A monument to stupidity

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Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 6:23 am

This ones a classic, I found it, got it & acquired it, This little bit of script, and went from there.

As always, if anyone would like to play,, jump in.

It's not NSFW, Yet, But it will be

Quote:

I am glad that you wrote to me.
I am waiting for your letter.
I do not know how to begin acquaintance, and that about me to tell.
But I think that we can learn about one another a lot, and our communication will be pleasant.
I would like, what would you have sent more of their photos and
answered my questions sincerely.
I love the sincerity and truth.
Whichever it was not.
I'll wait for your letter with impatience.
Your new friend Natalia!

I thought O'well if I drop it , it's no loss, So I'm baiting it as a girl.
Wonder if it will notice.
But the demented, and very beautiful Clair Voyant is up to the task

Quote:

Hallo Nat,
I hope you don't mind me calling you Nat, it's the Australian way to shorten names, we do it all the time, Thanks for sending the photo.. You have very pale milkie white skin. I would kill for a light complexion like that. But with our sun, I would suffer, especially if I was on a beach,
And we always sunbake topless, So our skin Does harden to the sun's rays. But burned nipples are no fun, and they rub on a bra, which
makes them even more painful.
I'll find you some photo's of myself, and we can talk about fashions ,
and all that girls stuff..

Thanks for replying your new friend, kisses Clair..

Does it care, does it read my reply, Nope, Nope and Nope. It just replies with it's little scripted list of questions..

Quote:

Hi, my new friend Clair well she read that bit
I am pleased to receive your letter.
I thought that you write to me or not write, and waited eagerly your
letter.
And I am happy when I received the letter.
I first read on the Internet, I looked at the profile that I gave to the
dating site and saw you.
What profile, what dating site, what photo
And you decided to write. as one does to a perfect stranger
I hope that you understand my first message.
My name is Natalia.
I am 26 years old, I have never been married.
I have a calm nature, live in the apartment of his mother.
My city name Cheboksary.
My republic called Chuvashiya.
In addition to my mother, grandmother and girlfriend have no relatives persons.
His father, I never saw his mother and said nothing about it.
Whom you work?
I am a nurse in our hospital.me too
I love my job. I just love the other nurses
I do not know what else to tell about myself.
You can tell more about themselves? urrr whatever
I want to know a lot about you.
Why have you decided to get acquainted on the Internet?
What are you looking for in a girl? I'm bisexual
What is your character?
How do you like to rest? on my back with a smile on my mug
I will be happy to answer your questions.
Ask and I shall tell about myself.
I just do not know what else to tell. in this script
What do you interested?
I hope that you write to me tomorrow.
I hope that tomorrow I will come to the Internet cafe and get your message and your new photo.
that could be a problem, O you said new I thought you said nude
You send it to me your new photo? ignore that request
I will wait. waiting good for the mind, but in your case
Your new friend Natalia! what no kiss

Headers

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Date: Thu, 5 Nov 2009 17:12:23 +0300
From: natalaskirt <[email protected]>
X-Mailer: The Bat! (v3.0) Professional
Reply-To: natalaskirt <[email protected]>
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Subject: Hi, my new friend Clair!
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Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 1:21 pm

I'll bait it from my male account. Very Happy

Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 12:34 am

Your more then welcome Corona

Actually you might get a better responce as a man, So Jack arrived in his truck.

Quote:

Hallo Natalia,,

thank you for replying to my mail. As I said the other day I'm Jack and I drive trucks in the Australian outback
Actually we call them road trains, as we have a big prime mover and three trailers. I'm in the truck now, and I'm on a brake, I'll have a bit of a sleep as soon as I've done this. I have a laptop computer connected to my GPS satellite navigation system. So no matter where I am I have an internet connection. Also the company can track my position through the GPS.

I,ve just looked at your photo's your a wonderful looking lady, and there's something about European woman, that Australian lades simply don't have.. You hold a great deal of appeal to me.. But most of all you know how to treat your men, your all good homemakers and loyal to your man. i find this most becoming, and your also very good looking.. i hope w can build up a friendship, and who knows where it will go.. the internet has made the world a very small place indeed..

I really hope we can get to know each other..
With good regards Jack..

