Tales from a desperate Housewife (Friend edition)

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Posted: Wed Feb 03, 2010 4:35 pm

In RL a friend got her email acount hacked into and suddenly all her firends got a "help me I'm stranded" email. Knowing full well this didn't happen I got angry and decided to introduce the ditz and her niece (Language warning):"

1st email:

from faux friend
to renee williamson <[email protected]> Now I left this for a reason. MY phone and internet are with Optus so I tried to report this. They checked, this account DOESN'T exist

I didn't inform you about my traveling to London for a program, I'm presently in London UK, and I'm having some difficulties here because i misplaced my wallet where my money and other valuable things were kept on my way to the hotel.

My passport and my things are been held down by the hotel management pending when i make payment. I will like you to assist me with a loan of $2.500, to sort-out my hotel bills and to get myself back home. I will appreciate whatever you can afford to assist me with, I'll refund the money as soon as i return, let me know if you
can be of any help? Please try and make it confidential.

I will appreciate and i will refund you as soon as i return home. Send the money to me Via Western Union Money Transfer nearest to you with my name:

(1) Name: <snipped>
(2) Address: 103 New Oxford Street, London WC1A 1DU.

I will receive the money at any Western Union in London UK, as soon as you send it.
After the payment send this information on the receipt to me:

(1)Money Transfer Control Number (MTCN) on the receipt.
(2)Senders Name used on the receipt.

I will rufund you all the money as soon as i come home without hesitation.

I appreciate.

faux friend.

My response

My dearest faux friend,

I am SO sorry to hear about your woes in London, to be honest I didn't even know you've gone. But as you'd be well aware, since I fled my violent ex husband Nick, I've been in hiding in Yalbraith, where is there is NO western union. I remind you Yalbraith is a small farming community in remote New South Wales, but money isn't a problem here, the problem is getting it to you urgently.

We've been friends for SO long, you were a bridesmaid at my wedding after all, I would never consider not sending you the cash...

I can do bank transfer with the aid of my darling niece Sabrina who knows about these things. What are your bank account details and I will get her to do an internet bank transfer for you straight away. She just has to drive up from Sydney that's all. I've rung her and she's on her way!!! Hang in there my dear dear friend!

Yours in Poppers,

Kathrin.

This email is sent to a yahoo account. It tells me their IP Addy is an Internet cafe in Victoria Island, Lagos, the SAME Internet cafe where I am also baiting another scammer with a different modality...

2nd email
From: faux friend
To: the ditz
Sent: Tue, 2 February, 2010 12:57:06 AM
Subject: RE: Very Urgent

I don't have access to my account here because i misplaced my document here, I will only go to my bank as soon as i return home and get back, If you can send the money to me through Western Union, I can go to any Western Union and receive the money, I am sure there will be a Western Union or you can call any of your friend and pay into his/her account to send the money to me at any Western Union point with the information below, I really want to get the money today because i am really stranded here.

I appreciate,

faux friend.

My response

Faux friend,

Now you're being churlish. You know the nearest Western Union would be in Sydney itself, which is Hundreds of miles away! Just give me the bank account details and I can have the cash for you straight away.

If you've forgotten what Yalbarith looks like (to be fair you were only here once), google map it. There is NOTHING here! The whole point was to get away from Nick, he'll never find me here. Get me those details my dear Susi and we'll get you back home to Australia

Yours in Poppers,

Kathrin

As you can see I'm trying for a bank account

3rd email

Please you have to help me out there is nothing i can do now, look for a way out, i can't have any access to my bank here.

Faux friend.

I tell her to get in touch with the Australian embassy, knowing full well she'll have an excuse

So ring them, I pasted their info from the website

Contact Information

Australian High Commission
Strand
London WC2B 4LA
(corner of the Aldwych and the Strand. Nearest Tube station: Temple)

Tel: 020 7379 4334; Fax: 020 7240 5333

And when you get back we'll spend a few days drinking way too much bubbly

Of COURSE she has an excuse!

Your can't really understand the situation, 1) there is no money to make any call, 2) the hotel can't allow me to go out due to the hotel bill, 3) I am seriously sick right now due to this situation, all i need is your help, send the money to me and i will find my way home, I promise to return all the money to you as soon as i return home soon.

Hope to hear from you soonest..

Faux friend.

By now am starting to realise he/she will drop me if I keep on this course:

I am sorry, Faux friend.

