"Tales from a DH" Language/ongoing/safari now on

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Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 4:12 am

And with 5imba in mind, I send the rume this:

My dearest Rumi,

I haven't been in South Africa for weeks now. I am so relieved to hear from you, in fact you have no idea how relieved... (Well, not so much relived as amazed, but I digress) I managed to hire a four wheel drive and travelled to Nigeria, only to discover that I do not have your address. I arrived in Nigeria about six days later and drove around Lagos for about a week looking for you, but I couldn't find you.

When I first arrived I was staying at the Sheraton Hotel near the Airport. I was in tears driving through what is in fact a very large city with no idea on where to look for you the whole time I was there and to be honest I did contemplate returning to Australia. But on the 11th day, I met a fellow traveller who was going to a tourist spot I'd never heard of, the 5imba 5af@ri C@mp. And since there was no sign of you, I decided to travel with them. And yes, the math isn't quite right, but, meh)

And I am so glad I did. I am now in the Paradise you described, with no desire to leave whatsoever. I have never felt this relaxed, I do not have a care in the world. The staff here are extremely efficient and even manage to get me my medications shipped to me. If I am to die while fighting cancer, then this is where I want to pass on. I will never leave this glorious country.

My dearest Rumi, if you are not anywhere near Pendj@ri state in Benin then you need to get here straight away! And again, please do not tell that Sabrina woman about this. I have seen her logged into this account (looking for information about me I think), and so I change the password now on an hourly basis.

Please my dear dear Rumi, join me here at 5imba, you'll be so glad you did.

Kathrin

Let's see if he bites

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 4:16 am

Of course I realise I haven't given him any clues yet, I'll wait a bit before sending the website link

Posted: Mon Dec 07, 2009 12:38 am

This bait is now pretty much dead in the water. I accidentally sent the wrong email to this scammer instead of the mass bait scammer Wilbur wright setup in the main forum.

If it can be salvaged I will, but I wouldn't get your hopes up

Though I've said before about this thread: "It was fun while it lasted" only to have it spring up again. So I guess stranger things have happened. The moral of the story I shouldn't bait on 2 and a half hours sleep.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 06 Jun 2009 Posts: 78

Oh my god! Well done! That was bloody brilliant! I hope he replies.

Posted: Mon Jan 11, 2010 2:52 am

OH MY EFFING GOD!!! I can't believe this. After everything I put him through AND sending an abusive email to him INSTEAD of the wilbur wright mass bait... HE'S JUST WROTE BACK!:

My dearest Kathrin,
Am so sorry for abandoning you all this while. please kindly accept my apologies, somehow my password was changed and i had problems logging into my email account.

I am wonderfully delighted to be able to access this account again. i really missed reading from you and as a mattter of fact today shall mark tthe happiest day of my life.

How have you been doing? i read in your email that you atre still in town, and as i write you this email the one thing on my mind is to be with ytou where ever you are, am so pleased to know that you are still in my country and that you are enjoying your self. i missed you so much my Kathrin and i want to be with you now. I want to hold you and kiss you so much like i have always longed for.

i would like you to ring me on this number as soon as you read this email. am presently in Nigeria and you can reach me on +234 80 2828 0719. i will be with you anywhere you are as soon as you let me know your location. once again my phone number is +234 80 2828 0719.i shall be waiting to read from you as there is still so much thing to enjoy together. I love you my sweet sweet kathrin and i wish we were together. i just bought a new car so you and i can ride in it all day as i will trip you around all the beautiful places in Nigeria.

I love you my Kathrin and i want you to write me as soon as possible. life has been boring without you. i love you with all my heart.

Rumi.

I wonder if he's willing to travel to 5imba yet??? Wink

Posted: Mon Jan 11, 2010 3:18 am

I decide to find out if he's willing to travel:

My dearest Rumi,

It is wonderful to hear from you after all this time. I am sorry to hear about your internet problems. I do not access the internet so much since I arrived at 5imba 5afari c@mps late last year. I am still in the 5imba 5afari c@mp in Pendjari in Benin and quite frankly I don't think I will ever leave.

It is so tranquil here, no phones no loud noises (apart from the stunning animals of course). I may not have long to live, but I have reached an agreement with Management that I can stay here until I pass away. They ship my medications from Johannesburg and l,et me occasionally use their main office to check my mail occasionally.