It replied almost straight away, with more photo's

Quote:

Hi Jack!!!!!!!
How you feel?
I hope that all is well.
How to change your mood when you receive my letter?
I hope you liked my photos.
I hope that my photos you like.
You also send it to me a lot of photos?
I hope that will get them tomorrow.
I do not know why, but I believe you.
I do not know you, but I believe.
I do not understand why.
You know?
I will tell more about themselves.
My growth of 167 cm, weight about 52 kilograms.
And you??
I appreciate people kindness, sincerity, honesty and good attitude towards others.
I love it when clean, comfortable.
When I come home I am always happy because the house is always clean.
And you love to prepare in the kitchen?
I just adore.
My grandmother taught me and now I always do and everything is in the kitchen.
What do you like?
What dishes?
I ask you what you like women.
For example, I like men who quiet, sincere and not cheating.
Whom I love and who love me.
Do you think you might be my favorite person?
Or not?
I think that soon we will know it.
When you can get me better.
How are you dealing with today?
I hope that when you receive my letter, it warms you and makes you a good day.
I hope that you all well.
I would wait for your letter tomorrow.
I hope that will get answers to all your questions and a lot of your photos.
Your Natalia.

She also sent me a couple of photo's , of someone who looks about 12

Now when she finds out that Jack is two timing her as he lives with the bisexual Clair, and little Clair thinks dear little innocent Natalia, has her hands on her truck driver boyfriend.. but that's all to come.. Question

Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 2:31 am

Quote:

I like men who quiet, sincere and not cheating.

I be that! Razz

Quote:

When you can get me better.

Show me better! Laughing

It not responded to me. Evil or Very Mad

Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 9:37 pm

You mean she's two-timing me?!

My male ident sent a message to it, and I got this today:

I am glad, that you have written to me.
I very much waited for your letter.
I do not know how to begin acquaintance and that about myself to tell.
But I think, that we can learn one about other much,
and ours dialogue will be pleasant.
I would like, that you would send more than the photos and answered my questions sincerely.
I like sincerity and the truth. What it would not be.
I shall wait for your letter with impatience.
Your new girlfriend Natalia!

Complete with the picture of it in shorts.

It's going to be fun.

Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2009 4:01 am

^^^I've gotten the same mail, three timing son of a gun and welcome to the facility. Wink

Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2009 4:07 am

I don't think he/she has worked out that the lovely Clair is a woman, So I've sent her some photo's of an old russian scrubber, someone sent me..

So lets see if she replied to my recycled russian.. Wink

Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 12:52 pm

I wrote:

Quote:

OK darling!

I think you are beautiful.

My wife left me for another man and having a hard time with it. I need someone like you so I can heal.

I not know how to show my pic and can you help?

Got this:

Quote:

Hello my new friend!!!!!I am glad to receive your letter. I thought about how you write to me or not write, and waited with impatience for your letter. I am happy when I received a letter. I am very sorry for you. What have you got so turned to his wife. I understand those feelings. So sorry to part with your beloved. You now need support and I will try to console you. Time is the best remedy for this. Time heals. Soon everyone will come and I'm sure you have a very happy time. I'm sure. We extend our acquaintance with you. Actually I'm from Russia!!! Perhaps now you do not understand why I'm on the site said that I live in another country. I thought it was a foreign site, and it is only for foreigners, so I wrote that I live in another country because I was afraid that he would delete my profile. I hope you have no objections? I'm just telling you the truth, it seems that there is nothing wrong with that? I first became acquainted in the Internet, I looked at the profile that I gave at the dating site and saw you. I decided to write to you. I hope that you understood my first message. My name is Natalya. I'm 28 years old, I have never been married. I have a quiet nature, live c my mother in an apartment. My city's called Novocheboksarsk. My Republic is Chuvashia. Yes I am from Russia!! In addition to mothers, grandmothers and girlfriends have no close friends. His father, I never saw her mother and says nothing about it. Who do you work? I work as a nurse in our hospital. I love my job. I do not know what else to tell about myself. Can you say more about yourself? I want to know a lot about you. Why did you decide to get acquainted in the Internet? What are you looking for in a girl? What is your character? How do you like holidays? I'll gladly answer your questions. Ask and I shall tell about myself. I just do not know what else to tell. What are you interested? I hope that you write to me tomorrow. I hope that tomorrow I'll be in the Internet cafe and get your letter and your new photo. you send me your new photo? I'll wait. Your new friend Natalya!

Don't know when I got so turned to his wife. Laughing

It also confesses to lying about where it tis. Laughing

Posted: Sat Nov 14, 2009 4:14 am

I wrote:

Quote:

Hello darling,
When I get your mail, it excites me to no end.
I've gotten a friend to help with my pics, she is suppose to come over tonite. Hope she does!
I love clean house and southren dishes. No one cooks like my mother and that's all there is to that.
Tell me what you cook and I'll tell you weather I like or not.
Waiting to get excited again.

