Safari: Tosser 0gugu0 don land in Bamako, mali

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Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2009 9:32 pm

I've run out of things to frustrate 0guguo the Tosser in preparation for his trip to Mali, he's scanned and rescanned the necessary documents, filled and refilled all the forms. The buses for the 300 mile trip to Bamako, Mali only leave Ouagadougou Saturdays and Wednesdays, so a Tuesday evening was chosen as the best time for him to be at the missionary camp to pick up his money. I told him he'll be collected in a 4x4 at Bamako Market at 8:30 on Tuesday evening. Given his level of knowledge of the area, it's looking pretty good so far..

Quote:

,Thank you for your mail and i thank God that everything is working normally.

I dont know Bamako and has never been to Mali before.
So i will urge you to make all neccessary arrangements so that i will not get stranded or encounter some difficulties in Mali.

I will leave Ouagadougou on saturday to avoid any mishap and i suggest if they will come to pick me up at the station of SKV TRANSPORT IN BAMAKO since i dont know anywhere in BAMAKO.

Is it possible?

I am equally suggesting that the 28,000 dollars be divided into two and changed in travellers cheque and the rest in cash to avoid carrying too much money in cash.

This will help me a lot.

I am waiting to hear from you
Remain Shagged
Thanks
T0SSER 0GUGU0 NW0SU.

I'll post here when he arrives.

Posted: Thu Nov 26, 2009 4:40 pm

Quote:

I am still waiting for your response in respect to my last mail to you.

I have gone through your mails perhaps for the tempth time and sometimes i get confused.

I have one pertinent question to ask you my dear sister in the LORD.

Is there any secrecy involved in the berotherhood?

Why am being asked to go and stay anywhere around the market to be picked by 8.30 p.m in the night?

He was getting cold feet, but with the introduction of a new character, he's back on track. What's best is that he's forgotten, as I hoped by only mentioning it in passing, that the meeting is scheduled for Tuesday. He seems to be thinking he'll be picked up from the bus depot as soon as he arrives, but I have the email containing the details of the appointment to wave under his nose when he finds a cybercafe in Bamako and whines.

Quote:

,

I received your mail which has aroused my morals.

Yes i have experienced a lot of difficulties to receive our chapel funds over the past years.
As previously arranged,i will arrive in Bamako as scheduled.

I will contact you on your email address as soon as i arrive and i will be in the ******* which i understand is situated in

****** ******* *******..
TEL.00223 ******

Remain Shagged
TOSSER 0GUGU0 NW0SU.

He'll be waiting there until Tuesday night, then. All being well, he'll be on his way this Saturday.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Thu Nov 26, 2009 4:58 pm

Good luck with your Tosser, PDS. Very Happy

Every time I see "Remain Shagged," on this guy's emails, I spill my coffee. Laughing

Posted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 11:32 am

IP: 196.200.89.218

Country: Mali
State/Region: 01
City: Bamako
Latitude: 12.65
Longitude: -8

Well, it's about 300 miles. Not that far, but a day's travel, across a border, and over the 200 miles in our unwritten rulebook. I'll get back to him tomorrow, let's allow his oga to rack up a bit of a hotel bill. The guyman he travelled with will probably be the one pouring the milk on his head in my avatar.

Quote:

Respected .

Happy good morning to you.
This is to inform you that i have arrived in Bamako safely after a hectic journey from Ouagadougou.
So Respected ,i will like the person you will send to meet me in Hotel Residence Bouna à l'A .C.I vers place de la CAN.at LAFIAGOUGOU.

I am waiting on you to hear further instructions from you and the possible time of appointment with whomever you will send.

I dont know anywhere in Bamako here neither do i know anybody but it was a person whom i met in the bus that guided me through tilll am here in Bamako.

Remain blessed while i wait to hear from you.

I will be checking my email constantly.
My friend the person i met in the bus gave me his telephone number and is staying around with me.

I can be contacted on his number:********

Thanks
T0SSER 0GUGU0 NW0SU

Trophy Videos · Posted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 5:43 pm

Congratulations, PDS! Very Happy

The lad won't suffer too much. Look at the nice hotel he'll be lounging at!
http://bouna.ifrance.com/
I sure hope he can pay the bill. Smile

Posted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 11:01 pm

I doubt it. I forgot about him for several hours due to work, but it looks like he might've been depending on the promised fortune to pay the bill, and get home too. Lads always pull this guilt trip crap though. If only...