Life is sweet for me my dear Rumi! And I would dearly love you to join me! Have a look at where I'm living and tell me this isn't the perfect place to live:

<weblink to 5imba Pendj@ri>

Join me here at 5imba my dear dear Rumi and I can live out my last days in the best place on god's earth with the best man on god's earth.

Yours in poppers,

Kathrin

Let's see if he bites Twisted Evil

Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 1:09 am

Seems he might be up for it! He sends this:

My Dear Kathrin,
it is wonderful to hear from you as well. how are you?
i am glad to know that you want me to be with you as much as i cannot wait to be wrapped around your arms.

Coming to meet you at benin sounds a wonderful idea, and i will join you there just as soon as you provide me details of your stay there. I mean how to meet with you in person. i ask you to call me and i also provided you with two of my phone numbers but you did not call. At least the Hotel where you are logged at should have a phone where you can call people on, i mean like a pay phone center. My dear Kathrin i really want to believe this is you because i cannot wait to be with you and share in this your newly found happiness.

let me know when i mean the date that you would want me to come down and meet you in Benin. I promise you that this is going to be the best time ever of our entire lives.

i will be waiting to read from you soon.

Rumi.

I'll slap him for not answering my calls (that I never made in the first place)

Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 1:18 am

I send him this back:

My dear Rumi,

I went to the office to get permission to use the office fax machine to call you and the calls never connected. I rang you three times and it didn't connect. There are NO pay phones here. Just the fax machine for the staff here at 5imba.

I should point out, 5imba is not a hotel. Did you not check out the link I sent you? This is a 5afari c@mp, designed to get you away from all the trappings of modern society. It is part of the reason I love the camp so much, no traffic noises, no endless Mobile phone chatter, just the sounds of the beautiful wildlife greeting me on a sunny morning. Oh it is so beautiful here at 5imba, it is why I have decided to live here permanently.

I will ask the Manager if there is a contact number and get back to you.

Yours in poppers,

Kathrin

There is another note demanding pictures, more slappage soon Wink

edited to leet out 5imba (and my own stupidity) Embarassed

Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 2:09 am

So here's the note demanding pictures:

My dearest Kathrin,
it is with so mch pleasure that i which to write t you again.
The truth is that i need proof of what you actually look like, i cant imagine my self travelling down to a country i have never been before without having the full knowledge of what you look like.

If you cannot contact me on phone, then another alternative is to have a recent picture of you in the hotel in Benin and have it scanned and sent to me or preferable a picture of you and any of the receptionist together. that i will hold as proof to show that i know where am going to.

Also i will need the room number that you are lodded in, as soon as you have all this i required sent to me, to be honest with you i dont think i will be able to travel all the way without any concrete proof of who am supposed to meet. i will be with you on Friday as soon as i get all i required from you.

note that ever since we have known each other i have only sent you my pics without you sending me any of yours also i have provided you with my telephone number several times but you never gave me yours or try to call.
i wish is for us to be together as i feel that i already have a strong bond of love for you. i will wait here to receive the pictures i requested for as evidence that you are truly at the 5imba camp.

waiting to read from you soon.

Rumi.

Slappage on the way

Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 2:29 am

And here's the slap:

Rumi,

Why is it you do not have my pictures I sent you, I have every photo you sent me on an CD thingy that Sabrina made for me before I left Australia. I am most upset about this, I even have the signs for K@thrumi studios printed out as wallet sized pics! (His thing is that he's a record producer, and sent me a whole stack of photos... of the DOOR!)

I have spoken to Management here at 5imba, and they are no longer willing to let me use the fax machine for personal calls, and has decided to stick to using the fax machine for faxes and medical emergencies only. There is a number, but is only for the London based Head Office. You are more than welcome to try that, it is on their website:

<web linked snipped>

Please actually bother to read the site this time! It is full of handy information about what the camp is about and where it is located and how we can meet up.

I have to say that I am most disappointed that you do not care enough about me to hold on to my photos, and accuse me of not calling you when in fact I have tried many times to call the numbers you have given from twelve different countries. I have all the emails you sent me, and at no time whatsoever have you sent me an email with your photo in it. So who in fact did you send photos to??? (He did in fact send them to Sabrina, who "didn't" send the photos on)

I find this most hurtful when I have done everything I can to get to you including travelling halfway around the world at my own expense to get here and so far I do not even see you struggling all that hard to get here to Pendj@ri!