It wrote:

Quote:

Hello my dear friend!!!!How are you? How's your day? All that today was bad in my day, just disappeared, leaving only the good, after I received your letter. I am very glad that you have not forgotten about me and wrote me.I want to tell you about my family more. I want to tell you about how I grew up, and who I was brought up. Brought up by my grandmother and mother. My mom name is Galina, my grandmother name is Evgeniya. I live with my mother in an apartment in our city. My grandmother lives in another village, it is called Znamenka. On my father I do not know, mother, and grandmother did not speak about it. My mother was crying, or go, when I ask her about it. So I do not know. I do not want my mother to cry. Grandma I very good. I have lived it every summer and I really enjoyed it. She good. She and I often strolled together in the woods, went swimming and went to pick berries. I want to explain to you why I can not find the man of her dreams in their country. We have men, but many drink or beat their wives. But others are already married. So I decided to get acquainted with you. You like to drink much alcohol? Just tell the truth. I hope not. I do not drink or smoke, just for the holidays I let drink some wine. I do not mind that the man would drink, but not much and not often. I want to say right away that I do not like to scream and quarrel. I love to laugh and I want that would be my favorite was always happy and never sad. And I'm going to do for this. I am always ready to kiss him, if it makes him happy. I wish that we enjoyed with him our love, passion and tenderness. I hope that the photo, which I now send, you like it. I am waiting for your letter. I will reap tomorrow

And sends me this:

http://i295.photobucket.com/albums/mm155/eater_photos/GetAttachment.jpg

Very Happy

Posted: Sat Nov 14, 2009 8:49 am

Well since it realized that little Clair was a paper woman, I haven't heard from it, But she thinks Jack's wonderful and keeps sending questionnaires, Then I was a day late with a reply,,so i got this.

Quote:

Hello my dear!!!
Why do not you write?
I really miss you .. I miss you very for your letter ..
They decorated my life into this gray world.
I know that you're far away from me and you are busy.
But I beg to find me a couple of minutes and write me.
I worry
I do not want to lose our fellowship with you.
I hope that you will write me soon and I'll be happy.
I hope that you write to me today.
I'll wait.
Natalya ...

It's still well and truly still "on'' script, so there's no point in asking anything important, as it simply won't hear me..

Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 7:42 am

My male ident is very upset - four emails from it, and it hasn't said she loves him. He has just returned from an extremely profitable business trip and emailed it while sitting on his deck watching the sun set over the lake.
Does it not realise what a good thing it's on to?? Crying or Very sad

Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 11:56 am

She's a one man woman, and she's in love with Jack.

But give her time Mouse, it takes her about 10 replies and a heap of questions before she will love you.

Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 3:52 pm

I told that I loved her in my last mail. Razz

Let's see if it loves me back. Laughing

Edit:

Quote:

Hello my friend!!!How are you? What is your mood? What did you do today? I hope that everything you wanted, everything turned out.You know what I saw today? When I walked down the street, I saw a small cat. He was purring and staring at me. I picked it up and brought him home. Now I do not know what name to give him. I've never had a cat. Can you help me? I want to know about you, how you love to rest? You love to go on nature? What songs do you like? What movies? What dances? would you dance with me? I do not dance very well, but with you I would have agreed to dance. Theater, the sea? What else do you like? Tell me. I love, movies and cooking. My grandmother taught me to cook many dishes, and I am sure you would have liked the dishes that I have prepared. I know how to cook this pizza that no one else can cook. I am sure you would rate my skills in the kitchen. You were at sea? I was once in Sochi. I really liked it. As a cool breeze envelops the body like the cool water gives freshness and delight. Not enough only one. Men, with which all these can be enjoyed. You would go with me?? I think that you and I would never neglect such a trip. What do you think? And so I send you greetings from my mother and girlfriends. I'll wait for your photos and letters. They are my joy each day. I am happy that I met you. With you I can not discuss what I want. I am waiting for your letter. VERY WAIT!!

Need to think of a good name for a cat and then it should love me. Laughing

Posted: Wed Nov 18, 2009 6:35 pm

I thought of a name for the cat and here is what I sent:

Quote:

Hello my darling!

I love kittens and wish they did not grow. Is this cat or kitten? If it is kitten, name him smallboi!

I love to dance, cook, walk, sing, skate, read, swim, laugh and sex.

That's purty much it.

Love you!

This is what I get in return:

Quote:

Hello my dear!!!Today, no letter from you and I am very worried. Why did I stop writing? I do not understand. What happened? I am very worried. For the last few times I went to an internet cafe in the hope to read your letter. But your letter all no and no. I think that our acquaintance, we need to, we often wrote to each other. I very much hope that you will write me and explain everything.

