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mr.scissorkick
Elite Baiter
Joined: 03 Feb 2009
Posts: 1973
Location: 50.299209,-3.650293
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Posted:
Thu Jan 28, 2010 9:51 pm |
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I picked up an oil lad in my spare time, having never been with one before. It has been a real treat. I can't remember the details of his offer, other than he wants to sell crude oil primarily through unsolicited emails. I decided to reward his ingenuity and salesmanship.
Like my first and personal favorite bait he seems in no hurry to ask me for money. These lads are like an albino gorilla. They are so freakish yet ordinary.
I agreed, after my usual strange and utterly lad confusing price negotiations, to buy a bunch of barrels of his crude yet useful product. I expected to get customary lad instructions for payment. Instead, I get this pleasant little surprise in my inbox:
Quote: |
Do you have a vessel?
we can start export of the crude at once, first we get liescence for the export from government, we need and attorney . |
That was all it said. Not even a "remain bless" or anything to wrap it up succinctly.
This is where you, my fellow baitericans, come in. When I read this, too many ridiculous ideas flitted through my brain, and I was left exhausted of a reply that I felt confident in.
I am open to your suggestions. |
_________________ -MY DEAR SIR STOP THIS BULL SHIRT WHO IS MR.GOMER? ~Pual Williams
-This is why your wife divorced you! ~Melveille Turner (Hawaiian Punch)
x 67
x 34 (Hi, kids!)
Accra-Lagos = "you made me and my people to wiat at the air port for nothing sake.and pay for hotel resavetion its not sound." -John Asamoha
Hon. Martins 16 Jan 2009 - 7 May 2011
Reap / Sow |
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Vampiremerchant
Baiting Guru
Joined: 01 Nov 2009
Posts: 3227
Location: Scotland
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Posted:
Thu Jan 28, 2010 10:23 pm |
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well for a vessel the good ship Vital Spark will do the trick mind you getting to the loading port is going to take a long time !
Then you have to find the right kind of pirates to man the vessel as such you are advertising locally (that will take more time)
Captain Pugwash is not available for a couple of months due to his TV commitments ! |
_________________ * Help Keep Eater Running - Click here to donate
x 35
x 100
(with thanks to Nigel Tuffnel)
My dear Brother , if I have to you to scam you, May the WROGHT of GOD be upon me and my generation |
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Bolleboos
Elite Baiter
Joined: 07 Sep 2009
Posts: 1000
Location: Paises Bajos
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Posted:
Thu Jan 28, 2010 10:24 pm |
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I bet you do in fact have a vessel. As a matter of fact, it is equipped with a GPS tracker.
Edit: +1 for pirates. |
_________________ x 13
<-- Ger@ld J0nes aka Remittanceboi, MG security forms, thanks NN!
<-- Emanuel WIMPed from Lagos to Ghana (provided phone help on Bruin's lad)
Miss Ariana Hani: "it seem your balls contains up to 6 eggs that i should destroy with a baseball stick and weep your spinal code so you die"
Mandaline Randy: "i gave you my heart body mind and soul but you did not value it imagine if you were me how would you feel beby its pain ful i was just rooming in the money gram as if am a mad girl while you knows my condition its unfear" |
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hoorah
Master Baiter
Joined: 14 Feb 2009
Posts: 209
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Posted:
Thu Jan 28, 2010 10:29 pm |
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No, you don't have a vessel. He needs to find one, take pictures, find out how much it can carry, etc.
He's probably just smart enough to add a little extra to his scam. I'm sure at some point he'll drop the western union requirement and all of the side issues will be "fine, trust me, remain bless" |
_________________ x6
Anything what doing is what doing well. - Paul Wilson
Thanks from Ur wife to be soon - Rev. Duke |
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Nero419
Master Baiter
Joined: 11 Jan 2010
Posts: 236
Location: Planet Earth
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Posted:
Thu Jan 28, 2010 10:35 pm |
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mr.scissorkick
Elite Baiter
Joined: 03 Feb 2009
Posts: 1973
Location: 50.299209,-3.650293
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Posted:
Thu Jan 28, 2010 10:37 pm |
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@Nero: I love the potential lad confusion. |
_________________ -MY DEAR SIR STOP THIS BULL SHIRT WHO IS MR.GOMER? ~Pual Williams
-This is why your wife divorced you! ~Melveille Turner (Hawaiian Punch)
x 67
x 34 (Hi, kids!)
Accra-Lagos = "you made me and my people to wiat at the air port for nothing sake.and pay for hotel resavetion its not sound." -John Asamoha
Hon. Martins 16 Jan 2009 - 7 May 2011
Reap / Sow |
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internationalchrysis
Baiting Guru
Joined: 19 Aug 2008
Posts: 3793
Location: Romancing the (Blood from a) stone!
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Posted:
Thu Jan 28, 2010 11:42 pm |
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I was checking the vessel tracker when it suddnely displayed the "Muuga" There's your ship right there:
http://www.vesseltracker.com/en/Ships/Muuga-9103738.html
Just a thought |
_________________ Proud "member" of "The Todger Club"!
x1 (Senegal to Gambia)
"You can go now and f*ck yourself with a donkey or horse because you really need to be f*cked by a donkey or horse"
(George Michael's brother Frank/Frannypoo)
"You are a dead meat!"