Quote:

Respected

I am highly getting worried of not hearing from you.

I dont want to get stranded in Mali which has been my only fears before i left ouagadougou and i beg you that this situation should not arrive on me here in m Mali.

I am looking forward to read from you since our appointment is by tomorrow being the 2nd day of december 2009.If my proposition of where to meet is not favourable to you,you can arrange for another place here in Bamako.

Remain blessed
Thanks
TOSSER 0GUGU0 NW0SU

I'll tell him our mainframe went down or something, and reschedule the handover for a couple of days time.

Posted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 11:06 pm

He's a puppet on a string, PDS. Topnotch as usual!

Posted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 11:19 pm

Ha ha, the tosser made a new little friend on the bus. Ain't that sweet? Good job as always PDS! clapping

Posted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 11:28 pm

The script for the main act is still being written, but ultimately the plan is that the geeman who ripped him off last time he was about to collect is going to do it yet again. Following this, I have a few ideas about who to finger as the culprit. He's going to be a tad annoyed when he gets home.

I'm sure he booked a nice hotel purely because of his expected big payday, no matter whether he has enough money to pay the bill and get home or not. It's costing him plenty and paying the wages of the locals in that hotel, so it's all good.

Posted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 11:57 pm

Lads in distress are so entertaining. clapping

Posted: Wed Dec 02, 2009 12:04 am

Posted: Wed Dec 02, 2009 12:17 am

I just love it when lads opt to take the luxury route in anticipation of getting the money to pay for it. Superb baiting, PDS. I hope your lad has a marvelous stay. Very Happy

Posted: Wed Dec 02, 2009 12:51 am

Really extraordinary Surprised

Isn´t this the longest ongoing bait in scambaiting history?

Hope his worst dreams will come true : Being stranded in Mali with no money, avec rièn d´argent! Voilá! Twisted Evil

Posted: Wed Dec 02, 2009 9:42 am

I emailed him just after midnight UTC last night, to say all of his emails had only just arrived, and I would be sending someone to pick him up 'soon' which is a fairly broad term Wink

No reply yet, so I'm hoping he and his friend have set off for the non-existent missionary camp about 4 miles from Moriba-Bougou. That would involve an 8 mile hike along the bank of the Niger, taking in some exotic local wildlife along the way. Hippos and crocs will be the main source of entertainment I think, along with one of the largest herds of Africa Elephants. Those male ones can get feisty.

Posted: Wed Dec 02, 2009 12:32 pm

^^^Not counting malaria mosquitoes, Hippos are the deadliest animals in Africa. Let's hope he takes a dip in the right holes!

Posted: Wed Dec 02, 2009 1:42 pm

Ah, he's back at the hotel. I'll do all I can to get him out of town, but he claimed to be 'afraid of rivers' in an email last week.

Quote:

Respected

I am in the hotel now and i willl like you His Majesty to let me know the time you will dispatch the pastor to me here in the hotel.

The hotel is extremely expensive and i will like you to help me out of this agony as a matter of urgency so that i will quickly return back to ouagadougou.

I attach my telephone number here for the pastor which i equally left with the hotel management.

Tel;********
Waiting for urgent response from you.

Remùain Shagged
Thanks

I'll treat his agony with the utmost urgency of course, his agony is very important to us. Laughing

I'll reply to him later this evening chastising him for not informing me he was about to leave Ouaga, and schedule the handover for later tomorrow, unless he can meet the pastor halfway along the Niger.

Posted: Wed Dec 02, 2009 3:56 pm

More lad poetry....

Quote:

Respected
iI am not lodging in the hotel as i wrote to you.

I am in the reception of the hotel since morning till about 12.30 when i went to take my launch.

I am still there now.
Please help me out now so that i can go back to ouagadougou because i am exhausting all the money with me on transport.

Are you sure the pastor gt to the hotel?

I left informations with the hotel receptionist together with mly name before i left to eat together with telephone number.

Please i am there in the hotel now.

The hotel is RESIDENCE HOTEL DOUNIA ACI 2000 HAMDALLAYE OFF ROND POINT PLACE CAN

I am always on the net waiting for your mail.

Respected ,please if this transaction will not ork out,i beg you in the name of GOD to let me know so that i will know what to do to get back to ouagadougou.

Remain Blessed in the Lords
Thanks

And...

Quote:

Respected

Please the correct name of the hotel is RESIDENCE HOTEL BOUNA.
ACI 2000 HAMDALAYE OFF ROND POINT PLACE DE LA CAN.