Perhaps it wants to forget about the cat. Rolling Eyes

I sent this:

Quote:

I did not stop writing, my love!

Go back and read my last mail, please!

I do love you and I mean that.

It:

Quote:

Hello!!!!!!I do not even know you like my picture, but I send it to you.I would like to know from you about your friends. You have a lot of friends? And this? Not just acquaintances. And people who you can trust around??? And they always give advice to you, as if he was not hurt. Who does not want you pain. Which all help you. I only have one real friend, with whom we can talk about everything. It is with her I went to the movies. Remember to tell? Her name is Irina. She and I grew up together and studied together, went to dances together. She now works as a teacher in the school. She teaches English. We with her well-studied English in school. And what are your friends? You have many real friends? Tell the truth. And have a photo where you together? You can send it to me? It's interesting and I want to know everything about you. I guess I do a lot of questions, I hope that you are not offended by it. I already miss you and check mail. Suddenly comes your letter? I'm waiting, waiting for a very ..... Your!

Here is the pic it sent:
http://i295.photobucket.com/albums/mm155/eater_photos/GetAttachment-1.jpg

It does not love me yet. Twisted Evil

Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 1:33 am

I've also been getting the "hurry Up and reply" mails, But I keep it waiting
at least 24 hours before I reply. And as my charatures a truck driver, he can't always find a McDonalds for a free internet connection. So she has to wait.
But I think if you sent it a reply every hour, you would get the same number of replies, in return.

It's not going to reply to my little bisexual, since I sent it a photo of a
little slapper. Poor Clair, does have trouble finding herself a girl friend. But all it's scripts are just questionares, it goes on and on and wants to know what I'm thinking about.

It's just told me about the little kitten it's found , I might ask it to send me a nice picture of it's Pussy. We haven't got to the naming thing yet. Overdraft, would be a good name. or if he's a boy Fucknuckle, would be quite appropriate. Of cause if it's been de-sexed, she could call it Nun-nuts.
Perhaps I should just sent it a recipe, for marinated pussy.
It also want's to know what I'm thinking when I wake up, and what do I like to do when I wake up. If I tell it, I'll never hear from the crazy bitch again.

Posted: Sat Nov 21, 2009 12:42 am

Follow up!

I sent:

Quote:

Hello darling!

I love your pic and your friend too.

I have a few friends that I can trust and that is nice.

I want you to fall in love with me so we can get to know one another.

I love to write and hear from you, my darling!

Love you,

It sent:

Quote:

Hello my dear!!!!!!!When you woke up today, you got my greetings, I asked me to tell you the sun? They send you my greetings? He warmed you? I beg you tell me. I am so glad to receive your letter. I am glad that I'm interested in you.I am very tired today at work. But fatigue was after I received your letter. Tell me about your work? What are you doing? What do you do? Can you more detail? You work every day? I am every day except Saturday and Sunday. But sometimes have to work in those days. Sometimes I need to work several times a week at night. But usually the end of the week I go to my grandmother. I have a very good grandma. She taught me everything. I know how to wash, ironing, caring for clothing, repair it, cook excellent dishes. Grandma said that taught me the very best. And I am very grateful to her for that. Would you like to taste sweet cakes, which we have to do with Grandma? I'm sure you would have liked. They are very tasty. And what dishes you would like me to prepare? Or learned how to cook? I do not know what time of day you just get a letter? Morning? Or the evening? I'll wait for your letter. I hope that you will answer as soon as you receive it.

I sent:

Quote:

Hi Darling!
So good to hear from you and you do make the sun shine. I'm so sorry about your hard work and hope you relax. I think I could love your grandmother also. Can she make shepards pie? I love it and want you to know how to take care of my want. It is evening here and I want to hear back from you with your deep feeling of me.

Got this:

Quote:

Hello!!!!!!!!!!!I'm sorry that I can not now answer your letter. My colleague ill, and I shall have to replace her in the hospital. I do not have time now answer your letter. I hope that you will not be offended. I will respond to your letter tomorrow and send you my photo. I'm sorry, I really should run. I hope you understand me.

We all know what is next. Twisted Evil

I sent this:

Quote:

No, I don't understand, but I'll try!

Not love me yet. Laughing

Posted: Sat Nov 21, 2009 1:51 am

Looks like you've been put on hold Confused

Posted: Sat Nov 21, 2009 5:42 pm

^^^Really thought it would have come up with the translator bit already.

