Newbie Needing Advice: Should I drop this now?

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Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2010 12:21 pm

Hello All,
I am pretty sure I got scammed by a Nigerian con artist posing as an EHarmony user. Sadly, this was my first contact on Eharmony, and yesterday, within only a week on the site, EH sent me an email saying This member was terminated, but they did not say why. After browsing the internet and stumbling upon this site, I think he is Nigerian and stole a models pics and is passing them off as his own. His profile, behavior and pics fit many of the criteria descibed on this site. He told me he is a computer engineer that lives in FL but is in Nigeria finishing up a job for one of his clients. I have not given him any money or anythig like that. He does have pics of me and knows my name. I have not completely cut off contact with him, so he is ripe for baiting. Maybe I should just let this go since I do not know the first thing about baiting. I guess I took it for granted that Eharmony was a reputable site and that no one would pay money to join EH just to scam people. I feel a little stupid; I have been avoiding online dating and feel that I have been fooled on my first try. Anyway, any advice and comments you have would be much appreciated. Thanks

Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2010 12:57 pm

Welcome PreciousFire!

Yes, you have a typical scammer there. If you see Engineer and Nigeria in the same profile, don't even bother with it (unless you are looking to bait).

If he was tossed from EHarmony, chances are they discovered the credit card he signed up with was stolen (they generally are.) EHarmony and Match are actually loaded with scammers, just like virtually any other dating site. More often than not, scammers will sign up for free trials or using stolen credit cards. They will immediately message as many potential victims as they can, and attempt to get them off the site's messaging system and onto their personal email. This way when their trial expires or they are kicked off the site, they can take the victims with them.

We are strong advocates of safe baiting around here. We don't recommend continuing with any scammer who has any of your real life information--that means if he has your real name, address, a traceable phone number, photos, or has seen you on webcam, you should drop him. Just cut off all contact with no explanation. Block him from your messenger, ignore all future attempts on his part to re-engage you.

Baiting is a great way to learn how to recognize scammers quickly, though, so if it is interesting to you, I would encourage you to try your hand at it--but start fresh with a fake identity before doing so. (A fake profile on a site like 4ppl will bring the scammers straight to you.)

Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2010 2:02 pm

Quote:

I feel a little stupid;

Nothing stupid about that PreciousFire. You did the right thing and glad you found us. Wink

This is a good read:
http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=178765

We also have a thread for mentors here:
http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=122306

Come on in, cos we need more precious people. Wink

Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2010 9:00 pm

VERY smart to research him - glad you found this site Smile

Like others advised, cut off contact with him now -- you can create another profile & try to rebait him as a different character if you aren't too emotionally invested in him...

If you are emotionally attached, then stop all communication with him & try your hand at baiting another scammer...

It's a shame this was your first experience at online dating...

I have a friend who met his woman online, they talked about 9 months on IM, Cam, phone...and she flew in to meet him (no asking for money)...she never left -- lol -- they drove 1/2 way across the country to get her cars...

Personally, when I was single, I tried my hand at online dating and met some nice people who I became friends with...there was no romantic interest once I met them...

Good Luck Smile

Posted: Fri Feb 12, 2010 12:28 am

Hey, thanks for the responses. I cut off contact with the lad. I am now a bit more cautious about online dating, but I havent closed myself off completely. I friend of mine met her now husband on EHarmony so I know it works.

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