(Léon the (Not so) Professional)
(19 in total:
x2 Léon the (not so) Professional. x4 Via Swindler's list. x4 Via Will and Grace the Law Firm. x3 *Hitman, x1 Hitman: The sequel!, , x1 Haiti scam, x1 The Bimbo (via Umbongo Chambers),
x1 Rita the ETA eater, x1 Via Team Doughnut, x1 Via Prince Emaka, x4 via the Nazis) |
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sam vimes
Not quite a Newb
Joined: 18 Sep 2009
Posts: 52
Location: in my own little world.
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Posted:
Fri Jan 29, 2010 1:13 am |
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dont forget to see if seaman stains,master bates & rogering the cabin boy are free to crew your ship. |
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manbiteslion
Baiting Guru
Joined: 12 Dec 2007
Posts: 4816
Location: Connecting my chair and keyboard
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Posted:
Fri Jan 29, 2010 1:29 am |
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Nero419
Master Baiter
Joined: 11 Jan 2010
Posts: 236
Location: Planet Earth
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Posted:
Fri Jan 29, 2010 1:53 am |
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Quote: |
I love the potential lad confusion |
Well I like to see where he comes up with when you "actually" arrange a vessel. |
_________________ => Oliver WIMPED Lagos, Nigeria => Cotonou, Benin (212km, 132mi round trip)
=> John WIMPED Lagos, Nigeria => Cotonou, Benin (212km, 132mi round trip)
"Search and Rescue Thread" <<<=== With Success!
x 7 x4
* Help Keep Eater Running - Click here to donate |
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ThankingArthur
419Eater is my life
Joined: 04 Oct 2009
Posts: 357
Location: The Golden Tulip Hotel
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Posted:
Fri Jan 29, 2010 3:47 pm |
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Better yet, "borrow" a vessel |
_________________ Morgan: Accra, Ghana to Lomé, Togo and Back. (~370km total) "it was hurt i paid hotel bills and also rented a car to pick Sarah up at the airport it was so hurt i spent money to go down to Lome"
12x Oink.
i promise you .you shall pay for this -Another satisfied customer |
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hoorah
Master Baiter
Joined: 14 Feb 2009
Posts: 209
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Posted:
Fri Jan 29, 2010 4:08 pm |
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A bit of background info - the port in Lagos is actually pretty well known for pirates and hijackings. Getting your lad to do a little wandering around the port may end up getting his arrested |
_________________ x6
Anything what doing is what doing well. - Paul Wilson
Thanks from Ur wife to be soon - Rev. Duke |
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Connie L. Gus
Moderator
Joined: 07 Oct 2005
Posts: 7243
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
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Posted:
Fri Jan 29, 2010 4:30 pm |
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What about the SS Minnow? |
_________________ x8
LISTEN TO ME WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR ONE OF THOSE CHEAP CROOK OR WHAT -tobi donito
-a few,
LISTEN I CAN NOT TAKE YOUR SHIT ANY LONGER WE HAVE WHROTE A PETITION AGAINST YOU TO THE FBI WITH ALL OUR EVIDENCE YOU ARE INTO PROSTITUTION,DRUG DEALING, FORGERY, CREDIT CARDS FORGRY WESTEN UNION FALSIFICATION,DRUGING MEN,COMMETING MURDER, STEALING, DRUNCARD, ALL THIS WE HAVE THE EVIDENCE TO PROOF OUR CASE AGAINST YOU.-Johnson Hill
I am not finding it any funny...Henry A., Lagos, Nigeria to Cotonou, Benin, WIMPed
I am stranderd. Henry A. Lagos to Accra, WIMPed for 67 days.
* Help Keep Eater Running - Click here to donate |
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mr.scissorkick
Elite Baiter
Joined: 03 Feb 2009
Posts: 1973
Location: 50.299209,-3.650293
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Posted:
Fri Jan 29, 2010 5:19 pm |
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Thanks all.
I just reread his email. Thinking of all the ways to use his request for a vessel I barely noticed his last statement:
Quote: |
we need and attorney . |
I guess he is just taking the logical route.
It is, after all, safe to assume that Americans usually have ships to carry massive amounts of crude oil across the Atlantic, but never seem to have a lawyer handy.
I think I'll try to use YeaWhatever's tracking system to possibly lure the lad onto the high seas. It's worth a try anyway. |
_________________ -MY DEAR SIR STOP THIS BULL SHIRT WHO IS MR.GOMER? ~Pual Williams
-This is why your wife divorced you! ~Melveille Turner (Hawaiian Punch)
x 67
x 34 (Hi, kids!)
Accra-Lagos = "you made me and my people to wiat at the air port for nothing sake.and pay for hotel resavetion its not sound." -John Asamoha
Hon. Martins 16 Jan 2009 - 7 May 2011
Reap / Sow |
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Nero419
Master Baiter
Joined: 11 Jan 2010
Posts: 236
Location: Planet Earth
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Posted:
Fri Jan 29, 2010 7:19 pm |
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Maybe someone can reply to him as shipping agent? And no, I never heard that you need a attorney to arrange a ship |
_________________ => Oliver WIMPED Lagos, Nigeria => Cotonou, Benin (212km, 132mi round trip)
=> John WIMPED Lagos, Nigeria => Cotonou, Benin (212km, 132mi round trip)
"Search and Rescue Thread" <<<=== With Success!
x 7 x4
* Help Keep Eater Running - Click here to donate |
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Fowan Nyne
Baiting Guru
Joined: 12 Aug 2009
Posts: 3720
Location: Miniluv
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Posted:
Sat Jan 30, 2010 10:05 pm |
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Well, he's going down the barrister route...
One word springs to mind with the ship; Somalia!
Could have some fun there. |
_________________
I can't wait for 'Eater Easter!
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