 pm

We'll have to add D4NKW4MB0 to the list of choppers with G0mer, B0swell, and Wilson.

Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 3:33 am

Ya gotta love the way a good chop twists the knife in a howling mugu. Laughing

That all looks original and from the heart, great work sunshine. clapping

Is he going to hear from "D@NKWAMBO"?

Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 4:20 am

^^ScammedOut Security cams at the internet cafe.
kinda like a fly on the wall

Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 6:15 am

Tuco wrote:

Is he going to hear from "D@NKWAMBO"?

Oh yes, he has...

Quote:

MAGA MY CLIENT. NO POUR SAND FOR MI GARI. KEEP OFF OOOOOOOOOOOOO

"pour sand in my gari" Garri is a flour made from maize (or millet) "don't pour sand in my garri" is an expression meaning something along the lines of "don't make my life uncomfortable".

No response yet, think he's seething.

Incidentally Mr Dankwambo is the Accountant-General of Nigeria, think of him as a Chucky Soludo only not as famous. Smile

Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 4:51 pm

Update: I asked the "Elder" to answer a few question to prove that he was on the level...

Quote:

Hello Elder Green

Thank you for your letter. I am in rather a quandary however as Mr Dankwambo is insisting that he alone can get my fund released and that it is you that is the impostor and that you are only pretending to be a Born Again believer in Christ Jesus.

Now I would like to believe that you are who you say you are because it will save me a great deal of trouble but I need to be sure that you are really a committed Christian who is Born Again and so unable to tell lies. After all Jesus said "Not all who call "Lord, Lord" will enter the kingdom of heaven."

So here is what I would like you to do. If you can answer these questions, with appropriate quotes from Scripture to back up your answers, then I will believe you and stop talking to Mr Dankwambo. I have told him that there will be a delay so I have not yet sent him the 2000 pounds for the Diplomat.

Here are the questions.

1) Can a man be saved by good works alone?

2) As a Christian, is it wrong to give charity to a Muslim?

3) When The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse come to Earth in the last days, will they still ride horses or would they have upgraded their means of transport (e.g. to a motorcycle or fighter jet aircraft)?

4) If a person was very sick with no hope of recovery would it be acceptable to speed up their death so that they could meet Jesus earlier?

5) If a Christian person loved their pet dog very much would it be wrong for them to have a relationship "as man and wife" with the dog? Would it make a difference if the person and dog were of the same sex?

6) When Jesus returns to Earth in the second coming, would he be ugly and have problem hair?

7) Should women be allowed to preach the Gospel?

Cool

Then Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." (Matthew 19:23-24) What does the Bible mean by this verse?

I look forward to your response.

In Jesus's name.

Ethel

You know, I'm not sure he picked up the Stranglers reference in Question 6.

Quote:

BROTHER .

