Fresh Assassin Lad. "Ken" Update: 30 Dec - New scr

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Posted: Mon Dec 28, 2009 8:27 pm

^^ He's a bit busy now, look at all the people he has to assassinate on the same day!

Posted: Mon Dec 28, 2009 8:36 pm

The response that I reeived had one additional line:

Code:

YOU DON’T NEED A BANK ACCOUNT TO PAY THAT BILL, GO AS FAR AS ANY WESTERN UNION AND MAKE THE PAYMENT RIGHT AWAY..

I just went of on him about his small brain etc. will wait and see if that gets him off script. Very Happy

Posted: Mon Dec 28, 2009 9:03 pm

I just sent this off to the lad... too bad Buck doesn't know what a GBP is...

Quote:

Dear Ken,

Id like to fix this cause I dont want to die at only 65 but I dont unnerstand what you want. Whats a gpb? We got US dollars here, and Messican pesos, but I asked the fella at the bank if he had a gpb and he said he didn't know what I was talking about.

Also, if your talkin 13000 pesos, I can get that together in a day or two (im pretty good at poker at the Bull Roar Saloon here) but 13000 dollars is going to take me a few days to round up. Can I pay this off sorta like on payments?

Also, tell your boys that Im sorry, but the hotel here is a real bad place to stay. Tell 'em to try Mei Lings Oriental House of Joy right next to the saloon. The room service is top notch.

Let me know what I can do here.

Buck

Posted: Mon Dec 28, 2009 9:43 pm

This just in:

Quote:

ken wilson
to me

show details 10:34 PM (9 hours ago)

hello *****

Thank you very much then, but for your notice, for now the person that want you dead is anonymous, if you read the first email i sent you very carefully you will know what i m talking about. Honestly my boys wanted to strike when i notice you are been stubborn, i don't believe i have anything to discuss with you.

As soon as i confirm your payment immediately, i will send my boy to drop the discussion tape of the person that want you dead right away and i will direct you to collect it immediately. for your notice my boys are still watching every step you have made and i have every record with me now.

make payment immediately via western union at any location next to you, your payment details as follows:

Receiver name : kEN WILSON
Country: UNITED KINGDOM
amount: 13,000.00GBP
test question: BOY
test answer: GIRL

for security purpose you are to send the cash to united kingdom, and as soon as i get you payment i will order my boys immediately to drop with you the tape of discussion.

You are to send attached copy of your payment details to me and the Money Transfer control Number (MTCN) immediately. you have just 24hours to make payment.

Await your reply with the payment details.

Good luck to **** .

BEST REGARD
KEN

Much more polite than i thought a hitman would be

Posted: Mon Dec 28, 2009 11:37 pm

Mr. John Jacob Jingleheimerschmidt has also replied but is having a hell of a time getting his bank to exchange dollars for pounds in order to avoid the inevitable whacking from the boys. It won't be until Thursday I can even have the money so I've asked for an extension. Hell, I can't even walk my dog after 9:00PM until this whole thing is straightened out. Its pretty much robbed all the joy out of the holiday season knowing a cold blooded and ruthless killer is after me.

Posted: Tue Dec 29, 2009 7:12 am

We have a cosy message exchange going.
assassinboi writes
I HAVE BEEN PAYING BILLS FOR HOTEL AND ACCOMODATION FOR MY BOYS AND I M NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT.

I respond, utterly frantic. My wife's gone into labour and I can't leave the hospital. The doctors want me to sign the papers to give permission for a Caesarian operation.

I don't understand why assassinboi isn't interested in my proposed 100% risky-free b@nk fr@ud I've set up, either.

Posted: Tue Dec 29, 2009 8:24 am

Requesting permission for dollar chop?

Master Baiter Joined: 13 May 2006 Posts: 123

I sent him an MTCN, which should be enough, I mean he should know my first and last name surely!

