Goings on in Oz (now with 100% more Zombie Armageddon!)

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Posted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 10:28 pm

@josé.
My contributions to this world are done. I can die happily. it doesn't come any better then warning the world of the oncomming global zombie warming armageddon.

@slight
your hoping for the unhetero version, aren't you ?

I would also like to pose the question if the zombie apocalypse does come around and it does happen to be the hetero kind of zombie apocalypse , could the zombies be used as an alternative source of energy ? I mean , they never tire , so some threadmill contraption with meat might be something worth researching now.

Posted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 10:38 pm

No. This isn't "Fido".

The myth that zombies can be trained has been spread around by sandal wearing, tree-hugging liberals with a view to cutting down on zombie pollution. Although some here claim that zombies don't leave much of a carbon footprint, that's not exactly true. You may not remember the mess created by the Radioactive Communist Zombies of Chernobyl (and why should you, it was hushed up) but I do. The authorities are still cleaning the shit up from that debacle. OK, not exactly a carbon footprint. More of a uranium skid-mark but you get my drift.
The only thing that the zombie understands is a bullet in the brain. Or a chainsaw cutting their head off.

The only good undead is a dead undead.

Baiting Guru Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 3193

Umm... Ozone depletion was depletion of the Ozone, increasing the UV and giving us all cancer. Very little* to do with global warming. It just happened that both were noticed at the same time. It went away because getting rid of CFCs was comparatively easy. Even at the time there was confusion between the two.

----
* IIRC CFCs are also greenhouse gasses.

Posted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 11:08 pm

meanwhile, back at the ranch

http://qcl.farmonline.com.au/news/nationalrural/agribusiness-and-general/general/spencer-says-fight-not-about-land-clearing/1718441.aspx

I refuse to get sucked into a Zombie Armageddon Global Warming Conspiricy, I have enough trouble not shooting lentil munching sock and sandal wearing left wing loonie bleeding heart labor voting liberal pink watermelon luddites.

Zombies ok, I can see a Bushmaster 50 cal. working on them.

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 12:49 am

/\/\/\ .50 cal on a zombie is waaaaaay overkill. .45acp or 9mm will work quite nicely and are far less expensive and weildy than the BMG. Mobility as well as plentiful ammo is crucial to survival during any zombie apocalypse. You don't want to be lugging around a 30# (unloaded) weapon whilst trying to evade the hoards of walking dead. Although there is always something to be said for the "WOW" effect when assaulting the undead, survivability is only scored on technical merit and required elements, there are no extra points for presentation. Wink

For added tactical advantage you should also try to match you handgun round with your rifle/carbine round, no sense in packing around multiple types of ammo. Good combinations of pistol/carbine would be the FN 5-7 and the FN P90, Beretta 92F and the HK MP5, and my personal favorite the Glock 21 and the KRISS CRB/SO which has the added advantage of interchangeable magazines in a .45acp round.

Regardless of you personal zombie defense system preference, shot placement is key when a zombie attack is imminent. If you cant get your sights on target it doesn't matter which caliber you choose, you are screwed. Very Happy

(EDIT x2 spelling - because this may be the most important thing you will ever read on the internet)

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 12:52 am

I'll need no weapon. Smile

Not quite a Newb Joined: 16 Dec 2009 Posts: 33

jose_cuervo wrote:

If you cant get your sights on target it doesn't matter which caliber you choose, you are screwed.

I totally agree. So why let the hordes of flesh eating cannibals get close?
Change your load out

1 x Ghillie suit
1 x Cam cream
1 x Remington 30.06
1 x 3 x 10 x 50 Luepold variable scope

As many 30.06 185 grain hollow points as you are physically able to carry
and if you do get stuck in that "Close in" situation, a nice reliable Mossberg 12ga
All guarenteed to be a hungry Zombies worst night mare !!

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 3:27 am

Shotguns. This is by far most effective zombie eradicator. Sure it can messy, but you don't need to accurate. Works better on crowds, gets you through locked doors and windows. The shotgun is a such a multi-purpose tool and weapon during these coming dark and bloody days of hell on earth.

I also recommend getting yourself a large 4WD with some reinforced windows and some sort of snow plough.

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 3:49 am

I bought this last year at a yard sale for $15 and I am currently adding a blade on the front with cages and barbed wire all around. It is steam powered so as long as I have zombie corpses to burn and water I will have dependable transportation (it even came with the trailers!).

The only drawback is the black plume of smoke that incessantly boils out of the stack, which will probably contribute to further global warming, so I also plan to equip it with a window unit air conditioner for the heat and a life raft in case of rapidly rising water levels. Very Happy

Not quite a Newb Joined: 06 Jun 2009 Posts: 78

I promised myself I wouldn't get involved... Oh well...