CALVARY GREETINGS.SORRY I COULD NOT RESPONDED IMMEDIATELY BECAUSE I WAS IN THE CHURCH.
BY THEIR FRUIT WE SHALL NO KNOW THEM AND ALL THAT GLITTERS ARE NOT GOLD.
THAT GOD FORSAKING CRIMINAL CALLED DANKWAMBO IS THE IMPOSTOR OF THE FERDERAL MINISTY OF FINANCE BECAUSE VERY SOON THE JUDGEMENT OF GOD WILL COME UPON CRIMINAL DANKWAMBO IN JESUS NAME AMEN IF HE FAILS TO REPENT OF HIS SINS.
BROTHER ,IT WAS GOD THAT LEAD THOSE QUESTIONS IN YOUR HEART AND I AM VERY HAPPY. I GIVE GOD THE GLORY FOR ASKING ME THESE QUESTIONS. I THANK YOU ALOT.
ANSWERS TO YOUR QUESTIONS
1,CAPITAL NO. A MAN CANNOT BE SAVED BY HIS GOOD WORKS ALONE BECAUSE HIS GOOD WORKS ALONE CANNOT TAKE HIM TO HEAVEN EXCEPT HE OR SHE IS BORN-AGAIN. PLEASE CHECK IT UP IN THE BIBLE BOOK OF JOHN CHAPTER 3: VERSE 3 AND JOHN 3: 16.
2, AS A CHRISTIAN IT IS VERY RIGHT TO GIVE CHARITY TO EVERY RELIGIOUS DENOMINATIONS WHICH INCLUDES AS WELL MUSLIM RELIGION BECAUSE CHRIST SAID IN THE BOOK OF METHEW 5 VERSE 41- 48 WHICH SAYS LOVE YOUR ENEMIES AND EVEN THOSE THAT HATE AND CAUSE YOU.
3, IN THE BOOK OF REVELATION IF IN THE OLDEN DAYS THE MEANS OF TRANSPORT WERE HORSES AND CAMELS BUT NOW GOD HAS GIVEN MAN THE KNOWLEDGE OF MAKING CARS,PLANE AND SHIPS AS A MEANS OF TRANSPORT. I BELIEVED THAT IN THE LAST DAYS GOD WILL INVEST OTHER MEANS THAT WILL BE FASTER THAN WHAT WE HAVE NOW BECAUSE GOD IS THE OMINI SCIENCE GOD.
4, CAPITAL NO. IT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE TO SPEED UP THEIR DEATH BECAUSE THEY ARE SICK AND THEY DO NOT HAVE HOPE.
AND IF ANY DOES THAT KIND OF THING, THE PERSON HAS COMMITTED MURDER AND THE BIBLE MADE US TO UNDERSTAND THAT WE SHOULD NOT KILL . YOU CAN READ IT UP IN EXODUS 20 VERSE 13.
FURTHERMORE CHRIST SHALL BE PREACHED TO THE SICK PERSONS BECAUSE JOHN 3: 16 SAYS THAT FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD THAT HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON TO DIED SO THAT, HIS PRECIOUS BLOOD SHALL REDEEM MAN BEFORE GOD AND FREE MAN FROM THE HANDS OF THE DEVIL. CHRIST HAS PAY THE PRICE ON THE CROSS OF CALVARY. BY HIS STRIPE WE ARE HEALED AND HE IS GOD THAT HEALETH ALL.
5, IT IS VERY WRONG FOR A CHRISTIAN PERSON OR ANYONE TO HAVE A MAN AND WIFE RELATIONSHIP WITH A DOG PET. YOU CAN READ IT UP IN LEVITICUS CHAPETER 18 VERSE 23.
FURTHERMORE OUR BODY IS THE TEMPLE OF THE HOLY SPIRIT. THOU SHAL NOT DEFY IT WITH UNCLEAN THINGS.
6, WHEN JESUS CHRIST RETURNS TO EARTH IN THE SECOND COMING HE WILL NOT BE URGLY OR HAVE HAIR PROBLEM BECAUSE THE BIBLE MADE US TO UNDERSTAND THAT CHRIST IS THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD AND HE CAN NEVER CHANGE.
7, CAPITAL NO.WOMAN SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO PREACH THE GOSPEL. WOMEN ARE EXPECTED TO BE SUBMISSIVE AND REMAIN SILENT IN THE CHURCH. YOU CAN READ IT UP IN 1 CORRINTHIANS CHAPTER 14 VERSE 34-35.
FURTHERMORE DISREGARDS WHAT YOU SEE ON TELEVISIONS AND RADIO WOMEN PREACHING WHICH IS VERY WRONG BECAUSE THE HOLY BIBLE CANNOT LIE. THE WORD OF GOD IS YES AND AMEN.
8, WHAT THE BIBLE MEANT BY THIS VERSE WAS THAT IT IS WIDELY BELIEVED THAT SO MANY RICH MEN BUILT TREASURES ON EARTH AND THEREBY TURNING THEIR HEART AWAY FROM GOD AND THEY TAKE THE LOVE OF GOD AS AN EXCHANGE FOR LOVE OF MONEY WHICH IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVILS.
GOD LOVES YOU. BEWARE AND STOP DEALING WITH THAT CRIMINALS FOR THE SAKE CHRIST WHICH HAS USED ME TO ADVISE YOU TO HIS GLORY.
PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR DIRECT PHONE NUMBER FOR EASY COMMUNICATIONS.
GOD BLESS.
ELDER .