Quote:

YOU HAVE BEEN REQUIRED TO SEND A SCAN COPY OF YOUR PAYMENT DETAIL, AND YOU PAYMENT INFORMATION
THAT IS FIRST AND LAST NAME OF SENDER AND FOR YOU NOTICE I CAN NOT BE HONEST WITH YOU HAVE TO SEND IT IMMEDIATELY, BECAUSE I HAVE ALREADY GIVE MY BOYS ORDER TO STRIKE I JUST WITHDRAW THE ORDER IMMEDIATELY

SEND ME THE REQUIRE INFORMATION AND DON'T FUCK WITH THIS. OR ELSE I PITY YOUR POOR LIFE IS GOING TO END JUST LIKE THAT, I M STUPID, YOU DON'T SMART, THIS WHOLE THING SEEN LIKE A JOKE TO YOU, YOU RE GOING TO KISS YOUR GRAVE, MEANWHILE MAKING THIS CASH WORTH MORE THAN YOUR OWN LIFE.

YOU HAVE TO SEND THE SCAN COPY OF THEPAYMENT DETAILS IMMEDIATELY.

AWAIT YOU RESPONSE IMMEDIATELY.

REGARDS
KEN

Posted: Tue Dec 29, 2009 9:29 pm

I guess he's given up on Cammy since she told him about her brother. Fair enough - why tackle an SASR captain?

Posted: Tue Dec 29, 2009 11:33 pm

I got this:

Quote:

HELLO!

I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME ON THIS JOB, I WILL GIVE YOU JUST TODAY TO MAKE THE PAYMENT BECAUSE THE PERSON THAT WANT YOU DEAD IS ON MY NECK SO EVERYTHING DEPENDS ON YOUR ACTION, IF I DON'T RECEIVE THE PAYMENT DETAILS I WILL HAVE NO CHOICE THAN TO CARRY OUT THE JOB. BEAR THIS IN MIND I M NOT ASKING YOU I M TELLING YOU. WHAT I CAN DO, AFTER ALL I HAVE BEEN PAID FOR THIS JOB, YOU GOT MY FIRST MAIL OUT OF PITY, AND I HAVE YOUR NUMBER, YOUR PICS AND EVERYTHING I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I DON'T WANT TO CALL YOU. IF YOU THINK I M JOKING. THEN I GUEST, I M NOT HERE TO JOKE WITH EMAILS.. I M DONE WITH SENDING YOU EMAILS..

YOU HAVE THE LAST CHANCE TO MAKE THE PAYMENT AND SEND MY THE SCAN COPY WITH THE PAYMENT DETAIL.

GOODBYE TO YOU.

REGARDS
KEN

So polite. I'd suggest introducing him to Mike Tango Charlie November S3cure. Laughing

Posted: Tue Dec 29, 2009 11:44 pm

Quote:

test question: BOY
test answer: GIRL

A true testament to lad logic.

Posted: Wed Dec 30, 2009 12:36 am

'Just one last chance' - just way to hilarious

Not quite a Newb Joined: 06 Jun 2009 Posts: 78

I didn't get my reply... :'(

Posted: Wed Dec 30, 2009 2:23 am

This guy is completely and utterly inundated. I'll bet he's going to his oga thinking he's hit the jackpot. Laughing

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 19 Dec 2009 Posts: 2

I'm a bit of a noob with all of this but I've got a few ongoing and decided to have a go at this... sent off two replies from separate emails.

Quote:

it was my brother Jack who set you up to do this to me wasn't it?!

LOOK. I've got 3 months to live. I'm terminally ILL, I've got cancer of the blood and it's inoperable. He is in line as my next of kin to gain my ENTIRE vast fortune of 40 Million Great British Pounds as I have no other family. He's after my vast fortunes and wants to get hold of them quicker. If he has put you up to this, I will happily pay you 20 million pounds dollars in straight cash if you spare my life and take out my brother instead. I've got nothing to live for, and if you kill me you are gaining a small amount of money compared to how much he will gain. So please think about this before sending me a new email.

Your's faithfully,

Hugh Jarvis

and;

Quote:

Date: Thu, 31 Dec 2009 00:17:47 +0000

ok, ok, ok ok..... what exactly am I meant to do?

Please, I don't want to die! I'll do whatever it takes.

Tell me who you are and everything I have to do. Please! just tell
me what I need to do to survive. I don't want any of my family to
die because of somebody threatening me.

Posted: Thu Dec 31, 2009 1:42 am

UPDATE: 30 Dec 2009 16:48:54

Little Ken has sent a new hitlad email to my catcher account. Same email address but the script is slightly different. This would be a good opportunity for new baiters to get some hitlad experience under their belt or an opportunity for current baiters to introduce a new character.