^Wouldn't that just be excessively slow, thus forcing you to waste more ammo. Personally I'd go for Nurse Nasty's 4WD with a snow plough... Actually, I'd go for a 4WD ute and mount some sort of big nasty machine gun on it... Of course, thats getting a little far fetched but it'd be so cool! Twisted Evil

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 6:24 am

According to the book, melee weapons such as swords, axes, or machetes are preferable to firearms. The don't require ammunition or much maintenance. Also, they don't make a loud noise when used. The last thing you want to do is draw attention to yourself. People don't worry about zombie, they worry about zombies.

Come on NN, use your head. Zombie Armageddon indicates you are in this for the long haul. Laughing

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 6:44 am

/\/\/\ I will not be swayed with such nonsensical statements! I have a very structured belief system regarding the impending Zombie Armageddon. I base these beliefs on the years of research and scientific evidence produced by accredited actors, directors and filmmakers in Hollywood (which if you didn't know are the end-all authority on this subject and most others), not some random post on an internet forum.

Where is this book you mention? It was probably written by some conspiracy theorist to discredit the years of Hollywood research on zombie behavior.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

Moral of the thread: Eater isn't a good place to debate Global Warming. If you do, some of the mods show up and talk about Zombies. There appears to be no way to get them to stop, either. Maybe a shotgun?

On topic: ( Laughing

): There clearly is no media block on the farmer up a pole in Oz as we've had a few links to the story posted.

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 6:57 am

Thats it! I am clearly being singled out, threatened with violence and harassed in general. I am locking this TFN! Mad

CLICK!

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 8:31 am

There are five books. I think they were written by Mel Brooks' son.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Zombie_Survival_Guide

Anyway, I have plenty of guns but no melee weapons (okay, I might have a sword or two) so that should tell you what side of the fence I am on.

You need to unlock this. There is still so much to teach about zombies. What happens when a eater member is trapped in the bathroom with a few dozen zombies trying to break through the door down. The member is going to revert back to this training then realize the bathroom escape was not covered.

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 1:05 pm

This is the single greatest thread on Eater, and so far I can tell that the mods have thought this through a great deal and are well prepared. I knew I wasn't alone and now know who will be by my side during this epic struggle against the undead. Those books you mention cover the basics. We are going in-depth. The real survival guide.

Copy / Paste / Print this thread and title this document as, "Life After Death: Combating and Surviving the Zombie Armageddon"

In regards to the long haul, stocking up on shotgun ammo is easy. We are talking about being prepared, so now is the time to buy. I recommend 12 gauge; pump-action (a small back-up like Hicks from Aliens, you remember the movie and scene. Any good sci-fi, zombie hunter will) - Double barrel sawed off. Light weight and gives you two big shots. Think of that one as disposable. Now for full damage I highly recommend a USAS-12. It's a drum/mag full-auto shotgun. It will throw up a wall of lead to clear a path or decimate a group.

I also recommend melee weapons, but these also run the risk of infection if your zombie is carrying the undead virus. Potentially you can get that blood and viscera in your mouth, eyes and any injuries you've already sustained. I suggest you carry a Katana or at least two. Not only will you look kick-arse they are lightweight and easy to wield. No chainsaws either. Too messy and we all know an accidental chainsaw injury is never 'just a flesh wound'. You were warned.

I would only ever engage in hand-to-machete combat if I were wearing some sort of protective body armour and helmet. It will need to be full-face allowing you full use of your peripherals. The material will need to be bite-proof and the visor quick to clean.

You will also need a variety of skills to survive. I recommend the knowledge and use of welders and oxy/acetylene torches. This will come in very handy when fortifying a stronghold or creating some sort of armoured death machine. Get yourself something with a big engine. You'll need the power to tackle the extra weight and reinforcing for ramming and running into crowds of zombies. Snow plough covered in blades will ensure you deflect and slice the impacts, diverting that energy away from the chassis and engine mounts. Remember a dead vehicle is a dead end.

For extra destruction you can place claymore landmines (always facing out) on small steel plates on the plough, doors, roof and rear. If your vehicle does become disabled allow the infected/souless masses to climb and surround your vehicle... then KA-BOOOOM! Instant escape route. Which reminds me, pack ear plugs and exhale before you detonate. It's going to be loud. Your 4WD will also need solid rubber, or armoured tires. Getting a flat while being mobbed by zombies. Embarrassing...

You will have a tray in your 4WD, so cover the roll cage with a sturdy steel and make a gun-mount. It's not hard. Since you have welding and oxy skills this will all be too easy.

