2010 Valentines Day Be My Lust Object Thread

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Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

Some of you guys seem a wee bit confused about this wooing thing. This isn't a personals thread. Laughing

The men are supposed to do the wooing and make the requests, not ask for pictures or post their credentials. I know, it's hard to put yourself on the line but this is the way it is. We have what you want.

Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 11:13 pm

Ima, mon amour, je te prie d'accepter d'être ma chère Valentine encore cette année.

Je suis entièrement à toi, maintenant et toujours.

Et Paris en 1889 t'attend....

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 12:03 am

@ Ima, I said I wasn't ready and you already have a fine <strike>crap</strike> crop of suitors. I am hoping to be able to woo (though not yoo) in a couple of weeks.

See us "guys" know we have to lay the ground work precisely because of what you so delicately put:

the dainty and delicate Ima wrote:

We have what you want.

Can't get more accurate than that... Shocked

See how does one compete with Juan and his Francais and time machine, except that I drive a Chevrolet.

Shit! People always tell me thet this is a French word...

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 12:10 am

Juan Freizwidatt wrote:

Et Paris en 1889 t'attend....

Oh great, here comes The Doctor. Rolling Eyes

Since both my previous valentines, both being previous mentees, both disappearing from Eater - great choices I had - and NN is ignoring me I'll watch for a while.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

@ParaNoid: It wasn't all directed at you, my friend. I'm just amused at the men who are <strike>chicken</strike> laying the groundwork. Laughing

In French it's "Merde!"

@Juan: :sigh:

@Sners: Hi, my dear.

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 12:38 am

Ima Baeder wrote:

@ParaNoid: It wasn't all directed at you, my friend.

See there it is, the dreaded "F" word! Ahhhhh

Well at least you got it over while I am am still grieving...

the naive to the ways of the male Ima wrote:

I'm just amused at the men who are <strike>chicken</strike> laying the groundwork. Laughing

Actually it would not be chicken if referring to a male, it would be "roostering" or in another sense, to use a British word "cocking" (ask for definition first*) around. Wink

Regarding French words:
So... all of those words people have been telling were French are NOT? You know when they say, "Pardon my French." No wonder Nicolette looks at me so strangely when I say French words to her. I had been telling people I was bilingual... Shocked

*My understanding of the Queens English slang use of this word is to mess up, or goof up, so it fits the context of the original sentence.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

I'll try to refrain from calling you a friend in the future.

Re: the chicken thing: Ok, sure. I'm completely clueless. No worries, I'll just keep reading and try to catch up. Wink

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 1:47 am

Ima Baeder wrote:

@Juan: :sigh:

@Ima: :soupir:

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 2:05 am

To the lady that inspires my dreams
the one who rises above the dross
Sweet lips like yours I'd rather kiss,
than eat green candyfloss

I see your posts and do aspire
I click "save as" and file away
To pull them up and admire
while dessed in all my fine array

I find your avatar enchanting
the clothes, the pose
Those simple adornments
That enhance the gifts that nature bought

Would that you should heed my plea
I write these words so all can see
I'd love to have you sit upon my knee
and share my bottle of 7UP

To dine with you would be divine
maybe a bottle or 3 of wine
upon the table I would lay you
Lemon sorbet with cherries I'd forgo

Your name I'll keep within my soul
To speak too soon would seem to bold
I'll wait and watch to see
Just where you cast your honeypot

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 8:12 am

I tried to tell Ralph how terrible a woo this is but he insisted I post it for him, who am I to stand between the love of an idiot and his secret princess

Ralph wrote;

Quote:

When I go to the bingo hall I always imagine her with me
Marking off her 20 cards close for me to oversee
We each have 2 bingo dabbers, one in each hand
Focussed on the bingo caller and not the next door band.