It's not that I am angry with you. I am very upset about all of this and want to help. It's almost as if you DON'T want me to help you. I know you have a bank account and a new card can be issued easily.

But since you seem almost hellbent on using Western Union, I will persist in asking Sabrina to help you out. As you know, she's studying at Sydney University and should be a LOT closer to any western Unions in the inner city than I am in the outback

Kathrin

Faux friend sends this back:

I really understand what you saying, but it's not easy to move out from here, there is a Wester Union store at the hotel, The process of recovering the document here will cost me a lot because i need to offer a report papers, i have exceeded my spending at the hotel, I just want to return home soonest because of this situation, ask Sabrina to help me out, you can send the money to Sabrina account, Sabrina can receive the money and forward to me at any Western Union store, I will be happy to receive the information to receive the money on your next email, i appreciate.

Susi.

Fake aunt sends this to fake niece:

My darling' Brina

I know you and Susi do not get along, but please just this once try to help her

Kathrin

Fake niece replies cc'ing faux friend:

Oh okay Aunty, just for you ,

But she will have to make an apology to me for accusing me of sleeping with her husband first! The guy was making moves on ME like a total sleazebag in your house and she accuses ME of putting the moves on!!!

Meh! If she does, it's a five minute walk to WU at Uni. If not, there she go get fucked! THAT simple,

'Brina

Faux friend replies with this:

Hi Brina,

Forgive me, It is important for both of us to have a good relationship, What ever wrongs i have done to you or said against you forgive and forget it okay. We need each other in what ever we do in this world okay. Send the money to me. I will refund you as soon as i return. I appreciate.

Faux friend.

And being the spiteful piece of turd I actually am I shoot off THIS little piece of venom:

faux friend,

I'm pleased that you've FINALLY realised I didn't sleep with your husband! For fuck's sake I was only 15 when it happened! You really should have known better! It hurt me a lot that you think of me as a tart who tries to steal people's husbands away, and then you called ME a fucking bitch!!! I'm almost tempted to say fuck you, you turd, just because of all this, but I love my Aunt dearly and that made me decide to at least consider your request. Besides Western Union is shut now

Anyhoo, I've cc'd Kathrin to keep her in the loop of what's happening (I keep no secrets from my darling Aunt)

As for the cash I'll think about it tonight and IF I agree to go to Western Union, then I'll send a scan of the receipt to Kathrin for forwarding to you.

I am NOT happy about this and I only do it for my Aunt and NOT for you!

And for the record, ONLY my friends call me 'Brina, YOU have to use my full name Sabrina.

Just remember, you need this more than I do

Sabrina

And finally I get this back:

Hi Sabrina,

I am sorry for what ever i said against you, I was angry by then, Don't keep it in your heart any more okay, forgive me and forget it okay, I love you from my heart, and let this situation be resolved okay, Nothing will separate us, I love you and i appreciate your interest in my situation, Hope to hear from you soon.

faux friend.

RL friend can't quite stomach reading this, but appreciates the sentiment. I will keep going for as long as I can. She's the second friend I have who's had this happen to them, and I'm trying not to overplay my hand this time. I will keep everyone posted

chrys

Posted: Wed Feb 03, 2010 4:43 pm

Wow.... that's just one sick piece of scammah... this kind of scam I hate the most, because it's the easiest to fall in through...

Good luck with yo bait.

Posted: Wed Feb 03, 2010 4:50 pm

thank you Mortal.

She's the second colleague this has happened to. As I said, I overplayed my hand with the first, pretending to the guy's ex wife and a member of the Australian federal police.

This one I've decided will jump through as many hoops as I can arrange.

Love the avatar btw, though Rick James proved you CAN touch this... by suing!

Posted: Wed Feb 03, 2010 4:53 pm

Oh yeah,

In my home "Hammertime" is a euphemism for getting drunk! Wink

Juan's stalker Joined: 28 Aug 2008 Posts: 1423

I'm so sorry this has happened to your friend internationalchrysis. Sad

I hope all the friends on her list were contacted and made aware of this piece of crap pretending to be Susi.

Posted: Wed Feb 03, 2010 5:31 pm

internationalchrysis wrote:

Love the avatar

Thanks, i love it too Smile

As I already said, good luck Smile

Posted: Thu Feb 04, 2010 5:49 am

Well most of them Sad

Some were weird Canadian friends she hadn't heard for ages. Chances are she won't get those contacts back, despite my getting in touch with microshit email support and telling them her account's been hacked. But also hopefully because they haven't heard from her in ages they may not understand what's going and simply ignore it. That's my hope.