And despite your inability to hold on to my pictures, here are two photos of me. The first is most recent. As you can see I have my wig on (the hair is growing back after stopping Chemotherapy, but it is long process) and is taken in my chalet (I think that's what they call it), the second (topless) shot is from my modelling days. I hope you like them

Yours in poppers,

Kathrin

Let's see if he bites Twisted Evil

Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 4:38 am

I'm also thinking he's back to being a feisty piece of turd, and not the Dominatrix's wet dream he was a few months back. Maybe we've been passed on (again)

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 2:51 am

So the Rume writes back. Again there's two emails. This is the first:

Dear Kathrin,
I must say that i find every email that you have sent to me very very important, and i will not dare to take you unserious.
about the pictures, i have sent a couple of pictures to your email because your neice ask for them. she wanted to make sure that i am real and not an imposter, i sent her some couple of my pictures to show that i am for real and that i am not one of those internet scammers who pretend to be what they are not.

so far i have kept only the pictures that you sent to me when Sabrina was arrested during your late sisters funeral and the other one that Sabrina sent to me while you are at the hospital. Also about the phone calls, it is much more easier to buy a sim pack there in Benin, the cost cant exceed 3 dollars. i am sorry but hearing your voice on phone will elevate my spirit and also stand as a strong proof for me to embark on this journey. also i need your ROOM NUMBER and the name you used in booking for the reservation. if you go through your emails you will find many of my pictures in it, so it is much more easier for you to identify and recognise me.

In the pictures you sent to me, you still look wonderfully beautiful as i cant wait to be with you. If you cannot buy a sim pack, you can ask someone to get it for you, all you have to do is to insert it in a phone and then email the phone number to me. there i can reach you on. i have gone through all the neccessary information concerning the 5imba p3ndjari and i must say its quite like an heaven here on earth.i really appreciate your travelling all the way down to Africa to be with me as much as i also want to be with you.

Please my Love, endeavour to send me your room number and the name you used in booking for reservation. these information are vital to me as i am about to travel to a country i have never been before. i really want you and i to be happy together for the rest of out lives.
waiting to read from you.

Rumi.

I've got a feeling he'll get a slap for not paying attention. Hopefully the second email will be deserving of slappage too. I'm in the mood for love (erm slappage) Wink

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 3:38 am

I send him this back, plus a whole stack of 5imba related photos I found through Google image search:

My dear rumi,

Bearing in mind what you said, I have gone through every email I have from you (and there are 114) (Being a hoarder has it's advantages) and while I have found some very interesting things (such as several requests for money) I have found no pictures. Are you sure you sent them to this account? If not, who did you send them to?

Again I find myself repeating myself, which is most frustrating. There are no room numbers! I've attached a photo of 5imba's offices, as well as a photo of the vehicle they're teaching me to drive (in the photo I'm in the passenger seat) as well as my cottage. Please look at the site closely for contact info for the camp..

And as for "what name did I register as?" I find that just plain insulting. I am not a common criminal and have nothing to hide. Of course I used my own name. I am very happy with my name and no intention of changing it. I am registered as of course. I have decided to keep my married name for now. I prefer it to my maiden name of Kathrin Shicklgruber.

I am sorry rumi, but I will not buy a sim pack. It is against the rules of the s@fari c@mp to have a mobile phone on the property (besides, there are no transmission towers anywhere near the camp so we do not receive a mobile phone signal). What would be the point of having a "getting away from it all safari" if a mobile phone suddenly went off??? No my dear Rumi, part of the conditions of travelling here is no mobile phones.

You may be able to leave a message on the London based number or we can simply keep writing emails. Otherwise I will ask the staff to email you. I have to go now Rumi the satellite connection is about to drop out

Yours in poppers

Kathrin

edited 'cos it came up in a FACEBOOK search, not even Google Embarassed

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 3:41 am

The Rume's second email. I figure it's slappable:

Dear Kathrin,

I have been waiting all day to read from you.
i need you to call me on the phone because Benin is a french spoken country and it will be difficult to communicate with people around there. if you provide me a phone number i can reach you on, then i can contact you to let you know when i am around. i need to speak to you, so as to plan my schedule for this trip. <phone number snipped> please i need you to call me.

Kisses

Rumi

I send this back:

Rumi.