Quote:

X-Apparently-To: *****@yahoo.com via 206.190.39.245; Wed, 30 Dec 2009 08:49:49 -0800
Return-Path: <[email protected]>
X-YahooFilteredBulk: 65.55.34.20
X-YMailISG: Snipped long code
X-Originating-IP: [65.55.34.20]
Authentication-Results: mta1020.mail.ac4.yahoo.com from=live.com; domainkeys=neutral (no sig); from=live.com; dkim=neutral (no sig)
Received: from 127.0.0.1 (EHLO col0-omc1-s10.col0.hotmail.com) (65.55.34.20) by mta1020.mail.ac4.yahoo.com with SMTP; Wed, 30 Dec 2009 08:49:48 -0800
Received: from COL103-W50 ([65.55.34.9]) by col0-omc1-s10.col0.hotmail.com with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.3959); Wed, 30 Dec 2009 08:48:54 -0800
Message-ID: <[email protected]>
Return-Path: [email protected]
Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="_cde6cba3-2a3b-4366-b2b2-55b51fc48257_"
X-Originating-IP: [82.128.113.136]
From: ken wilson <[email protected]>
Subject: YOU HAVE LESS THAN 48 HOURS
Date: Wed, 30 Dec 2009 16:48:54 +0000
Importance: Normal
MIME-Version: 1.0
Bcc:
X-OriginalArrivalTime: 30 Dec 2009 16:48:54.0902 (UTC) FILETIME=[F9378160:01CA896F]
Content-Length: 8897

Attention:

I felt very sorry for you, that your life is going to end this way if you fail to comply, no matter how much security you can acquire, everything will depend on you to choose you own path, i was paid to eliminate you and I have to do it within 5 days. Someone wants you dead by all means, and the person have spent a lot of money on this, the person came telling us that he wants you dead and he Provided us your names, photograph, internet cafes, western union locations and other necessary information we needed about you. If you are in doubt of this, then I will have no option that to carry out my duty immediately.

Meanwhile, I have sent my Boys to track you down and they have carried out the necessary investigation needed for the operation, but I ordered them to stop for a while and not to strike immediately because I just felt something good and sympathetic about you. I decided to contact you first and know why somebody will want you dead by all means, probably I believe you have done something very terrible to him. Right now my men are monitoring you, their eyes are on you, and even the places you think is safer for you to hide might not be. Now do you want to LIVE OR DIE? It is up to you. Get back to me now if you are ready to enter deal with me, I mean life trade, who knows, and I might just spear your life, TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS 20,000.00 is all you need to spend. You will first of all pay THIRTEEN THOUSAND, DOLLARS 13,000.00 then I will send the tape of the person that want you dead to you and when the tape gets to you, you will pay the remaining THREE THOUSAND,DOLLARS 3,000 . If you are not ready, then I will have no choice but to carry on the assignment, after all I have already been paid before now.

WARNING TO YOU: Do not think of contacting the COP or even tell anyone as Well as employees of CRIME FIGHTERS because I will extend it to any member of your family since you are aware that somebody wants you dead, and the person knows all members of your family.

And For your own good I will advise you not to go out alone once it is 9pm until I make out time to see you and give you the tape of my discussion with the person who want you dead then you can use it to take any legal action.

Good luck as I await your urgent respond. Do response to me on this email…

If also you think you can ignore this mail and feel all is well then let’s see.

You’ve less than 48 hours to reply this mail.THIS IS THE PAYMENT DETAILS THROUGH VIA WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER

RECEIVERS NAME:KEN WILSON

COUNTRY:U.K

TEXT QUESTION:FREEDOM

TEXT ANSWER:LOVE

IF YOU WHICH TO LIVE YOU HAVE LESS THAN 48 HOURS .

REGARDS:

KEN (ASSASSIN).

Posted: Thu Dec 31, 2009 2:16 am

He hasn't replied to V1kt0r Sh1ller's fretting e-mail about finding him in V4nu4tu. I tend to agree with SSA (I believe) who said that Ken's a little too busy now to reply to new e-mails. I hope he has an oga smart enough to actually do more than send scripted messages!

Posted: Thu Dec 31, 2009 3:07 am

Knowing full well I want back in as he dropped the ditz, Amanda 3 Musselmann sent him a "How did you get this account?" email

Posted: Thu Dec 31, 2009 3:43 pm

I got this bloke today! He obviously can't take the hint from you lot!