The other friend this happened to was in a wheelchair, so the chances of him "travelling to Nigeria for a conference" was always pretty slim. At least THA one stood out and no-one bought it.

Chrys

Posted: Thu Feb 04, 2010 5:51 am

So Faux friend has ditched the ditz and decided to deal solely with Sabrina. She'll soon wish she hadn't:

Hi Sabrina,
I am still waiting to receive the money from you okay, One love.

Susi.

I'm in a mood to vent

Update: She's written to the ditz as well

Posted: Thu Feb 04, 2010 5:52 am

She sent this to Kathrin:

I still want to hear from you, Hope there is no problem?
Hope to hear from you.

Susi.

I think it's time for helena to raise her sick head again

Posted: Thu Feb 04, 2010 6:09 am

Good old Helena, who for some reason never seems to have long to live:

My dear Faux friend,

I'm afraid there is problems at this end. Sabrina's mother (and my sister) Helena has had to undergo emergency surgery. as you know, Helena contracted a case of Infected Madagascar back in 2003, and as you are aware it is 100% fatal, with a life expectancy of about three years.

Helena has lived twice as long, but her health has been steadily deteriorating, and at 4am this morning was taken by ambulance to hospital for emergency Cranial rectal inversion surgery.

It is a very delicate operation and many things can go wrong, and if they do Helena will die. I feel so helpless here in Yalbraith dear Faux friend. Sabrina had been looking after her mother for many years after the deal of her father in mysterious circumstances back in 1996, and consequently is beside herself with grief and fear of losing a loved one.

I know you never met Helena, but Sabrina and I are both very close to her, especially after Helena became ill. I of course want to drop everything and drive to Sydney, but Sabrina suggested I not due to the bad weather conditions and length of drive.

I will keep you posted

Posted: Thu Feb 04, 2010 8:39 pm

Quote:

I am still waiting to receive the money from you okay, One love.

One love=lad speak. I've never seen that phrase except from lads. Is it in use anywhere else?

Posted: Thu Feb 04, 2010 8:57 pm

^It might be among the Bob Marleys of this world Wink

The same goes for 'okay', they just interject it everywhere in their sentences and it's a nice marker for mails written by off-script lads Wink

(especially by those trying to resolve a conflict)

ETA: For example:

Quote:

I am sorry for what ever i said against you, I was angry by then, Don't keep it in your heart any more okay, forgive me and forget it okay, I love you from my heart, and let this situation be resolved okay, Nothing will separate us, I love you and i appreciate your interest in my situation, Hope to hear from you soon.

Posted: Fri Feb 05, 2010 4:54 am

Oh I knew that this was a lad. I deliberately wrote to lad from my ditzy housewife solely to get lad to write to me. The IP address tracks to the same internet cafe is writing from.

Posted: Fri Feb 05, 2010 5:02 am

So Faux friend writes back. even after telling her that my firend is in hospital all I get is another request for money:

From: Faux friend <[email protected]>
To: the ditz
Sent: Thu, 4 February, 2010 5:47:44 PM
Subject: RE: Very Urgent

Okay, I am also sick right now due to the situation of things now, You know,i have this money in my account but i can't access it from here, tell Sabrina to send the money to me as she said and i will come home tomorrow and give her back or you can transfer the money to Sabrina account to get send to at any Western Union and i will pay you back as soon as i reaturn, which ever way you can do it i will appreciate it.

Susi.

Time to let her know Helena has passed away (again):

My dear Faux friend,

Helena has died, as I mention cranial rectal inversion surgery is an extremely complex procedure that can take up to 36 hours. At the eight hour mark, something went wrong and Helena passed away at 6.13am this morning.

I am leaving for Sydney to help Sabrina arrange the funeral. I will deal with this later as I am too distraught to deal with anything right now. I will check again later when I arrive in Sydney.

Yours in poppers

Kathrin

"Sie sind ein Lügner, Sie Stück Scheiße"

Posted: Fri Feb 05, 2010 5:09 am

So, Sabrina got this a while back and didn't answer until now. As usual when Sabrina is involved, LANGUAGE WARNING

I still want hear from you, Hope there is no problem? Send the money to me, I will send it to you back as soon as i return home.

Hop to hear from you.