I have decided to get the staff here to email you with information about the camp since you do not seem to read my mail. Maybe you will pay more attention to them than you do to me...

Kathrin

Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 4:00 am

IT looks like we might be on! I just got this bolding is mine:

Quote:

Dear Kathrin,
I appreaciate that you could find time to go through my emails. now i understand all that you have been saying.

And about asking for money, i only ask for assistance from your nephew when i was having crisis in paying up my studio rent. but she never assisted and i decided to let her be and that has been settled and forgotten.

I am sorry all the pictures i sent was to her email, she needed my pictures at that time to verify my true identity.

After all this i have made up my mind to travell down and see you tomorrow, i will be coming in a grey BMW car. hope to see you there.

Kisses.
Rumi.

I won't slap him for calling my "niece" a nephew, in case he makes that mistake again. Intriguingly the IP addresses have always been in Nigeria this time it 's KENYA (77.220.15.130 Kenya*). I checked it in TWO ip address checkers, both came up Kenya. Seems he's gonna make his own way there Smile

Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 4:51 am

I send him this back:

My darling Rumi,

You'll be here tomorrow??? That is wonderful news! I am so happy I could shit! A grey BMW? I will keep an eye open for one, there are not too many here in Pendjari, they should be easy to spot.

I can't wait to see you my love

Yours in poppers,

Kathrin

I STILL haven't told him where the camp is, what cabin I have, why do birds suddenly appear... Wink

Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 1:54 pm

I got this:

Dear Kathrin,
I am on my way now to meet you. i decided to drop in a corner cafe to let you know i am coming. watch out for a grey BMW.
I cant wait to kiss you.

Rumi.

Oddly enough, IP Address is back to Nigeria, and again I checked it through TWO IP checkers 41.219.192.28 *Nigeria. Which is where The Rumemeister's email used to come from. Suggestions on the Kenya IP Addy? I want to make sure his "trip" to Pndjari is checkable after all... Grrrrrrrrrr Evil or Very Mad

Posted: Sat Jan 16, 2010 2:36 am

It seems the Rume's on the road. IP Addy 41.191.86.145 Benin* (Checked through both Apelord and whatismyipaddress.com, it seems he's in Cotonou):

Dear Kathrin,
i arrived Benin safely and a, at the cotounou right now.
After passing through several boarders, my car was stopped at the boarder dividing Nigeria and Benin. i came in with my cousin and we have exausted all money on us due to several bills i had to enable me cross with the car. now tthe car is packed at the Benin Boarder,

what i need from you now is the exact description of the place because every body i ask here seem not to know the place. its really been stressful for me all day but i am still trying to trace the route. thank you.

kisses
Rumi.

In total honesty I didn't expect him to travel. what the hell do I do now???

Posted: Sat Jan 16, 2010 2:51 am

He wrote again, still in Cotonou, still on the same computer. He writes this:

My dear Kathrin,
I tried so much to get to you today, but it was a journey filled with experiences. right now, i am in a hotel in Benin cotounou with my cousin, the people here says it will take us about 5 to 7 hours to get to 5IMBA PANDJ@RI C@MP and that the closest location is PAR@KOU is that true? but i have made up my mind to get to you no matter what. so please pray for me and keep intouch. Kisses.

Rumi.

I write this back in an effort to "get the shuttle bus happening for him". We'd HATE for anything to go wrong now wouldn't we??? Twisted Evil

My darling Rumi,

Yes Parakou is the closest city to the camp. But if email Bernie the Manager at 5imba via Email: <snipped> he can organise a shuttle to pick you up should there be problems. I may even be in the passenger seat if you ask him nicely enough.

I am so excited that you will soon be here in person. The mere thought makes me so hot under the collar that I think I will go have a lie down (Not that I will get any sleep at all if you know what I mean and I think you do). Get in touch with Bernie as soon as possible as I would hate for anything to go wrong now that you are so close!

Yours in poppers,

Kathrin

Now that he seems to be on the road, let's see how long we can drag it out Wink

Posted: Sun Jan 17, 2010 4:51 am

Just got this today:

Quote:

Dear Kathrin,
i am now at the pick up point in Boabab, they say it is very close to the camp, i have been here all day without any trace of you, i even asked the person in charge here to know if you are here. i can be reached on this number if you ask the manager mr Bernie to call me. +2348057791677 i am here waiting helplessly my darling.

