A little help dealing with my little crude dude.

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Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 9:51 pm

I picked up an oil lad in my spare time, having never been with one before. It has been a real treat. I can't remember the details of his offer, other than he wants to sell crude oil primarily through unsolicited emails. I decided to reward his ingenuity and salesmanship.

Like my first and personal favorite bait he seems in no hurry to ask me for money. These lads are like an albino gorilla. They are so freakish yet ordinary.

I agreed, after my usual strange and utterly lad confusing price negotiations, to buy a bunch of barrels of his crude yet useful product. I expected to get customary lad instructions for payment. Instead, I get this pleasant little surprise in my inbox:

Quote:

Do you have a vessel?
we can start export of the crude at once, first we get liescence for the export from government, we need and attorney .

That was all it said. Not even a "remain bless" or anything to wrap it up succinctly.

This is where you, my fellow baitericans, come in. When I read this, too many ridiculous ideas flitted through my brain, and I was left exhausted of a reply that I felt confident in.
I am open to your suggestions.

Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 10:23 pm

well for a vessel the good ship Vital Spark will do the trick mind you getting to the loading port is going to take a long time !

Then you have to find the right kind of pirates to man the vessel as such you are advertising locally (that will take more time)
Captain Pugwash is not available for a couple of months due to his TV commitments !

Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 10:24 pm

I bet you do in fact have a vessel. As a matter of fact, it is equipped with a GPS tracker.

Edit: +1 for pirates.

Master Baiter Joined: 14 Feb 2009 Posts: 209

No, you don't have a vessel. He needs to find one, take pictures, find out how much it can carry, etc.

He's probably just smart enough to add a little extra to his scam. I'm sure at some point he'll drop the western union requirement and all of the side issues will be "fine, trust me, remain bless"

Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 10:35 pm

http://www.marinetraffic.com
http://www.vesseltracker.com
Search for a ship, change it and make it a ghost ship?

I'm working in the maritime sector, so maybe if you need some specific details I could help.

Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 10:37 pm

@Nero: I love the potential lad confusion.

Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 11:42 pm

I was checking the vessel tracker when it suddnely displayed the "Muuga" There's your ship right there:

http://www.vesseltracker.com/en/Ships/Muuga-9103738.html

Just a thought

Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 1:13 am

dont forget to see if seaman stains,master bates & rogering the cabin boy are free to crew your ship. Wink

Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 1:29 am

Titan Uranus

http://www.icis.com/blogs/icis-chemicals-confidential/files/2008/11/shipping-news-titan-uranus.html

You just have to. And I don't mean pronouncing it the American way "yurrannus" either.

Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 1:53 am

Quote:

I love the potential lad confusion

Well I like to see where he comes up with when you "actually" arrange a vessel.

Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 3:47 pm

Better yet, "borrow" a vessel Laughing

Master Baiter Joined: 14 Feb 2009 Posts: 209

A bit of background info - the port in Lagos is actually pretty well known for pirates and hijackings. Getting your lad to do a little wandering around the port may end up getting his arrested Smile

Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 4:30 pm

What about the SS Minnow?

Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 5:19 pm

Thanks all.
I just reread his email. Thinking of all the ways to use his request for a vessel I barely noticed his last statement:

Quote:

we need and attorney .

I guess he is just taking the logical route.

It is, after all, safe to assume that Americans usually have ships to carry massive amounts of crude oil across the Atlantic, but never seem to have a lawyer handy.

I think I'll try to use YeaWhatever's tracking system to possibly lure the lad onto the high seas. It's worth a try anyway.

Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 7:19 pm

Maybe someone can reply to him as shipping agent? And no, I never heard that you need a attorney to arrange a ship Shocked

Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 10:05 pm

Well, he's going down the barrister route...
One word springs to mind with the ship; Somalia!
Could have some fun there. Very Happy

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