Darwin award nominee #255

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Posted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 1:04 am

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/world/news/article.cfm?c_id=2&objectid=10616354

Elite Baiter Joined: 16 Jul 2008 Posts: 1407

Quote:

Thomas Robert Edwards, 20, who was working at Chester Zoo at the time of the incident, denied the charge of trying to sexually penetrate a living animal.

Because...had the dog been dead it would have been ok?

And aren't the Darwin Awards for those that are dead?

Posted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 4:45 am

^^ I think people who do absolutely stupid things get nominated too, please correct if I'm wrong.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

Quote:

Edwards, of Hope, in North Wales admitted seven charges of possessing extreme pornography, though claimed the films had been downloaded onto his computer by accident.

Yeah, right. Laughing

Quote:

. . . was hoping to go to college and to work with animals.

I hope not!

Posted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 6:18 am

I am gobsmacked at this sentence:

Quote:

Edwards claimed he had merely been stroking the dog in the back-garden

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 26 Sep 2008 Posts: 689

I think a BJ with said rotweiller might have got him the much coveted award ... Laughing

Posted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 8:06 am

ParaNoid wrote:

I am gobsmacked at this sentence:

Quote:

Edwards claimed he had merely been stroking the dog in the back-garden

Had he been stroking the beast in the front-garden, the mental image is still just as awful. Sorry, the double entendres just abound. Mad

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2007 Posts: 2628

To quote the Darwin Awards website

Quote:

The Darwin Awards salute the improvement of
the human genome by honoring those who
accidentally remove themselves from it...

I think if the dog had turned and bitten him in the scrotum he'd would have qualified no problem

http://www.darwinawards.com/ for more amazingly stupid stories.

Its amazing how so many people claim porn of any degree gets onto their computer by accident.
I suppose they may be clicking over and over again by accident

Posted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 2:05 pm

Yeppers @ Nanny Ogg

Tastysnack wrote:

And aren't the Darwin Awards for those that are dead?

Nope, it's for those whom Father Chuck plucks from the gene pool. Continuing to breath is allowed, continuing to reproduce is not.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 06 Jun 2009 Posts: 78

I'm sorry but this raises the question; "Could you have picked a dog more likely to bite off your bollocks?"

Posted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 5:40 pm

Rotties, properly brought up, can be very well adjusted and friendly dogs... but I doubt that they would be quite *that* friendly Smile

In a rather unusual twist thanks to the bizarre legal system we have in the UK he can get a longer sentence for possession of horseporn (3 years) than he could for actually diddling the dog (2 years). Go figure Rolling Eyes

Posted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 8:01 pm

I understand that the Darwin Awards are given to those who make extraordinary efforts to cull the herd, whether they survive or not. I think it would be safer to try to give a wildcat a hand job than to try to shtup a Rottweiler.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 06 Jun 2009 Posts: 78

sunshine wrote:

Rotties, properly brought up, can be very well adjusted and friendly dogs... but I doubt that they would be quite *that* friendly Smile

In a rather unusual twist thanks to the bizarre legal system we have in the UK he can get a longer sentence for possession of horseporn (3 years) than he could for actually diddling the dog (2 years). Go figure Rolling Eyes

Can I ask how you came by that knowledge? Very Happy

Posted: Sat Dec 19, 2009 10:53 am

^^^ could not possibly say.

Sunshine
Prisoner No. 419419419
HMP Wormwood Scrubs

Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 3193

The Darwin Awards also offer an Honourable Mention for those who make a good effort to remove themselves from the gene pool but fail.

Posted: Sun Dec 20, 2009 2:07 am

There seem to be a few lists circulating that mix up Darwin nominations (some of which aren't proper Darwins anyway) with embarrassment anecdotes and dumb crook tales. One turned up so often I kept a rebuttal notice on file just for that one.

And on OT:

"You know, I once entered my dog at Cruft's."
"Did you get anything?"
"Six months, pending a psychiatric report."

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