IP addy 41.204.224.16 whatismyipaddress.com says it's a proxy server so it COULD be in Benin, though the stats say Nigeria. Header apelord says Nigeria (Benin)

Posted: Tue Jan 19, 2010 10:07 am

In RL, I haven't been on line while visiting relatives. It couldn't have come at a worse time for the bait. IP Address 41.204.224.13 about three across from the other one:

Dear Kathrin,
i am presently in Natitingou, hotel Baobab Tanguieta. please what ever you have to do to get me out of here should be done very fast because i am already fagged out and exausted, i could not sleep all night, it was so cold and the mere thoughts of you takes away sleep from my eyes.
i will try to ring mr Bernie as soon as possible. my darling i will be waiting at the hotel Baobab. in Tanguieta. Natitingou so please be quick.

Rumi

Fagged out??? Shocked

Posted: Tue Jan 19, 2010 10:08 am

Then this (dated Sunday) IP Address same 41.204.224.13:

Chers Kathrin,
i am at Tata Somba hotel now waiting for you. my dresscode is black shirt and a black trousers. please meet me there now please. Thank you.

Rumi.

Posted: Tue Jan 19, 2010 10:09 am

And this dated three hours later:

You should be on your way here now,
Am still at Tata Somba hotel waiting anxiouly for hours now to be with you. and i can be reached on this number. <snipped>

Rumi.

Posted: Tue Jan 19, 2010 10:16 am

And diddums gives up:

Dear Kathrin,
it is with a heavy heart that i am sending this email to you.
just so you may know, i embarked on a journey in a country i know nobody. i waited for you all day at the Tata somba hotel like you suggested yet you never showed up. is it fair? i have spent 3 nights already yet no signs of you.

nevr the less i am still happy at least i followed my heart cos no one knows whe is destiny lies. i love you so much that was why i came for you, all the same i have mad up my mind not to stay a day more here as am out of cash for any more hotel bills.

so by the grace of God i shall be leaving for my country first thing tomorrow. it relly hurts me not seeing you befor i leave, but i am sorry i have to.

Thanks for making me see all this beautiful places i appreciate. but if you love me and believe in me, you can find your way to my country.for now, i am tired of your not seeing me. all day i waited at the Tata somba hotel, but you never showed up or rather email me to tell me situation of things. infact as i am writing you this email i feel like crying cos this journey is so stressful with my car under duemore rate at the packing space in Benin..

thank you so much for what you make me go through.
Rumi.

Personally I would've thought all the other crap was FAR worse than a little safari Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Jan 19, 2010 4:18 pm

This just in. IP Addy 77.220.15.135 traces back to Wilson Airport Kenya. I like how he claims to know more about bernie than I do:

Dear Kathrin,
As i speak to you now, am already in Nigeria.
i dont know what your games are but what ever you think you are doing, then go ahead and make your self happy. you said you will meet me at the Tata somba hotel in Natitingou i was there waiting for the whole day but you never showed up. besides that the phone number you ask me to call is always on voice mail, though i left couple of messages but i never got any respond.

If i may ask, how did you get there? did you fly? or you wet by road? cos i spent almost 13hours by road from Lagos Nigeria to Natitingou in Benin i left all that matters to me behind because of you. yet my journey was invain cos you never showed up. every where in natitingou has phone cos i met some couple of forighners who came there that has phones.

I should't have embarked on a journey like that. you never called despite the fact that we have know each other for quite some time now, i gave you my phone number to call on but still you never did. to tell the truth, i am so angry thati feel you are not real. 3 nights of cold and continous expenses yet no Kathrin. did i mention to you that i came there with my cousin who is a pastor? i was so dissappointed in my self when we spent 3 nights in another country without seeing you. it took us 8 hours to get to Natitingou, what a stressful journey you put me through. if i had seen you i would have felt much better, but instead i feel worse now. if truly you are for real then call me on the phone. as i am back to my work now and wont have much time for anymore emails.

Bernie is the founder of the pandjari and not a manager. before i can respond to you again, i need proof that you are real. call me i will understand even if you cannot speakgood english. just call thats all i need now.. Bye.

Rumi.

I've said it a fair few times now. It was fun while it lasted. And I dunno plane to Benin BMW (rental?) to Parakou and back. Is this greedy little so and so (ie me) worthy of his second pith helmet???

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