From:"k£n wilson" <K£[email protected]> [Add]
To:
Date:Wed, 30 Dec 2009 5:00 PM (22 hours 38 mins ago)
View as text - Show originalHide full headerReturn-Path: <k£[email protected]>
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From: ken wilson <k£[email protected]>
Subject: YOU HAVE LESS THAN 48 HOURS
Date: Wed, 30 Dec 2009 17:00:22 +0000
Importance: Normal
MIME-Version: 1.0
X-OriginalArrivalTime: 30 Dec 2009 17:00:23.0089 (UTC) FILETIME=[93688210:01CA8971]
X-Truedomain-SPF: Pass
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X-Truedomain: NeutralAttention:

I felt very sorry for you, that your life is going to end this way if you fail to comply, no matter how much security you can acquire, everything will depend on you to choose you own path, i was paid to eliminate you and I have to do it within 5 days. Someone wants you dead by all means, and the person have spent a lot of money on this, the person came telling us that he wants you dead and he Provided us your names, photograph, internet cafes, western union locations and other necessary information we needed about you. If you are in doubt of this, then I will have no option that to carry out my duty immediately.

Meanwhile, I have sent my Boys to track you down and they have carried out the necessary investigation needed for the operation, but I ordered them to stop for a while and not to strike immediately because I just felt something good and sympathetic about you. I decided to contact you first and know why somebody will want you dead by all means, probably I believe you have done something very terrible to him. Right now my men are monitoring you, their eyes are on you, and even the places you think is safer for you to hide might not be. Now do you want to LIVE OR DIE? It is up to you. Get back to me now if you are ready to enter deal with me, I mean life trade, who knows, and I might just spear your life, TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS 20,000.00 is all you need to spend. You will first of all pay THIRTEEN THOUSAND, DOLLARS 13,000.00 then I will send the tape of the person that want you dead to you and when the tape gets to you, you will pay the remaining THREE THOUSAND,DOLLARS 3,000 . If you are not ready, then I will have no choice but to carry on the assignment, after all I have already been paid before now.

WARNING TO YOU: Do not think of contacting the COP or even tell anyone as Well as employees of CRIME FIGHTERS because I will extend it to any member of your family since you are aware that somebody wants you dead, and the person knows all members of your family.

And For your own good I will advise you not to go out alone once it is 9pm until I make out time to see you and give you the tape of my discussion with the person who want you dead then you can use it to take any legal action.

Good luck as I await your urgent respond. Do response to me on this email…

If also you think you can ignore this mail and feel all is well then let’s see.

You’ve less than 48 hours to reply this mail.THIS IS THE PAYMENT DETAILS THROUGH VIA WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER

RECEIVERS NAME:K£N WILSON

COUNTRY:U.K

TEXT QUESTION:FREEDOM

TEXT ANSWER:LOVE

IF YOU WHICH TO LIVE YOU HAVE LESS THAN 48 HOURS .

REGARDS:

K£N (ASSASSIN).

My first assassin!!!! Watch this space Razz

P.S.
The name 'K£n' doesn't really fill the heart with cold dread does it? If Darth Vader had been called 'K£N' the Star Wars films would have been sh#t!

Posted: Thu Dec 31, 2009 4:05 pm

Kene sent me the same script I first got, so I won't post it again. what I will post however is the response. I decide to run with the tape theme.

OH YEAH, NSFW!!!

TAPE??? You have the tape? OMG! If my tennis coach gets wind of me fucking his wife for all those years he will expel me from the Australian Tennis team. I blew the money on cocaine, but I will do anything you ask, and I MEAN anything! Did I mention I give the world's best blowjobs? How about I suck your dick until the debt is paid?

We have to work out something

Mandy

Posted: Thu Dec 31, 2009 5:44 pm

^^^
Oh my goodness...I can't wait to see how he replies to that!

Posted: Fri Jan 01, 2010 12:26 pm

Hi international

Just to let you know that I have bought this contract from ken and I accept your offer!! Happy new year x

Posted: Fri Jan 01, 2010 1:01 pm

So i get a reply from Ken. I think he's so snowed under he hasn't even GOTTEN to my last note. He sent the standard reply to my "how did you get this account" email.