Faux friend.

Sabrina decides to vent (mostly 'cos in RL I've had a shit day with my boss, but meh!):

faux friend,

My mother has DIED and you hope there's no problem??? What kind of fucking cow are you??? I know my Aunt has kept in touch, so I know you know what is happening. I am loathe to even talk to you, 'cos you seem like SUCH a fucking heartless BITCH!

I am off to work on funeral plans now, you can wait. And if you don't like that you can simply get FUCKED!

'Brina

Posted: Fri Feb 05, 2010 6:39 am

I'm thinking the above email really pissed off Faux Friend... She's just resent the original scam email to real friend's contact list. am hoping no-one bites, I still have a world of hurt planned...

Posted: Fri Feb 05, 2010 6:46 am

Kathrin is shocked by a phone call (that in RL was never made) from Sabrina:

[carrot]

My dear Faux friend,

What did you say to Sabrina? She seems terribly upset and I haven't even left the house yet. You need her to do this western union thing you keep asking about as I have no idea how it works.

She was screaming obscenities about you down the phone. I could barely make out what she was saying she was so agitated. I will talk to her upon my arrival in Sydney and see if I can calm her down.

Yours in Poppers,

Kathrin
[/carrot]

Posted: Sat Feb 06, 2010 1:40 am

curlyearl wrote:

Quote:

I am still waiting to receive the money from you okay, One love.

One love=lad speak. I've never seen that phrase except from lads. Is it in use anywhere else?

My crazy ex-wife used it with me ... right before she emptied out my accounts. Huh ... go figure? Twisted Evil

Posted: Sat Feb 06, 2010 6:30 am

Nice baiting.... Wink

Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 4:14 am

My RL friend sent me this today. I'd better see if I'm still dumped by faux friend:

Hi Chrys,

I finally heard from Microsoft and yesterday, was able to access my email a/c. I changed the password to a strong one and the secret question and answer and, would you believe it, he's stolen it again!

Luckily I answered the urgent emails and copied out my contact list. Now I've asked Microsoft to close it down as I don't want that horrible person still having access to it. In the meantime, I do hope he doesn't send out any more emails to my contacts, some of whom are starting to get very peeved about it.

Hope you're still having some fun with hacker hassling!

Cheers,

Real friend

Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 4:17 am

I sent out a teaser:

I'm guessing you got your finances sorted out since I haven't heard from you. When you get back shall we catch up for drinkies???

Yours in poppers,

Kathrin

Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 10:53 pm

So desperate to keep the bait alive and also discover if faux friend still has control of the account, I wrote as Bob Arctor:

My god, Susi,

That's awful! I'd love to help you but as you know I've just been transferred to Warraber Island for work. There is no western Union here, it's a very small island, even my internet connection is satellite based (When it works). What else can I do to transfer some funds??? If I have to go to western Union, it'll be another three months before I return to Sydney.

Bob

Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 10:55 pm

Yep, she still has the account. She sends this back:

Hi Bob.

You can visit the Western Union on line and send the money to me, i will pay you back as soon as i return, Visit WU's website you will pay on line and send details to me, MTCN number and Sender's Name.

Bob i really appreciate your concern about me.

Faux friend.

Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 11:03 pm

after telling faux friend I'd get onto it asap, of COURSE there's a problem with signing up for WU. After a quick visit to the Star trek failure generator, I send back what the problem is:

My dear faux friend,

I have been having a few problems with Western Union. I tried to sign up (as you know I haven't been a member of almost anything since I was the victim of credit card fraud a few months ago), and got all sorts of error messages.

Firstly there was Interference in the trellium-D photon replicator! which I duly repaired via me Calibrating the trilithium propulsion with level-1 generation! And as I tried to enter the credit card details I had Fluctuations in the quartz phaser coils! As an IT person yourself, do you think I should Control the defence polygraph scan with progressive plate???

I've rung Western Union via my satellite phone, and they suggested that I Align the metadefensive photon capacitors with linear transporter chamber! This doesn't sound right to me as I think it might cause Failure in the paraphased containment field! which would cause the whole website to collapse and possibly hijack my credit card details.

What do you think? Can you speak to the people at your end? You were there to discuss Anomalies detected in the tritium discriminator in HTML and XHTML web design after all.

Get back to me,

Bob

At least he's "trying" to help Wink

Posted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 12:09 am

Pure gold Int'lchrysis. Excellent work.

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