We mark away side by side as the caller calls 69
We look at each other and smile, that number is on 10 of mine
One card is nearly full another 5 are getting near
When from my darling's mouth I hear "I have BINGO over here"

A room full of people, all of them they swear
and tell the bingo caller, "Its that bitch over there"
We go to the prize table together and we pick a prize
We both pick up the same thing and we let out big sighs

She looks at me with that look and gives a huge wide smile
When we are done here can I go back to your place for a while
My heart it melts but I try real hard not to let my emotions show
I would like to go right now but there are another 5 games to go

With each of those remaining games my heart begins to wander
I imagine our life together forever as my mind does ponder
Could this be true and could her love really be for someone such as me
The most beautiful girl in the bingo hall and it was plain to see

She puts down a bingo marker for the final game
I dont know what she's up to but decide to do the same
She looks into my eyes and holds my hand underneath the table
I forget all about the bingo, who would have thought I was able

That final game had finished, niether of us had marked a single spot
Still staring into each others eyes and feeling very hot
We link our arms and we finish the beer we both shared
It was so beautiful the way we dreamed and the way we dared

We walked home slowly holding hands all the way
Our eyes they said words that our tongues couldn't say
My emotions running high and I know hers are too
We get inside the door and I say "what would you like to do"

Both a little undecided as to what we should do now
So I give her a little kiss, just above her brow
She suggests we get comfortable and sit by the fire
What a great idea I say, she knows my every desire

We sit by the fire, holding each others hands real tight
There couldn't possibly be a better way to end a perfect night
As we sit there on the lounge our arms and legs they intertwine
How could it posssibly be that this perfect girl is mine

I notice her smiling as we stare into each others sparkly eyes
as if we were both trying not to be the first one who cries
I feel something growing inside me and its wonderful too
I look even deeper into her eyes and say "My Princess I love you"

Minutes turned into hours as we sat together by the fire
so in love with each other and so full of natural desire
As beautiful as it was I sense she wanted something more
So I come up with a great idea, I would hate to be a bore

I summon up the courage to invite her to my bedroom suite
Anywhere with you my darling, you have swept me off my feet
We decide that we are grown ups and there is no reason to behave
So I pull out my laptop and discuss the next victim we could save

what on earth have I created

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 8:28 am

OK guys, you're all so far behind me now.
See this from the other well-known posting thread:

DoraTheExplorer wrote:

Well, I think we know who has just moved the the head of the line for my Valentine 2010!

She said it about ME.
So sorry guys, I'm very pleased to say I probably have the VERY BEST result so far.

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 10:38 am

Ralph is at least making some sense, he shows promise, maybe a true "Guru of Woo" can guide and encourage him.

Miss xxxxx mailed me this terse example - littered with "backward" R's

Quote:

My shlyukha Ральф the post of daяeling my all pains,

It is which necessaяy to be as one with you.

Victims aяe pяeserved much numbeяs (больше как bingo games)

But I victim of which your sbeяezhenia I they яequire tяue.

You foя to me will be always be my so специальное сказовое featheя,

one foя which I will laugh and will caяe and foяeveя the togetheя.

youяs заколдовывать,

русски pяincess xxxxx

Writing poetry as dire as this - I can indeedy well understand her need to be uberly secretive.

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 12:46 pm

Ima Baeder wrote:

The men are supposed to do the wooing and make the requests, not ask for pictures or post their credentials.

Yes, but why not first try to find out what kind of ladies are compatible / woo-worthy? As a relative newbie I'm not yet that intimate with each and every lovely lady in this place (though I'm sure that's gonna change soon!).

Ima Baeder wrote:

We have what you want.

Bah. Women need it just as bad as men, they're only better at concealing it. Razz

Besides, who says us guys have nothing to offer??

Why not start with a dinner (veal cutlet on a mushroom cream sauce with croquettes and buttered whole carrots)...

...which is to be concluded with two kinds of mousse au chocolat (pictures taken during preparation)?

Then a little light talk might be in order to digest the meal, preferably with a glass of 2008 Paolo Saracco Moscato d'Autunno in hand. I'm a good, active listener, and did you know that en Français, même les choses les plus immodestes sonnent comme des poèmes d'amour?

If that's too decadent for you, we could always go for a walk. The nearby lake looks lovely in the moonlight, especially in winter.