Awesome... the 4 horsemen will be in F16s or riding Harleys!

(edit - masked some names)

Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 5:16 pm

Otterfan wrote:

Beautiful!

Lad wrote:

BEWARE OF THE IDES OF MARCH.

Never .. who is this clown .. LOL

Next he'll be doing the "Freinds Romans Countrymen" speech .. or a good Richard III impression .. "this be the winter of our discontent" mwaaaa

Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 5:28 pm

PRAISE GOD,, more mis-qothes forsooth

Quote:

"BY THEIR FRUIT WE SHALL NO KNOW THEM"

- Matthew 7:16
We could let him off this one as he probably didn't know if he meant 'no' or 'know' so he took no chances and put both.

Quote:

AND ALL THAT GLITTERS ARE NOT GOLD

Sorry it's "All that glisters is not gold" - Merchant of Venice
That's a common mis-quote

I like the way he mixes the Bible and Shakespeare though. Damn his eyes, forsooth.
You should try the Shakespeare insult kit out on him http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/Shaker/
"Thou paunchy full-gorged fustilarian!"

Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 7:04 pm

Quote:

AND THEY TAKE THE LOVE OF GOD AS AN EXCHANGE FOR LOVE OF MONEY WHICH IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVILS.

My sarcastic side just passed out from laughing at the sheer irony of a scammer using that line... Rolling Eyes

Now whenever I think of the apocalypse, it'll look like a Meat Loaf video Shocked

Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 7:44 pm

Quote:

7, CAPITAL NO.WOMAN SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO PREACH THE GOSPEL. WOMEN ARE EXPECTED TO BE SUBMISSIVE AND REMAIN SILENT IN THE CHURCH. YOU CAN READ IT UP IN 1 CORRINTHIANS CHAPTER 14 VERSE 34-35.

Hmmm. I think its time he met a new character of mine.

Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 10:50 pm

wowwow wrote:

Next he'll be doing the "Freinds Romans Countrymen" speech .. or a good Henry V impression .. "this be the winter of our discontent" mwaaaa

"Now is the winter of our discontent" is Richard III:

Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this sun of York;
And all the clouds that lour'd upon our house
In the deep bosom of the ocean buried.
Now are our brows bound with victorious wreaths;
Our bruised arms hung up for monuments;
Our stern alarums changed to merry meetings,
Our dreadful marches to delightful measures.
Grim-visaged war hath smooth'd his wrinkled front;
And now, instead of mounting barded steeds
To fright the souls of fearful adversaries,
He capers nimbly in a lady's chamber
To the lascivious pleasing of a lute.

Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 11:34 pm

Technomancer wrote:

Now whenever I think of the apocalypse, it'll look like a Meat Loaf video Shocked

I think this is the best line yet. Laughing

Posted: Sat Feb 27, 2010 7:29 am

Quote:

Yastreb wrote:

wowwow wrote:

Next he'll be doing the "Freinds Romans Countrymen" speech .. or a good Henry V impression .. "this be the winter of our discontent" mwaaaa

"Now is the winter of our discontent" is Richard III:

Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this sun of York;
And all the clouds that lour'd upon our house
In the deep bosom of the ocean buried.
Now are our brows bound with victorious wreaths;
Our bruised arms hung up for monuments;
Our stern alarums changed to merry meetings,
Our dreadful marches to delightful measures.
Grim-visaged war hath smooth'd his wrinkled front;
And now, instead of mounting barded steeds
To fright the souls of fearful adversaries,
He capers nimbly in a lady's chamber
To the lascivious pleasing of a lute.

Lol, that bad is it that you have to post the whole thing. You know what I meant Wink

I edit post ashamed.

Posted: Sat Feb 27, 2010 9:06 am

Roycropper wrote:

Quote:

God will provide him with the MTCN, of course.

I like it! am thinking a lad should be told

"if you are indeed an honest man God will provide you with the MTCN"

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