I am in the lobby of the hotel and i am wearing black suit.

I am highly worried.

My head is about to get explosed because if i get this disappointment,it will be very catastrophic for me here in bamako.

Thanks

Trophy Videos · Posted: Wed Dec 02, 2009 4:37 pm

Tell him to put on a hat if his head is cold. What could possibly be catastrophic? Laughing

He's so dramatic!

Posted: Wed Dec 02, 2009 4:59 pm

Well would you believe it your friend is within walking distance of an old TWAT church (although no longer in use as a church) Sad

Maybe he can be persuaded to go visit, if so then he should have his photo taken for posterity. Very Happy

Posted: Wed Dec 02, 2009 5:16 pm

So have any TWATs visited that pyramid church in the past? Or is it just used as an example of what they need to build?

Meanwhile, another anguished cry from bamako:

Quote:

I received your mail.

I am still waiting because i am highly worried and afraid if this transaction does not work out,i will be in dilema to go back to Ouagadougou.

So i am counting on your magnanimity and hope that you will fulfill your words and your promises.

That 'fulfil your promises' reference always gets my blood up. He's done that quite a lot over the years, trying to manoeuvre himself into a position where he's able to complain about things the church has done to him, instead of accepting that HE's the one at fault and taking it on the chin, like he's been taught. Just for that, I won't reply until it's already dark down there and the 4x4 won't be able to make the journey until tomorrow. If he gives up and goes back to ouaga before the money runs out, it'll at least mean the bait continues easily, and he'll travel again soon.

Quote:

, why would it not work out? You are a few miles away, the money is here, we're going to get to you as soon as we have a vehicle to drive into town.
If only you had emailed or someone on monday, to say you were on the way, we could have done everything on Tuesday afternoon as we planned. And if
you had not told us you were staying in that hotel when you weren't, the money could have been handed to you very early this morning.

The pastor is waiting for our vehicle. I have the details of where you are staying. Just enjoy the city, you'll have the funds for the chapel soon.

I have to return to the operating room, an emergency has just arrived.

Remain shagged

Posted: Wed Dec 02, 2009 10:10 pm

This is a beauty:

Quote:

Respected ,

I wonder why i am being subjected to this type of suffering.

I made a distance of almost 5,000 kilometres to come down to Bamako here where i dont know anybody nor anywhere.

I need your urgent reply on this specific matter because i cannot keep waiting forever hanging in the hotel.

Please let me know the truth so that i will know what to do to get back to my family in Ouagadougou.

I am now totally in misery and only you and God will bring me out of this situation.
We concluded before i embarked on this journey and now i dont know whether this will work out or not.

We are all in the services of GOD.

Please Respected Dr Jacob,i will wait for whomever you will send to me in the hotel tomorrow morning by 9.am in the morning.

I left my contacts,includig name,telephone etc with the hotel management.

Please save my soul now.
Thanks

Err, I think he means 500 kilometers. It's amazing how much difference a zero can make, like zero dollars stolen from a church by a scammer for example.

Clearly if he leaves by 9 am tomorrow, the pastor can arrive at the hotel at 9:30 or so, leaving the planned burn by the other guyman for another day. He never fails to deliver Smile

Posted: Wed Dec 02, 2009 10:42 pm

PDS, I love lad misery, and you never fail to deliver!

Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2009 12:02 am

Thanks, we aim to please. Smile

I'm sure he must have left the posh hotel lobby by now, so just sent this:

Quote:

, are you really in Bamako? Our pastor arrived at the hotel to be informed that a man with a dark suit had waited, but left an hour before our pastor arrived. I
repeatedly indicated that you should stay put. Our pastor was forced to return. We will try to keep a vehicle free to drive into town to hand over the money tomorrow. Please wait in the
vicinity of the hotel. The car is a miltary-type 4 wheel drive jeep, bearing a red cross marking.

You did not tell us the name of the hotel you are staying in. Why does this have to be so difficult? If only you had told us you were leavingon Monday evening. I have to tell you, I am
extremely annoyed, especially after we have sent a pastor and a much needed vehicle to the hotel twice in one day.

Remain shagged

Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2009 12:39 am

Oh the whining...

He's suffering PDS. He's obviously troubled and desperate for your help. I do hope you plan to ease his pain.

Evil or Very Mad

Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2009 1:31 am

I've only just come across this thread. This lad just does not learn a lesson. A thing of beauty PsycheDelia_Smith.

clapping

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