Of course all that sweet-talking is exhausting, so be my guest and let me do something about those sore muscles:

On the massage table, from top to bottom: plastic flowers, preheated fluffy towels, peeling gloves (for the arms&legs), massage oils (almond and ylang-ylang in that case), homemade peeling salt (for the back), hot stones and warm oil.
Not visible: stereo, electric blanket, fragrance light, shea butter (for the feet) and the small stones.
The entire procedure takes about 1 1/2 hours, extras not included.

Afterwards I'll take devil_woman by the hand and lead her downstairs into that special part of my basement, because I've been a really really naughty boy and need to be punished properly.

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 26 Sep 2008 Posts: 689

^^^ Left handed Bankster? That's very sinister Smile

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 1:30 pm

Why does this thread remind me of pies? Confused

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 1:35 pm

Quote:

Left handed Bankster? That's very sinister

Ahahah. I get it! A clever wordplay! Very Happy

(To be honest, it's just that both me & Honeybunny hold the fork with the wrong hand.)

Quote:

Why does this thread remind me of pies?

I really have no idea.

Edit: The custom rank I've ordered has arrived! Happiness! Very Happy

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 4:09 pm

Wow, the thread started early and I completely missed the initial wooing volleys.

SSA: You know I will always love you, babe. You were the perfect valentine for last year, but I am not quite sure of having to share you. I don't want to sell myself off so cheaply only because you know I love a man with a big gun Wink

There are a few certain unnamed eater men who should at least get a chance at snaring the evil Jane. They know who they are, so they better man up and send a woo or two. If they don't, well hell hath no fury……he he.

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 5:00 pm

^^^You tell em, Girlfriend!

Laughing

Juan's stalker Joined: 28 Aug 2008 Posts: 1423

I would love to play if any of you fine Eater men are interested in being my King ?

I can be naughty or nice , whatever you like.... Wink

I'm very interested in who snags the lovely Lotta. Although I think Ghost is out since he called her mom.

I am terribly sorry about how you were treated last Valentines Ghost, I feel partly responsible for encouraging the naughty Scarlette to woo you.
I never knew she would not show up on the big day. Sad

Tormented Ghost wrote:

Last year still lingers in my mind like a never ending nightmare I cannot wake from. My heart was torn out, yet alive I watched as it was stepped on, thrown in a trash can, removed from the trash can, then was used as a baseball. Finally is was used to wedge under a car tire until it was kicked out and left in the gutter.

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 6:54 pm

Bankster wrote:

Yes, but why not first try to find out what kind of ladies are compatible / woo-worthy?

Dear Bankster, you must indeed be relatively new (despite your length of time here) not to know this little fact:

All women are woo-worthy.

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 6:59 pm

Hello, dear woman that I love.

I dreamed of you again. I woke up in the middle of the night, when I reached to the empty spot on the matress next to me, and wondered where you were. Half sleeping, not knowing if it was a dream or reality, I went to the bathroom where I splashed some water in my face. Slowly the mist in my brain disappeared. I realised I dreamed of you again. I understood that it was not real. I went back to bed. My face was all wet.

Not because of the water.

Tears.

*sigh*

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 8:23 pm

TheGreatOok wrote:

Hey Lotta, how you doin?

Hi darlin. I'm doing good thanks! Wink

Craig007 wrote:

Don't you dare, Catman. I know your game! She's mine! Forget the pleasantries. Evil or Very Mad

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 8:32 pm

^ Hey I missed all our long talks and various passing of pms, so I just thought I would let you know I am back. Wink

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 9:18 pm

Ima Baeder wrote:

We have what you want.

a six pack, tickets for the Grand Prix, muscular arms and a complete set of sockets? Laughing

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 9:21 pm

Last year I attempted a mass-woo and would have succeeded save for reasons best know to me. While all the lovely ladies here are more than woo-worthy, there is only one that holds my full and undivided attention this year.

I will not reveal the object of my affection so soon only to have certain scoundrels, and you know who you are , vainly attempt to discredit me for their own selfish gains. Not that I am intimidated, quite the contrary, however I am far to refined to dignify any of this untoward behavior with my participation.

luckey turned out to be a shameless tease

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