M00seknuckle, NSFW!! safari/police custody

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Posted: Tue Feb 16, 2010 12:19 pm

Abraham hasn't got back to me, but the old Jack account is getting a little more action at the moment.

A Martins Cool contacted Jack and was very abrupt to begin with...

Lad wrote:

Hello If You Are Not Ready To Send The Through Western Union Transfer Dont emal me anymore again bye

So Jack had to reply with equal abruptness...

Jack wrote:

You don't tell me who or what I email, you loser. I can send an email to anyone I want, it's my right to do so.

I had high hopes when I saw your initial emails and I thought that you would go far in our business, but this sudden change in attitude is making me wonder if I misjudged you. But, I'm a generous man, and I'll give you another chance. Perhaps you were just having a bad day? I've attached the application form to this email. If you wish to be an agent for M00seknuckle Modeling, fill it in, return it to me, and we can start you on your path to great things with this company.

best,
Jack

Next day, after he's calmed down or the opportunity to get some easy money has sunk in...

Lad wrote:

Hello Jack smeh0fik
i was so sorry for the reply i send to you is because have find some model tha you need and you are not ready to pay me my agent fees thats is onfiar for me i can be runy around and i will be loser on the field is not possible for me to do that jack thinks of it i had 8 modeling for you 3male and 5 female where am i going to keep the am feeding them everyday in my own money , for your information if you want to send the money to me just send it via western union money transafer i dont have account were am i

Here is my address:Name Martins Cool
145 Rxxxxxx street
Nxxbxxxxx Road
XXXXl
XX9 2XX
Tel O77xxxxxxxx

Go And send my Agent fees Today amount Is $7,000:00

Wating for your good News Jack
Regard
Martins

EDIT: XXXed out the address, since it appears to be a real address with a business there.

Jack wrote:

Dear Martins Cool,

I am glad to have received your email and notice that you are sounding more reasonable and calm now. I was almost nearly offended by your last email where the insults were flying around. But I think I was right and I had caught you at a bad moment. We all have our episodes of weakness and I forgive you.

Before I can authorize sending any money to you, I need to have you registered as being an employee with the company. This is for our auditors, not for any legal reason. If you are an official employee, then any expenses I send to you will be viewed by the auditors as okay and acceptable. If I'm seen to be sending money to people who aren't a part of the company, I'll be brought before the shareholders' meeting and asked to explain myself. I hate doing that, so I'm making sure that this doesn't happen any more.

Please complete the form and return it, then we can register you as an official employee of M00seknuckle Modeling. This is the only way I can then send out the payments you require. I hope you understand my position and the need to do this. You're a reasonable man when you're calm, so I think you will understand.

regards,
Jack

Lad wrote:

Thanks Jack I will do that okay am going to feel the form and get back to you
Regard

Jack wrote:

Dear Martins,

Thank you. I will look forward to receiving your form and processing it so you can begin your career with us.

best,
Jack

Lad wrote:

Very Soon Jack Smeh0fik Am going to send the form to you and dont forget does mondeling i have arrenge for you 8 nmodel and dont forget my agent fees immediately i send the form to you

Oh yeah. Form on its way? I think it might be. There's life left in the old modality yet.

Posted: Tue Feb 16, 2010 1:47 pm

Matins C00l has been writing to RO for a while, some 10 emails, they are and were still arguing about the papers. Glad to see he´s being put to work at last.

Posted: Thu Feb 18, 2010 4:48 pm

"Work" and "Martins Cool" are things that, I think, will rarely be seen in the same room at the same time.

A few days after he promised to do the form and this is the progress so far...

Jack wrote:

Dear Martins Cool,

Do you have an idea how long it will before you can send the form back? I'm only asking so that I can make arrangements to get everything moving as quickly as possible. I'm not trying to hurry or force you, just want things to go smoothly for you.

best,
Jack

Jack wrote:

Dear Martins Cool,

It's been over a day since I heard from you. Are you having trouble completing the application form? If so, let me know and I might be able to help. If not, let me know what's happening. I don't want to waste any more time getting you started.

best,
Jack

Lad wrote:

Hello Jack am going to fill the form and send it to you today okay i was not around since todays back and i want to informed you immdediately i forward the form to you just send my agent fees paymentto me via western union today

Jack wrote:

Dear Martins Cool,

Thank you for getting back to me.