I've decided to see if I can turn my hitman bait into a blackmail bait and then maybe into a romance bait. I sent this back, sending him a photo of Australian white witch Deborah Gray:

How do I know if you have the right tape??? Did you WATCH it? MY politician husband will divorce me if he sees me seducing the wife of the Australian Olympic Tennis society lead coach. The way you see me go down on her naked body will have my husband in fits of rage. And that damn tennis coach, what a LOSER! But he can do damage if he knew I was screwing his wife.

Ken, you sound like a reasonable man. Don't send him the tape, my life will be RUINED! I have attached a pic so you will see what I loook like. I need my marraige and if you want to blackmail me over the tapethen you will need my husband's money. You send him the tape and we're done

Mandy

edited for the inclusin of said white witch

Posted: Fri Jan 01, 2010 8:19 pm

I guess he's snowed under. Sad

I've been out of town so I was afraid I'd miss the fun, but he never even replied to my first message.

I'll see how he responds to increasing panic.

Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2010 3:56 am

Dearest Assasain Ken

I am so sorry for not responding within the 24 hour deadline, (no pun intended) but I have been out making merry with my friends over the Christmas Holidays and to tell you the truth we had a ripping good time with some really young Romanian girls, a Lithuanian tranvestite named çuÈddinskiç Ýam Õíö and a brace of ,misbehaved spider monkeys in a hot tub full of cheap white wine and a pair of snorkels. Wow....again...this time backwards....woW. That was nice and a night to remember. Well, I do digress, sorry about that. Let me see, by my calculations I had 24 hours to respond and screwed that up and now it is 48 hours into the threat with me having just 3 days according to my calendar. That should be enough time for me to save my life by complying with your demands and sending the requisite amount of British money. No, wait, a bit of bad news, I can't exchange my dollars for pounds until Thursday because the bank actually has to order the pounds from the international monetary exchange in New York, so I am asking...no begging you to be patient with me and allow me a little more time than the 5 days to get my stuff together and get the money to you. 20,000 pounds is a lot of money. The math is might confusing as well because try as I might I just can't, even using the new math my kids learned in school get 13,500 and 3,500 to add up to 20,000. I keep getting 17,000, well here let me show you what I'm doing and maybe you can enlighten me on what I am doing wrong. Working the figures has cost me valuable time and the clock is ticking. Please look at my work below.

1. ∑_3500^13500▒〖17000 (-13500 lim┬(n→∞)⁡〖(1+1/n)^n 〗 b±√(b^2-4ac))/2x3500a〗

and then I take the answer from this and cross multiply with the 13,500 and then add after dividing the 3,500 and this is what I get. 2. 20000-13500 max┬(0≤x≤1)⁡〖xe^(-x^2 ) 〗 ∬▒65000

Then I plug in the numbers on this handy dandy computer math program I have and that is where it all goes to hell as you can clearly see in the example below.

3.⋃_13500^3500▒〖17000e^(-tiθ) dy/dx Δy/Δx π/2 20000〗

Please take a good look at my work and critique where necessary. I feel that whether I am going to live or die I want to polish my math skills and feel that you just might be the "Einstein" of the African Continent based on what I have gathered thus far in my short time dealing with you and I too want to learn how to add 13,500 to 3,500 and come up with 20,000. Truly amazing and cutting edge number crunching you goobers are doing over there. We are still stuck in the ole 2+2=4 primitive math over here and it is time for us to discard that antiquated system and embrace your particular style of "new math".

Now you mention not going out alone because it is after 9:00 PM but I must take my dog for a short walk so that she might soil the neighbors lawn with doggey do do. Like this I don't have to deal with it. Please have your Boys stand down as I leave the house with the dog. Just a simple buzz on their earphone high tech telecommunications with the phrase, "stand down" should be sufficient as every assasain worth a shit knows what "stand down" means. So, go ahead and give the "stand down" order and I'll head to the door for my nightly dog walk.

Thanking you in advance for spearing my life at least momentarily and for allowing me to walk the dog and for taking a look at what the hell I'm doing wrong in math. You are a true professional and I quake in fear at the thought of you coming for me and do pray that you will find it in your heart to spear my life and that you will be patient with me in acquiring the necessary funding to purchase my life from you and what not. It is not easy being the victim here and I can just imagine that it is not easy being a professional cold blooded assasain either.

I am humbly and sincerely yours.

With all my love.

Mr. Barry McCockiner, Jr. III, Esquire, (Millionaire Philanthropist and all around good guy and a great bunch of neighbors)

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