Goings on in Oz (now with 100% more Zombie Armageddon!)

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 2:51 pm

Caligula wrote:

Oh, and don't travel in groups bigger than 4. That's the absolute maximum.

Actually , its 4+1. 4 survivors and bait. preferably someone that is a bit slower then all of you and runs in the other direction when trouble arrises. Try to de-educate him that splitting up is the best way to survive.

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 2:56 pm

Caligula wrote:

Ninja's don't drive trucks. Trucks are the least stealth of all vehicles. Besides tanks, perhaps.

I don't think I'd ever want to be in a Ninja squad run by you Wink

Duh... Ninja so do drive trucks. You are so un-hip to the modern Ninja. We use stealth when needed and rocket launchers every other day.

When I see you riding your uncool bicycle through a zombie horde I am so going to use my bladed snow plough on you. When your brains are on display and you're shambling towards me wanting my man-flesh, deep down you'll be thanking me. Very Happy

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 3:02 pm

NN wrote:

through a zombie horde

You're missing my point again. If you're too stupid to stay ahead of the horde, you deserve to become one. You keep luring them directly to you in your big ass red truck Wink

Oh, and I'll promise you this. Never, EVER am I going to want your man-flesh.

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 3:09 pm

Well why didn't you say you were the bait...

What happens if you get puffed on your bicycle and the zombies catchup? Plus, as a zombie, you won't be able to control your urge to get man-flesh, so I will take your outburst as the first sign of zombie-ness and have you axed.

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 3:22 pm

Oh come on! The average walking speed of a zombie is a mere 2.5-3 miles an hour tops! They may sprint for a second but with limbs practically falling off they won't keep that pace very long. I don't know about you, but when I ride my bycicle I have an average speed of 20 mph. If I ever break down I can still start jogging until I find another bycicle. Jogging is still faster than 3mph, plus if one ever tries to surprise me I still have starting speed and be agile enough to outfun him.

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 4:01 pm

^^ And this is why i still prefer the un-hetero kind of zombie apocalypse.
The slow kind just doesn't seem like a real threat. More like an excuse to axe random people and claim they were infected.

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 4:59 pm

Sorry. Cycling may be good for the planet but where the Zombie Armageddon is concerned, you're just asking for trouble.

Although you may be able to pedal out of trouble when faced by one zombie hoarde, it's almost guaranteed that you'll be pedalling towards another, just as hungry bunch of the undead.
The danger that you're now in is that you're surrounded. Surrounded with nothing but a cycling helmet and a bicycle pump to defend yourself with. Almost every expert on the subject agrees that this is probably one of the most negative situations that you can be in when confronted by zombies.

The smart money says put at least a pane of glass and a snowplough blade between you and the nearest zombie. If you can attach disc cutters or whirling blades to your wheel hubs, then go for it (although these are not mandatory). Obviously, you can't kit out a pushbike with a snowplough blade, so at the bare minimum, you're talking about some sort of vehicle that's at least the size of a Toyota Prius.

Facing down the Zombie Armageddon on the saddle of a bicycle is going to cause you a whole load of grief. You're basically screaming out "Here comes Meals on Wheels".

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 5:03 pm

Oh yeah. auguste? Please note that we're talking about the Zombie Armageddon here. Not the Zombie Apocalypse.

The two are both quite distinct and should not be confused with each other.

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 5:22 pm

I'll be earth-smug and ready for zombies. Cool

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 5:26 pm

Sigh... Why would there suddenly be whole herds of zombies? When you are living quietly and hidden, there is no way they find you. As far as I know zombies don't use telephones, GPS trackers or infrared camera's. All they do is look around for humans, trying to hear or see signs of life and then going after that. If I don't provide signs like that, signs like oh, let's say riding a giant red loud truck - as zombies don't ride in cars, the subject operating the car HAS to be human- there wouldn't any herds that chase me in the first place. If some of them come near, I'm off before they come close

You seem to think zombies are smart - well they aren't. It's not because they eat brains that they get smart.

You guys are right when it comes down to close combat - but in my eyes it's better to prevent they ever come near enough.

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 5:26 pm

Caligula wrote:

Sooner or later the ammo runs out...

I, personally, will run out of zombies long before I run out of ammo, trust me. Wink

It's the food supply that might be a problem, sure MREs can hold you over for a while, but for the discerning connoisseur much more is needed to please the palate. I wonder if zombies are are edible? I will take one for the team and test it for the greater good of all mankind. They can't be much different than cooking wild game, most things are edible if they are wrapped in bacon with a jalapeno stuck inside, liberally doused with BBQ sauce and then thrown on the pit. Very Happy

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 6:13 pm

Sounds tasty Jose! I suggest you stick to fresher, newly made zombie to prevent accidentally ingesting rancid meat.

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 6:22 pm

That's stupid. You can't eat a zombie without becoming infected with the zombie virus stuff in the meat. Everyone knows that.

Best defense against zombies is to dress like a clown. All zombies are afraid of clowns, and clown brains taste funny.

Baiting Guru Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 3193

Be sure to cook it well to kill the virus, but if the vector is a protein like BSE then you'd have to carbonise it. Let us know the results of your experiments.

I think the best idea is to use the best technology you can. In urban areas (and in the UK most places are uncomfortably close to urban areas) you need firearms and a heavy vehicle. In truely rural areas once the initial panic is over then you should be able to get by on a bike with crossbows and swords. But what happens if you wake up one morning to find your secluded farmstead unaccountably surrounded?

So you need to get the heavy weaponry and the truck, but you also need to plan ahead with a bike (and spares) and muscle-powered weaponry. Get out of town and lie low, saving as much petrol and ammo as you can; after the first few months there's a good chance you're not going to get any more of it.