Got this today:

Quote:

Hello!!!!!!!!!I hope you all understand and do not hurt me. I have this job and I had to go to the hospital and help people. I hope that you are not offended at me for it. I am very tired today. I have not slept almost half of the day. I worked all night and day, too. And now I'm in Internet cafes. When I was at work I think about you. I am happy that I met you, and I want more and more you learn. I want to be with you more often. The first time I met a man like you, and you I like. When I worked at night, I fell asleep and had a dream. In this dream, I was on the beach and sunbathing. I was lying on his back and was reading a novel. And then a shadow covered the sun and I turned around. It was you. You said that a skin like me, that would not burn the need to use the cream for sunburn. I told him that he be with me. But I can not put it on your back, you said that helped. You have such good and soft hands, and I enjoyed when you use the cream for sunburn. you to help me if I asked you to help me? I think yes. I woke up and did not know what is over, but I think that I can see the continuation of this dream. What did you eat today? What Russian dishes do you know? Have you tried borscht? Ravioli? Pancakes? I know very well prepared dishes and I am sure that you would like it if you're mg to try them. you would like to try them? I think I oxford surprise you with his skill. And what can you do well? Tell me. I do not know, I receive your letter tomorrow or not, but I hope that you are not offended, and answer me tomorrow and send me your photo. I really want to get more of your photo. I send you my kisses and I hope they warm your heart, and you will forgive me. I await your answer!

Well, it likes me and what a wild dream. Cool

Does anyone know what an oxford surprise is? Laughing

Posted: Sat Nov 21, 2009 5:53 pm

^ As a matter of fact, I do.

Urbandictionairy.com wrote:

An Oxford Surprise is when a door is opened in front of you and the person behind it squirts a load of their semen into your eye.
Obviously, this takes a lot of planning and accuracy.

Posted: Sat Nov 21, 2009 10:57 pm

^^^

Quote:

I think I oxford surprise you with his skill.

I don't think it knows what it means either. Laughing

edit:
I sent this:

Quote:

Hello my darling!

What makes you think that I would ever hurt you? I wish you were with me, gal!

How could I offend you for helping people, come on!!!

My hands are rough, I hate to tell ya. But, I will get them soft before you cum.

I want your recipe for borscht, I need to make this dish. I need to cook new things for this sex maniac that I am. I hate it that I told you that and I will slap my face right now, I tell ya!

I want to give you an oxford surprise the first time that I see you and I mean that from the bottom of this old heart of mine.

I love you until I die and come to me.

Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2009 2:10 am

[quote="Caligula"]^ As a matter of fact, I do.

Urbandictionairy.com wrote:

An Oxford Surprise is when a door is opened in front of you and the person behind it squirts a load of their semen into your eye.
Obviously, this takes a lot of planning and accuracy.

It would also require the acquisition of a short ladder and // or a midget. To get all the angles and firing range at the same hight.

But the idea's quite interesting. Providing we can aquire a short ladder at
the right price Wink

Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2009 2:32 pm

Quote:

Perhaps I should just sent it a recipe, for marinated pussy

Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2009 2:41 pm

Ah yes, something down at my level Very Happy

Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2009 2:45 pm

Quote:

It would also require the acquisition of a short ladder and // or a midget. To get all the angles and firing range at the same hight.

HAHAHAHA, and there is my morning coffee spewed on the monitor again. Laughing

I just got to remember NOT to be drinking anything when I read these.

Posted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 2:56 am

You all are aweful! Laughing

Here is the latest from it:

Quote:

Hello my dear!!!!!!When you woke up you were in a good mood today? Or bad? What you saw in your dreams? You remember I told you that they had found a kitten? This morning he came to my bed and began to gently spinning around in my hands. It was so nice!! I would like that would wake up every day from the kiss and tender touch of his hand. Would you like to wake up from my kisses?I want to talk to you about the most personal. About what is happening in your heart. Do you have secrets? Are you do not tell me anyone? I beg you tell me honestly. I do not know why, but I do not want to hide anything from you. Because I'm sure it will remain between us and you will not tell anyone. You for me became even closer than my friend, I can talk about what did not tell my mother and grandmother. I believe you and I can not explain why. My mother, grandmother, friend, know that I communicate with you. They say that I had changed. Has become more cheerful. There is a feeling that my life has changed completely. You changed my life, added some more joy and happiness. And I want to thank you for it. But what has changed in your life? What do your friends? You told me? I beg you, tell me only the truth and sincerity. You're not tired of reading my letter? I suppose I write a lot and asking too many questions. Or not? How do you like my new picture! I will wait your letter tomorrow.

Too many questions? Na! Laughing