You will also need to know where your local military weapons cache is stored, and have knowledge on how to drive trucks, APC's, tanks and large earth moving equipment. Eventually you'll be set-up to herd and bait your zombies into trenches and quarries so as to exterminate on a mass scale.

I must insist you also learn the power of fuel and matches. Making a flame thrower is good for the mopping up later, but you and your team are sole survivors, so throwing a jerrycan of fuel with a grenade attached can be tricky. One slip or stumble and the human race is over.

I will have a few chapters on locating and fortifying your tower/residence of death. In the meantime adopt the boy-scout motto: Be Prepared!

Now wouldn't it be cool to get some lads to dress up like zombies and create a Top-Five List of Zombie Survival?

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 1:43 pm

Okay I'll unlock this now as it seems to be back on track. Very Happy

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 2:14 pm

^^
Hooray for whining.

On the topic of weaponry : travel light and carry sufficient. remember , a slow human is a dead human. too many people seem to focus on all the shiny weaponry and then forget that they need to actually carry all those cannons around. I personally would go for 2-4 weapons , anything more is overkill. 3 is the magic number in this all. This will probably sound all very cliché , but the tried and tested main / backup / melee seems a good choice here.
You have the main weapon. point, click, bang, rinse , repeat.
your backup for those tight moments when your main weapon is out of ammo. Then of course your melee weapon when you are dumb enough to have 2 empty guns or you are out of ammo.
This melee weapon should be light and practical, preferably sharp enough to cut through heads or blunt enough to bash em in. I personally dislike the idea of a melee weapon myself. Too much risk of getting infected, too much hassle of carrying it around. Your almost better off getting a second hand gun.
The melee weapon is optional if you enjoy dying , think you are resourcefull enough to find a melee weapon in a tight spot or if you happen to have a gun with a chainsaw under it.
http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/9/2008/04/thumb160x_chainsaw_gun_cliffyb.jpg
Guaranteed to cut up you and the zombies at the same time.

On the topic of shotguns : i have to agree with NN.
double barrel sawed offs are great , have a really good spread (with the sawed off barrels) but a horrible amount of shots. If its not dead in 2 shots , you'll have a problem. So don't forget side arms.
i'd suggest sticking to drum / mag shotguns if available. Although they tend to be inaccurate , if you hit it , its dead.

Now for all you stealthy ninja wannabe's out there , i would like to suggest a crossbow. With a backup weapon of course.
Now alot of people are thinking i'm a medieval freak and they are right. But that doesn't change the fact that crossbows have a few huge advantages.
First of all they are silent. Now it is quite hard to justify buying a silencer these days, it also takes away from the accuracy of your weapon. A crossbow is mostly silent in comparison to most guns. As pointed out a few times , a loud bang of a gun will be able to attract more zombies, although this point is still debateable.
They also carry a punch. If you can aim them accuratly , the newer models can punch through walls and still carry some momentum.
Just don't try to skimp out and buy a normal bow. This isn't robin hood , this is a zombie apocalypse.

Explosives , fire , mines.
You know , evry time someone brings up zombie apocalypse , some wise ass starts pointing out mines , explosives or flamethrowers.
One thing to remember : Fire spreads quickly , especially when your burning dried out zombies with fire excellerants. You also have probably received little to no training as a firefighter. your also forgetting about the smoke , lowered visibility , eyes tearing up.
Also remember : Mythbusters has proven many times that shooting stuff will not put it on fire. A jerrycan filled with fuel or those large tanks filled with gass do not just combust when shot. So don't stand there wasting ammo and looking stupid after you've thrown a fuel tank at a zombie horde. Unless you have a mini gun mounted on a car. In that case , go ahead. Tracer rounds also fail to ignite a tank filled with gass.
On that subject : Cars don't combust when driven off a cliff.
But if you really really need to start fires when killing zombies , always be sure you know what is going to explode and what not. Especially indoors. Kitchens can have stoves , garages will have left over fuel , some cleaning detergents. These are great to start a fire, but can end in you being on fire if you didn't expect them to be there while setting zombies on fire.
ALWAYS have a way out if your starting a fire, be sure that that way out is cleared of zombies.

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 2:21 pm

If guymen become zombie lads, will we still be able to get them to pose with signs and go on pointless zombie safaris?

If you see these signs, btw, zombies are in your neighbourhood...

If sea levels rise, can we use zombies as sandbags?

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 2:28 pm

auguste wrote:

The melee weapon is optional if you enjoy dying , think you are resourcefull enough to find a melee weapon in a tight spot or if you happen to have a gun with a chainsaw under it.
http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/9/2008/04/thumb160x_chainsaw_gun_cliffyb.jpg
Guaranteed to cut up you and the zombies at the same time.