Four might be the optimum maximum group size, but it is also the minimum. You can't plough, sow and harvest without setting lookouts, and with four people you can't split your party. If you split into pairs and one gets infected, the chances are he will kill the other. So move in fours, but plan to meet up with other groups.

The minimum gene-pool is 200 individuals. That's far too large for a single community, so you're going to need radios and probably ones with more range than CBs.

In summary then, for the initial panic:
1. Get the biggest and meanest you can and plenty of it.
2. Plan for the future.
3. Get out of town as quickly as possible.
4. Do not split up.

Once you are holed up:
1. Conserve ammo and petrol unless there is no alternative.
2. Use renewable energy for everything.
3. Form small communities of 8-16 people.
4. Use radio to keep in touch with other survivors.

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 7:07 pm

I will be calm.

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 7:15 pm

@Thud: Given the obvious challenges of finding 200 clown suits in a hurry, you can probably get by with red rubber balls for noses along with a load of whipped cream and empty pie tins. That will get you through the waking hours, but to sleep safely, everyone is going to need clown PJs.

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 7:26 pm

@Corona. That's just bravado.
I know for a fact that you won't be calm when the zombies are chewing on your kidneys and using your intestines as a skipping-rope. Remaining calm whilst having your giblets feasted upon isn't an easy thing to do. I believe you'll scream as loudly as the rest of those poor suckers who are on the menu as "Zombie Chow".

As for Jose's suggestion that he try to eat zombie? I like your style!! "Those bastards eat me, so see how they like it for a change". But sadly, I have to agree with Luckey (whom I don't often agree with because I hate) - if you eat zombie flesh, you're just asking for trouble. In all of the many survival documentaries that I've seen regarding zombie infestation, never once have I seen a living human partake of zombie flesh and survive without getting at least one really bad case of D&V. And as we all know, D&V is a major hazard to any survivor as nearly all zombies like to strike whilst you're sitting on the crapper.
Also, let's face facts - no zombie meat is fresh meat. Unless you're used to eating rancid shit (ie: a MacDonalds regular), I'd suggest raiding a shopping mall for proper provisions.
And who knows? Perhaps whilst there, you might decide to barricade the doors and live there for a while, thus partaking in all the delights and amenities that a modern shopping mall might have to offer the regualr Zombie Armageddon survivor. I don't know if trying this tactic would be a success against zombies; it's a crazy idea that I just came up with. But it might just work.

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 7:30 pm

I tis rare! Laughing

Terrified of spiders, tho! Razz

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 8:52 pm

Pardon my zombie innocence, but are they constrained to humans? I'm thinking that if they are, then there is a finite number of possible zombies.
That being the case, you could lure bunches into a booby-trapped stadium and incinerate a hundred thousand at a time and eventually you would rid the world of the zombie menace and be a hero to whoever is left.
But what to lure them with? All the ugly chicks? After all I want to be a hero to the cool chicks.. okay, lure the zombies with all the ugly chicks, all the dudes and, um, old people, I guess. That should do it.
Ok, I'm wandering, but I wondered if you could lure zombies with, say, a cow? Or would it turn into a zombie cow? And if so, where does that stop? Try protecting yourself against zombie mosquitoes!
Please tell me zombies can only be ex-humans.

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 10:03 pm

Spooky, when you think of it!

Baiting Guru Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 3193

Well that's an interesting question. With any disease cross-species infection is a possibility - just look at BSE and bird-flu. However with a disease that is characterised by sporadic outbreaks like zombie plagues, then it becomes a virtual certainty. There must be a reservoir somewhere, or how does the virus survive between outbreaks? The reservoir species will carry the virus, but probably show few or no symptoms of infection.

The majority of researchers are betting on the possum, although the three-toed sloth has its adherents. Certainly all recent outbreaks have occured in the USA, which points fairly conclusively to the possum.

Infection of an insect would be highly unlikely, but it may be possible that an insect could carry the virus. Malaria is spread in just that way - the mosquito bites an infected person and then infects the next person it bites. Zombies are cold-blooded so mosquitoes would not tend to bite them but it is possible that they could bite an infected person before they turned. Of course global warming is increasing the range of Malaria mosquitoes.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 06 Jun 2009 Posts: 78

What if the virus was airbourne?

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

Slightlyoutofit wrote:

I don't know if trying this tactic would be a success against zombies; it's a crazy idea that I just came up with. But it might just work.

Of course, it sounds truly original and not like anything I've seen in a movie before at all. Make sure the mall has a sporting goods store like in the movie, too.

Posted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 3:43 am

Homicidal wrote:

What if the virus was airbourne?

Then we're all dead and there will be no movie at all. So the idea is mere lunacy.

Now in regards to cross-species infection, we know that dogs can become zombies, but my true real fear is zombie cows. I can't think of anything more frightening. Umm... zombie lions, predictably fierce. Zombie boa-constrictor, scary but no arms. Zombie sharks, just don't go in the water. Zombie ants... small and ferocious.

Posted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 4:03 am

MY God, NN, think about it...zombie seagulls... Shocked

It would b intereesting to do a study on Jose if and when he consumes the cooked zombified flesh. It is relatively unknown if this is transmitted only by bite, chemical interaction upon the deceased, or in a manner similar to BSE, CWD. What do you think Jose can we cage you up with a Weber?

As for "climate change" what about the methane being released by rotting zombies? I know cow farts are a big issue and the gases are similar though I'd rather smell a cow fart than a rotting zombie.

That brings to mind, vaccine probability for near zombified humans. Perhaps a distilled zombie concoction?

Goings on in Oz (now with 100% more Zombie Armageddon!)	View next topic View previous topic