I will await your completed form and when it arrives I shall set the process going to get you the agents fees.

best,
Jack

Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 12:05 pm

Lad wrote:

okay thanks you jack smeh0fik immediately you recieve the form just send my money to me via western union money transfer i dont check?

bye soon am going to send you the form

Yeah, right. He promised to send the form to Jack three days ago.

Posted: Mon Feb 22, 2010 12:16 pm

This lad's been learning tricks and tips from baiters, I suspect...

Jack wrote:

Dear Martins Cool,

Thank you for giving me an update on your progress.

Yes, send the form as soon as you can (but make sure you complete it as much as possible), and only then can I authorize the payment to be released. Also, once we have received your application form, you can begin your employment with M00seknuckle Modeling properly.

best,
Jack

Lad wrote:

okay Jack Smeh0fik just give me some chance okay because i was very busy alwhile i was travel out of my country dont be worry am going to send it to you

Regard

Jack wrote:

Dear Martins Cool,

That's okay, take your time and submit the form whenever you are ready.

Even though I think you will be a good employee (your enthusiasm has impressed me already), the delays in sending the form are affecting you more than anyone else since this is what's holding everything up (your fees, your employment, your first paid assignment, and so on). It's really in your own best interest to get things started.

best,
Jack

The waiting continues...

... and it didn't continue for long when he replies.

Lad wrote:

Thanks Jack Smeh0fik am informed you again immediately i send the form to you this week just make sure you send all my agent fees trough western union transfer any were am i okay i want us to be understand each other am going to be your good agent any were any day and any second you need me just make you send the money via western union money transfer okay i dont want you to send my money to my account because i was n,t stay one place okay

waitinng to hear good news from you
Regard
Martins

Oh, Martins, Martins, Martins! Will I ever get that form???

Posted: Wed Feb 24, 2010 8:15 pm

Finally! Martins Cool comes through with his form.

And I must say that this is probably one of the best MM application forms I've seen. Some of his answers are great. Well, once you can work out his terrible hand-writing.

Lad wrote:

Hello Jack Smeh0fik

Here is The Name To Recieve the money..MARTINS COOL
Address.The royal standard of england
bridle1ane forty
green beac0ns field
bucks u.k
hp91xt
send or my agent fees to me today .$7000

(And what's with his address?)

So... are there any MMers still out there? Want to join in and help me hassle this (eventually) eager lad?

Posted: Wed Feb 24, 2010 8:18 pm

Cammy's ready to do her job for MM.

Posted: Wed Feb 24, 2010 8:36 pm

What was her usual role? You joined after I went on my, um, sabbatical.
Or maybe she was just whatever was required? I have a plan in mind that requires a human resources manager to look through Martins Cool's application and keep him busy there while Jack entertains him with other sources of quick cash.

Posted: Wed Feb 24, 2010 8:42 pm

Cammy is Agent and Model Development Coordinator - so I guess she could play any role.

Posted: Wed Feb 24, 2010 8:44 pm

@Otterfan:
Nice forms!
He is 39 years old, he became 'sexually secure' when he was 25 (which is 14 years ago). His oldest 2 kids are 15 and 20.
And what about that catwalk. Very Happy

Posted: Wed Feb 24, 2010 8:44 pm

Perfect! If you could PM me her email address, I'll start things rolling.

Tomorrow. I'll start things rolling tomorrow. Jack's not one to respond well to demands to pay people immediately.

Bolleboos: There are so many things to question with just about everything he's written! The heights of his kids worry me slightly. As does the fact that he's got type I and type II diabetes. And... oh, just too many!