You were so going to be part of my Ninja-Zombie Killer Squad until then. Very Happy

Nurse Nasty wrote:

No chainsaws either. Too messy and we all know an accidental chainsaw injury is never 'just a flesh wound'. You were warned.

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 2:30 pm

I'm sorry, but you guys wouldn't survive in the long run. Sure, fire arms are great in the beginning, but you can't rely on those. Sooner or later the ammo runs out and then you're just a sitting duck because you haven't learn how to defend yourselves properly.

As it has been said before, stealth is your best weapon. For transportation; forget about the roaring trucks and super fast ferraris. They're good for a quick getaway when you're trapped, but that's it. If you run out of fuel you're busted. If you do ride a car, make sure you have a bike. Again, it's silent, it's easy to repair, and it's quicker than the zombies limping around at 5mph.

The second most important thing next to stealth is never staying at the same place. And when you do stay at the same place, make sure you're in an open field. Surviving in the city? Hah. Forget it.

For weaponry? 1 firearm, as emergency weapon. Should not be deployed unless really, REALLY necessairy. My advice would be to carry 1-2 katana's, and an axe. Katana's for battle, the axe to cut down trees and gain access to houses/whatever. Can be used as weapon too.

In the end, your best weapon is your head. Not by headbutting zombies, but using your brains. Set traps with what you can find. Don't rely on your precious firearms.

Oh, and don't travel in groups bigger than 4. That's the absolute maximum.

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 2:34 pm

Your brains are so going to eaten.

A motorbike? Zombie hordes remember...

When you're being mobbed and slashing your zombie attackers with a potato peeler, I'll be in my nice big truck of doom waiting for you to scream, 'OKAY. YOU'RE RIGHT!'

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 2:35 pm

Unfortunately, here in the UK we have very restrictive gun laws. The UK government has bought in draconian measures due to a few previous shooting incidents that restrict the UK citizens' rights to bear firearms even during the Zombie Armageddon. Don't get me started - I could write a whole thread on the subject.

But anyway, how should I prepare myself weapon-wise to tackle the zombie menace?

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 2:39 pm

Not a motorbike. A bycicle.

The rule is never to engage contact with zombies, why do you think I said you should stay in open places? You see them coming from miles away, you jump on your bikes, and get out. Silently.

Have fun in your truck. They're not very agile, you know. Easy to get stuck.

Quote:

You were so going to be part of my Ninja-Zombie Killer Squad until then

Ninja's don't drive trucks. Trucks are the least stealth of all vehicles. Besides tanks, perhaps.

I don't think I'd ever want to be in a Ninja squad run by you Wink

Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 2:46 pm

Nurse Nasty wrote:

You were so going to be part of my Ninja-Zombie Killer Squad until then. Very Happy

Notice how i'm suggesting other people should wield chainsaws.
Notice that last line. I personally won't mind that other people that aren't part of my survival group cut themselves to pieces. The zombies will feast on their remains and he/she won't turn into a walking undead. Maybe a crawling undead. I personally will only carry a melee weapon until i'm running low on ammo. Then i'll consider it.
I call it the darwinism of the zombie apocalypse , survival of the fittest , zombie style.

On the matters of armor : KEVLAR. The kind militairy / police officers have.
First idiot to suggest chainmail or plate armor is considered tinned food. Those things weigh an insane amount. The only use they have in a zombie apocalypse is to slow down the bait of the group when you need to get out of dodge fast.

For those that are wondering on the scientific ways the end will come , i found an article. It even has scientific in the title.
http://www.cracked.com/article_15643_5-scientific-reasons-zombie-apocalypse-could-actually-happen.html

also some good advice :
Stockpiles.
Now alot of people look like a kid in a candy store when they enter a gun shop. Then when you tell them they can't carry evrything , you are suddenly the bad guy and they still try. To stop this from happening suggest making stockpiles.
Stockpile large amounts of weapons and ammo on defendable and practical positions. Don't worry about zombies seeing the obvious stockpile , they still don't use guns.
This will mean that even if you get in a tight spot , you will have a location where you can fall back to and restock on food and ammo.
now some people will ask , why not just leave it in the shop and remember where the foodshop / gunstore is ?
Because you won't be the only one out there. There will be other survivors. Now its bad form taking evrything in a shop , but nobody will hold it against you if you stock up on the best items in the shop. Just be sure to leave enough that the next survivor that comes after you won't feel like a total idiot fighting through a zombie horde to reach the shop. Because that guy might be you.
Now , this doesn't mean the other survivors will leave you some spares after they have ransaked the shop. their corpse is probably shambling somewhere in the city , loaded with ammo.

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