2010 Valentines Day Be My Lust Object Thread

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Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

@jose: Do you mean you haven't decided yet, James? Wink

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 9:26 pm

Titania wrote:

All women are woo-worthy.

My beloved Titania, I couldn't agree with you more. The lovely dames in this here fine club are no doubt a class of their own, and who on this earth wouldn't happily give their right arm for the privilege of being allowed (or at least tolerated) to worship one of those divine creatures? I dare say that only a fool would turn such a great opportunity and honour.
But tell me, my beloved Titania, what's a compliment worth if it's thrown at each and every lady passing by, not unlike a crazy bunch of Jehovah's Witnesses shoving a copy of the Watchtower into the face of every single innocent passer-by who happens to come within their reach? It certainly loses much of its meaning and magic. Just think of those "you're my bestest friend in the whole world, tee-hee" e-mails that people forward to their entire address book.

It is for this reason that a man should pick one (or two, maybe three, but at most four) women to woo. It makes the woo-ing so much more special, and I'm sure you'll agree that each and every of our lovely Eater ladies deserves to be treated as the very special person that she is. Woo-ing all women equally would likely lead to hurt feelings, if not considered an outright insult.

It is thus a credit to a gentleman's good manners and respect towards a woman's feelings when he lets his heart carefully choose one single lady among so many adorable woo-worthy ladies, and decides that this one lady is the one he truly wants to woo.

Having said that, you wouldn't happen to know if devil_woman's into cheesy love poems...?

(Oh, and apologies for any gross mistakes. English's my third language and I still haven't quite mastered that 'pretentious elderly playboy' style everybody's started using. But I'm sure this thread'll be great practice!)

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 9:29 pm

HH, is that sockets as in European, US, and UK? To plug her in? I don't know whats going on there...

But here's another Valentine offering.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lV5lnYlR58

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 9:39 pm

You daft badger!
This sort of socket.
[img]http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y191/kedge39/l30bk.jpg [/img]

Image too wide -- JMR

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 9:43 pm

TheGreatOok wrote:

Hey I missed all our long talks and various passing of pms

Oh, and is that PMs or PMS?
Just checking before I maybe decide to try and woo her later, no offense meant Very Happy

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 9:43 pm

@Ima,

Of course I have decided, I have never been more certain of anything this week. Stop being so catty, you already have two suitors, not that it speaks well to your judgment or taste in men. Twisted Evil

And who is this James character that you mention? Wink

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 9:46 pm

Dammit Bankster, PMs

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

@jose: catty? Laughing

Did you think I was trying to entice you with that comment? Certainly not. I'm a much better baiter than that, just ask my mentor.
My taste in men is excellent, by the way. You may have missed my post in which I mentioned having a bit of a crush on all of the guys in green and red. Wink

Edit: and on James.

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 9:59 pm

Green and Red?

That's a bit snobbish isn't it? or is it colour prejudice?

What's wrong with us guys in orange? Not good enough?

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

I like the guys in orange too (and non orange as well) but I talk to the guys in green and red more often because of this volunteer work I do on some scambaiting site. I was also trying to not be too greedy. Embarassed

Edit: I should probably just slink away from this thread and behave myself now. Embarassed

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 10:07 pm

HitchHiker wrote:

Green and Red?

What's wrong with us guys in orange? Not good enough?

Here, fixed that for you!

You're welcome. Smile

Happy woo-ing!

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 10:09 pm

Thanks Bankster.

@ Ima, please do not slink away. We all love you and want you near us.

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 10:11 pm

oooo a multi-faceted tool(kit), now you're talking.....

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 11:27 pm

Ima Baeder wrote:

I'll try to refrain from calling you a friend in the future.

Dear Ima,
Thank you for bringing me to my senses.
Some people say that I define what dense is.

Please don't de-friend me
I was just being silly.

I value your friendship.
Getting to hand around on Eater is a trip.

I know I could never measure up
I am still but a pup.

You have made your intentions clear,
I will respect you as I say "Yes Dear".

As <strike>James</strike> Jose pointed out
And this often makes me pout.

You are not available to woo,
Your heart is meant for only two.

The facts I must respect,
Even if it makes me feel like heck.

PN

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Quote:

You are not available to woo,
Your heart is meant for only two.

Speaking humbly as one of those two, I will say that I found your insight beautiful and touching. Very Happy

:sigh: Hi, Ima.

Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 2:29 am

TheGreatOok wrote:

^ Hey I missed all our long talks and various passing of pms, so I just thought I would let you know I am back. Wink

and I'm very excited to see that you're back.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

HH: Sorry, I had missed your first post about the socket set and was wondering why you'd posted the picture. Laughing

No Grand Prix tickets but I do have a nice socket set:

So yes, we have what you want. (though I suspect most men aren't shooting for the size of my arm muscles. Laughing

)

@Paranoid: Nice poem. Please don't pout. (Or were you just being dramatic for the sake of your poem?). Is it safe for me to call you a friend again? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wftbahypdAA

Hi back, Sners. XO

Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 5:02 am

Ima, it certainly was for Dramatic flair, or artistic license. My name isn't Pouting Noid... Laughing

Edited to add: Sure, Friends is GREAT!

Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 6:09 am

I like to dedicate the following song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kkPeEGlJgY

It's here too without a video

http://www.aimini.net/view/?fid=777GIcmQBvMY8KOZcey9

To someone very special. Slightlyoutofit Very Happy

You are a great pal to have Very Happy

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

If you've finally healed from my brutal heart stomping (I don't quite remember it that way Laughing

) and given up on me for another, at least you picked someone as lovely as I am. Slightly will be lucky to have you for a Valentine, Ghost.
You didn't check the link I posted for ParaNoid, did you. Wink

PS. Wasn't I supposed to get some sort of health insurance from you at some point last year? Confused

Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 7:29 am

^

Just trying to expression my friendship and admiration for SOOI Very Happy

No, I am not over you breaking my heart. I never will be. I wear my broken heart like a crown Sad

No I didn't see the link you put for paranoid. How weird how we think a like and I live to see you happy and you toss me out like yesterdays garbage.

I did find a song for you too, Ima.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYsoOFUxbH4

TS tells me this is his song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFYbm0_Xem0

And here is my post-Ima song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMOnbpiLx0k

Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 8:40 am

Ralph is going to need a lot of work to get him to any kind of standard where he could woo a goat, let alone a girl, I had a chat with him earlier today;

Part chat with Ralph;

Quote:

Ralph: Hi Murry my best friend in the world
Murry: please dont call me that
Ralph: but everybody calls you Murry
Murry: No, please dont call me friend
Ralph: Oh, I am sorry mate
Murry Rolling Eyes

so what is it you want me to do this time, you know I am only helping you so you will stop tagging along with me
Ralph: I realy do appreciate how much you have helped me, you really are such a wonderful wooer
Murry: I know, stop sucking up and tell me what it is you want
Ralph: will you promise me you will not post any of this, it could be a little embarrasing
Murry: embarrassing hey, of course i promise
Ralph: well, I want to know about girls
Murry: So what do you want to know about girls
Ralph: I want to know about protection
Murry: from what, you mean from them telling you to get lost every time you see them
Ralph: No, although some help with that would be nice too
Murry: So what exactly do you want to know?
Ralph: lets just say that this girl and I do end up back at my place after bingo
Murry: I dont think you need to worry about that
Ralph: but just in case, how do I kiss her on the lips without getting her pregnant
Murry: ahhh, didn't anybody teach you about the birds and the bees
Ralph: of course they did, Birds fly in the air and sing wonderful songs on my window sill and bees make honey
Murry: Umm, yes, that, right, look, I realy dont think you will need to worry about that, perhaps we should be more concerned about getting one to talk to you
Ralph: I guess so, you are the guru my best friend
Murry: Please dont call me that
Ralph: What "Guru" I thought you liked being called that, I know you insisted I tell you so you would even talk to me
Murry: No, dont call me friend
Ralph: Oh sorry, but I do have more questions
Murry: sigh, Ok, be quick then, I am working on a woo myself for Kate, I am sure there will be others wooing her and I did want to make sure my woos are the best
Ralph: Oh, I am sure they will be
Murry: hurry up, I have my own wooing to do you know
Ralph: oh yes, sorry, Kate has posted about somebody who she is posting for
Murry: oh yes, that, she is beautiful isn't she
Ralph: i dont even know who it is that Kate is posting for so I dont know
Murry: No, I meant Kate
Ralph: Oh, of course she is.
Murry: do get on with it
Ralph: Well, as it turns out I know some Russian
Murry: I dont remember teaching you that
Ralph: ahh, no you didn't, I learnt it from this girl I want to woo
Murry: But I taught you everything you know
Ralph: Umm.. Yes, of course you did
Murry: Ok, go on
Ralph: Well, the girl Kate is posting for knows some Russian, she even said my name.. in Russian
Murry: Surely not, that girl seems much too good for you
Ralph: Yes, I know but I was wondering if you could ask Kate who it is
Murry: Surely there isn't 2 girls who have an interest in you, it must be her, unless it is a girl just teasing you again
Ralph: I do hope it isn't just somebody teasing again, but could you please check for me
Murry: I will check for you
Ralph: Thank you Murry, you realy are the greatest friend
Murry: I asked you not to call me that
Ralph: What, Greatest
Murry: No Ralph
Ralph: I thought you said I should always call you the greatest
Murry: why do I bother, is that all yet
Ralph: Could you please post my next woo for me later
Murry: I hope its better than the last one
Ralph: Oh, I hope so too, thank you so much for your help Murry but I have to go
Murry: Go, go where? to bingo?
Ralph: oh, yes, I do have to go there, how did you know? I haven't been yet today but first I have another email to send
Murry: Well, you had best do that then
Ralph: thank you so much Murry, you really are such a good friend
Murry: Rolling Eyes

bye Ralph

Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:10 am

OK, thinks like I'm burned with Dora Crying or Very sad

Any girl here likes a fat meateater beerdrinker?
I should have guessed standards on Eater are far from RL ones...

Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 10:30 am

@Ima,

Ralph contacted me again very concerned about this;

Quote:

a bit of a crush on all of the guys in green

He wanted me to let you down gently when I told you that the girl of his affection was another.

Dont worry, I told him that the local goat wouldn't be interested in him, he seems to have accepted that now Wink

Now, onto the wooing

Finally Ralph left me alone for 5 minutes which was long enough to put this little poem toegether about somebody very special to me.

I know it is below my usual standards but none the less it is all so true

Quote:

It was early last year while looking around

That I noticed something I might not have found

I found some words, so polite and caring

A little cheeky but all so funny and daring

I found those words and didn’t think again

To think of us now would have been insane

I went on my travels and didn’t think much more

about that daring fun girl I would come to adore

I returned from my travel and back to the grind

And carried on working with lots on my mind

I knew my deeds were worthy and seen

But didn’t know they were seen by My Beautiful Queen

But then early in the year before Vday

I again found this girl, it seemed she wanted to play

I had nothing to lose and wanted to be polite

So I made a move to see if I was right

I made some comments to check on things

To have a little fun and see what it brings

I wanted to be sure that she wanted me

Before putting it all out there for the world to see

I posted some woos that I hoped she would find

And hoped she would tell me to ease my mind

Well tell me she did, in such a playful way

With beautiful words that made my day

So I began to send woos without really knowing

Where it would take us or where we were going

I wrote some woos that seemed pretty good

And she responded as I thought she would

The woos got more personal and more direct

And seemed to be having the right effect

So I kept them coming and gave my best

And hoped my charm would do the rest

It was a matter of days later and to my surprise,

She sent me a message, I couldn’t believe my eyes

The message told me she liked what she had seen

And that she loved my wooing and that she was keen

I sent my reply and told her a little about me

About my identities so that she could see

Just who I was and what I was doing

With victim support and not just wooing

The next surprise was for the beautiful girl

Who was so very happy she did a twirl

To find that the other whom she admired

was one and the same and from there it transpired

The Beautiful Princess she told of her dream

To become another warner and part of the team

I was just happy to have another recruit

So eager to please and funny to boot

I gave her some tips on where she could start

She made her first post and opened my heart

Others would notice and speak out aloud

About this talented new girl who made me so proud

I continued to woo and kept having fun

As the Princess and I turned into one

I made my choice known and left it to Fate

And continued to fall for my Beautiful Kate

The closer we got and the more that I learned

The more love that I felt and more that I yearned

Between all the love and the incredible fun

I don’t know where it was but the 2 became one

The love that we share it wasn’t foretold

It was by chance and not at all bold

We dared to dream and the dreams came true

When you followed your heart and said "I love you"

The words are still with me as if only just said

They filled my heart and spun around in my head

There was really only one thing I could do

And that was to say that I love you too

Denying our love could go on no longer

The feelings have grown and gotten much stronger

It was fate that brought us together

and it is our love that will make us last forever

Kate My Princess I have always been true

You have learnt about me and I about you

You have been in my heart and in my mind too

Kate My Princess, I will always love you

Sweet kisses and close hugs we will forever share

Feeling the touch as if we were there

Feeling our love in our own special way

A love that grows stronger each and every day

Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 1:15 pm

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooo Hoooooooooooooooooooooooo

Well you have certainly raised the woo-stakes a smidgen Murry - and a lovely poem indeedy

Laughing

Ralph's "mysterious phoney Siberian" mailed me another sorry poem full of lubya's and (again) littered with annoying "reverse R's".

So I pinched one from the web and sent that to "her" dareling Ralphie instead.

Quote:

Time and again, Forever the refrain, Sunshine and rain, Love always will remain.
Dare is the key, Magicaly, You and me, Eternally.
Under moonshine, Sure and fine, Endless time, You are mine.

Now - whatever you think of Ralph - I reckon he is a quick learner.

He fired back this (admittedly stolen) effort to "her"

Quote:

I kneel at Her feet I can feel Her strength and power
I yearn for Her touch and Her smile.
I long to hear Her voice and share in the joy
She takes my hand and wipes away my fears
And enlightens my world, She is my world
Where there was darkness there is now light
She shows me the way and I gladly follow
She owns my heart and my body and soul
She is my Teacher and my Friend
She will teach and I will learn
She is the One I serve.

I think they both show some promise

Wink

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