Posted: Wed Feb 24, 2010 9:02 pm

Sure

I have always been replying new flesh half-heartedly all the time. And this one is pretty active with a few other baiters here. He is also continuing with his normal script on two other characters of mine.
I assume Martins just ticked boxes randomly...otherwise I think he deserves our pity.

Posted: Wed Feb 24, 2010 9:04 pm

I notice he claims to be pregnant.

Posted: Wed Feb 24, 2010 9:07 pm

Sooner or later he will come back to RO asking about the payment. Well, I have not received any forms Smile

this buys me time til Friday. Payment itself is something for the more feminine of MM´s, like Yastreb or Slaphappy Wink

haha.

Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 10:53 am

Jack wrote:

Dear Martins Cool,

What a surprise when I opened my mail and saw your completed form today! Thank you for sending it back. I will forward it to the Human Resources people here who will look through it and process your application. Once you are officially employed by M00seknuckle Modeling (which won't take long at all, you can be rest assured about this), I can authorize the release of the agent fees.

Check the CC of this email. I've included C@mmy White, who will be processing your application form. She's nice and she's very professional and good at her job. You'll have no problems there. She will contact you if there's anything extra she needs to know to put your form through our system. I don't think there'll be anything, but you never know. Look out for any mails from her, okay?

In the meantime, can I ask you about the models that you mentioned in your earlier emails? It concerns me that you might have been paying for their living expenses all this time. Is this the case? If so, let me know and I'll see what I can do. It will be a little bit unofficial, if you know what I mean, and I will have to stress that you keep it secret, but I should be able to help you with the costs of the food bills and so on that you're having to pay for the models you've recruited so far.

Anyway, let me know the situation there, and in the couple of days it will take to process your application (so that we can then release your agent fees), I'll see what I can do to help with whatever your situation is.

I know that you'll be a great addition to M00knuckle Modeling, Martins, and I'm very pleased that things are starting to move forward now.

best,
Jack

Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 11:33 am

Well, let's see...

Type 1 and Type II diabetes; typhoid; headaches... might be problems there - typhoid can recur and we need to be sure that his lifestyle isn't going to make the diabetes worse.
He didn't write his name in full on the last page.
The last time I saw that many limbs, including pseudopods, was in some hentai anime.
Weekly alcohol intake: "Yes".
Hours of sleep per night: 11 pm
Daily Calorie Intake: 5
What's the most he earned in one day - what the hell did he answer?

I forsee some diet plans in his future.

Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 11:42 am

Supplemental: his height is 7.5 cm and his weight is 68 kilos, yet he can run 100 km before tiring, and he eats just 5 calories a day.
He needs a better health plan... does MM have a medical officer or similar?

Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 1:26 pm

Hmm. Extra-typical lad behaviour in Martins Cool's reply this morning...

Lad wrote:

Hello Jack Smeh0fik i was sad when i open my email i did,nt see my money (control number MTCN) are you surte this is not fraud that you nare plan to do for me ,listen i dont want to watse my time or give my self are strees i think for reall or you lie to me Mr Man just let me no what i belong too . Listen for models i recruited i have spend more than $3,400:00 for them i mpay for accomodation breakfats dinner and lunching everyday so what hell is going to pay me back you no what i know i have be a professionanl okay if you are ready to pay all the money i caculate for you send me the money today or you forget that am going to be your agent because i dont weant to recieve any check from no person or money transfer in my account if you want to send the money just send it through western union money transfer okay

I am martin cool

waiting to hear from you
Regard
Martins

So, Jack tries to be gentle and reasonable while applying a slap...

Jack wrote:

Dear Martins Cool,

I thought that I had explained and that you had understood that I cannot authorize any payment in non-employees. You have to be registered as being an employee of M00seknuckle Modeling before I can send you the agent fees. This is why I insisted that you complete the form. If you are not an employee of MM and I hand out money to you, I will be in a very difficult situation, explaining my actions to the auditors, to the shareholders, and to the owners of the business. I would have a lot of explaining to do, why I was giving money out to just anyone. So, please, be a little patient and calm down. Things will move forward (they already are, since you've returned the form and I've passed it on to our Human Resources department). Once they look over the details and accept it, they will enter you officially as an employee of this company, and then I can release the money. I'm not putting my position at risk for a mere $7000.
I know this sounds harsh, but I didn't get to where I am today by being irresponsible and treating my duties without being serious about them.

As for the living costs of the models you have recruited, this is a personal favour that I am doing for you outside of M00seknuckle Modeling. I am willing to give you a contribution towards their living costs out of my own pocket and because I still think you are a decent man, even though you came across as sounding very demanding and unreasonable in your last email.

So... it's your choice. You can be impatient and demanding, and that will get you nowhere, I can guarantee it. In fact, there are some people here who, in my position, would have told you to go away as soon as they read your last email. I'm not like that and I can see that, underneath, you're a good man and I'm willing to carry on dealing with you. But I have limits, too, and if you insist on demanding money when you know that I won't risk my job to give it out yet, then you will soon reach those limits and I will have to stop corresponding with you.
However, we're not there yet, and I think that your outburst today was out of character, so I'm willing to continue writing to you.

Until the HR department come back and say that they've approved your application (which shouldn't be long), let's deal with the models' living expenses. If you can send me a receipt or something to show how much you've spent on them, I'll see if I can get something sorted out of my own pocket. This is a favour to you, Martins, so don't push things too far.

best,
Jack

Right now, I think he's not going to be too much fun, unless he has a total rethink and starts understanding the situation.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 4:19 pm

Did I hear the squeek of an otter? Hi, OF! Very Happy

This guy is a piece of (non) work, isn't he? Aren't they all, though? Most MM agents need repeated slappings to comply with the most basic requests. P@t Cr0kin, Executive Secretary, checking in. She should send him a nice welcome email, as she's always a nice one at first, but has a short fuse at times. I hope that returning from a nice long vacation hasn't shortened it. Smile

Posted: Sat Feb 27, 2010 9:28 pm

Cammy wrote to Mr Cool:

Quote:

I've looked over the forms and while I'm satisfied with most of the details you provided, there are some things to clear up. For one, you didn't fill out the last page properly, which is an important thing.
Your health is also a worry. I need some more details about your diabetes and the typhoid infection. To work for us is a privilege and your continuing health is our concern.

He was most anxious to reassure Cammy of his good health (emphasis added):

Quote:

thanks for asking me the last question i was feel good and alright with my i heal and be alrigth with my doctor , know am okay i dont have any diabetes typhoid infection in my heart any am %100 okay right know okay that why i feel the form you send to me and if you have any question dont hesitate to aks me thanks

Posted: Sun Feb 28, 2010 8:18 pm

Sent Coolio this:

Quote:

I'm afraid that you'll have to resubmit the last page of the form as you didn't sign it.
Also - under the circumstances I'll need a certificate from your doctor about your health. You may feel good but that's no guarantee in the long term and I'd like for you to have a long and fruitful career with M00seknuckle M0delling.
Thanx in advance

Posted: Mon Mar 01, 2010 7:43 pm

Hmm. Jack's heard nothing from him since last week and the "I'm so sad you didn't pay me!" email.

Posted: Wed Mar 03, 2010 8:14 pm

Coolio's cut and run, it seems:

Quote:

i dont am going to join your company anymore i dont intrest on it again cause you send a form to me and i feel it so what do you need again bye dont write me again

Cammy wrote back notwithstanding:

Quote:

You didn't complete the form - the last page wasn't signed.
If you don't wish to join that's your decision. I'm sorry you feel that way though.

Posted: Fri Mar 05, 2010 9:00 am

This from Coolio:

Quote:

okay i was so great thanks to hear that from you

I had to ask:

Quote:

OK, please explain where I said you were great.

Posted: Fri Mar 05, 2010 11:48 am

He hasn´t replied to any of my joker characters for some days now. I´ve just sent him a reminder.

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